Bed of Roses

CHAPTER SEVEN THE POT AND THE KETTLE PART TWO

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE POT AND THE KETTLE

PART TWO

N oah had been taught what was right and what was wrong since birth. An integral part of his being was centered on behaving how his parents and grandfather would have wanted him to act. And he thought that he would have made them proud if they were still alive. As a child he used to pray that heaven had a mezzanine, so his parents could look down and see him. At thirty-six, he still prayed that was true.

He had done what he had set out to do. He had a successful business, earning respect in his hometown on his own merits, not on his family name or influence. He’d even reallocated the Carter home and made it into a school, something his mother had always dreamed of doing. His grandfather had wanted a bookstore, and he had completed that dream too.

When Sam had walked into his life, he was standing right on the edge of proposing to Laura. His plan to buy a ring before the end of summer now had him hesitating. He thought they would get engaged and start planning the wedding and house they wanted to build. Settle down. Grow old together—as long as Laura said that they could grow old in Homestead. Back years ago, when they had first started getting serious, she had agreed, but these days she had set her heels against the idea.

He hated himself for dreaming about Sam. He would have avoided it if he could control it, but she invaded his sleep. He’d wake up swearing that he could smell her perfume in his bedroom. He was still scolding himself when the store phone rang. In his rush, he knocked a stack of books on the floor on his way across the room.

“Hello!” he said breathlessly.

“What were you doing to be so out of breath?” Laura asked.

Laura never called on the landline, so he had thought the call might be coming from Sam. He eased down in the chair behind his desk, and a thick fog of guilt settled on his shoulders like a wet blanket on a boulder.

“I can’t even get a Hey there or How was your day ?” His tone sounded flat in his own ears.

“I called your cell phone five times, and you didn’t pick up. I’ve told you to keep it in your pocket and turned on,” Laura snapped, her voice colored with the tones of deep-rooted anger. “We have to talk. Today. I left work half an hour early. I am calling to tell you that I’m coming your way. You’ll need to close the shop up early.”

“What’s going on now, Laura?” Noah bit back a sigh. “After that scene you made at the community meeting, the whole town’s been asking if you’ve moved back to Homestead so you can run for mayor.”

“What do you think, Noah? Are you going to move to Jefferson or stay there in our parents’ shadows and grow mold?” she fired back. “I thought you might just move on and grow up once you got done grieving. But now I think you’re staying there to rot just to be near your new little red-haired friend.”

Noah shivered at her cold tone. “I’m not leaving Homestead, and that decision was made long before Sam ever came to town. Let’s not argue over the phone. How far are you out?”

“Not far enough,” she grumbled and ended the call.

Noah laid the receiver on the desk and strode back to the pile of books he had knocked over earlier and launched a copy of Moby Dick clear across the room with a strong kick.

Childish , he scolded himself.

Yes, he was tired of this, but grown men didn’t throw books.

This wasn’t the first time that Laura had wanted to talk. It was a term she held over his head like a threat, always centering on the same old list of things he must do—sell the bookstore, move to Jefferson, buy a big house and do something with his life, anything more exciting or impressive than owning a bookshop.

He didn’t want to hash all that out over again. Not today. Not ever again. He had burned his bridge with Sam so that Laura would never need to feel jealous. Nothing had ever happened other than that one time when they came close to sharing a kiss. But he had known he couldn’t because it’d hurt Laura and Sam both.

When the bell above the door rang, Noah was picking up the abused books. Laura flipped the sign in the door to say closed, switched the deadbolt, and turned back to him, raising a paper bag in front of her in a sign of peace. “I stopped and got some cornbread sandwiches from that little café that you like. Let’s take them to the back where we can be comfortable.” Her tone had changed back to the one he knew from two years ago—sweet, kind, and soft.

She sat down in Nibbler’s usual chair and put the brown paper bag on the small table between them. “First of all, I need to apologize to you, Noah. I’m sorry for arguing so much lately. I just can’t stand the thought of you wasting your life here. You have so much potential. I just feel like as your friend, I need to push you—” She caught herself and stopped short, but her voice was still soft and almost sorrowful.

“What? As my girlfriend? Or just as my friend? Or is it now as an acquaintance?” Noah asked in a measured tone. “Well, go on, I’d like to hear what you have to say.”

She opened her mouth and snapped it shut again. She opened the sack and laid the sandwiches out on paper napkins. “As your friend,” she repeated slowly, “in my opinion, you will always be the nerd that you were in high school if you stay in this place your whole life.”

“Laura, it is difficult, but at some point, you’ve got to let high school go. I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t care what people thought of me then, and I don’t care what they think of me now. What if you didn’t care either?” he asked.

“You should, and I do … or did … Whatever!” She threw up her hands and looked at Noah with desperation. “How do you really feel about me, Noah? Down, down in your heart, and be honest.”

“Well, that just came out of nowhere,” he said, standing up, too restless to sit. “Where is this stemming from?”

“Look, in the past few months, we have had supper together once a week when you were willing to drive down to my apartment in Jefferson and open the shop later the next morning. Or I’ve dropped in when I have some courthouse business here in Homestead, and that’s it. It’s been almost five months since we had sex, Noah—something’s wrong between us. I feel it, and I know you feel it too. We’ve drifted apart so much that I feel like I barely know you,” she said.

“You can’t blame all of our problems on me wanting to stay in Homestead.”

“I know.” She sighed. “It’s an impasse that we both don’t want to give on. You still didn’t answer my question.”

“Which one?” Noah asked.

“How do you feel about me?”

“Is this all about the rumors going around about me and Sam? Nothing has happened. She and I are friends, and that’s all. It was nice to have someone to talk books with.”

“Rita Jo told me that she could see sparks between you two,” she answered.

“You know me better than that. Have I ever, one time, cheated on you?”

“No, but …” Her eyes filled with tears.

He sat down and turned to focus on her. “What are you trying to say, Laura?”

“I want to know if you love me,” she answered, her voice getting shakier, “or if you’re just with me?”

“I love you, Laura,” Noah said.

“Why?”

“You were there for me when I lost my grandfather.”

“That’s a crappy reason. Do I make your heart flutter when you hear my voice? When you kiss me, do your knees buckle? Am I the first thing you think about in the morning, and the last at night before you go to sleep?” she asked.

“Why are you asking me all this now?” Noah couldn’t honestly answer the questions without upsetting her.

“You are not in love with me, are you?” Laura asked, standing up and setting her chin, her fists balled up and at her sides. “You aren’t, and I know it. I hate hydrangeas. You sent flowers to my work, and it was practically a whole bouquet of white hydrangeas. They make me think of my grandma’s funeral. I told you that back when we used to sneak onto Miller’s farmland to go swimming in the pond out back, but you didn’t remember. And you remember everything you ever read, but you didn’t remember that?”

Noah rolled his eyes, and she held up a palm. “Let me finish. You don’t look at me like you used to. I ignored it at first. I thought I loved you … I mean, I do love you, I want only the best for you. But …” She shook her head and freed the tears to flow down her cheeks. “I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry, Noah.”

Noah’s first emotion was a crashing wave of relief. The second was immense guilt for that being his initial reaction. The third emotion was a healthy pairing of anger and confusion.

“You’ve been accusing me of cheating on you since Sam moved to town, but the whole while you knew you didn’t love me or want to be with me? Why didn’t you just tell me before and finish this?”

“I didn’t know for sure,” she blurted, “but then I figured out I was right. I love you as a friend, as a confidant, but nothing more. I understand the difference now.” The silence that followed was deafening.

Now? Noah’s blood roared.

“How long?”

Those two words made Laura put her face in her hands and start to cry. “Since Christmas.” She hiccupped behind her fingers.

Noah stood and walked a few feet away. He stared at the opposite wall, not daring to look at her. “Does he live here?”

“No, in Jefferson. At least for a little while longer.” She sniffed. “I never meant to hurt you, Noah. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I went to that Christmas party by myself, and he was there too, and he helped me get home. It was completely innocent at first …” she stammered and repeated, “I never meant for it to happen.”

“He’s a coworker, then?”

“Of sorts.” Her answer was short.

He prodded her. “Of sorts?”

“He got hired last summer to do maintenance work at the courthouse and Jefferson’s government buildings. My office is connected directly to the utility closet—he’s a good man, extremely creative and hardworking, and it just happened.” Laura had pulled her hands from her reddened face. “He’s moving around doing odd jobs for a year ’til he settles down. He’s a surfer, and he’s leaving soon …” She hesitated and then added, “He wants me to go with him.”

A truck could’ve run Noah over at that moment, and he wouldn’t have noticed. He was dumbstruck. How did he not see this coming? She had been distant and argumentative over the past half year, sure, but he didn’t have a clue as to when their dynamic had changed.

“So now instead of aiming for a mansion and being mayor of Homestead, you’re going to live the van life and surf every day?”

Laura laughed. “I love him, Noah. I know it sounds crazy because it does to me. It’s nothing like I thought I wanted, but I do want it. I love him. And he’s crazy about me.”

This declaration knocked the wind out of him for a moment. Finally, he asked, “What’s the lucky guy’s name?”

“Declan.” Laura gave him a watery smile and wiped more black mascara tears from her cheeks. “He inherited his uncle’s old surf shop in Hawaii last month, and he’s itching to get to work on it. My last day at the courthouse is Friday. We fly out Saturday morning.”

“Why did you even come to that last meeting at the B&B? You had to have already given your notice, right?” Noah asked, sitting back down across from her and motioning for her to do the same.

“Appearances, and then I just got triggered,” she answered with another shrug. “Rita Jo and Kara are the nosiest people in town. They were determined that you’d propose and I’d move back here, and they started getting suspicious when I stopped visiting so much. Rumors are the bread and butter in small towns, so I had to be careful until Declan and I figured out how we truly felt about each other before dropping this nuke of a talking point for the town to sink its teeth in.”

“Did you tell your mama?” Noah asked. “She deserves to know that you are leaving Texas.”

“I’m going up there when I leave here.” She sighed. “She’s going to think I’m crazy, but that’s the way she’s always seen me.”

“I know y’all have your differences, but she really loves you. You’re all she’s got.”

“I know.” Laura sniffed. “I promise I’m gonna tell her. I’ll call too, and maybe she will come visit me.”

“I think she’d like that. Alright, let’s sit down and eat these sandwiches you brought.” Noah changed the subject.

He and Laura were over. She was in love with someone else, and Noah was free to think about anyone he wanted. His mind raced, and he tried his best to tamper it down.

“You know I won’t ever forget you showing up to the house the day after Granddaddy died. You had your hair pulled back with a little blue ribbon. And you had spilled some of the crockpot of chili you were carrying on the front of your shirt. You could’ve spit fire, but I always thought you were the prettiest girl in town, even with half a crockpot of chili on your shirt.” Noah smiled at the memory.

Laura stopped mid-bite and looked up at Noah. “I thought you were such a nerd.”

“Well, you weren’t wrong. If your mama hadn’t sent you up there with food for me, I don’t know if you would’ve ever given me the time of day.”

“You grew on me,” Laura said. “You were kind and goofy. And you had a butler. The younger me fell for you real quick.”

“I want this to end on good terms. I want us to still be friends. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

Laura laid her other hand on top of his. “You aren’t losing anything, Noah. You’ll always be my friend.”

“Remember helping me freeze all the casseroles and stack them in that tiny little freezer after the funeral?” he asked. “That was the beginning of our friendship.”

“I’m sure there’s probably still some green bean casserole ice cubes wedged in the back even today.”

“You may be right.” Noah’s heart was lighter than it had been in years.

He hadn’t lost Laura as a friend. He had gained something in this moment of truth. It seemed like a weight had been lifted from her as well. “That meant the world to me, Laura. How you helped me navigate through all of that—the funeral stuff you figured out, and all the smallest details you helped me work through. I hate we are ending quite this way, but I appreciate what we’ve had.”

“Me too.” Laura looked like she was about to cry again. “There was a time in our relationship where part of the reason I was with you was because of your inheritance. I know that’s bad to say, but I needed to tell you. Something in me told me I could set everything right if we got married back then. I thought it’d make me happy. I just didn’t want to be a Henton anymore in this damn town.”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. All is forgiven.” Noah stood again and held out his hand.

Laura looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Let’s dance.”

Laura stared up at Noah. “Are you serious?”

“The first time I ever brought you into the bookshop, we danced to something playing on that little black camping radio Granddaddy had. I want us to dance to it one last time, as friends.”

“If we weren’t breaking up, I would almost think this was romantic.” Laura smiled as she took Noah’s hand and stood.

“Declan has nothing to worry about,” Noah said as he switched on the radio when they walked past and then pulled her into his arms. A Randy Travis song came through the static.

“Did you stay with me just because of my inheritance? You can be honest now.”

“That wasn’t all of it. I was pissed when you gave the Carter house up for a school to move into, sure. But the house and the cars weren’t all of it. You made me believe in myself. You saw me how I wanted to see myself.”

“I saw you as the girl with the blue ribbon in her hair, who walked a mile and a half to bring chili to me. I still sometimes see you like that. That’s when I fell for you.”

“When did you fall out of love with me?” Her question stilled his heart for a moment.

When did I stop caring for Laura in that way?

“I don’t really know, Laura. I’m sorry, but I can’t really pinpoint it.”

“That’s okay.” She sighed and rested her head on his chest as they swayed, his hand rubbing small comforting circles on her upper back.

They danced in silence for a bit before talking again, holding each other and letting their bodies say their farewells with the last embrace.

“Thank you for this,” Laura finally said against the front of his shirt.

“For what?” Noah asked as he looked down at the top of her head.

“For not screaming at me and going berserk. I have dreaded telling you for weeks now.”

“The worrying was punishment enough, then, for you not telling me sooner. I’ve only had friendly breakups, and I intend to keep it that way. I know that some of us aren’t so lucky.”

“Don’t even say his name,” Laura warned.

“I didn’t,” Noah stated simply.

Laura held on to Noah even tighter. “I swear he stalks me sometimes. Anytime I’m in Homestead, I can feel his eyes on me.”

“Jack Reynolds knows not to mess with you since the day that you put him in his place. And the sheriff backed you up on it.”

“I know, I just don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.”

“Well, you won’t have to worry about him soon enough. You better remember to pack sunscreen, a whole suitcase of it. You’ll fry out there in that island sun.”

Laura threw back her head and giggled. “That’s what Declan said.”

A flicker of movement flashed in the window, and Noah could’ve sworn he saw Sam’s face through the glass, but when he blinked, she was gone. Laura said something Noah didn’t quite catch, and he shook his head and looked back at her face. “You’re a million miles away right now, Noah.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s the redhead, ain’t it? Do you like her?”

“She hasn’t done anything wrong, so please don’t bring her into our mess.”

“I had hoped you liked her, so it would soften the blow when I told you. Or make me look a little less like a villain in the situation.” Laura seemed to study him when he didn’t answer, and then went on. “I hope you find your person, Noah, whether it’s her or some other woman. I really want you to be happy—as happy as I am.”

Laura leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before stepping away to grab her purse and coat from the back room. “I’ll come by tomorrow morning to get my stuff from your place if that’s alright. I’m gonna stay with Mama tonight.”

“She’d like that,” Noah agreed and walked her to the door.

“Thank you again, Noah, I’m sorry how this all turned out.”

“Love makes one want to do crazy things. There’s no need to apologize anymore. Tell your mama hello for me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Noah stood at the front door after Laura left for what seemed like minutes, just staring through the glass and into the distance. In a matter of hours, plans for his whole life had changed.

He should call Sam. No, he shouldn’t. He was torn between wanting to talk to her and feeling like he should wait till Laura told everyone she wanted to and had left town before he talked to Sam.

He walked back to the reading area and eased down into Sam’s chair and chuckled. Laura had sat in Nibbler’s chair the whole time they talked and had not sniffled or sneezed one time. Thinking of Nibbler brought Sam back in his mind, and he wondered what she was doing at that very moment. He could’ve sworn he saw her in the window, but it must’ve been his imagination.

His thoughts were a jumbled mess, going from his grandfather to Laura and then Sam and the way she had looked at him when he had caught her that day when she tripped. After a while, he stood back up and started his end-of-day routine of switching everything off for the night. As he finished in the back and started across the front room, a memory popped into his mind. He saw Samantha standing there, wrestling with all her baggage and her dog straining his leash to get a whiff of Noah. She looked both helpless and determined somehow. He remembered wanting to strangle Jack Reynolds that night, but looking back now, he was grateful Jack had been an ass and made her walk.

Since he lived right next door to Justine in the same trailer park, staying on the futon downstairs would be his best move. It would give Laura and Justine a bit more privacy tonight, and he’d be distracted driving anyway. He was about to open the door to go to the speakeasy when the landline rang.

It was one of his vendors from the Dallas area, and he sounded excited. “I bought out the last remnants of a secondhand bookstore that had to close its doors. I’ve got a box with about fifty historical romances and at least thirty moderns. Are you interested? They are all in pristine condition. If you are, I can ship them to you on Monday.”

“Yes, definitely. What else did you get?” Noah asked.

“There’s about a hundred cowboy romances, mostly from bestselling authors,” he answered.

“If there’s a cowboy on the cover, it will sell in Texas, so I’ll take them too,” Noah said. Maybe Sam would agree to write reviews on cowboys as well as her normal historical romances. It seemed like everything turned his thoughts toward her and he couldn’t do a thing about it.

When the call ended, Noah had to talk himself out of calling the Rose Garden or just swinging by. It was too late for either one. He’d scare the old ladies to death at that hour. He realized he had never gotten Sam’s cell phone number, but maybe that was a good thing. He lay down on the futon downstairs and stared at the floor joists above him, wondering what Sam was doing at that exact moment, and he thought about exactly how and what he would say when he told her about what had happened that evening.

When he had changed the store times, he had called Kathleen instead of being truthful to Sam. It was taking the coward’s way out, trying to please Laura without directly hurting Sam. Now that Laura was out of his life, he was going to do this right if given the chance to, and so he lay there on his back until he fell asleep with Sam still on his mind.

Noah searched Rose Garden as he drove past, and didn’t see hide nor hair of any of its inhabitants, and in a few minutes, he pulled up to his trailer just as Laura came out of her mother’s trailer. She wore Justine’s terry cloth robe wrapped tightly against the morning chill. The two of them worked in silence as they gathered what few belongings Laura had left over the years at Noah’s place. She had brought in his stuff and set it on the sofa. Two minutes after she left, a soft knock rapped at the door. Laura’s mother, Justine, stood on his doorstep with a plate of cookies in her hands and a mournful look on her face.

“I had to bring these over. Oh, Noah, I am so sorry,” she said with a trembling chin.

Noah stood to the side and motioned her inside. “Come on in. Are those peanut butter?”

Justine nodded. “Yes, they are. I know they are your favorite …” She wiped at her eyes with the tail of her apron and stood in the middle of Noah’s living room like a guilty man in court for his judgment day. “Laura told me everything last night. I could barely sleep. My baby is finally leaving me. I knew deep down this day was coming, and then she did you wrong, Lord, after all you’ve been through—” Justine squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “The only consolation is that she seems happy, and there’s a part of me that is so relieved to see my baby finally happy, but I just …” she stammered, “I hate how this all happened. You are a good man, Noah Carter, you deserve the world, and you are worthy of so much better than to be treated a fool.”

“It’s alright, Justine. All’s well that ends well. You really have nothing to apologize for. We ended up on a good note after all. I was just about to make a pot of coffee. Let me get it going, and we can have cookies with our coffee,” he assured her on his way to the kitchen. “Laura’s and my relationship died in its sleep years ago. I think it actually came as a relief to both of us to know we felt the same way about it. I’m not hurting, so neither of you have anything to be sorry for, I promise.”

Justine set the cookies on the narrow coffee table and eased down on the end of the sofa as the coffeepot started spitting. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. I’m glad that she valued our friendship enough to be honest with me before she left.” Noah didn’t care to talk any more about Laura. He had woken up that morning ready to let it all go. “Now tell me, did you finish those last books you got at the store?”

“Not quite yet,” she answered and pulled a couple of tissues from her pocket that she must’ve squirreled away before walking over. “I’ve been putting my feet up after my shift at the grocery store every evening, and binge-watching Justified .”

“James Lee Burke for reading and Raylan Givens for watching. You have good taste.” Noah chuckled as he pulled two mugs down from the cabinet above the toaster.

“I’m a woman who knows what she likes.” Justine laughed. “You are not pretending to be fine to make me feel better, are you? That would be so like you.”

He filled one mug and then the next from the coffeepot as it was still brewing, the dripping coffee sizzling as he handed one to her on the couch and went back for his. “No, ma’am, I am not pretending. Laura and I ended things the best we could, so there’s no hard feelings. It’s alright, Ms. Henton.”

“Don’t call me that. I’m just Justine.” She blew on the top of the mug and took a sip as Noah laughed. “I’m glad you are a good enough man to not react harshly. Lord have mercy! I remember her coming home covered in bruises after breaking things off with Jack. I still blame that boy for making her go against me for so long. I tried to come between them when she went back, and that was the first time she told me that she never wanted to see me again.”

Laura had never told Noah about the bruises, or anything about Jack being physically violent with her. Noah knew Jack had a temper. The whole town knew that, but this was sickening news to him. In his thoughts Sam flickered past the anger, but he swore if Jack touched Sam, he would bury the man.

“Laura never told me how Jack treated her. I would’ve beat down his door if I had known.” Noah wondered what else Laura had hidden. “Did y’all have a good chat last night?”

“She apologized for all the times when she was downright bitchy to me. And promised to call me every single Sunday afternoon. And she’s happy and in love with this surfer boy,” Justine answered. “I feel like old prayers I had forgotten I had prayed have finally been answered.”

“Maybe you can fly to Hawaii next Christmas,” Noah suggested.

“Laura suggested that too, but I’ve never been on a plane. I might do something stupid.”

Noah finished off his first cookie and picked up a second one. “You’d be fine. Anyone able to cook like you is smart enough to figure out an airport. What season of Justified are you watching?”

“Just about to start season two,” she answered.

“That’s a good one,” Noah said. “What time do you go in today?”

“I go in at three p.m. for the early dinner shift.”

“Let’s watch an episode, I’m not opening the store till noon. I could use some time off.”

“I would like that very much, Noah.” The older woman smiled warmly. “Like I said, you are a good man.”

“And you, Justine, are a good person and a great mother. You aren’t losing me in this breakup either,” he said and saw her eyes prick with tears again. They watched in silence side by side on the couch and drank the whole pot of coffee by the end of the second episode.