Believe In Us (Servite Academy #3)

Chapter 6

Chapter

Six

JADE

F or the next week, I’m drowning in a deep pool of schoolwork and playing catch-up. The night I spent with Bass after Ace’s party is now just a distant memory. Things have been pretty out of sorts lately, everything around me is just not making any sense. Scar has been acting stranger than usual. Things between her and Ace seemingly get better before turning for the worst, again. Everyone else is still pissed at Scarlett and keeping their distance from us. Except Stella, although she’s also been acting strange, I know she is dealing with some of her own shit as the anniversary of her mother’s death approaches. Not to mention how her asshole of an uncle, Stephan Silver, has been requesting her attendance at his house every weekend.

As for Sebastian, well he’s been hounding me day and night with meaningless texts claiming he misses me and wants to see me. Totally out of fucking character if you ask me. I’ve ignored his messages for as long as I could and now only send half assed responses when unable to stand the continuous badgering .

The night after we got back from Torment, and the little spectacle that played out in front of me, things took an unprecedented turn. He seemed to be put off by the whole situation, not really knowing how to react to what he almost witnessed, but what those men almost did to me didn’t scare me, not really. What frightened me most was the look in his eyes as he watched me, like I was a porcelain doll about to shatter to pieces after being played with. I’m not a doll, especially not one made of such a fragile material, chipping at the slightest of impacts.

I don’t need his pity. I don't need him feeling guilty about what could have happened had he not shown up, which I’m sure is the reason he’s been checking up on me. It’s not like the great, all powerful Sebastian Silver is genuinely interested in spending time with a girl unless he’s shoving his dick into her, repeatedly and forcefully. His reputation precedes him, and I’m not judging. I mean who am I to deem him a certified manwhore, not when my own isn’t as pristine as one would hope. However, I’m not stupid either. Not some hussy falling for his sweet talk and promises of a good time. I know for a fact he's a real good time , but all these mixed feelings and interfering signals coming off from him are not something I want to dive into. Not now, not ever. I have enough underlying emotional Daddy issues and shitty male baggage to last me a lifetime, while he’s the poster child for being emotionally unavailable and brutal.

So it’s best that we do not continue to play this game of cat and mouse we both seem to keep falling into. It’s best we just rack it up to temporary insanity or permanent madness. Either way it’s packed up nicely, locked in a fortified metal box, and shipped off to the middle of fucking nowhere never to seen again.

At least I hope that’s the case.

“You were the one who was always supposed to be there for me. Because in the end, all we really have is each other, and now I can’t even count on you.” Scarlett stared at me with a look of apathy, as if what I was saying meant nothing to her. While I on the other hand was utterly consumed with despair not understanding what the hell could possibly be going through her head at that precise moment.

“It is what it is, Jade,” she uttered, almost annoyed by our exchange, “The fact that you thought I’d always be there, that you believed things would never change, goes to show how na?ve you really are.” Naive really, said the girl who came here trying to make me believe we were going to have this happily ever after together, always. “Roman was right to leave when he did. He was a realist, knew that things for us were never going to change for the better. We’d always be who we were born to be and were destined to make the same mistakes as our parents. He just got out before he did. It’s not too late for you Jade, to ensure you don’t make the same mistakes as your father, trusting a woman he had no business trusting.”

I once was the one who told her that we were destined to suffer for our parents' sins, bound to make the same mistakes, and it was she who told me we were not the product of their wrongs, we were their retribution. We were to become so much more than they ever would, that together we’d bring forth a reckoning. Now look at what she’s made of us.

I started laughing hysterically, the only way I knew how to deal with the situation I was in was to make a mockery of it. Tears endlessly flowed out from my eyes as I crouched down on the edge of the tub, turning to face her,.“I’d rather make his mistakes a hundred times over, than to fall for that devil’s tricks.” I reached a hand out as I ran my fingers delicately over her cheek. “You once said we were foolish to believe that anything could come between us. What’s changed?”

She closed her clear blue eyes, that hid the daunting truth of her actions, refusing to look up at me, cowardly hiding behind the tears pooling in them as she whispered, “Everything.”

Everything.

That’s the last word I heard whispered from my sister's lips as I turned my back and walked away from her, leaving her to drown away her selfish sorrows in the bottom of her bathtub. Her pale skin covered in bruises and bloody scrapes were nothing compared to how fucking broken she looked to be on the inside. She was a fucking disaster sitting there bathing in her own blood that dripped from the scratches marring her body as she spewed continuous lies and false statements at me.

Though she chose her words carefully, she knew how I would react, she understood they would push me away and ruin what we had. And yet she chose to destroy our relationship. Whether it is because of some pathetic sacrifice she keeps telling herself she needs to make to protect me, she laid her own grave, and this time I won’t be there to drag her out of it.

Enough is enough, and if she can’t find it in herself to trust me—her sister, best friend, and confidant—then I don’t want her to be a part of my life. In the end everyone leaves me, but this time it’s me who is walking away first.

I replay our fight over and over in my head. The blatant lies I listened to as she aimlessly tried to convince me, convince herself, that she meant the words she was relentlessly spewing. In real Jade fashion, I’m drowning them out—burying them deep down in the bottom of a bottle of liquor—the way I know best. Thanks to Daddy Dearest, there is one thing I’m good at. I bet wherever he is, he’s finally proud. I’m utterly alone and drunk off my ass, that’s all he ever wanted for his little girl.

There is only one other thing, usually hand in hand with the liquor, I’ve fallen victim to whenever I’ve recently felt alone. I run straight into the arms of the only soul out there who is possibly more damaged than I am. Because he saw right through me since the first time we were together. He knew that as much as I believed I needed to be in control, what I really need is for someone to make me lose it. I need him to make me feel powerless, dominated, and resigned to the feelings he brings forth in me.

Nobody knows how to make me feel quite like Sebastian Silver.

Which is why the night of Scar’s eighteenth birthday, I agreed to go with Liam Walker. He’s sweet, cute, and so far has been nothing but nice to me. The complete opposite of Sebastian. Maybe that’s exactly what I need. Someone who won’t challenge me, who will allow me to be myself and won’t elicit the foreign feelings in me I want no part of. I hoped that showing up with him might let Sebastian know I’m not one of these chicks pining after him hoping to turn our casual fucks into anything more. I’m not looking for a commitment, not expecting anything from him or anyone after just a few harmless orgasms, even if they were the best I’ve ever had.

However, when I walked into the party, hanging onto Liam’s arm, the way Sebastian watched me from his spot across the room, his face morphing into one of those scary murderer costume masks, I knew it was a bad idea.

I shake the memory of his expression out of my mind as I rush down the cobblestone path toward the Silver’s beach house. I know Sebastian has been staying here the past few weeks. He’d been staying with Ace at his family’s beach house since the start of senior year, but since the first time we slept together at the cabin, and every time since then, we’ve come here for privacy. The ocean breeze welcomes me, sending a shivering coldness through me as its waves gently crash along the shore. The crescent in the sky does little to illuminate my path and surroundings, but I know my way around even in the bitter darkness of the night.

I slowly walk up the steps of the nautical yet eclectic beach cottage, holding onto one of the sandstone pillars of the porch to steady myself with one hand, a bottle of my favorite Bombay Sapphire Gin, my new drink of choice, in my other. Make that a half empty bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin. A quarter of it went down my throat, the other fourth may or may not be serving as my current perfume.

What can I say I’m sloppy when I drink.

I glare toward the entrance finding a large, ornate glass door with a white trim and blue hinges and handles. The house is dark but I can make out a shadow moving inside, illuminated by the bright light of the kitchen as it moves around the large space.

“Why the fuck am I here?” I murmur to myself in a muffled whisper as I turn around and head down the steps cursing my stupid decision to come here. But in my slightly intoxicated state, I falter slightly setting off the motion sensored light I was earlier able to evade. Fuck. I tip toe further down the steps hoping the shadow moving inside didn’t notice me lurking around but stop when I hear the front door creak open behind me.

“Jade?” he asks, his deep, husky rasp sending an icy chill through me that somehow sets my body ablaze. Sebastian’s voice is the epitome of seduction. Every letter elongated and made to sound breathless as he enunciates each syllable. It’s a fucking wet dream to hear him utter the simplest of phrases, not to mention how fucking bewitching it is to hear him mutter my name. “Jade is that you?” he asks again and my body involuntarily turns to face the sorcerer that calls upon it.

His eyes go dark as he watches me approach him, the smoky gray I’ve come to fantasize about now a deep onyx I’ve grown to need. Because the darkening of his eyes is the telltale sign of the possessive and dominating beast that emerges when I am near. My feral monster has come out to play, and once again the small submissive wolf deep inside me, one I never knew was there before he unleashed her, is hypnotized by her alpha.

I smirk wide at the thought and I know he senses what I’ve come for as grin equally as wicked appears on his perfect smug face. Because despite what I believe, he knows me so well.

His hair is the darkest shade of black and tousled in wet waves around his face. He’s dressed in nothing but a pair of dark gray sweats hung low on his hips showcasing the tantalizing muscles of his chest and abdomen, sparsely splattered with small splotches of ink, down to the indentation of his pelvic bone forming a perfect deep V shape disappearing behind the softest fabric.

I reach the top of the steps, just a mere two feet from where he stands just outside his door, the porch light above us now illuminating him and reflecting off his gray eyes making them appear almost transparent. Compared to him I must look like a mess dressed in my short teal and black patterned pajama bottoms and matching tank, my eyes red rimmed and glossy thanks to the gin and endless tears that have spewed out of them tonight.

Not to mention the pathetic gray fluffy slippers on my feet. I wiggle my toes and curse myself for not thinking this through before showing up here like this. Fuck my impulsivity. I didn’t even bother grabbing a sweater before running out of the quarter, but the liquor and lust filled look in his eyes sending a blazing heat through me overpowers the brisk cool air of this cold January night.

“What are you doing here Jade?” he asks, the tone in his voice sounding much colder as his smile all but dissipates. Fuck, he must have remembered how I’ve practically blown him off since that night we were here after Ace’s birthday party. A whole fucking week practically.

“I need somewhere to crash,” I blurt out without thinking, the voices in my head cursing me for being so impulsive. “I got in a fight with Scar and I fathom being anywhere near her right now.”

He nods in acceptance, after all he was the one who called me and told me what happened at the cabin and how Scarlett broke things off with Ace earlier today before I saw her.

“Why’d you come here?” he asks, and I’m honestly shocked I’m getting such resistance from him. If anything I guess I expected him to greet me with arms wide open, dick out, and drag me to his bed to have his way with me. Angry sex is our thing. I guess I need to piss him off.

I bring the bottle of gin to my lips taking a full swig before speaking, “Figured you were cheaper than a room in the sleaziest motel in the next town over not to mention a sure thing, but if you’re not game then I’ll make my way over. Maybe stop by Liam’s for a visit. I’m sure he’d spare me a corner on his bed if I asked nicely,” I wink at him as his eyes darken with fury and I know I’ve got him right where I want him. The only thing Sebastian hates more than a dig at his ego, is Liam’s name coming out of my mouth.

“The fuck you are. You won't be going anywhere near Liam Fuckhead Walker, especially not looking half naked and so goddamn fuckable.” His eyes trail over my body, starting with my fluffy slippers and moving up my long, toned legs, to the skin peeking out under my midriff baring top, and up to meet the dark green of my red rimmed eyes. The desire I see within his slate irises turns to worry as he notices how fucking torn up I must look.

“Then don’t just stand there and stare, pretty boy, pick me up and drag me to your bedroom. Have your way with me on the fucking kitchen floor Sebastian,” I inch closer to him, my hand splayed out over his bare chest, his heartbeat quickening under the soft skin of my cold, sweaty palm that trembles as I speak. “I need you to take me and make me forget how fucking pissed off I am.”

His eyes widen at the directness of my words and just when I think he’s going to reject me and send my semi-drunk ass away, he reaches a hand behind my neck, gripping me tightly and pulling me forward to meet his lips. Closing the distance between us, his lips are fucking greedy as they assault my mouth with a force I’ve never felt before. His teeth are clattering against mine, his tongue and piercing dancing around inside hitting every surface of my mouth. He tastes of citrus and spice, a slight hint of juniper mixed with earthy notes of pine. Like Christmas morning wrapped in one delicious, feral beast package. Clearly Tanqueray was his top shelf choice tonight.

He releases me for a moment just to shift me up into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist as I inhale deeply, out of breath from his delicious assault on me. “Once we step through that door, you’re never getting out of here Little Wolf,” he says, calling me by the nickname he’s determined to use every chance he gets. “ Because you're mine Jade Wolfe, and I don’t ever let go of what’s mine.”

I chuckle at the false promises of his words, even though a small part of me—like way, way deep down inside the darkest corner of my soul sitting and collecting cobwebs and dust—wishes every fucking word were true.

“I’m yours until I’m not Sebastian Silver, because I can never truly be, but that’s a can of worms I’m not so keen on opening tonight.” He takes that as an acceptance to his demand as he drags me inside just like I wanted.

My back slams against the front door as he shuts it harshly behind us pushing me into it with such force I'm afraid shards of glass are going to be deeply embedded into my skin when I pull away. The cold glass feels like ice against my bare neck and shoulders and the roughness of his palms gripping my ass make my pussy clench against him. Wearing nothing but a thong underneath the thin material of my shorts, my core rubbing against his bare abdomen, I’m about ready to come here and now.

Sebastian hauls me down the foyer, up the rounding staircase and down the hall in a matter of seconds, his mouth never once letting go of its hold on my lips. I have no idea how he managed to avoid crashing into everything in our path but figure it’s best not to ponder on the absurdities of anything other than him and his massive dick inside of me. As we reach the door of his bedroom, I realize I’ve kept my hands wrapped around his neck, the bottle of Bombay still tightly held in my hand. He kicks the door open startling me, the loud bang of it crashing down sends a shiver of fear down my spine awakening my senses.

“Going all caveman are we,” I mock, pulling my lips away from him and pushing against his chest as I jump out of his arms and back away.

Licking his lips he follows my movement, each sensual step he takes exciting me and I can’t help but smirk, getting so fucking turned on by his mere gaze on me. “You don’t know the half of it Wolf,” he growls.

My subconscious is doing cartwheels in my mind, mentally high fiving herself for what she knows is coming next. “Then show me Cupcake,” I joke, gaining me a curious glare and eyebrow raise. I figure I need a nickname for him since he’s so keen on using mine, and dare I say cupcakes are one of my favorite things. Well besides donuts but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.

“Cupcake?” he asks, baffled by the odd nickname I’ve come up with for him.

“Why not,” I say, shrugging my shoulders and twirling a loose strand of hair coyly around my finger. “You’re sweet, smell fucking delicious, and look so fucking lickable.” I run my tongue along my top lip as the words leave my mouth. “Not to mention they’re a favorite guilty pleasure of mine,” I add with a flirtatious wink.

His grin widens at my statement and action, sending a wave of desire to my most desperate parts. Okay I need him now. “First of all,” he growls, advancing toward me. “There is nothing sweet about me.” He continues to move forward, as I walk backward till the back of my knees hit the edge of his bed leaving me nowhere else to run. It’s exhilarating. The feeling of having nowhere to run. The anticipation of the carnal and erotic pounce he’s about to do. But he shocks me when he stops right before me. A bead of sweat drips down his forehead as his stone-gray eyes watch me fervently. “Second of all, I’ve got your cupcake right here,” he mutters hazily, my eyes descending to where his hand is grabbing his dick through the tight material of his sweats. “Come on over and lick the frosting Little Wolf, just like I know you like to.”

In the blink of an eye, almost by instinct, I’m ready to pounce like a rabid animal. I obey, strutting forward and reaching for what I want most, but he’s quick to yank my arm pulling me toward him, and holding me tight.

“Not so fast Jade,” he mutters loudly.

I shake my head not understanding his resistance. “You just said to come and get it…” The ravenous look in his eyes has me swallowing the rest of my rant.

“Drop to your fucking knees,” he commands, and all the blood instantly leaves my upper body coming together at my already throbbing pussy. The submissive wolf hidden deep inside me comes out to play as I obey his command, dropping to my knees before him, no questions asked as I lower my head, and stare down to the ground at his feet. I swear if I had a tail it’d be tightly tucked between my legs like a good little bitch.

He stands unmoving for a moment, nothing but the sound of his heavy breathing heard in the expanse of the room. His stance is domineering and cold, but the reaction within me is anything but. Molten lava courses through my veins, the anticipation of what comes next has me about ready to erupt.

I feel him move around me, the bed dipping as he settles down atop it. Suddenly, his hand is on me once again, grabbing my ponytail and tugging backward, my head straining back, my eyes now on him as he crouches forward. His lips are on my ear whispering huskily against me, his voice like the most wicked music to my fucking ears.

“You may be on your knees, but these stunning green stones will always be on me.” His free hand cups my chin as he rubs his thumb against my bottom lip. “I need to see what you look like when I’m fucking this sweet little mouth.” He shoves his thumb into my mouth and I eagerly start sucking, closing my eyes, and remembering the taste of him as I do.

Sebastian growls loudly behind me as he watches me. Standing he picks me up, and throws me roughly on the bed so I’m on all fours before him. I sit back on my knees breathing heavily, frightened, and so fucking aroused, as he stands there watching me without saying a goddamn thing. He struts toward me like a lion stalking his prey right before he is about to attack.

“Take your shirt off,” he commands, my body trembling with each daunting syllable .

I move to lift my shirt, my hands shaking in anticipation as I grab it by the hem and pull it over my head leaving me only in my shorts. His eyes widen at my naked torso before him, my nipples perky and hard, my pussy dripping wet as he licks his lips.

“Fuck, Jade, your tits are fucking perfect.” His fingers reach out to trace my neck, dipping into the skin of my collar bone and trailing down between the dip in between my breasts. He slowly circles my nipples, squeezing my sensitive nub between his thumb and pointer finger making me moan out in pleasure.

“Bass,” I yelp, my eyes closing as the sensation travels through me.

“Get on all fours,” he growls, and I once again obey, setting my hands on the edge of the mattress and raising myself to my knees. He stands beside the bed, running his calloused palm down my bare back, and down to the waistband of my shorts, taking his time his fingers caressing every inch of heated skin further arousing me to the point of near combustion. Then suddenly in one swift motion he tugs the thin material and tears it in half leaving me in nothing but a lace thong, my ass up in the air feeling the coldness of the AC.

“Fuck,” he groans, sounding slightly irritated, as his hands hover over me not touching me, but teasing me as they linger above making me want to push up just to feel them against me. “I thought I could hold off, wait till your pretty little mouth sucked me dry, until you all but begged me to touch you.” He moves behind me, gripping my ass tightly and pulling me toward him, his rough fingers digging deep into my soft skin. He lowers his mouth down to me, grazing my cheeks with the slight stubble adorning his chiseled jaw, scratching my already sensitive flesh, and sending an electric current straight to my fucking pussy as he pushes his nose against the drenched material of my thong. “But this fucking scent.” He inhales sharply, my skin prickling with goosebumps as my pussy clenches in need. He inhales a deep breath once again. I in turn hold my breath, closing my eyes before I come from just the sheer thought of what he’s doing. “It fucking drives me insane. You turn me into a carnivorous beast whose hunger isn’t satiated by any other taste. Only you. I need it all, all of you.”

My insides turn to mush at his admission, whether it’s lust, or an in the moment reaction to his dick wanting in, I can’t help but foolishly wish his words were true. Bass is in fact a carnivorous beast, and because he doesn’t do anything half assed, he’s the worst of his kind. One who feasts on meekly minded prey, on the innocent, the gullible, on the lost little lambs. But I’m not a meek little lamb. I’m a fierce, wild wolf. And as much as I wish his words were true, as much as I need his feelings to be more, I can't fall victim like all the others before me, and fuck were there many. Sebastian Silver is a womanizer, a manwhore, and that’s saying it nicely. He’s a fuck them hard and rough and leave them heartbroken and wanting kind of guy.

And I’ve been left one too many times to fall for his enticing charm.

A loud smack rings in my ears, followed by a piercing sting felt against my skin snapping me out of my thoughts. My ass cheeks burn, surely red and imprinted with his searing palm. “Turn the fuck around, now!” he demands, and my body all but falls against the mattress as I turn over, my back and sensitive ass cheeks flat against the cool silk of his bed sheets. “Spread them open for me Little Wolf, show me that bare little cunt I fucking love.” I’m too fucking aroused to pay any attention to the four-letter word he mutters huskily, however I’m sure is just an involuntary reaction to the arousal coursing through his hardened dick I can see clearly through his sweats.

Nonetheless I do exactly as he says, my legs falling open allowing him to climb on the bed and settle between them. He grips the material of my thong quickly, tearing it to shreds like all the others, and I silently wonder why I even bother wearing them. Just when I think he’s going to use it once again to restrain my arms like he did that first time at the cabin, he throws it on the ground beside us.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Jade,” he mutters, his tone of voice slightly softening for an instant. I dare look him in the eyes, only to find them looking straight back at me. They’re a darker shade of gray, not yet black but also not their usual clear silver. Like a storm ridden sky right before the thunderous rain is about to fall down upon the land. Dark, ominous, and terrifying, yet exhilarating to a ceraunophile, and calming to those who enjoy the sound. But the lust is evident, I can see the need in them, I can feel the desire radiating from his dark irises. But also sense something completely foreign as I watch him watch me. And it’s almost too much to handle. I quickly look away, trying to hide from their hypnotizing power, but his hand forcefully comes to my chin gripping it and pulling me to stare directly at him.

“Eyes on me Jade, always on me.”

I nod afraid of what might come out of my mouth if I dare open it. It’s almost comical how in any other situation I’m a fucking savage. A bitch who can’t keep her fucking mouth shut and has a goddamn opinion for everything. Yet here as I lay helplessly beneath him, I’m a fucking submissive mute.

He releases his hold on my chin and I watch him reach over to the waist of his sweats pulling the drawstring until it pops out of the elastic band. He raises a brow at me silently telling me what he’s about to do and I immediately follow his unspoken order, raising my hands over my head and bringing them together.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, the corners of his mouth slightly turning upward. He quickly ties my wrists together with the white drawstring, my body already convulsing as I try and clench my throbbing pussy to ease the pain of my arousal. Strong hands move down my waist and across my thighs, gripping them and pushing them open wider. He lowers his mouth to my lips blowing softly against me, sending a shiver of need to my toes as I curve them up, gripping the silk beneath them. My insides are screaming in need, begging him to take what he needs what I crave to give.

“Bass, please I need you to touch me,” I beg, inwardly cringing at how fucking pathetic I sound, but honestly not giving a fuck as long as it gets me what I want. I came here to forget the fight I had with my sister, to forget how utterly fucking alone I am in this world. And the pain he likes to instill in me, the feel of what it’s like to give myself to him in this way is the perfect outlet to help me forget.

Bass runs his fingers through my slick, wet folds, my pussy desperately aching to clench around him, to fucking squeeze his fingers were they to enter when suddenly, his hand comes down on me smacking against my clit in a fast, electrifying motion. My blood rushes to my sensitive, swollen nub and I can’t keep in the sounds that escape me.

“Fuck, yes,” I moan loudly as my back curves off the mattress, my arms digging into the bedsheets beneath me.

I can see his eyes darken as my body convulses in exhilarating pain. The obscurity in them is riveting and only makes me crave his touch, whether it be rough, punishing, or gentle.

Maybe I like the pain, the darkness. Maybe I need it to feel whole, to feel alive. And maybe he needs to instill it in other’s before it consumes him.