42. Rose
42
ROSE
As the elevator takes me to the floor of my office at the R&D department of Elixir Inc., my mind drifts back to yesterday. Zander and I spent the day surfing the internet for properties. I didn’t know there were so many options—condo, penthouse, studio, service apartment, cottage, duplex, villa, and the list goes on. You say a letter and there’s a house style beginning with it.
I grew up in Kindred Hearts Orphanage and later moved to the university dorm. When Kristy and I took jobs in Cherrywood, we found an ad from Mr. Hart in the supermarket. He was searching for tenants for the bottom unit of his two-story house, and I’m still living there. I’m so glad I didn’t have more options back then because I’d be completely lost, just like I am now.
After dumping my laptop bag in my office, I leave to look for Kristy.
“Kristy.” I enter her office, only to find her pressed at some weird angle on a wall holding company branding pics while Oscar ravishes her lips.
Instead of the enticing scene, my eyes rivet on a picture where Zander is receiving some award. Dressed in a classic business suit, he’s just making his way down a ramp. And to think, this man wants to live with me. Why?
“Sorry, Rose,” Oscar says mischievously as he pulls away from Kristy.
Shouldn’t I be sorry for interrupting them?
Me walking in on them is becoming more and more frequent. Maybe I should knock now that they’re regularly making out at the office.
“I’ll see you later, wife.” He winks at Kristy and exits after wishing me a good morning.
“Rosie, Rosie.” Kristy hugs me excitedly. “I’m so happy.”
I giggle at her excitement. As always, her presence calms me. “What’s happening?”
“Zander is moving here. Isn’t that enough good news?” She looks at me suspiciously. “You’re not excited?”
“I am,” I whisper and try to calm my quaking nerves.
But I guess I’m failing badly, as she asks, “But?”
How do you explain to someone that you’re nervous about your beautiful and beyond-caring fiancé wanting to move in with you? Instead of imagining how wonderful it’ll be, my crazy brain is focused on all that could go wrong.
“I…don’t know. It’s all going…too fast.” I flop down onto a chair in order to avoid her prying gaze.
“What do you mean?” But she sits across from me, not letting it go.
I’m forced to give voice to my concerns.
“We’ve only been engaged for a few months, and we’re already talking about moving in. It’ll not be long before the discussions of marriage start. And then—”
“You don’t want to marry Zander?” Kristy cuts in, looking at me incredulously.
“I do. Why wouldn’t I? I love him. I love him so much.” I hate my wobbly voice.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy?
“Rosie, what’s the matter?” Grabbing my hands, Kristy presses on them lightly. She knows light touches calm me. I’m so lucky to have a friend like her in my life. But there are hidden places in my mind where even I’m not allowed to enter. Some questions are better left unanswered.
I shake my head, trying to end this discussion. “Nothing. I’m just nervous. You know…how I get in such situations.”
It’s true—people make me nervous. I’ve no trouble solving a difficult problem or working on the most complicated piece of code, but it’s people that get me all wound up. People are unpredictable, and I don’t do well with surprises.
She nods and leads me out of her office. “Let’s get rid of this sappy mood with a latte macchiato from Steamy Beans.”
We quickly make our way to the café overlooking our office building. When we enter, I take a seat by the window, and soon, Kristy brings over a tray with two coffees and a piece of pecan pie.
“Zander is at the new office site?” she asks, taking a sip of her coffee.
I nod, slipping a piece of the heavenly pie into my mouth.
Sweet sugar. It’s really delicious.
“What did you guys do yesterday?”
“We were looking for houses,” I say, adding sugar into my coffee.
“God, you guys are moving in together,” she shrieks, and the sugar sachet falls from my hand into the hot coffee cup.
Using a spoon, I drag the wet paper out. “What’s up with you today? You’re excited about everything.”
“I got married. You got engaged. You’re moving in with your fiancé, who happens to be the CEO of our company. Is all this not enough to be excited about?”
When she says it like that…
“What’s bothering you?”
I hang my head in resignation. “I don’t know what house I like. Condo, house with a porch, without a porch, garden, no garden… I just don’t know. It’s all overwhelming.” Even th inking about all those pictures right now clouds my brain.
She leans closer to me. “You can always talk to him, Rosie. That man worships the ground you walk on. Why are you so nervous? Just think about the house you see yourself living in with Zander. Imagine your dream house.”
Dream house. Six months back, I never considered having a house of my own, let alone a dream house.
But how would it be if I had one? I close my eyes, imagining it. Something in Cherrywood, for sure. No other place has felt more like home than this town.
“Why aren’t you ready to leave?” Zander walks into my office.
I look up from my PC, and my stomach does cartwheels at his slightly disheveled state. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, and his tie rests loose around his neck. He takes off his jacket and drapes it over one of the chairs.
Goose bumps appear on my skin when he rolls up his sleeves, giving me a good view of those sinewy forearms. My breathing accelerates as my eyes follow his every movement until he stands still.
I look up to find him smiling.
Crab. His heated gaze brings those no-longer-foreign storms of flutters back to my stomach.
When he doesn’t say a word or move but continues to stare at me, I squeak, “What?”
This man! How does he make me all mushy?
He bites his lower lip, barely hiding his breathtaking smile. “You can check me out as long as you like, couch girl.”
“I wasn’t…checking you out.” My voice shivers when he bends until we’re at eye level.
He kisses me briefly on my cheek before moving his head further down to my neck. My collared shirt gives him only partial access.
Smelling deeply, he asks in a husky voice, “What is it today?”
I know he’s asking about my body wash. For some inexplicable reason, Zander finds all my quirks adorable.
“Summer kiss,” I whisper.
He takes one more whiff before pulling back, but not far. “Close your eyes, Rose.”
I’m still getting used to hearing my name on his lips.
“Why?” I ask, but I do as he says.
Before my eyelids drop completely, he breathes over my lips. “I’m gonna give you a Zander kiss.”
With that, he places his lips over mine. His tongue licks my lips, seeking permission, and I let him in as I always do.
We remain glued to each other until I hear sounds of doors opening and closing and people chatting from afar. I pull back, but Zander’s hold on my face tightens, not letting me move.
“Zander, there are still people in the office.” How I managed to form a sentence in my half-drowsy state is a surprise.
“I don’t give a fuck.” He leans in, but when we hear footsteps just outside my door, he pulls back with a suppressed groan.
“Zander, I was hoping to find you here.” Kristy walks into my office, followed by Oscar. She gives me a knowing smile, and I narrow my eyes, asking her to shut up.
“How’s the site coming?” Kristy asks before she sits on a chair and pulls Oscar onto the one next to her.
I have a hard time focusing on their conversation, and my gaze often lingers on Zander, distracting me from everything else. At this moment, in this office, he exudes a confidence, a power. While yesterday, in my home, he was my fiancé, vulnerable and totally in love with me .
I try to look past my doubts and fears. Him being here means I’m no longer alone. Since Kristy’s wedding, my dinners are mostly takeout, which I eat at my desk. I leave work later than usual because I don’t like going back to an empty house and eating alone. Clementine has some weird arrangement with her family where she has to be at Hawthorne Mansion every night.
Oh, how much I’ve hated it for the past month. After talking to Zander each night on the phone, I missed him more and more. But now, he’s here. We don’t have to pine for intimacy and curse the hundred miles between us.
Why the heck didn’t I think about it sooner?
I jump in my seat when Kristy taps my Bluetooth mouse.
“What?” I try to hide my embarrassment when Zander chuckles and Oscar smiles at me.
“Nothing. We’re off. You can gawk at your man all you want.” She gets up from the chair and hangs her bag over her shoulder.
“I’m not gawking at anyone.” I try to look anywhere but at the three faces staring back at me.
“If you say so.” Thankfully, Kristy bounces out of my office with Oscar before embarrassing me further.
“You know, you can gawk at me all you want.” Zander crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side like he’s posing for a photograph.
“I said I wasn’t.”
Biting his lip, he takes a step forward, but his cell phone rings, stopping him. He takes it out from the inner pocket of his jacket.
“Fuck. It’s a reminder for our dinner reservation at Giovanni’s. You make me forget everything, couch girl.”
“Wait. I’ve got something to show you.” I quickly open the file and turn my PC monitor toward him.
He stares at the numerous images sprawled on the screen. “Is this for our new place? ”
I nod. “I’m making our dream house.”
“I don’t understand.” His gaze jumps rapidly from one picture to another before it glides my way. “You were so confused yesterday. What happened?”
“Um, there were too many options to choose from.” I peer away as he continues to look at me in bafflement. Instead, I point to the cottage, photographed under moonlight. “I’d like a house in the woods.”
“Okay.” He takes a seat next to me as I show him various samples of the idea. When I minimize the photographs, he asks in surprise, “You did all this today?”
“Uh-huh. I was very busy.”
“That, I can see.” He leans forward, and his warm breath tickles my neck. Taking the mouse from me, he starts the slideshow. All the pics I saved to the folder titled DREAM HOUSE start to flash on my big monitor.
Zander pulls me closer to him as our gazes are glued to the screen.
If that’s how my house will be, I can’t wait to live in it.
“Did you spend the whole day researching this, or were you also able to get some work done?”
I push my chair back, forcing him to straighten. “Is this a question from my fiancé or my boss?” I have no clue how to act sexy, but I try to stand in a seductive pose, putting one hand on my waist. Zander’s eyes follow my movements.
“I’m not your boss. Oscar is. I’m just a simple man smitten by your charms.” He places a kiss on my lips and caresses my hand, still resting on my waist. “But I’m curious. How did you go from being so hesitant to…all this in less than twenty-four hours?”
Maybe it was Kristy’s words about Zander’s love for me. The reassurance I needed. But now I feel good about this.
I shrug. “I don’t want to spend our lives in a house that we choose from some catalog. I want this to be our safe and happy place on Earth. Something we create for ourselves. I want to see the place grow and slowly fall in love with it. I want it to be…us.” When he says nothing, I ask, “Does it make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense, couch girl. But is this dream home a temporary place or…” He leaves the end of his sentence hanging, as if it’s nothing but wishful thinking. He keeps me in his arms, holding me close, noticing my every nuance.
How did I get so lucky to have such a patient man in my life?
“We are making our permanent dream house. But—”
“No pressure.” He kisses me gently, making me tingle all over.
After dinner, we decide to go for a walk by Cherry Lake. “It’s really beautiful,” Zander says.
“Yes, it’s like everything comes alive in spring with all the cherry blossoms painting the lake pink.” I look at the row of pink trees dreamily. “I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”
“And now you don’t have to.” He puts his arms around me as we sit on some rocks by the lake. I settle closer to him until I’m sitting on his lap, my head resting under his chin. I like being surrounded by Zander, his woodsy vanilla scent keeping me safe and my anxieties away.
“Can I tell you something?” I ask and feel him nod behind me.
“I’d never given much thought to a future home. I just wanted to feel safe, and I felt it with Kristy in my current place. Slowly, I made it mine by adding my personal touches.” I pull on his forearms, tightening his hold on me, and whisper, “I got nervous yesterday, first about the move and then about the house. I… I kind of worry that when we live together, you might think I’m too much. ”
He turns me around so fast that I almost get a head rush. I grab his jacket and look into his smoldering eyes.
“Rose, I love you for who you are. Don’t you know that I’m in awe of everything about you? Your chic room, your supersmart mind, and your beautiful heart.” His hand rests over my thumping chest. “I want our house to be the happiest and safest place for you.” Caressing my cheeks with his fingers, he continues. “You’ve seen my condo in St. Peppers. It’s huge and classy, but every moment I’m there, I itch to run back to you. I crave to spend my days and nights in this small town, in your pink room, in your small queen-sized bed. It’s you I want. I don’t care where we live.”
“How did I get this lucky, Zander?” I whisper and close my eyes. I don’t want to jinx my happiness. “You’re all my dreams, seen and unseen, wrapped into one.”
“And you are mine.” He kisses me, taking away my fears and anxiety and replacing them with hopes and dreams.
Zander parked his car in front of my place thirty minutes ago, but I’m in no hurry to leave.
“Rose, are you coming in or having a sleepover with your handsome fiancé in his car?” Clementine shouts from the kitchen window.
I’m sure the entire neighborhood now knows about my handsome fiancé.
“I’ll have to leave before all the neighbors are out hoping to get a glimpse of you,” I say in between giggles.
He grabs my hand. “I don’t like this.” His rare, sulky pout is on display. “We should be spending every night together,” he repeats for the hundredth time.
“I know, but I want to tell Clem about this.”
“Do whatever you have to, babe, but tomorrow, I’m having you in my bed.”