Chapter 2
2
T he month that followed passed quickly. I didn’t see Aaron. I didn’t try to call him. I didn’t regret anything that had gone on between us. It really was innocent enough, with one minor exception. Aaron was a man. A beautiful, sexy gay man. And I identified myself as a heterosexual and had a girlfriend.
Here was the truth… I wasn’t completely straight, which I suppose meant I was bisexual. What I hated was that I had to qualify what I meant by that statement. I had found other men attractive in the past; however, I only acted on it once.
I was a freshman in college at a very raucous party when I met my one and only previous gay experience. But it was a doozy. I didn’t know the guy at all. I think he was a little older than me. I remember us talking in the kitchen and then him being literally in my space. It didn’t bother me. I remember being turned on. So when he told me he wanted to show me something in the bedroom, I followed him. I wasn’t thinking sex. I was thinking he was going to offer me drugs, which I would have refused. But I didn’t predict the searing-hot kiss or the way his hands moved all over my body. I couldn’t have predicted my body’s response. I just went with it. When he fumbled with my belt and unzipped my jeans, I just went with it. When he slipped his hands under my briefs and kneaded my ass with strong, sure hands, I sighed and pushed forward. When he cupped my balls and my dick, my breath caught, but I still went with it. I remember he was suddenly urgent as he stroked me. His grip was tight and felt amazing. I didn’t think I’d last long. But he pulled away from me, taking something out of his pocket before shucking off his jeans and shoes. I literally stood there with my very hard dick in my hands, watching as he walked toward the bed and then placed a condom and packet of lube by his knees as he arranged himself on his hands and knees in front of me. His ass on full display. I remember he seemed breathy as he told me to fuck him.
I don’t remember thinking beyond desire at that moment. I’d never done any of the things I’d done with him before. I was a homo virgin. I’d had sex with a couple of girlfriends in high school, but I was well aware that I was crossing into new territory. That was all the thinking I let my head do as I slipped the condom on, lubed up, and reached for him. We fucked. It was hot, tight, sweaty, and yeah, I liked it. A lot. Looking back at it, I’m sure I was a lousy lay. I think he knew enough to take care of himself. I couldn’t think beyond my own primitive urges. We didn’t linger after the act. I didn’t feel ashamed at all, but I definitely felt confused.
In the six years since that experience, I had never seriously looked twice at a man until Aaron. Until Aaron, I had convinced myself that was a one-off drunken experience. One I owned but doubted I’d ever do again. Aaron and I hadn’t done anything sexual, really. We had kissed. That’s it. And now one month had gone by since that kiss, and all I could do was think of him.
I was very busy with classes and with my internship at the law firm. I’d played guitar and sang at the bar I had told Aaron about a couple of times. I’d watched my fair share of football with my friends, and yeah, I managed to spend some time with my girlfriend. But none of this stopped me from thinking of Aaron, wondering if I’d bump into him at the market, at a coffee shop, or even on the street. I was thinking I should just give into the urge I had to call him. Then one day something happened to make me think I needed to do something sooner rather than later if I was going to get my sense of balance back.
It was a late Saturday afternoon in mid-November, so naturally I was parked in front of our large-screen TV watching college football with my buddies. Empty beer bottles and bags of chips were strewn about. The games hadn’t been particularly exciting that day, but it didn’t stop us from screaming at the television and one another with mostly good-natured jibes. I loved hanging out with my friends. I loved being with a bunch of guys sharing a beer or two and debating sports, politics, and current events. It was times like this that kept me from thinking about Aaron, which was a topic I didn’t want to share with anyone. Not even Curt, who strangely enough hadn’t brought up Aaron once since the day after I’d introduced them at the bar last month. Curt had asked me how my “friend” was the next day, made a comment regarding his hotness (“sizzling,” I believe he said), and that was it. Not a word since. I was relieved.
There was a banging at the front door, and Jason got up off the ratty old sofa to answer. I gave a quick glance toward the door but was otherwise engrossed in the action on the screen. A double take had me groaning inside but plastering a fake smile on my face. It was Kristin with Chelsea, Jason’s girlfriend, and Jen, a friend of Kristin’s who was crushing on Dave. They walked into the apartment with grocery bags in hand.
“We’re here to cook! Man cannot live on chips and beer alone!” Chelsea declared.
“How about spaghetti, boys? Garlic bread? A Caesar salad?” Kristin asked sweetly. She gave a shy smile aimed in my direction. I tried to return it and hoped it didn’t look like a grimace. I wasn’t happy with the new development.
I looked around at my buddies to see what they were thinking and found no support. Jason had his tongue down Chelsea’s throat, and Dave had a stupid smile on his face. He looked genuinely pleased to see Jen. That left me staring at my girlfriend like an idiot. I needed to get up off the sofa and act like I was grateful she had come with reinforcement to save us from another weekend of eating pizza in front of the big screen.
I looked over at Curt, who had greeted the girls when they walked in but had since turned all his attention to his phone. I could tell he was not going to stay for dinner with three couples. Since I wasn’t getting out of it, I needed to get up off my ass and say something to Kristin. “Why are you here?” probably wasn’t the right thing to say, although it was all I could think.
She didn’t seem to notice any awkwardness from me. In fact, she just gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and set to work in the cramped kitchen. I grabbed a beer and headed back to the living area, but not before I heard Chelsea say, “Kristin, are you making those Italian wedding meatballs too? Those are so yum!” I choked on my drink and scurried as quickly as possible back to the men and the game.
The rest of the evening was my own personal nightmare. Three couples, one obviously serious, one more casual (at least that was my take on Kristin and me), and one in the just-getting-to-know-each-other stage. And conversation centered around marriage. Ugh! How old did you want to be? Did you want a big or small wedding? What did you think about eloping? Like I said, hell. To be fair, the reason the conversation came up was that mutual friends of ours had just become engaged. They’d been dating for two years and he’d just popped the question. It still smelled a little bit like a setup to me. Maybe I was paranoid, but I felt like the girls were all testing the waters to see what the guy reaction to marriage and settling down was like. I was painfully silent. I was afraid to even look at Kristin. She didn’t really think we were heading that way, did she?
Apparently, she did. She was telling a story about some friend of hers whose wedding we went to in the spring and commenting on how gorgeous the flowers were. Next she was onto bridesmaid dresses. What colors look good in what season? Seriously. The conversation was bad enough, but the surreptitious looks she cast in my direction made me feel a little queasy.
I liked Kristin, but marriage? I guess she’d make a good wife if I were ready for that kind of commitment. Let me be clear that I was not. Someday, sure, but honestly, I didn’t think I felt like Kristin and I would really make it in the long run. We talked easily, we’d never had a real argument, and the sex was nice. But that’s it. There was no passion. I admit it. I felt more passionate about the game she interrupted by bringing over dinner than I did about seeing her and being with her. If anything, I felt annoyed.
Hypothetically speaking, if we were to marry, it would be a polite kind of affair. I could see my life ten years from now when I was approaching my midthirties with my pretty wife, our two kids, and a dog living in the suburbs. I’d be a soccer dad on the weekends, and she’d be the perfect mom, involved in the kids’ school and attending yoga and Pilates in her spare time. Maybe I would come to love her in time, but maybe I was just being a selfish bastard. If we had different ideas about where this relationship was heading, one of us should say something. Did it have to be me? Maybe I misread her wistful expression after all.
The girls insisted on cleaning up, although Dave stayed to chat Jen up and dry dishes. He must have had a bigger crush than I realized. When they came to join us in front of the television, the games had wound down for the night and someone had turned on a movie. A romantic comedy, of course. I could not catch a break! Couples had drifted to cuddle up with one another. I was sitting on my corner of the sofa when Kristin came to sit beside me. I put my arm around her, and I don’t know why, but I hoped that would be all for the night. I didn’t want to kiss her, hold her, and I didn’t want sex. I just didn’t feel it. I guess the wedding talk had scared me off more than I thought. Or maybe I was thinking of someone else.
I was desperate for this not to turn completely awkward, so I suggested we all go out for a drink. Dave and Jen politely declined and then made their way to Dave’s room. Great. Now I definitely wanted out of the apartment. I didn’t want to listen to those two going at it all night. I tried to give Jason a pleading look, which he pointedly ignored.
“No, man. Come on, Chels. Let’s head back home. See ya, Matt. Bye, Kristin. And thanks for dinner.” Jason had his coat in one hand and the other all over Chelsea’s ass. Great. That left Kristin and me.
“Want to go out for a drink? Sam Thompson is supposed to be playing at that little bar off Pennsylvania,” I asked her hopefully. I felt her tense up in my arms and realized I was playing this all wrong. Unfortunately I didn’t think making it right would do either of us any good.
“Actually, I’m a little tired, Matt.” We both turned toward the bedrooms as the first squeak of the box springs was heard. I raised my eyebrows and she gave me a faint smile in return.
“Mind taking me home?”
“Sure thing.”
Kristin lived with two other roommates about ten minutes from my place. I knew she’d invite me in, and I was trying to find the least hurtful way to leave her and head into town. Maybe I’d call Curt and see where he’d gone. But Kristin knew me well enough to know I wouldn’t want to go home with Dave and Jen doing the nasty back at my place. This was going to be tricky.
Help came in the form of her roommate, Stephanie. She was dressed in pajama bottoms and a tight T-shirt, no bra, eating ice cream straight from the container in front of what looked like yet another chick flick. This one looked like the sad kind, though. One look at Stephanie told me she was an emotional mess; tears were streaming down her face. Kristin rushed over to her side.
“Steph, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Men suck. I want to be a lesbian,” she cried. Stephanie is actually a very pretty girl, but her eyes were puffy and red, and she looked a little miserable. I didn’t really want to stick around to find out who had stood her up or let her down. I got that it was one of my gender. I didn’t need to know any more.
“Um. Maybe I should head out, Kristin….” I was already backing up toward the front door.
“Yeah, I’m so sorry, Matt.” She had her arm around Stephanie. She blew me a kiss over her sobbing friend’s shoulder. I smiled and gave her a small wave as I made a mad dash for the door.
I breathed a sigh of immense relief as I stepped out into the cool November evening. It was still early. I knew I wasn’t going home. I pulled out my cell and called Curt’s number. I got his voice mail. There were other friends I could call, or I could just grab a beer on my own. But I couldn’t stop thinking of Aaron. It had been almost a month. Would he even remember me? I pushed “send” before I could talk myself out of it.
The call was answered on the first ring, but it didn’t sound like Aaron.
“Chel-lo… Aaron’s phone….” The voice was masculine but lilting. It was very loud in the background. I’d bet Aaron and whoever had his phone were at a club. “I’m sure you’re looking for Aaron, because I am too. I need to give him his phone.” He must have pulled the phone just away from his mouth, but he was still yelling in my ear, “Yoo-hoo, Aaron honey… you just got a call. Yes, I answered it. You didn’t say I shouldn’t! Sorry… I don’t know who it is. No wait, it said Matty. Who is Matty?”
I had to smile. Matty? I didn’t mind it so much coming from Aaron.
“Matty, hold on. He’s on his way, although he looks like he wants to strangle me. Be nice to him. He’s a little cranky,” Aaron’s friend whispered loudly into the phone.
“I’m not cranky, bitch. Give me the phone, sweetie.” That voice I’d know anywhere.
“Bitch, sweetie… which one is it, Aar Bear?”
“Hello?”
“Aar Bear? Hi, Aaron. It’s me. Matt. I’m not sure if you remember…,” I began nervously.
“Call me Aar Bear again and I’ll hurt you, but don’t be silly, of course I remember you, Matty. It’s been a while. How are you?” Aaron’s voice was like honey. I wanted to keep him talking, but moreover, I really wanted to see him.
“It has. I wanted to call you, but I wasn’t sure I should. How’ve you been?”
“Same ol’, same ol’… nothing exciting.” He sounded great and anything but same ol’ and unexciting to me.
“Can I see you, Aaron? I don’t mean to sound weird, pathetic, whatever. I just… I can’t stop thinking about you. What are you doing?”
I heard a small laugh, and Aaron said, “Yeah, Matt, that sounds good. I’m at a party, but I’m really ready to leave. Want to pick me up now?”
He gave me quick directions to a residence off of Logan. I had been sitting in my car while talking to Aaron, so I turned the engine on and headed over the bridge toward the Circle. Fifteen minutes later, I pulled up to the address Aaron had given me to find him standing outside with his arms wrapped around himself to ward off the chill. He saw my car and made his way to me.
“Where’s your jacket?” I asked. He looked at me in surprise and then laughed.
“Matty, I didn’t want to mess up my ensemble by covering it! Like the shirt?” I nodded slowly. Aaron had on a tight-fitted, floral-printed button-down shirt, which at least had long sleeves, and tight dark jeans. Yeah, he looked good. Really good.
“Yes, I like your shirt. You look amazing. But you look cold too. Want my coat?” I offered my coat almost without realizing I had done it. He looked surprised again, but he gave me that glorious smile and shook his head.
“No, I’m good. Thank you for offering. Where should we go?”
“Well, I have a suggestion, but if you’d rather go somewhere else, that’s cool too,” I began lamely.
He raised his eyebrows, inviting me to continue.
“This friend of mine, Sam, is playing at this little bar off Pennsylvania. It’s pretty cool. A little crowded, but….”
“Sure. I’m in. Show me how the other half lives, Matty.” I must have given him a funny look because he continued, “The straight half, I mean. This is a hetero bar you’re taking me to, yes? I’m game and I promise not to embarrass you. Much.” He said the last part tongue-in-cheek, but I still wondered what that was supposed to mean. Maybe he was referring to his tightly fitted clothes and the ever-present eyeliner. I guess he looked gay, but plenty of gay people went to straight bars, and vice versa. He was my friend. Who cared what anyone thought? I didn’t imagine they’d think anything one way or the other. This was DC, not some backwater hick town.
The traffic was a little heavy the closer we got to the bar, so I parked in the first available spot I saw and suggested we walk the remaining two blocks.
“Aaron, seriously. You’re going to freeze. Take my jacket. Please.” He was wrapped around himself as closely as he could manage, but the guy was very lean. Of course he was cold. I took off my leather jacket and practically shoved it at him. He looked at me funny but didn’t argue this time. The jacket was enormous on him. I had him by five inches easily and a good thirty pounds.
“I must look ridiculous!” He laughed out loud.
“Ridiculous but warm, and right now, which would you rather be? Come on, we’re heading this way.” I directed him up the avenue.
Along the way, he chatted nonstop about the party he’d just been to. A work gathering. Someone’s birthday. He was supposed to go to his best friend Jay’s house later, but he’d just text him and tell him he had other last-minute plans. He told me about a new layout he was helping the photographer with for his magazine shoot. And on and on. It was enchanting, honestly. I got the sense that things were never dull in Aaron’s world. He wouldn’t let them be. He asked about me, but I was able to give him only the briefest of updates before we were at our destination.
The bar was packed. It was wall-to-wall people. I signaled for him to follow me and made my way to the bar.
“What do you want?” I yelled above the din.
“Umm… let’s see. A cosmo, please.”
“Aaron. This is a bar bar. How about a vodka soda or vodka cranberry?”
“Really? They can’t throw in a little triple sec and lime juice? Fine. I’ll have a vodka cranberry, then. But make it strong. I was at a work party. I’ve had like two sips of wine tonight, and now I’m in enemy territory. I need a drink more than anyone here.” He gave me a dramatic eye roll and flipped his hair back from his eyes. All it did was make him look even more adorable, especially since he was still wearing my jacket. I had to fight the urge to lean over and kiss him.
I ordered our drinks and asked the bartender if I could get word to Sam that I was here. Maybe give him a note or something. A waitress picking up drinks from the bar said she was heading toward the stage area. She would tell Sam I was there in the audience. I gave her my name and thanked her. I played in the same kinds of bars Sam did. Sometimes we played together. We always let each other know when we were at a show. It was good to know you were playing to at least one friendly face. Helped steady the nerves, I thought.
We were still at the bar when she came back to us and instructed us to follow her. We made our way to a very small table placed to the right of the makeshift stage.
“Sam reserved this table for guests. It’s yours tonight.” She gave me a flirtatious smile and seemed to flash a bit of cleavage as she leaned forward to place our drinks on the table.
Aaron noticed too. He gave her a cool smile and leaned back in his chair. He then sprung suddenly to his feet and shrugged off my jacket, making a big production of handing it back to me.
“Too hot for me now, Matty. Do you mind taking your jacket back for me?” He batted his eyelashes at me. Seriously. I noticed his voice had a more feminine note as well. Was he jealous of the waitress’s attention? This was new territory for me. Once again, I felt unsure. The glass of vodka soda I ordered would help a little with my unease.
Aaron was uncharacteristically quiet for a few minutes once he took his seat again. He swept his gaze warily over the crowd as though trying to gage what sort of folks came to bars like this. I could tell he was feeling a little uncomfortable. He caught me watching him and flashed me one of his beautiful smiles before taking a big gulp of his vodka cranberry. I wasn’t surprised when he started choking.
“Easy, big guy. There’s no hurry.” I patted him on the back the way my mom had always done to me when I was little. I’m not sure what she thought that would do, but that silly pat was an ingrained gesture in my family.
Aaron gave me a weak laugh as he regained composure.
“The bartender must have heard me ask for a stiff one. Ha! Pun only sort of intended.” He laughed out loud at his own joke, and I couldn’t help but join in. His laughter was infectious. “Better be careful, Matty. I get a little slutty when I’ve had too much. I don’t want to do anything you’ll regret in the morning.” He giggled softly. Geez, I was beginning to wonder if Aaron had eaten at all. I leaned forward to ask him when the lights over the stage area went dark, announcing the evening’s entertainment.
“Oooh, is this your friend? Sam, right? What does he sing anyway?” I was surprised I could hear Aaron’s voice over the wolf whistles and cheering.
I smiled at him and just whispered in his ear, “You’ll see.” My lips gently brushed the tip of his ear. He started at my touch, but just turned forward in his seat to focus on Sam.
Sam Thompson and I had met in a criminal justice class my first year of law school. We were in the same study group and quickly learned that we shared a second passion in music. Sam was a year ahead of me in school and had been making a name for himself in the small club and bar scene, playing acoustic guitar and singing. He said it worked as a great stress reliever for him and gave him a life outside of textbooks and lectures. I’d been playing guitar since I was in my midteens. I was even in a small band in college. Like Sam, it was never my intention to make a living playing, but I loved it too.
Sam walked out with his six-string guitar draped over his shoulder. He made eye contact with me and gave me a nod before he sat on a small stool and adjusted the microphone in front of him. Sam looked the part of a soulful blues guitarist. His sandy-blond hair was a little long and shaggy. He had a lean and lanky build and was probably a good couple inches taller than me. He was dressed casually tonight in a worn pair of jeans and an ancient concert T-shirt. Sam was all about the music, not fashion.
I snuck a peek at my companion as I realized that, although I didn’t know Aaron well at all, my guess would be that he liked to dress for whatever the occasion called. I hoped he wasn’t going to hate being here tonight. Inviting him here was pure impulse on my part. I had no clue what I was doing. Once again. But Aaron seemed to bring out a carefree, go-with-the-flow side of me. If I thought too much about any of this, I knew I’d be in trouble. He was looking attentively toward the stage as Sam welcomed everyone and began to run his fingers over the strings of his guitar. I figured that as long as Aaron didn’t expect him to play Lady Gaga, this could be all right.
Sam played for a good forty-five minutes to an enthusiastic audience before he announced he was taking a small break. During the set, I’d kept an eye on my companion while Sam played. I noticed Aaron would alternate his attention between Sam and the people gathered to listen to him. He reminded me of a wild, beautiful creature who somehow found himself in enemy territory. He looked wary and on guard but interested at the same time.
I leaned forward to ask him if wanted to head out when Sam approached our table. I stood to greet him and gave him a one-armed guy hug. Sam was on a performer’s high, keyed up from the adrenaline rush playing in front of a crowd gives you when the nerves give way to the simple joy of playing the music you love. Sam and I both performed covers of music we liked. Mostly classic rock, but I also loved good pop music and would play anything from the Beatles to Maroon 5. I didn’t think Aaron’s taste in music ran in either direction, but so far, he seemed at least mildly entertained.
I introduced Aaron to Sam as Sam pulled up a chair to join us.
“You were awesome, man,” I enthused, giving him a high five. “Let me buy you a drink.”
“Thanks, but I’m good. I have so much work to do this weekend. I’m not drinking anything tonight.”
Sam gave Aaron a brief once-over before asking him if we knew each other from law school. I don’t know why that struck me as funny, but I gave a quick chuckle at the thought of Aaron in one of my boring classes. He was much too vibrant for Constitutional Law. I would have remembered someone like him. Aaron raised an eyebrow at me. I smiled at him, hoping to convey that I meant no insult.
“No, we met at a club and then a bar and now another bar. Creatures of the night, right, Matty?” Uh-oh. Aaron was on the defense now, and Sam was giving me the weirdest look. It was time to retreat.
“Right. Hey, Sam. We’re gonna be heading out. Let me know when your next gig is, ’kay?” I started to get up from the table, but Sam grabbed my wrist before I got anywhere.
“Wait. I was going to ask you if you would come play a song or two with me. Come on, dude, it would be great. We can do a couple of the ones we practiced last week.”
“Do it, Matty. I want to hear you.” Aaron was the one giving funny looks now.
“Yeah, Matty…,” Sam pleaded, drawing out my name to let me know he wanted to know when I’d gone from Matt to Matty.
“Alright, but only one, Sam. We haven’t practiced enough. It’s going to be edgy anyway. I’m assuming you have more than one guitar?” I figured it was easier to give in and then get out of here. I felt like I was paying for my impulsiveness now, and I really wanted out.
Sam slapped me hard on the back once and held out a hand to Aaron.
“Nice meeting you, Aaron. I’ll introduce you right away so you can head out if you want afterwards. I appreciate it!”
“Shit!” I sighed. “I’m sorry, Aaron. You are probably so ready to get out of here. I’ll just do the one song and we can go. Is that cool?”
“Matt. I want to hear you play. I’m totally cool. I’m not sure you realize this, but I’m here of my own free will. I know how to get a taxi home, and this isn’t a date anyway, right?” I nodded in agreement. “Good. Because if it were you would have fed me before you started giving me this gut-rot vodka. I am going to have a headache in the morning for sure.”
I ended up playing and singing three songs with Sam. I was having too much fun to quit after one, and Aaron looked like he was enjoying our impromptu concert anyway. The audience ate it up, just as Sam had predicted. We were definitely a little rusty since we hadn’t practiced together in a while, but no one seemed to notice.
I gave Aaron a signal to follow me as I made my way toward the exit, giving my new fans high fives on my way outside. Aaron had grabbed my leather jacket and handed it to me once we were out in the cool evening air.
“You were really great. I think I recognized one song, but it was all terrific. You have a sweet, sexy voice, Matty. I like.”
Aaron’s compliment made me feel ten feet tall. I felt that adrenaline rush sweep over me and turn into fire deep inside. I was unbelievably horny, and although I knew exactly what I wanted, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to get it tonight. I didn’t want to take him home yet, regardless.
“Let me feed you. We need to counteract the bad vodka with a greasy burger or something. Sound good?”
I was rewarded with his beautiful smile.
Aaron pointed me toward a diner near his place that served all night. We ordered a huge plate of chili cheese fries to share and a pitcher of ice water.
“I love these fries, but I’m on a green diet starting tomorrow. Or I mean when I wake up. I can’t believe how late it is. Way past my bedtime! I figured I’d go to my tame little work party, exit before I had the chance to embarrass myself in front of my coworkers, and then hang out with Jay for a while until Peter got home. Who knew I’d be swept away to a hetero bar to listen to top-forty music performed live and in concert in part by none other than the guy who whisked me away? A first for me.” Aaron raised a chili fry in salute. There was a wicked gleam in his eye, so I knew he actually had enjoyed himself. I was suddenly very happy I’d gone with instinct this evening. It had been a lot of fun.
“Jay is your friend? Peter too?” We didn’t know much about one another, but he’d met a few of my friends already, well, in passing anyway, and I didn’t know anything about his.
“Mmm-hmm. Jay is my best friend, and Peter is his partner. In the land of gay, they are what I would wish for one day. They’ve been together almost five years and they just get each other. Peter is a very successful lobbyist, and he’s super busy during election season, so I get to spend more time with Jay now than I usually would. I mean, we go to the gym and get coffee and that sort of thing all the time, but evenings are usually couple time or third-wheel time. Which I am all too familiar with.”
I wanted to steer the conversation away from couple anything, so I asked Aaron about his other friends and other hobbies.
“Well, I run.”
“Run? Like jog or do marathons? What do you mean?” I prompted. I couldn’t help noticing that he definitely had a runner’s lean physique.
“Yes to all. I do a lot of half marathons and 10Ks because I don’t have the time to train for a full marathon. But my goal is to do the New York marathon next year and maybe qualify for the Boston the following year. Jay and most of my other friends that run are more into social running. Jay talks the whole time he runs and he tops out at three miles. You can’t get any serious training done with that kind of ethic, but it’s a great way to spend time with your friends if they’re willing, so how can I complain?” He stopped to take a big gulp from his water glass.
“So, rain or shine? Or gym on days you don’t run?”
“Every day or at least six days a week. I go to the gym for light weight lifting, and let’s be honest, to check out the eye candy.” He wiggled his eyebrows and looked positively adorable. It was all I could do not to touch him somehow. “Do you run?”
“Well, once in a while. I actually did a couple of miles last week, but mostly I work out at the gym and play a pickup game with friends on weekends when I can.”
“Pickup game?”
“Yeah, basketball usually, but sometimes baseball or football too.”
“Those sound a little dangerous, Matty. That’s why I like running. Put your favorite tunes on, get your running shoes, and just go. And go.”
“So you’d rather not talk for three miles, although how your friend can talk and run for that long shows some insane stamina if you ask me, right?”
“Ha! Yeah, Jay’s got stamina. Well, I guess we’d have to ask Peter about that. I love running with friends, but I admit that I get in a zone when I run alone, and I can go for long stretches. Miles really.”
“How many? I mean, what’s the farthest you’ve ever gone before?”
Aaron wiggled his eyebrows suggestively again. He had a silly expression, which I think was meant to be lascivious, on his beautiful face. Instead, it was just fucking cute.
“What are you really asking me, Matty?” he teased. I gave him my best blank stare in response. Aaron sighed theatrically and took another long drink of water before answering me.
“Once I had just come home from visiting my family after some holiday or other and I just… I don’t know, they’re great, don’t get me wrong. But they stress me out sometimes. I must have run sixteen miles when I got home. I didn’t clue in until it got dark. See, it’s a little like therapy.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Everyone has their way, I guess.”
“Sex would always be my first choice, but since it isn’t always an option, I run.” Aaron fluttered his eyelashes at me. He was flirting shamelessly, but I got the message it was to steer away from any chat about family. Sex talk as a diversion. Interesting, but also distracting.
By the time I took him back to his place, it was 3:00 a.m. The usually busy streets were virtually empty. A fine layer of fog from the river painted the low-lying shrubs and sidewalks in front of his building. It looked a little mystic and magical, as though the early morning hour still held promise. I pulled close to the curb, set the car in park, and turned toward my companion. I didn’t want to say good-bye, yet I didn’t know where this thing between us could go. I felt that familiar wave of frustration.
“Can I walk you up? I mean it. I just want to be sure you’re safe.” It sounded like a lame request, but Aaron seemed pleasantly surprised.
“You are a gentleman, aren’t you?” His eyes twinkled. “I won’t say no, and I’ll try to keep my hands to myself. There’s a parking spot up there. Take it so you don’t get a ticket.”
I parked the car as instructed and met Aaron at the curb. His smile lit his entire face. God, he was beautiful. He took my arm when I reached his side. I didn’t protest, though the gesture seemed overly familiar. It just felt amazing to have this beautiful creature at my side looking at me like I was some kind of hero for offering to walk him to his door.
There was a bright lantern light on above the old glass and iron front door. Aaron couldn’t get the latch to catch, so I took the key from him and gave it a try.
“It sticks sometimes,” he muttered under his breath.
It opened easily for me. I was beginning to think my levels of chivalry were being tested. The thought made me grin when I should have been annoyed.
“You’re my hero!” he whispered loudly.
“Knock it off. Where is your place?”
“Uh-oh, Matty’s getting mad. Watch out, kids.” Aaron pointed to the elevator off to the right. The corridor was not as well lit as the front alcove had been. I was actually glad I was making sure he was safe. I was a little nervous myself. Which must have shown on my face, because Aaron laughed outright as the elevator doors opened.
“Relax, sweetie. This isn’t the Bates Motel. It’s just an old building. Supposedly historic, but really it just means the lighting is poor and the water pressure is worse. My apartment is cute, though. Come see. You’re safe.”
I rolled my eyes this time but gamely followed him.
His apartment was on the fifth floor. He led me down another long hallway and stopped in front of 5E.
“Home sweet home,” he said with a flourish as he opened his door. “Come make sure there are no bogeymen and then I promise to let you go, Matty.”
Aaron turned on a light and breezed through his small entry into a larger living room. As I followed him, I took in my surroundings. The apartment was small, with an open floor plan. A tiny galley kitchen was situated to the right, with a small pass-through to the living room, which was five steps away from a small breakfast table with two chairs. The furniture was sparse, but that was probably best in the small space. I could tell it was all good quality and that his taste ran to modern design. The walls were painted white on one side and dark gray on the other, with a huge picture window showcased in between. The sofa was a lighter shade of gray, pushed against the dark-gray wall and strewn with bright pillows in red, orange, and yellow. It looked like one of those hip knock offs of a classic modern design that appeared cooler than it was comfortable. There was a huge black-and-white photograph of the Brooklyn Bridge above the sofa and a sleek flat screen TV along the opposite wall. The flat screen had to rival the one in my own apartment. My roommates and I had all chipped in on the largest model we could afford for optimal sports viewing. I smiled at the memory of Aaron telling me about all the reality television programs he watched.
I could see into his bedroom from the living area, and although it was dark, I could see the bed was neatly made. Aaron’s entire apartment was immaculate. And the juxtaposition of his modern tastes and the apartment’s older features, like the high ceilings and a floor heater, made for a homey and comfortable space. It was nice, and it suited Aaron perfectly.
Aaron threw his keys in the egg-shaped bright-orange bowl on his small kitchen table and turned around with his arms outstretched.
“Well, it’s tiny, but it’s all mine. As long as I pay the rent, that is.”
“It’s really nice. Suits you.” I felt awkward as I stuffed my hands back in the leather jacket Aaron had returned to me earlier.
“Thanks for walking me up. That was very gentlemanly of you. Is that a word? Whatever, it was sweet.”
His smile was a little shy, and his bangs had fallen back into his eyes. This time I couldn’t help myself. I reached out to move his hair away from his eyes. He looked up at me in surprise, and my breath caught. We stared at one another for a second more before our mouths met. The kiss was sweet. Just a good night kiss until he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I moaned out loud and met his tongue with my own. And just as suddenly, the kiss turned urgent. I ran my fingers through his dark hair and cupped his neck with my other hand. I wanted him as close to me as possible. His lips were the perfect combination of soft and pliant. He moved his hands underneath my jacket and pulled my T-shirt out of my jeans. I felt his cool touch on the sensitive small of my back and shivered as he splayed his hands over my bare skin.
Our mouths were moving in a frenzy. I kissed and licked along his jawline, nibbled at his ear, and finally licked a path along the smooth skin of his neck. His cheek had the smallest trace of stubble. The light abrasion was intoxicating. I licked and sucked my way across his clavicle, unbuttoning his shirt to get to his skin. I heard him moan aloud. His hands caressed down my sides and made their way to my crotch. He lightly cupped me through my jeans and then took a firmer hold, as if waiting for my reaction. I held my breath as he unbuckled my belt, unzipped my jeans, and wrapped his long fingers around my shaft. My lips were at his throat, and I bit him lightly as he moved his palm up and down over my boxer-briefs. I cupped his ass, grinding our bodies close with his hand caught in between. He pushed me back an inch to gently move his hand inside the elastic of my briefs.
His bare hand on my naked cock was nearly my undoing. I was rock hard and desperate for friction. I reached out to bring him close again, but he resisted. I opened my eyes, not realizing I’d closed them in the heat of passion. He looked up at me, his lust-filled eyes half-closed, and kissed me once more with his tongue before he sank to his knees in front of me.
I could barely catch my breath, let alone think straight, and I felt perilously close to fainting when he kissed the head of my dick. It was just a touch of lips to that most sensitive skin. Just a tease. He pushed my jeans further down my shaky legs and kneaded the muscles of my ass as he opened his mouth to swallow my entire length. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to concentrate on not coming, but I had to see him. He looked up at me, licked at the precum dripping from my slit, and moved one of his hands around to fondle my balls. He ran his tongue over one ball and then the other before returning to suck wildly on my cock. I could see his head bobbing up and down and feel the sweet, wet suction of his luscious mouth. I ran my hands through his hair, encouraging his motion, but I knew I was in danger of coming soon. I could feel that familiar tingle at the base of my balls and knew I had to warn him I was about to shoot.
“Aar, Aaron… I’m gonna. You need to stop.” My voice sounded so strangled, I wondered if he heard me.
And then I came. I shook with the force of it and held onto his shoulders for support. He swallowed and swallowed, then licked. His eyes were closed but his expression was a gorgeous mixture of lust and bliss. When he looked up and opened his beautiful hazel eyes, he gave me that amazing smile.
I laughed. It was sheer beauty. The perfect melding of all the senses. I wanted to thank him, but really, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now. Return the favor? I’d never sucked a guy off before. I would do it, though, if Aaron wanted me to. At that very moment, I would have done anything Aaron wanted.
He got back to his feet and looked up at me. He kissed me gently, but I needed more than a chaste peck. I licked at his mouth until he opened up for me, and I tasted myself on his tongue. It was exhilarating. I couldn’t believe what had just happened here.
“Good night, Matty.” I opened my eyes quickly as Aaron broke the kiss and stepped away from me.
“Don’t you want me to….” I know I was blushing. I couldn’t even say the words out loud. I could feel the high from the most amazing orgasm I’d ever experienced crash around me, leaving me feeling more unsure and awkward than I’d felt in a years.
“No, you don’t have to… but thank you.” He moved toward his door and opened it as I struggled to get myself back together.
“Are you okay? Did I do… or not do something I should have?” I was stumbling and probably making a total ass of myself, but I had to know where we stood. I didn’t know him very well, but the desire to change that was instinctual. The problem was I needed his guidance. I was in over my head.
“Don’t be silly. You’re fabulous. And sexy as hell. But it is three, probably later now, in the morning and….”
“Yeah, sorry. You’re right. I’ll go now. Can I… can I call you?” I probably sounded desperate but wasn’t sure how to play it cool now.
“Sure. Yes. See you, Matty.” Aaron’s expression was guarded now. It was time to retreat, and he was right, it was really late. I’m sure I was no longer thinking clearly anyway.
I bent down and gently kissed him on the lips, then once again on his forehead before I turned and walked to the elevator. I looked back at his door once more while I waited and saw him leaning on the doorframe, watching me. He gave me a small wave and a tired smile before closing the door.
I kept my head as clear as possible as I rode the elevator down. The cool early morning air helped me keep calm. I reached my car, climbed inside, and felt the wall begin to crumble. I began to shake. I struggled to get myself under control, thinking at first it was just the cold from outside that had me shaking. The tears were harder to explain. What was I doing? I was a grown man sitting in my car crying after experiencing the most intense blow job ever. Oh, yeah… given by a man. I knew I had more to deal with now than cheating on my girlfriend. I needed to figure out who I was, what I wanted. Because I couldn’t deny I wanted Aaron.