Chapter 31 Madeleine
Chapter thirty-one
Madeleine
Arhythmic beeping is the first thing I hear, a strong antiseptic scent is the first thing I smell, and Eli, my husband, is the first thing I see as I force my heavy eyelids to flutter open.
I slowly raise my hand, feeling tension in my left shoulder. Ignoring the pain, I bring my palm to the top of his head, resting on the side of my bed. I run my fingers through his hair, watching as he begins to stir, his eyes blinking a few times.
The moment his eyes are fully open, meeting mine, he becomes an alert soldier, instantly standing, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek.
I melt into his strong touch, closing my eyes, savoring the safety I feel in his embrace.
He leans down and presses his forehead against mine, intertwining our fingers with his free hand.
There’s a slight tremor in our touch, but I’m not sure if it’s coming from me or him.
“I thought I lost you,” he breathes. He cranes his neck back, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. So many thoughts swirl through his dark orbs.
Fear. Guilt. Love.
I place my hand on his cheek, grazing my palm against his stubble. “I’m right here.”
He leans down, softly pressing his lips against mine. The familiar taste of him sends warmth coursing through my body, a feeling I never want to live without.
“How are you feeling, love?” he asks as his eyes scan over me.
I glance at my shoulder, unable to see the extent of the damage hidden beneath the gauze and tape. I attempt to lift it but wince from the pain. “Pretty damn sore.”
He runs his fingers through his hair, visibly distressed. “I’m so sorry. You should have never been in a position where this happened to you. I shouldn’t have left your side for one moment.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him. “Cressida was clearly not…okay.”
“No, she wasn’t.”
“Is she…?” I ask, remembering Cressida falling to the ground beside me, blood pouring out of her neck.
“She is,” Eli says with displeasure. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore.”
“Who… Who did it?”
“Alex.” He looks out the window. “He didn’t want to kill her.
None of us did. But the second she fired a shot, he fired one, too.
He had no choice. If he didn’t, she could have kept shooting.
She would have…” He lets out a deep breath.
“Killed you.” He brings my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.
“And that was never an option that any of us would have ever let happen.”
I roll in my bottom lip, fighting tears.
Knowing Alex, this is going to be hard on him.
Hurting a woman goes against everything he stands for.
I can only imagine how he feels after taking her life.
But because of him, I’m alive.
“What about the Vasilievs? What did you do to them?” I ask.
He exhales, closing his eyes. “We let them go.”
“What?” My eyes widen in shock. “But they… But Cressida told me that’s who took you in Iraq. Their men are the ones who tortured you! You need to make them pay. You need to kill them. You need—”
“Shhh,” he hums softly. “It’s okay, love.”
“It’s not okay,” I respond. “How can you stand there and say that? How can you let them live after what they did to you?”
“Because in a single moment, I had a choice to make. Either start a war in the middle of that ballroom, risking the lives of those closest to me, or find you.” He grins softly, his knuckles stroking gently across my cheek. “I chose you, love. I’ll always choose you.”
A few tears escape, trailing down my cheeks.
“I don’t deserve you.” I wipe my eyes. “You’ve always put me first. You’ve always been there.
Always. Even thousands of miles away, you were there for me.
I just…” I take a deep breath. “Cressida admitted to writing that letter to me. It was all her. Those were her words.” I shake my head, more tears free falling down my cheeks.
“How could I let even a small part of myself believe that you wrote that damn letter?”
He brushes my hair back. “That’s all in the past. And the only thing I want to think about is the future—our future. One with you by my side.” His eyes darken. “Besides, their time will come. One way or another, they will meet their maker. But I don’t want you to waste a second thought on them.”
He presses his lips to mine, and we savor each other for a few minutes until he pulls back and asks, “Are you ready for me to let your family know you’re awake?”
I sigh, falling back against the pillow. “Are they here?”
“Are you kidding? They wouldn’t leave your side. I finally got to be alone with you an hour ago when your mom kicked everyone out into the hallway so you didn’t wake up with eight faces staring down at you.”
I let out a soft laugh, but it quickly transforms into a grimace as pain shoots through my shoulder.
“I’ll get the doctor, too,” he adds, moving toward the door.
Seconds later, the room is filled with familiar faces: Mom, Vin, Alex, Mauro, Leo, Scarlett, and Alina. All of them tell me how thankful they are that I’m okay and how worried they’ve been.
“Seeing that you were just shot, I’ll ignore the fact that you got married without your mother present,” my mom says as she makes her way to my side. She reaches for my hand with a smile on her face. “I’m just so relieved you’re okay.”
“Always trying to be Mom’s favorite when we both know that title belongs to me,” Vin jokes with a wink as he makes his way to my other side.
“It’s been my title since the day I was born,” I respond, sticking out my tongue.
His expression softens, and his smile fades. “There aren’t many things in this world that frighten me, but you somehow managed to give me one of the biggest scares of my life.” He clears his throat and wipes his forearm across his eyes.
“We were so worried.” Scarlett squeezes my hand, with Leo standing protectively behind her as Alina takes my other hand.
“Try not to let this happen again, okay?” Alina advises, smiling with tears forming in her eyes.
“I’ll try not to.” I squeeze their hands in assurance.
Mauro approaches Alina and stands beside her. His eyes scan every inch of me, searching for more injuries, but after not finding anything besides my shoulder injury, his eyes lock with mine, silently holding a conversation.
“I’m okay, I promise,” I tell him, reaching out my hand for his.
His large hand envelops mine gently, squeezing it reassuringly. With his free hand, he points to his eye, then to his chest, and finally toward me. His eyes water, but he blinks the tears away before anyone else notices.
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
“We all love you,” Mom adds with tears forming in her eyes.
A knock sounds at the door, and Dr. Rose walks in with Eli.
“Looks like my patient is awake,” Dr. Rose notes with a smile as she approaches. “I’d like to change your bandages and give you some medication for your pain.”
“Of course,” I reply, shifting slightly on the bed.
“Well, everyone,” Mom begins, “let’s give Madeleine some space. We can all take turns visiting her later.”
Everyone says their goodbyes, leaving the room one after another, and that’s when I notice Alex standing in the corner.
I turn to Eli and Dr. Rose and ask, “Can you please give me a minute with Alex first?” They both nod and step into the hall, with Eli closing the door behind him.
Alex stands at the foot of my bed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. His eyes are cast down, revealing dark bags beneath them. His shirt is wrinkled and unbuttoned at the top. This isn’t the Alex I know, and it’s killing me inside to see him like this.
“You saved me,” I state.
He nods. “I did.”
“Why do I feel like you regret it?”
His brows knit together as he shakes his head. “I would never regret saving you. You’re my blood. My sister. I would do anything for you.”
“I know. But I can’t help but worry that you’re going to take this harder than you should.”
He turns away and walks to the window, glaring outside.
“She needed help. She needed…” He shakes his head.
“To be honest, I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know exactly what she needed or if she was too far gone for treatment.
” He turns to me. “The world we live in isn’t kind.
It’s cruel and dark to its core. Because of that, I’ve killed many men—men who deserved it.
” He shrugs slightly. “Maybe some who didn’t, but I’ve never…
” He shakes his head again. “I’ve never killed a woman. I’ve never even laid a hand on one.”
I arch a brow, my lips curving up. “Oh, really?”
“You know what I mean.” He rolls his eyes and flashes a fleeting smile before it quickly fades away. “Hurting women is not how we were raised. It’s not who I am. And this is going to sit heavy on my shoulders for a while.”
I sit up and clear my throat. “Cressida planted the seed for everything, orchestrating this entire situation. She wanted me to be as far away from Eli as possible, by any means necessary—even if that meant killing me. And she tried.” I let out a breath.
“I know you. And I know you’re going to unnecessarily beat yourself up about this for a long time, and that’s why I’m going to tell you what started this whole thing. ”
He furrows his brows in confusion.
I take a deep breath. “For years, Eli and I had been exchanging letters while he was in the military. It was just something we did. Something that turned our friendship into more. And last year, I wrote him a letter to tell him that I…that I was pregnant.”
Alex’s brows shoot up.
“And weeks later, I received a letter from Eli. Only it wasn’t from Eli.”
“Cressida?”
I nod. “She pretended to be Eli and told me to get rid of the baby.” I roll in my bottom lip.
“I was crushed. Devastated beyond words. I should have never believed Eli would say something like that to me, but at that moment, those words just bore themselves into my soul. It killed me. And I’ll never forgive myself for thinking he had anything to do with that. ”
Alex sits in the chair closest to him. “Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
“But, what happened to—”
“I lost it,” I answer. “The night I signed my soul over to the devil. I think the stress of everything happening around me was just too much for my body to handle.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry, Madeleine.”
“Me too.” I run my hand under my eyes, catching the loose tears. “But I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to punish yourself for what happened.”
“Madeleine, I—”
“No.” I cut him off, not giving him a chance to finish his thought, knowing he doesn’t deserve this.
“You saved me. You gave me and Eli a chance to start a family. And I’ll be forever grateful for you.
I just hope that someday, you’ll see that you did the right thing with no remorse. You did what had to be done.”
He shows a small smile, one I wish would grow bigger. But I know that won’t happen today. It might not happen for a while.
He gives a slight nod. “I’m sure you’re right.”
I notice the tired look in his eyes, the one that tells me he wants to change the subject but is too polite to say so. “I always am.”
He shakes his head, letting out a small laugh as he looks toward the door. “So, you’re officially a married woman now? Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Eli is certainly going to have his hands full with you.”
I grin. “He can handle me.”
“I know he can.” He leans back in his seat. “I’m glad you two found your way to each other.”
“Me too. But what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Is there anyone out there who’s caught your eye?”
He swallows, looking away. “No.”
“Someday,” I offer.
“Someday,” he repeats solemnly. Standing, he takes a step toward the door. “Well, I better let the doctor fix you up. And I’m sure Eli is chomping at the bit to get back by your side.”
“Most likely… But, Alex, will you do one thing for me?”
He pauses, glancing over his shoulder. “Anything.”
“Take a shower. Iron your shirt. Shave.” I wave a hand at him. “I’m not used to this version of you, and it’s scaring me.”
He chuckles softly. “I think I can manage that.”
Seconds after he walks out the door, Eli and Dr. Rose come inside.
“How’s he doing?” Eli asks, taking my hand in his as Dr. Rose washes her hands at the sink.
I lift my good shoulder. “I think only time will tell.”
“And how are you doing?”
“Feeling ready to go home.”
He brushes the hair out of my face. “As soon as we get the all-clear, Princess, I’ll take you back to your home.”
I shake my head. “Our home.”
His eyes lock onto mine, and a moment passes before he softly repeats, “Our home.” He leans down to press a kiss to my lips and then pulls away to whisper in my ear, “I love you, wife.”
The corners of my lips curve up.
I’ll absolutely never tire of hearing him call me that.
“I love you, husband.”