23. Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Blake
T his can’t be real. He tried to kill me. And I just stood there like an idiot.
My stupid body had refused to move, even after Jack got there and tied the guy up.
And how humiliating was it that AJ had to carry me? He kept telling me I was safe, promising to protect me, as he carried me to the car. He was surprisingly gentle with me after almost killing a guy with his bare hands.
He could have killed him.
But he didn’t.
He looked so angry.
He saved you.
I warred with myself. AJ’s display of ruthless violence shocked me, but I was grateful he’d stepped in and stopped the guy.
The situation confused me; I hated violence, but today I was grateful for AJ and his brute strength.
I’d be dead if it wasn’t for him .
And I couldn’t forget how gentle he was, how safe I felt, when he wrapped me in the protective cloak of his body.
AJ held the steering wheel in a vise grip as he drove us away from campus, rolling through most of the stop signs along the way.
The tense silence in the car wasn’t helping me feel any better. Even when AJ said something, he wasn’t talking to me. I listened, but he used code and clipped sentences so I was no better off than if I couldn’t hear him at all.
“How are you holding up?” he asked, turning his head towards me.
“I, um, I guess I’m okay.” I wasn’t. How could I be? Someone tried to kill me. “What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry, Blake. I know you’re scared, but please don’t shoot the messenger.” He reached over and grabbed my hand. “But this could get worse before it gets better.”
My breath caught in my throat. How could it get worse? “What do you mean?” My voice sounded small and weak.
“You’re safe,” he said. “But to keep you that way, I need you to turn off your phone.”
“What? Why?” I hadn’t turned off my phone since, well, ever.
“It’s harder to track a phone if it’s turned off,” he explained.
Track my phone? Was that how they found me? “Okay.” My fingers trembled as I reluctantly turned it off.
“Thank you. You won't like this, but I’m taking you to the SSI office. It’s not safe to take you home.”
My home isn’t safe?
“When can I go home?” I hated how scared I sounded.
AJ turned, empathy in his eyes. “I don’t know. SSI is close to finding answers, but we can’t give you a time frame.”
“Can I at least pack a bag and see my dad?”
He shook his head back and forth. “I’m sorry, we can’t risk it. We’ll get you everything you need.”
If it wasn’t safe for me, was it safe for my father?
“John is calling him. We warned him in the beginning we might need to take you to a safe house, so he won’t be surprised.”
Why didn’t he tell me? I was going to a safe house, with nothing but my schoolbag and the clothes I was wearing. Clothes that now reeked from nervous sweat.
Why is this happening to me? Someone wanted to kill me, and now I had to hide away. I’ll probably miss midterms. It’d be impossible to fix my grades, so I’d have to withdraw to save my GPA.
I won’t graduate. I’ll lose my internship . I was so freaked out I didn’t realize I was hyperventilating until I felt AJ’s hand gently squeezing my shoulder.
“Blake? Talk to me. Do I need to pull over?” AJ asked.
I put my hand over my heaving chest and leaned forward, trying to force air into my lungs.
Wanting to run away and be anywhere but here, I tried to get out as the car rolled to a stop. But I wasn’t thinking clearly and opened the door before releasing my seatbelt. Before I could reach the release button, AJ shoved the car in park and grabbed my hand.
“Blake, you can’t get out of the car,” he said, turning towards me.
“I have to, I can’t breathe,” I huffed out as I gasped for air, the walls of the car closing in around me.
“Blake, can you close the door?”
Close the door? No, I need to get out . I pulled away and turned towards the door, but I wasn’t fast enough. AJ grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. I still had a death grip on the door, so it pulled closed when I leaned back against my seat. My chest rising and falling in rapid bursts as I tried to suck air into my lungs.
“Look at me.” He waited, but I couldn’t move. “Blake, please, look at me.” He reached up and gently turned my head.
When I finally made eye contact, the concern in his eyes nearly pushed me over the edge. AJ spoke softly as he gave me instructions. “Here’s what we’re going to do.” He grabbed my hands and held them, rubbing the backs with his thumbs. “You’re going to follow my lead while we do some breathing exercises, okay?”
It was too hard to talk while my lungs screamed for air, so I nodded.
“Breathe in nice and slow, like this.” He counted to four as he inhaled. I only made it to two before I exhaled. “Good.”
How was that good? I only made it halfway .
“Let’s try again.”
I don’t know how long we sat there before I got my breathing and heartbeat under control, but it felt like forever.
“I’m okay now.” At least I think I am .
“All good in the carriage. Aurora is Oscar Mike again.”
I remembered them telling me they’d refer to me as Aurora if things went bad. Apparently, Meg had a thing for princesses. I didn’t think much about it, other than being annoyed at being called a princess. I didn’t care if it was ironic that I hated being called a princess when my father called me his princess.
That was different. He meant it as an honorific, the daughter of a king; SSI meant it as a damsel in distress. When I said I didn’t want a code name; John said it was standard operating procedure.
I’d foolishly believed they wouldn’t need to use it.
And who the fuck is Oscar?
“Who’s Oscar Mike?”
“Sorry, military speak for on the move.”
“Right. Will everything be in code now?” I couldn’t keep the irritation out of my voice. I was smart enough to know I was acting out because of my fear, but couldn’t stop myself from doing it.
“Some of it will. I know this is stressful and frustrating for you, but there’s a reason for everything we do.”
“Fine.” I leaned back and rested my head against the headrest, praying my alarm clock would go off and end this nightmare.
But this wasn’t a nightmare, and no amount of praying would change that. Neither will acting like a bitch . I needed to put on my big girl pants and deal with reality. And that started with apologizing.
“AJ?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry. You just saved my life and I’m being a bitch,” my voice still shaky as I answered.
“It’s okay. It’s actually a normal reaction.”
Who knew? Not that it made me feel any better. A few seconds later it occurred to me I hadn’t thanked him.
“AJ?” I tried to sound friendly and calm.
“Yeah?” He turned to me with a soft smile.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Is Jack okay?”
“He is. He gave his statement to the campus PD, and is on his way back to the office. We’ll give our statements via a video call later.”
My statement wouldn’t help much. I didn’t see anything until AJ turned to stop the guy, and everything after that was a blur.
Oh my God . Did Jack hear me freak out?
“Did he hear me have my panic attack?” I didn’t know why it mattered, but it did. I didn’t want him thinking I was weak.
“No, I shut the mic off until it was over.”
He did? Really? AJ continued to surprise me. Maybe he wasn’t an ogre, like I’d originally thought. Even if he did choke that guy. Would he get in trouble for it? Did they arrest Jack, since he stayed behind?
My chest tightened as panic threatened to take over again. Remembering AJ’s earlier breathing technique, I took a deep breath and released it slowly.
“Do you have a code name?” I asked, needing to occupy my mind, so I didn’t panic again.
“I do. Sierra Four.”
“What does it mean?”
“Sierra is the military phonetic for the letter S, and we each have a number. Sierra Three has been with us all day.”
So Jack was Sierra Three.
“How’d you pick your numbers?”
“They’re based on the order we signed our contracts. I was the fourth.”
I asked AJ if he minded me asking questions. He said he didn’t, so I kept asking. It was interesting to hear about what he did, and it helped keep me from freaking out.
We were about fifteen minutes from the office when AJ signaled he was listening to Jack.
“Copy that. See you in a few,” he said, then turned to me. “Change of plans; we’re not going to the office, we’re going to Snow’s Castle.”
I laughed. Not a little feminine laugh, but a cackle. What was it with these people and their princess references?
“Snow’s Castle.” I asked, “Seriously?” My voice thick with loathing.
“Yup,” he answered. “What do you have against princesses?”
“Nothing, I just don’t think it’s something girls should aspire to. Why do we encourage young girls to think they need a man to save them?” I realized the irony of my statement as soon as it came out of my mouth.
AJ raised an eyebrow and grinned. I waited for him to call me out on my hypocrisy, but he didn’t. He let his expression do the talking.
I'd needed a man had to save me.
And keep me from having a panic attack .
Defending my position, I said, “What happened today isn’t normal. Most girls won’t need a bodyguard at college. Or ever.”
“If you say so.” The humor in his voice annoyed me. I planned to tell him just that, but before I could come up with a clever comeback, he said, “Five minutes out.”
“What?” I asked before realizing he must be talking to Jack.