Benji (The Wylde Street Boys #1)

10. Benji

TEN

BENJI

I was so overwhelmed. By everything, by everyone.

I’d gone from having the best morning to having it all upended in a second. And, I realised, as Dominic sat opposite me with that goddamn file with those photos and my real name, the worst part wasn’t knowing I’d been found out.

It was knowing I had to leave Nolan.

That he knew I’d lied to him. That I’d hurt him.

That my time with him was over, ending in the worst possible way.

That was worse than anything my father could threaten me with. Worse than what my father’s henchmen could ever do to me if they’d caught me.

The way he sat on my side of the table, holding my hand, only made it worse.

The legal case he’d been working on had been the one against my father .

The odds of that were astronomical. The odds of him forgiving me even worse.

Packing my bag and leaving was the only thing I could think of doing. Getting out of there, running away, going into hiding all over again was the only choice I had.

Until Nolan begged me not to go. Until he held me and told me I was worth fighting for.

I’d never needed to hear anything more in my life.

He was a rescue boat when I was drowning in a sea of fear and guilt.

My god, the way he’d held me. Mending something in me that he didn’t break. Healing wounds he didn’t inflict.

I clung to that hope like I clung to him.

I didn’t understand why he was doing it. He’d said it was because I was worth it, and while I didn’t believe that, he promised to prove it.

And he promised to show me what love meant, if I’d let him.

Love.

Actual love.

If I could ever love anyone, it would be Nolan.

How he’d put himself between me and Dominic when the door intercom buzzed...

When he said he’d protect me, he meant it.

But then Fitch and Ky were there, and I was crying again.

Dominic had called Fitch?

I couldn’t get my head around that. Around anything .

“Benji,” Nolan murmured. “I need to speak to Dominic. Would you please give us a moment?”

I wasn’t sure where we could go in his one-bedroom apartment aside from the one bedroom, so that was where I took them.

I closed the door behind them, and they stood there, watching me. “The fuck happened?” Fitch said. “Are you okay? You’ve been crying, Benj. I ain’t ever seen you cry before.”

I went to the bed, pulled back the covers, and crawled into the middle of the bed. I patted either side of me. “I’m tired.”

They both toed out of their sneakers and Fitch dove into the closest side, Ky crawling over me, and they both encased me, cuddling me. Fitch pulled the covers up and grabbed the remote control, pressing the TV on.

“This is amazing,” he said.

Ky noticed my backpack still at the foot of the bed. “Are you leaving?”

I sighed. “I tried, but Nolan wants me to stay. He... said he can look after me if I stay. Protect me.”

“He looked a bit protective when we got here,” Fitch said. “Standing in front of you like that. It was hot.”

I snorted, because of course he’d think it was hot. I would have normally cracked a joke about that, but I wasn’t feeling it. “He... said he could show me what it means to be loved if I’d let him.”

They both froze, then popped their heads up to look at me. It was almost funny, but all I could do was cry again. “He’s so fucking nice. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve him.”

“You got hit by his car,” Ky said.

“You let him come inside you,” Fitch said.

Ky swatted Fitch’s arm but it did make me laugh.

“What?” he cried. “It’s true. I told you!”

Ky sighed. “Well, it’s not un true.”

I let out a shaky breath. “He’s on the legal team in my father’s trial. It’s a mess. Him even knowing me could jeopardise the whole case. Let alone a personal relationship. He could lose his job, probably. I don’t know. It’s so unfair. Because he didn’t know. I never told him my real name.”

“That’s right,” Fitch said. “So it’s not your fault. It’s not his fault either.”

“But he knows it now,” I mumbled. “And if he doesn’t admit it, report it or whatever, then he’s in trouble. He said something about a possible mistrial. Fucking hell, what if my father walks free because of me?”

Fitch held me a little tighter. “Then we need to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Then he added, “Dom will make sure it doesn’t happen. He’s a legal wizard or something.”

“He called you?” I asked. “When he said he’d called someone, I was expecting cops, not gonna lie.”

“Yes,” Fitch said with a wiggle. “Thought he was putting in a booty call and I got all excited, like hell fucking yes, I’m up for a lunch-break fuck. Then he told me you were in trouble and you needed me, so here we are. ”

“Sorry you missed your booty call,” I said.

He sighed dramatically. “I’ll forgive you this one time.”

“I have to say,” I whispered, “when Dominic was sitting across from me with the case file of me, he was kinda scary.”

“Mmm,” Fitch said, wiggling again. “Did he use his big bad daddy voice? Because it’s fucking hot.”

Ky laughed this time and I gave Fitch a nudge. “I said he scared me. But then he called you, so I’m not sure what to make of him.”

Fitch sighed. “Lemme tell you something about that man. He ain’t nothing but a big old teddy bear. Hard and cold on the outside, soft and gooey in the middle.”

“Like all good daddies should be,” Ky added.

“You two are fucking perverts,” I mumbled. “I love you both.”

We were quiet for a moment, watching some millionaire real estate show on the TV. My eyes were getting heavier and these two warm bodies snuggling into me were making me drowsy.

The emotional onslaught from before had taken it out of me.

“I think you should fight him,” Fitch said quietly.

I blinked myself awake. “Fight who?”

“Your father.”

I shook my head. My immediate response was no. Like a reflex. Don’t fight back because he wins every time, and the resulting punishment is never worth it. It was ingrained in me to never fight back, to never question.

“Think about it,” Fitch said. “Now’s the only chance you’ll probably ever get. He’s already in prison, awaiting his trial. He can’t come for you. He can send whoever he wants in his place, but it’s not him. You don’t have to face him.” Then he shrugged. “And you’ve got two lawyers on your side who are out there right now, probably trying to figure out how to beat him while protecting you. There’s never been a better chance, Benj. Think of it like the boss fight at the end of a video game but you don’t have to fight him alone. You get to join forces with other fighters to bring him down.”

Was . . . was that . . . could that be true?

I . . . I wasn’t sure.

“I think he’s right,” Ky said. “When are you ever gonna have the state’s best lawyers on your side?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “If he knows I helped them, he’ll never stop coming for me. The best I can do is hope they put him away for a while and he has so much other shit going on that he forgets about me.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Fitch murmured. “You know things he doesn’t want people to know.”

I sighed.

I knew what they were saying was right. This was the best chance I ever had. The only chance I’d ever get for any hope of being free from the dark shadow that was my father.

But fear was stopping me. Valid fear, fear taught to me by firsthand experience of just what my father was capable of.

I wasn’t strong enough.

“Can you give an anonymous tip?” Ky asked.

Fitch snorted. “Hmm, love me some anonymous tip.”

Ky reached over and gave him a hard shove. “Do you ever not think about sex, whore?”

Fitch laughed and even I managed a smile just as there was a quiet knock on the door. Then it opened and Nolan stuck his head in, but he did a double take when he saw the three of us in bed.

“Oh.”

Then the door opened wider and Dominic was there.

“I was going to ask if everything was okay,” Nolan said, smiling at me. “But I can see it is.”

“We are, unfortunately, fully dressed,” Fitch said, throwing back the covers as proof. “But if Dominic thinks I’ve been naughty, I’ll take the punishment.”

Ky and I both shoved Fitch again, and though I couldn’t be sure, Dominic might have smirked. Right before he scowled, that was.

Nolan, on the other hand, gave me a warm, gentle smile. “Got a second?”

“Of course,” I said, sitting up. I needed Fitch to get out of bed first, which he did, and Ky followed, so the three of us went out to the living room.

Nolan slipped his hand in mine, and I sat next to him on the sofa. Dom took the single-seater, Ky sat next to me and Fitch sat on the arm rest.

Nolan threaded our fingers and covered our hands with his other. An absolute pillar of strength, of kindness. Of all that was good in this world. “Okay, so between us, we think we’ve come up with a plan,” he said.

“Wait,” I said, my voice quiet. “Before you say anything. Before you do anything, like quit or recuse yourself or whatever you said before.” I took a deep breath in, not sure if I had the strength to do this. But god, what Fitch said before was right. I’d never get another chance. I’d never be stronger than I was with these two lawyers helping me.

With Nolan holding my hand.

“I want to help.”

“Help with what?” Nolan asked.

“Taking my father down. Putting an end to it all. I can’t live looking over my shoulder anymore. I keep putting Fitch and Ky in danger, and now you, Nolan. I can’t have you losing your job for me. I won’t.” I met his gaze, his soft, beautiful eyes. “You’re too important to me.”

“Benji, baby, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he whispered.

“I want to do this. What Fitch said is right.” I gave Fitch a smile then. “I’ll never have a better chance than now. So, while I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to do this, now it is.”

Dominic leaned forward, his eyes narrowing at me. “Are you certain?”

I managed a nod. “Yes.” Then I swallowed hard and found the courage to say the next part out loud. “You know about the drug money and the weapon imports.” That was nothing new; they’d been trying to pin his crimes on him for years. How they were going to provide evidence that he was the mastermind behind it all was the point of the whole case. “But you wanted to know what I saw, what I knew, what I witnessed.”

Nolan squeezed my hand.

Dominic nodded. “Yes.”

“He killed my mother.”

Every set of eyes were on me, wide, their faces pale. Nolan exhaled a ragged breath. “Oh my god.”

My hands trembled, my whole body strung tight. “And I have proof.”