Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ruby
I slink home. As in, I literally slouch to my car, drive home, and slouch into the condo, hoping against hope that it’s empty.
It is. Blessed be Saint Honoratus of Amiens.
He’s the patron saint of the bakers of wafers, and I learned about him when I was helping a fourth-grader with a report for his Catholic school.
I adopted him because my problems and causes feel so random and niche that a saint for wafer bakers felt right.
Anyway, Honoratus has my back, and no one else is home. I slink into my room, peel off my dress and leave it pooled on the floor, drop my shoes on top of it, and climb into the shower to seethe.
I do a good job of it, seething under the stinging hot water, seething as I blow-dry my hair on high because the violence fits my mood. I have gone from seething to sulking by the time I yawn and wish at least one of the besties was home to talk to.
What I am not is scared. Or stressed. Or anxious. I would be if this were a hopeless case, but it isn’t. I will not lose Charlie. This isn’t a situation where I have to figure out how to avert a crisis or rewire destiny to avoid a calamitous fate.
But I am frustrated that we can’t get on the same page at the same time.
That he’s convinced he knows how I feel.
That he’s so determined to protect himself that he’s planning an escape to Colorado, all to avoid the thing he claims to want most in the world: me.
And he’s burying it under rock puns and acting like it’s noble! I punch my pillow.
Maybe I’m not done seething.
How do I get through to Charlie? What words do I say, what argument do I make?
Right about now is when I could use a bestie.
To vent. Or plot. Or both. But I already wore out Ava earlier at my parents’ house, and maybe I need to sleep on it.
Sometimes I go to bed with a problem on my mind and my brain fixes it so I know exactly what I need to do when I wake up.
I nestle into my bed, turn off the lamp, and I yank my covers up to my chin like they’ve wronged me and all my ancestors.
At some point, I fall asleep because the next thing I know, Ava is standing at the foot of my bed giving my foot a gentle shake.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” she says.
I pry my eyelids open and try to bring her fuzzy shape into focus. I consider her order and decide to pass, pulling my pillow over my head instead.
“Went great with Charlie, huh?”
“How’d you guess?” I mumble.
“The lack of euphoric texts telling me I’m going to be your maid of honor made me suspicious.”
I scoff beneath the pillow.
“Come out. Roommate meeting. We’ve got strong coffee and donuts.”
I lift the pillow. “I can’t eat donuts in the morning.”
“Which is why they’re for us and we got a breakfast burrito for you,” she says, smiling.
I get up and pad after her, barefoot and braless in my comfort pajamas.
Madison gives a soundless whistle when I emerge from the hall behind Ava. “It’s the PMS pjs. Get a second cup ready, Sami,” she calls toward the kitchen.
“Not PMS. Worse than PMS.”
“Boys can be,” Sami says. “Don’t start, I’m coming.”
Madison scooches up to make room for me on the sofa. Ava takes her favorite chair. Sami appears with a steaming mug and a burrito on a plate, then settles into the other armchair.
None of them says anything as I take my first sip. They all watch me quietly, like they have all the time in the world.
After two more sips and a bite of the burrito, I lean back and close my eyes. “I love y’all.”
“You love coffee,” Sami teases.
“True.” I straighten again. “And Charlie.”
She and Madison trade a look, and then Madison whoops. “Yes!”
Sami looks over at Ava. “Is this for real?” When Ava nods, Sami whoops too.
“Besties,” I say, over the noise, then point at my sad face.
“Tell us,” Madison says.
I recap the library tea, Niles showing up (Sami hisses), the kiss (Madison demands a dramatic re-enactment, which I ignore), Charlie leaving, my conversation with my parents, and my visit to Charlie.
“He’s right,” Sami says. When I glare at her, she only shrugs. “No one hates Colorado.”
“Great exit line about the figurative doors, though,” Madison says, and Ava and Sami both agree. “Nerdy and on point.”
“So what now?” Ava asks.
I sigh and set down my mug. “Now I give you the bad news. I’m sorry, but you all lost the bet, and you need to help me figure out how to get Charlie.”
It’s quiet for a couple of seconds. Too quiet. I pin Ava with a stare.
She allows herself a slow, evil smile. “The thing is, Ruby, we all won.”
I glance to Sami, who smiles, then to Madison, who shakes her head like she pities poor Ruby.
“Madi.” My tone leaves no doubt it’s an order.
“We lied about the bet,” she says.
“There was no bet?” That’s . . . a twist.
“There was a bet,” Sami says. “We just lied about what it was.”
Eh . . . I’m going to need more coffee. I reach for my mug and wait. It’ll be Madison. She’ll have been behind whatever this is, and she’s dying to tell me. It takes two sips.
“The endgame was always you and Charlie,” Madison says.
See?
“We knew he knew it,” she continues. “We gave him a chance to let us orchestrate everything, but he wouldn’t do it.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“The day of the engagement post,” Ava says. “That was the catalyst. We knew that would be our best chance to get you moving, so we staged an intervention with Charlie at Oliver’s place.”
“The mind boggles.” It really does. I’m not sure I want to know, but I need to know. “Explain.”
“Oliver invited him over for the game, but we were waiting for him,” Sami says. “We offered our services to get you together. But he said no.”
“We thought he might,” Ava says.
“He played it like you were just friends, and we were imagining things.” Madison shakes her head in disbelief. “Doesn’t he have seventeen sisters? He should have known we’d see right through that.”
“Three,” I say. “But point taken.” Poor Charlie.
It was overwhelming for each of my besties when they first discovered they’d been the sole focus of my matchmaking powers, and they know me better than anyone.
But for Charlie to have all three of them gang up on him?
Growing up with sisters may be the only reason he survived it.
“Anyway, we let him think he convinced us,” Ava says.
“Then it was time to turn our attention to you.” Sami shakes her head. “It was a bigger challenge because you’re difficult.”
I interrupt a swallow to object. “I am not.”
“You are,” Ava says. “We knew you would be. We had to figure out how to make you see that you and Charlie were meant to be, but we couldn’t agree on a strategy. Ridiculous, since I’ve known you the longest. We could have been done with this weeks ago.”
“Yours was the worst one,” Madison says.
When Ava looks like she’s about to argue, Sami jumps in. “Anyway, we decided we’d each try our own plan. The winner is whoever’s plan worked. So was it mine? The song? Getting you to a show together and singing about you so it forced you both to confess?”
I set the mug down with a thump. “I owe you for that.”
Sami correctly infers that I mean payback, not thanks, and scoots her armchair another foot out of reach.
“It was mine, right?” Madison says. “Getting y’all to do the Pitch-a-Friend about each other so you were basically listing the reasons you’re in love with each other?”
I turn to her, my jaw dropped. “You bailed on that intentionally?”
“Yeah. Oliver and I went to a movie.” She looks smug.
“Partial credit, I guess, because you only got Charlie to do it. The crowd got me to do it.”
She purses her lips and coos at me like she does with her cats. “That’s so cute you think that. I paid the event host fifty bucks to make sure it happened.”
I am aghast, my jaw fully dropped now. But also, I am impressed. I shut my mouth and salute her. Moving on to Ava, I narrow my eyes and consider her self-satisfied smirk.
“Let me guess,” I say. “You came up with the idea of making me go on a bunch of dates purely as revenge.”
“Of course, bestie.” She doesn’t look remotely apologetic. “You did it to me.”
“So it was mine, right?” Madison asks. “Mine was the one that worked?”
I look at each of them, considering. “What does the winner get?”
“To be maid of honor at your wedding,” Sami says.
“And your firstborn will be named after us, so you’re golden as long as it’s me or Sami,” Madison says. “If it’s Ava, you better hope you have a girl first.”
I sigh and look at Ava. “What’s the real prize?”
She gets up and walks into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bedazzled baseball hat and a pageant sash. She turns them for me to read.
Both of them say Best Bestie.
“You made these?” I guess, studying the turquoise and white color scheme.
Ava shrugs. “Of course. This is one of my best colors.”
“Too bad they’re mine,” Madison says.
“Um, did either of you write a magical song?” Sami demands. “Gimme it.”
“Not so fast,” I say. “Charlie and I aren’t together.”
“Yet,” Madison says, like it’s the most minor detail.
I sweep them all with another glance. “So what I’m hearing is that you’re going to help me figure this out?”
“Of course,” Sami says. “My tour starts soon, so I’ll have to mostly be moral support long-distance, but I’ll do anything I can.”
“Remind me when you leave?” I ask, like I don’t have that date shaded red in my calendar.
“Ten days?”
Eleven, but close enough. “Then we better come up with a plan quick.”
“Don’t stress,” Madison says, waving her phone. “I looked it up and Charlie’s classes won’t start until the end of August. We’ve got ti . . .” She sees my face and trails off.
“No. He’s not going to Colorado. I also looked, and UT’s grad program is ranked higher. We solve this now, and this is the best week because we have a conference together where we will actually be in the same building for three days.”
“Houston,” Ava says. “That’s right.”
“Yes. After that, I’m not sure how easy it will be, especially if he stays at the central library. He’s so good at avoiding me that it hurts my feelings.”
“Don’t put too much pressure on the conference,” Sami says. “Y’all are meant to be. It will work out, even if it’s not this week.”
I give her a long, silent look.
Ava clears her throat. “I think what Ruby is saying is that she has no interest in waiting.”
“All right, then,” Madison says. “Ruby, can you pick up your mug?”
I lift it from the coffee table while Madison goes and gets the hat and sash from Ava. She sets them on the table and frowns. “I need more stuff.” She adds a few throw pillows. “Perfect. I’ve always wanted to do this.”
Then she leans over and swipes all of it to the floor. “All right, team. It’s time to make a plan.”