Believe In Us (Servite Academy #3)

Chapter 30

Chapter

Thirty

JADE

I know you’re pregnant with our baby.

His confession rings loudly in my ears, slightly muffled by the violent beating of my heart, the blazing fire I feel coursing in my veins, and the blood I’m almost certain flows endlessly out of them. The flames which trail down my throat, threaten to consume every last bit of sanity that remains in my mind, and makes my vision blur with the tears swelling in my sockets. I must be hearing things, it’s the only logical explanation, because there is no way in hell he’s figured this out.

I’ve been so fucking careful, calculated my every move to make sure I didn’t slip up at any point. I’ve kept my partying to a minimum to hide my lack of alcohol intake, I’ve managed to suppress the urge to vomit, at least holding it in until I’m in the privacy of my own bathroom. Hell, even my food cravings which have been bizarre are hidden by my usual, unquenchable appetite. There is nothing explaining how he figured it out.

I need to play it off. I know I came to the mind-blowing conclusion that I need to tell him. I’m not going to be able to hide it for much longer, but now that he’s admitted he knows, I’m suddenly absolutely terrified. I can’t do this, I need to get out of here. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Sebastian,” I anxiously call out, grabbing my G-string and leggings from around my ankles, and trying but failing to pull them on. My hands are shaky, my fingers suddenly coated in butter as I lose my grip on my clothes.

“You don’t have to hide it any more Jade, stop pretending it isn’t real. You’re pregnant. It’s mine, just fucking admit it already,” he yells out, overly exasperated with the situation.

“Now you have honestly lost your goddamn mind Sebastian. I’m not fucking pregnant, I’m not having your baby, just shut the fuck up already,” I mutter, my voice quivering with a mix of anger and panic. “Just stop saying that.”

“No I won’t, and you know why?” he asks rhetorically, yet I humor him with a response. His body shifts completely toward me, his dick still free and erect, taunting me with a drop of pre-cum glistening along the tip of his head. The car is suddenly suffocating, I need to get out.

I’ve managed to pull my leggings up and have a hand on the door handle ready to run out of here if he doesn’t give up this nonsense. “What, Sebastian? What can possibly give you the impression that I’m pregnant. Sure we’ve fucked, countless times, but we’ve always used a condom and besides I’m on birth control…”

“God dammit Jade, stop fucking playing. I know okay, and I’m so tired of you acting like it isn’t true. You won’t drink, you’ve puked in front of me on several occasions, including just earlier today. You eat like a fucking linebacker, not to mention your tits, which I admit have always been perfect and perky, have now doubled in size.” I gasp in shock at his attention to detail.

“So fucking what, none of that means that I’m pregnant. Maybe I’ve quit drinking, maybe I’m sick, or have an eating disorder. Maybe my body has fully developed into that of an adult woman now that I’m eighteen.”

“Fuck Jade,” he yells, frightening me as he slams his fist into the steering wheel, making the car horn blare loudly as he his fist presses against it. “I know it, okay? I know because we haven’t always used a condom,”

“What the hell are you talking about, yes we have!”

“No, not when you came to me after getting into the argument with Scar.” Memories of the night my sister lied to me, pushing me away before she ran off to work for Wesley, came flooding back to me. I was distraught, I was fucking angry, and drunk, but I remember clearly I sought him out. I came onto him, practically begged me to take me and fuck me so damn rough I’d forget everything I’d just endured. The pain, the emptiness, the feeling of complete hopelessness. However, it’s nothing compared to what I feel right now.

Fuck the condom. I swear to God Bass, or whoever the fuck is out there judging us, if you pull your cock out of me I will fucking bite that shit off of you.

There it is the exact words that left my mouth when he realized he’d slid in without any barrier. It’s no wonder that night felt like no other.

“No, you should have stopped me, you should have realized that was fucking insane of me to say,” I shout back, hitting against his chest.

“I didn’t want to,” he utters under his breath, “I decided it was best if I didn’t.”

“Excuse me, what the hell does that mean?” I ask, confused by his sudden change of mood. His head is lowered and he seems slightly uneasy, as his jaw ticks in response.

“I did it intentionally,” he states, so fucking calmly, and I know I must have heard wrong.

“What?” I ask, once again in disbelief.

“I knew we didn’t have a condom... ”

“You knew I’d get pregnant?” I cry out, disbelieving of what he’s said.

“I hoped that it would happen.”

His last response blows my fucking mind. I yank the car door open, and the moment my feet hit the cold pavement beneath me, I run. I run as fast as I can directly toward the beach ahead of us. I hear the car door slam behind me but I’m already too far gone. I assume it took him a while to slip into his jeans as they were currently wound around his ankles, but now I can hear his heavy footsteps approaching. My eyes however, are focused on the beach house in the distance.

I keep going, luckily I’m one of those girls blessed with good stamina, combine that with the adrenaline running through my veins and I’m fucking sprinting across the sand, with only one goal in mind. To get as far away from Sebastian Silver as I possibly can.

It’s useless though, the six foot four, two hundred pound plus beast is quick to catch up to me. Suddenly I’m hauled up off the ground, my legs still kicking as my body begins to wriggle in his hold. His arms wrap tightly around my waist as he holds me against his chest. I continue to fight against him pushing backward into him but it’s useless. His erection, which feels like it’s trying to force its way into my ass, is a clear indication of that.

“Put me down Sebastian or so help me God I will fucking kill you!”

“You can try, baby, many have and failed, and trust me you won’t be able to.”

“Don’t test me Sebastian,” I shout, kicking my legs back hoping to strike him where it counts, but he’s quicker and stealthier than me. He spins me in his arms, pressing my chest against his as his mouth comes down on me. He swallows my screams as his mouth fights against mine for control, but I’m too overwhelmed. I can’t give into the feeling, to the ecstasy I usually feel when his lips meet mine. His words ring in my ear, vibrating through me and making me tremble in fear .

I hoped it would happen.

Who the fuck does he think he is? How was that his decision to make?

I try to bang my hands against his chest, fighting with everything in me to get away. That’s when I feel it, feel him. His thick erection presses into me, all of it, completely bare. I grab his dick in my hand tugging it as I bite his lip. “Fuck,” he shouts, releasing me with a shove. I fall back against the sand, staring up at him with tears of anger welling up in my eyes.

Blood drips from his mouth, but he trails his tongue out along his bottom lip to wipe it clean. My eyes roam over his body from head to toe, his naked bottom half right in my line of view, his dick practically staring straight at me. He never put his pants on. He ran naked after me.

“Jade, please. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you.” He steps forward, but I use my hands to lift myself and crawl backwards away from him with a sure look of terror in my eyes. Not because I’m afraid of him, but because I fear the realness of the look he’s giving me in return.

He tugs his hair through his fingers, turning and staring up into the cloud brimmed sky above us as he curses aloud, again. I use the distraction to stand and rush toward the beach house that is only a few yards away. I continue to run, my feet heavy in the sand, but this time he doesn’t run after me. He simply struts at an even pace in my direction.

My feet ache when I kick off my sandals, the soles of my bare feet scraping against rough sand as I push through. My lungs burn as the cold wind rushes through them, the tears swelling in my eyes being swallowed down my throat which threatens to close up. I reach the house well before him, but quickly realize why he was suddenly in no rush. The door is locked. What the hell was I thinking, of course it would be locked. I should have ran back toward the academy, or further along the beach instead of running to his house. I pull on the doorknob, twisting and turning it hoping it will somehow magically loosen up and unlock. I know how to pick a lock but currently have no bobby pins or anything that would allow me to do so. Besides this is some weird old school lock with an antique shaped keyhole, it wouldn’t work.

I turn to him with a look of sorrow flashing across my eyes, making him increase his speed, rushing up the steps to meet me. “Jade,” he whispers, out of breath as he reaches past me to unlock the door. As soon as he does I push past, rushing inside, up the stairs, and directly to his bedroom down the hall. There’s no escaping him, no use in hiding from him, he’ll follow me wherever I go, he’ll catch me anywhere I run. Right now, all I can think about is that I need to get to the bathroom.

I barely make it in time, actually I don’t, as I vomit along the tiled floor, only half of the contents of my stomach making it into the toilet bowl. Again for the third time in less than twenty-four hours, I hurl profusely on my knees, only this time nothing comes out. Nothing but spit and clear phlegm leave my mouth, after all I’m now empty inside. I’m kneeling before the toilet, my body bent forward as sobs escape me for the second time today. I hear him before I feel him, stepping inside and dropping to his knees beside me. Then I feel him, his hand moving to tug lightly against my hair, pulling it back and away from my face. He fastens it with a hair tie, though I’m not sure where he found one, before I feel him shift away as the sink faucet starts running before shutting off. A cold towel is then placed behind my neck cooling the ache that I feel within me.

“There is no use in hiding it, in hiding from me Jade. I’m here and I don’t plan on going anywhere.” A pang of guilt hits me like another wave of nausea when I realize how selfish of me it was to keep this from him. What must he have felt not knowing if I was truly pregnant or not, living with constant thoughts of what if? He’s seemed so out of sorts lately and this is probably why, but at the same time, I feel overwhelmingly furious that he purposefully did this with an end goal in mind. How dare he think I was ready to become a mother, how dare he impregnate me on purpose?

“This wasn’t your fucking call to make Sebastian,” I mutter, waving my hand back to push him off of me, “You are not a fucking God, you can’t control everything. I’m not yours to control.”

His fingers rub soft circles along the back of my neck, applying a slight bit of pressure against the tension knots along my spine. “I don’t want to control you Jade…”

“Bullshit,” I laugh out loud, moving to stand as I rush toward the sink. I let the water run cold before splashing my face and rinsing out the bitter taste left in my mouth.

He stands to follow me, his gray eyes watching me through the mirror as his body hovers over me, caging me against the vanity. “I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t run away, like you always seem to do when shit gets real. When things don’t fit into the plan you’ve created for yourself, when they become too tangible, you run.” His hands come to rest on my shoulders, the rough skin of his fingertips tracing along my collarbones and around my neck, as his eyes remain glued to mine. It’s like I’m paralyzed by his eager gaze, unraveling everything within me which I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. Layer by layer he’s uncovering my weaknesses, shining light on my numerous flaws, but worst of all exposing my deepest fears.

“You freak out, get scared, and run. You’ve done it every time we’ve fucked, you did it when you saw your brother, you did it again just now. You run Jade, like the little scared wolf you are, but what you don’t realize is I’m done chasing you. I’ve decided that this time, I’m going to catch you, throw you in a fortified, gilded cage, and never let you go.” His right hand wraps tightly around my neck, sending a roaring wave of desire through me like the ones currently slamming against the shore right outside the window. I can hear them, splashing and rumbling against the sand, like my stomach currently does. Just like my stomach is in dire need of food, the horny fucking beast in me demands to be fed.

Yet I can’t get myself to accept it. My mind won’t let my body give into the feeling and submit to the pleasure it is surely bound to revel in. I turn to face him, my body still tightly closed in and pressed against the vanity, “It’s not your choice to make Sebastian, what if I never wanted to be caught? What gives you the right to do so anyway?” I turn back around, laughing at myself as I stare at my grisly reflection in the mirror. Bulging, tired eyes, dark circles, a blotchy complexion. I’m terrifying, my exterior finally matching what I feel like inside. “I never wanted to have kids, I,” he watches me, his eyes softening as a flash of guilt glimmers within them. “You took that choice from me all because you were tired of me turning you down. Your pride, your ego, couldn’t fucking take it so you thought you’d tie me down and make me yours. Where is my say in this Bass?”

He grips my shoulders, turning me back around to face him as he moves into me, pressing my lower back into the bathroom vanity, lowering his forehead to mine. “I took it into my own hands because I knew you never would. You self-sabotage Jade, I can see it every time we’re together, every time you feel the slightest bit of anything, happiness, sadness, anger, you turn the situation into something meaningless you can control.” He rubs his nose against mine, and I can feel the sorrow within his grim heart. At least that’s what it used to be, an empty shell filled with nothing but hatred and a false sense of obligation, though now, it’s permeated with the same foreign emotions I’ve recently become accustomed to. He inhales a deep breath, closing his eyes as his tongue comes out to graze my mouth. “I’m tired of watching you question how you feel about me because you're too damn scared to admit it out loud, to take a chance.”

“It won’t work, Sebastian,” I whisper, against his lips. I ache to feel them against mine, to let them consume me, all of me, but I can’t get myself to allow it .

The room turns ominously dark, the sun shielded by one of the many clouds lingering in the sky. Only the light coming from the bedroom balcony lighting up his face as I watch him fight the urge to let his rage consume him. Another one of his delightful personality traits, my man has a fucking temper.

“How can you say that?” he mumbles against me, his teeth grazing my bottom lip, taking it between them, “How can you end us before we even get the chance to begin?”

I shake my head against his, “Because we’re kidding ourselves if we think this,” I motion between the two of us, placing my hand flat against his chest, “Would end in any way other than calamitous disaster.”

“Those are the best kinds of endings...” he whispers, opening his eyes to gaze into mine.

“The tragic ones?” I mumble, hot tears falling upon my cheeks, searing my blotchy skin.

His hand moves to cup my cheek, my face leaning into his touch. “No, the epic ones, the lovers caught in the crossfire, tangled in barbed wire, and forged together with shackles made of gold. The epic loves that were meant to last a lifetime, only were kept apart by the fear of not becoming everlasting. But you and I, Jade,” he bites down on my chin, trailing his sharp teeth along my jaw, nibbling against my ears, “I know we’re endgame. I feel it in every inch of me, deep inside my bones. That means everything coming from a guy who up until he met you,” he closes his eyes, kissing me softly against my lips, “Felt nothing.”

It’s all too real, the feral emotions his confessions are bringing out of me, the confusion I feel from everything he’s just admitted, combined with how I’ve felt over these last few months, and since the beginning when I first met him, it’s breaking me apart, and not in a good way. I push off of him running out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to get away from all the feelings he’s bringing out of me, but it’s useless. Like always he catches me, this time wrapping an arm around my waist and turning me to slam against him. My nipples harden as they rub against his chest, already hard and needy for his touch. He doesn't trail his hands around my body or bring his mouth down on mine, he simply stares into my eyes, his silver vindictive, yet wistfully ambitious eyes taunting me. They’re deep-set, keen yet pleasant, like shallow pools drowning me and tugging me along with the current. His breath is hot against me, the smell of liquor mixed with something herbal and sweet infiltrating my nostrils.

I don’t know what it is that makes me so reluctant to accept my fate, to accept that no matter what I keep telling myself, I’ve belonged to Sebastian Silver since the first day he laid eyes on me. “I can’t Sebastian, I won’t lose myself in you. I’ve trusted few yet have been burned by many. I don’t have the strength to take any more chances. I’m weak, I’m vulnerable, but most of all I’m absolutely fucking terrified. I won’t forgive you for making me feel this way, for doing this to me without once asking if it’s what I wanted. You took that choice from me, took that decision into your own hands and now I’m doing the same. You won’t have me because I won’t fucking allow it, we’re done, this is over, now let me fucking go.”

Instead of heeding to my pleas like I’d hoped he’d do, hearing the desperateness in my voice, he starts fucking laughing, mocking me and everything I’ve just asked of him. The audacity, how fucking dare he.

I’m no longer in pain, now I’m completely rabid with anger. “I’m not joking Sebastian, let me go,” I cry out, slamming my fists against his chest.

“You’re out of your goddamn mind Jade Wolfe, if you think I will ever let you go. My darling girl, you've honestly lost it completely now.” His hand around my waist tightens its grip as his free hand grabs the back of my neck wrapping around it. Long, calloused fingers curl around, squeezing against my windpipes. I gasp for air as his fingers pulsate against my neck giving me air only to take it away just as quickly. “You think you have a say in this, you’re fucking insane. You are mine, in case I didn’t make it blatantly clear earlier, mine to control, mine to claim, mine to keep. Stop kidding yourself like it’s not exactly what you crave.”

“Fuck you,” I cry out, spitting in his face, my saliva coating the purplish bruise under his right eye. I ache to give him one to match along his left side.

“Yes you will, my love.” With that last word, one I’m not sure I heard correctly, he lifts me and throws me back against his bed, quickly removing his shirt by pulling it from behind his neck and over his head in one swift tug. I feel my pussy throb in response, his abs glistening under the light coming in through the open balcony, as he picks up a belt that was so conveniently located along his dresser. He creeps closer to me, the anticipation making me so fucking wet, I can practically feel my arousal dripping out of me.

“Hands out where I can see them love,” he demands, and fuck I’m so damn quick to obey. There is that fucking word again, making desperate as fuck, butterflies flutter in my stomach. Gone is the sassy, dirty mouthed girl that just told him to go to hell seconds ago, and in her place is a needy, submissive slut ready and willing to comply with her monster’s every command. “Good Little Wolf,” he coos, his voice thick and dripping with seduction, a damn near perfect smirk on his gorgeous face.

Dropping to his knees before me, the bed dipping as his body settles upon it, he uses the belt to tether my hands together, the cold leather cutting into the skin around my wrists. However, I welcome the pain, knowing it will only get better with time. He lifts my hands over my head with one hand, using the other to tug at my legs pulling me to lay flat against the mattress. My head falls back onto the pillow as he holds my head against the headboard. Then out of fucking nowhere he produces a rope, like a real boy-scout looking rope, quickly tying a knot on each end, overlapping it onto the belt and tying both ends onto the posters of the headboard. His monster erection has been teasing me this entire time, hanging out in the open, glistening with his delectable precum, my mouth aching to suck it dry.

He tugs roughly on the rope to ensure it is secure, jolting my hands together, the leather cutting deeper into me as the rope burns against my skin. “Fuck,” I cry out in pain.

“Not yet, baby, but almost.” He proceeds to yank my leggings down my legs along with my G-string, which surely looks like a drenched mess if his devious smile is any indication. “God I can already smell you baby, fucking perfect.”

“Cupcake please,” I cry out like a needy bitch, using the nickname I’ve gotten used to calling him when he pisses me off knowing he hates it.

“You’re the only thing that’s about to be devoured like you're covered in frosting, my sweet girl.” Eagerly he rips my top in half in one quick and flawless tug. My nipples ache in response, the cold air of the room's air condition hitting them full force while I lay here naked beneath him. “Fuck Jade, these tits,” he groans, reaching down and filling both hands with my sensitive breasts, “They’re absolutely perfect.” He lowers his mouth to my right breast, he always goes right, lapping his tongue around one taut peak, sucking it into his mouth as he pinches my other, rubbing it in between his calloused fingertips. The sensation is overwhelming, making me writhe beneath him in agony, my hands restrained above my head only adding to the pleasure. I can’t stop him, all I can do is revel in the feel of his mouth on me as I ache to come apart.

“Sebastian please, I need more, please,” I beg, my voice breathy and tremulous with need.

“In time my love, right now I plan to savor every inch of you baby and remind you why you belong to me, and best of all why you love it.” His mouth continues to assault my nipples, taking his time giving each one the attention it deserves, and I’m quite sure the sensitivity is a symptom of the pregnancy, but I’m about to come from just that .

His mouth moves lower, licking every inch of my stomach, blowing soft kisses against my skin as his tongue leaves a trail of saliva down the center. Finally, his mouth reaches its favorite place, his hands finding my thighs and pushing them apart, opening me wide. My legs stretch open as far as they can, leaving me completely exposed before him. The cold air stings against my pussy but not in a bad way, more painful because of how badly I am aroused. I need him to touch me, to lick me, and eat me.

“Fuck Jade, how did I get so lucky as to have this,” he murmurs into my pussy, his nose inhaling my scent making his eyes turn dark almost black with desire.