Beautiful Rose (Elixir Billionaires #1)

24. Zander

24

ZANDER

I hear her sobs as her fingers trail remnants of the most vile memories of my childhood. Her hands rest over the scars buried beneath the ink. Turning around, I find her misty blue eyes fixed on the rose thorns. “It’s okay, Marr.”

“No, it’s not. It’s…just not fair.” She throws her arms around me as all her emotions unleash and she weeps into my chest.

“Why does it have to be like this?” she asks in between her heavy sobs.

I know she’s thinking and wishing against reality. I’ve been doing the same since the night she told me her story.

Why is this so fucked up? Why can’t I say the name of this girl, who in such a short time has become so important to me? Why can’t I laugh and joke rather than be hysterical when she shows me her silly jewelry?

I hold her tight, mustering the courage to say words I haven’t spoken out loud in a long time.

“My father died in a car accident soon after Zane was born. He was a middle-class man who sought happiness in the smaller things in life, until he met this young theater actress who only dreamt of Broadway and Hollywood.” I sift through the broken memories my father has shared with me.

“After a few months of courtship, they got married and welcomed their first child before their first wedding anniversary. Middle-class life and a newborn threw all the glamorous dreams out the window. What remained were continuous arguments, petty quarrels, heavy drinking, and constant smoking.” I smell the smoke, just as I do whenever I think of those days. I don’t know if these sensations are real memories or just my imagination. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as Marr clutches my forearms.

“Add another child to this shit, and the occasional drinking and smoking turned into alcoholism and drug abuse. But children don’t understand; they think it’s affection, even when reprimanded.” How dumb and stupid kids can be? “After my father died, his wife did what any other twenty-eight-year-old girl who had to sustain three kids under the age of six along with her addiction would do. She moved in with a man who gave shelter to her three boys, which included a six-month-old baby, and tended to her craving. Her supplier.”

“Zander.” Marr pulls away from me, and I’m pained by her puffy bloodshot eyes. I hate to hurt her, but I also want to share my life, my secrets, with her. She said she would be there for me if I ever wanted to talk. And I want to take her up on that. Averting my gaze from her, I continue, about to unravel the most horrifying years of my life.

“We left our house and moved to a devil’s den. The woman was always high, and a six-year-old had to fend for his baby brothers.”

“Oh my god.” She gasps as tears roll down her cheeks. My throat dries as I revisit my horrifying past.

“It killed me to see the woman, whom I once loved the most, decaying every day. But it was not her that changed our life. It was the demon who got three weak preys. He was a pervert, a sadist, a pedo—”

“Stop. Please stop,” she cries, and I take her in my arms.

“I’m so sorry, Marr.” Sweat trickles down my back.

“I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. I hate this life. I hate it Zander, so much. What did… we do to deserve this? Why did people do this to us? Why did no one love us? Why did they not fight for us?” she cries, and I have no answer to her questions. “Did he—” Heavy sobs cut down her words.

“He whipped me every night, every fucking night. If I resisted, he would lock me out of the house, naked on chilly winter and sultry summer nights, but he never touched me. I was”—my mouth is suddenly dry—“too old for his taste. My age became my immunity, but not so much for the others.” Tears threaten to spill from my eyes, remembering the dreadful night when I was a witness of the gruesome incident. That night changed everything for us. The next dawn was as black as the earlier night, taking away the life of the woman I loved the most then .

“The woman died of a drug overdose. She did one good thing; she never married the devil. One day, I got a chance and sneaked into his office, where there was the only phone in the house, and I called the police. They sent us to a boys’ home, and the rest is history.”

I’m relieved that it’s finally over.

“The devil?”

“Died.”

“The woman’s name was Rose.” It’s not a question but a statement. I’m relieved that Marr didn’t refer to her with the M word. She looks at me with so much agony—it’s not pity but grief in her eyes. If there’s someone who can understand my suffering, it’s her.

Several minutes pass by without a word. We let everything sink in, every fucking fucked-up thing. I hate to see the remorse on her face. I tell her more, not wanting her to think that I have no happy memory of her name.

“Before all hell broke loose, there were some happy moments in my childhood. My father made the most beautiful garden in the country. There were… roses”—I shiver saying the dreaded word—“of every kind, every color. He became so popular that we had press at our doorstep to cover the story of the amazing roses that bloomed all year round. It was a magical place, my home.”

I reminisce about those few happy days. I don’t do that often, as Zach and Zane have wiped out any memory of our life before Beast. I would also love to do the same, if I didn’t have these few moments with my father holding me back.

“The entire neighborhood smelled of roses. On Valentine’s Day, people would stop by and my father would sell one rose for one love story.” I smile. “He was a sucker for love stories. I asked him once why he didn’t sell the flowers for money, at least on Valentine’s Day. He said, ‘You can buy anything but love in this world. Remember that, my boy. When those people share their stories, they share their love, their heart, with us. No money can compare to it. ’”

I remember my father’s words. How he nipped every rose carefully and tied a ribbon around it, listening to his customers with great attention. “My father even taught me how to plant hybrid roses.”

“I’m so sorry, Zander. I’m so sorry for everything you and your brothers faced. I’m… so sorry for making this much harder for you than it already is,” she says, pulling me into her soft arms.

“No, Marr. You make everything beautiful. You make this hell of a life worth living. As paradoxical as it may sound, you replace those old, dark memories with newer, brighter ones. You make everything endurable. You—”

“I love you.” Her admission stops me mid-sentence .

I wrench her away from my chest and peer into her eyes. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Zander,” she says without hesitation. “There are so few things I am certain about in this life and falling in love with you is one of them. I’m not expecting anything in return; I know I’m not an easy person—”

I don’t let her finish whatever silly reasoning she’s concocted in her brain and ravish her lips. “I love you, Marr. So much.” I seize her lips again.

My mind becomes unfettered, and I bathe in the euphoria of passion. My hands get lost in her hair as I rub her silky strands between my fingers. I grab the back of her neck and tilt her head so that my intruding tongue has better access to her sweet mouth. She mewls against my lips as my hands descend to her shoulders and lower. I hate the feeling of the bathrobe. I want her naked. While my lips continue seducing her, I pull on her belt. Breaking our contact, I look down at the most exquisite body.

Last night, I got a glimpse of her under the low light of the laptop screen. But today in my arms, I savor her beauty. She’s wearing a sea blue lace bra with a small white bow in the middle. It’s swanky yet modest. It covers most of the swell of her breasts, showing only her cleavage— a perfect tease. I chuckle.

“What?” She looks at me, puzzled.

“You are an anomaly, Marr. What is this, some Victoria Secret’s piece?” I ask, tugging on the small bow.

“Actually, it is,” she says, feigning pride beneath her blushing self.

“Then let’s take a look at the complete set.” I take a chance and glide my hands over her soft naked stomach. But when she doesn’t protest, I continue.

Holding her gaze, I tug on the elastic of her underwear, and when it hits her stomach, she gasps. Consumed by the need to see her, all of her, I carry her in my arms. After throwing the bathrobe on the couch, I place her on the middle of the bed.

Fucking hell!

A similar bow sits in the middle of the waistband of her panties. I place one knee on the bed. Hovering over her, I take in the beauty of her smooth skin shining under the glow of soft light. Her damp hair spreads out on the pillow, and her hands rest awkwardly, as if she doesn’t know what to do with them. She blushes so deep that her neck and ears turn scarlet. Her legs are tightly closed, highlighting the sexy V of her sex.

“Zander.” She rolls on her back in embarrassment, but it makes my view fucking better.

My eyes scan her toned legs and her partly covered soft butt cheeks. As I progress further up, I halt at the sight of scars marring her back. That night in the hotel room, I just had a glimpse, but now I see them clearly. Deep marks on her entire back. I bend down and kiss the one closest to her waist.

“ Crab !” She turns around fast, looking shocked. “I’m… sorry.”

“What is it?” I crouch, bringing my face closer to hers.

“Nothing. For a moment… I forgot,” she whispers. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not a sight you want to see.”

“Marr, I want to see you—all of you. You have the most beautiful body. When I see your back, I don’t see scars; I see the pain you’ve suffered, and it hurts me. But there is nothing I want to change in you or on your body. You are perfect just as you are.”

A tear trickles down her cheek.

“No more tears, couch girl.” I place a soft kiss on her lips before I get down to show her just how much I love her body.

I kiss in between her breasts, just above the white bow of her bra. She relaxes under my touch as I feather kisses around the edges. Her hands grab the sheets, clutching them tight as I increase the frequency and depth of my kisses, licking and sucking in between. When I know my lips have covered every part of her uncovered soft skin, I shift lower and kiss her stomach. She moans as I reach her belly button and continue going down further.

“Zander.”

I press kisses along the waistline of her panties. The smell and anticipation of what’s to come makes me nervous. I’ve never felt like this during sex, but with Marr, it’s different. We’re making love. I want to make her first experience good—not only good, but the fucking best .

I place my trembling hands on her hips and put my nose over the wet spot on her panties. She smells fucking divine.

“Zander. What… what are you doing?” She raises her head, looking down at me.

“Today, I’m gonna get the smell and taste directly from the source.”

“Are… you… serious?” Her hooded eyes widen in lust and surprise.

“Why are you surprised, Marr?”

“Is it”—she crinkles her nose—“hygienic?”

I can’t hold back my laughter as my forehead rests over her pelvis. Only my girl can be so fucking cute, even when we are almost naked.

“Marr, you being so innocent is only making me desperate to do all the naughty things to you.” And just to show her how naughty I’m thinking, I suck the covered wet spot.

“Ship! ” she cries and falls back on the bed.

I slowly drag her panties down, then throw them behind me and take in the sight of her naked sex. Glancing up, I find her face covered with both her hands, and a chuckle escapes my lips at the sight. Rising up, I slide my hands under her back and unclasp her bra. Her hands move away from her face, allowing me to remove her last item of clothing.

Marr and I look down at her naked body at the same time.

She is such a beauty. Her skin is soft and white. Her curvy body puts all skinny models to shame.

“Please don’t stare.”

I’m fucking proud upon listening to her breathy, hoarse voice. I haven’t even touched her, yet she is so turned on.

“Why? Would you rather I do something?”

“Please don’t stare, and don’t talk.” She hides her face behind her hands again.

I bend down and suck her nipple. Her hands drop, but her eyes remain shut tight. I blow on the wet nipple that was inside my mouth moments ago. She squirms, her soft hands clenching the sheets. Her response is making this so hard for me.

My dick pokes from the towel around my waist. I repeat the process of sucking, licking, and blowing on her other nipple as she moans loudly.

I travel down, littering kisses here and there until I’m fully in between her legs. I take one last look at my girl, her eyes shut, hands clenching the sheets so tight that her knuckles are white. Instead of lowering myself, I hoist her legs up and place them on my shoulders, spreading her open for me.

“Zander!” Her hands reach out to cover her sex.

“Remove your hands, Marr.” When I fix her with my gaze, she reluctantly relents as I place a soft kiss over her mound.

“Don’t be scared. I want to love you—every part of you. Don’t hide yourself from me.”

I kiss her wet lips; she’s soft, just as I expected. She fusses but doesn’t fight as I slowly open her more with my fingers. I place a soft kiss on her clit and then kiss her and lick her everywhere, using my mouth and tongue earnestly. I suck her clit again and again until she buckles. Her legs are trembling under my hands, and she screams my name before falling apart.

I gently place her legs back and crawl up. “Babe, are you all right?”

She hums, not making eye contact. Her shyness and modesty are my undoing.

“Look at me, Marr.” I lift her chin with my finger. “I want to feel you, make love to you.”

“I want that too,” she whispers and gazes at me with wide eyes that are a little excited and a little scared.

I grab a condom from the night table, and she looks at the packet with hesitation.

“It’s an unopened pack. I bought it last night before coming to your place.”

She smiles, surprised.

Yes, I can read you, baby. I’ve come to realize that Marr’s brain’s first response is to doubt everything around her.

I remove the towel and wrap the condom over my length. Her eyes widen as she stares at my dick with apprehension.

“I won’t hurt you. You know that, right?” I ask, and thankfully , she nods. I think I’ll go mad if I can’t be inside her right this second.

I lower myself between her legs and gently push my hard length inside her wet heat. The thought that I’m Marr’s first boyfriend and the first one to experience her untouched body is celestial.

“It might hurt a bit.” I thrust more until I am completely seated. She feels fucking tight and fucking good.

We lose ourselves in each other. No vigorous, strained moves. Just learning and getting familiar with each other’s touch. My heart fills with new, raw emotions. For the first time in my life, I feel safe. I know there’s no deceit or fraud in this girl’s emotions, and she truly loves me.

After a while I ask, “Is it okay if I move, baby? ”

“Yes, please.”

I make shallow thrusts. This precious moment with her is more than sex. It’s greater than anything physical I’ve ever experienced. Resting all my weight on my elbows, I shift my gaze to her face and am surprised to find her smiling through stray tears.

“I love you so much.” My throat strains as I say the words.

“Thank you so much for being the first one to love me.”

My heart cracks and melts at her open confession.

“Don’t thank me, baby. I told you, we were meant to be together. I was meant to love you and I always will.”

Taking her into a slow kiss, I continue making love to her, which I plan to do all night.