Betting on the Brainiac: a Sweet Romantic Comedy

10. Chapter Ten

Josh’s eyes lock with Sami’s, and Joey looks at Ava, concern on both their faces.

For a moment, I feel a sense of isolation. A few months ago, Sami and Ava would have traded glances with me first.

I shift up to my knees. “Ava, you and Joey probably need to handle this.”

He’s already up and holding his hand out to pull Ava up too. “We’re on it.”

They leave and Josh climbs onto the end of the bed. “I’ve never heard Ruby slam a door. How bad is it?”

“I’ve never heard her slam a door either,” Sami says.

I shake my head. “Ditto. So it’s bad.”

Josh tilts his head. “What is bad in this scenario? A breakup?”

“Anything that makes Ruby sad.” My voice is grim, and I know it.

“I thought none of you like Niles.” Josh sends Sami a questioning look.

“We don’t.”

This doesn’t seem to clear anything up for him. “So don’t we want a breakup?”

“Only if Ruby did the dumping,” I tell him. “Which I’m sure she did. She’s smart.”

“Smart enough to date that guy for five years?” Josh holds up his hands to ward off the murderous looks Sami and I send him. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen her not be smart about.”

I huff. “Because that’s true, I will not punish you for saying it.”

We fall quiet, listening. Ruby’s voice is higher and louder than usual—loud enough to sense she’s angry, but not loud enough to hear why. Her outbursts are punctuated by soothing tones from Ava.

Then there’s a loud outburst from Joey. “That maggot!”

Sami and I trade wide-eyed looks, and I take a tiny bit of guilty pleasure that she looked at me first.

I slide off the bed. “That was the bestie signal.” She’s already following me out, Josh bringing up the rear.

In the kitchen, Ruby is sitting at the table looking like her expensive dinner is about to come back up. Ava is rubbing circles on Ruby’s back, and Joey is pacing and speaking filth under his breath, but not far enough under because I hear it—and appreciate it.

“You fight?” Joey snaps at Josh.

Does Josh, the prep school grad and law firm darling pretty boy, fight?

Josh shrugs. “I can, yeah.”

Sami shoots Josh a quick glance that says his willingness to throw down will be handsomely rewarded.

“Get in line, boys,” I tell them. “Her BFFs will want a word with the dirtbag first.”

Joey scoffs. “This is big brother business. What are you going to do, insult him into submission?”

“Yes.” Ava’s voice is so calm only an idiot wouldn’t realize she’s the far-worse threat.

Joey pauses and exchanges looks with Josh. “Fair enough.”

“Niles didn’t propose,” Sami says, her voice even as she states the obvious.

Ruby gives a sharp laugh that lacks an ounce of humor.

We fall into silence, waiting for a cue from Ruby about what she needs right now. After a minute, she sighs and straightens, watching Joey pace across the kitchen twice before she speaks.

“Niles proposed,” she says with the most tired sigh I’ve ever heard.

Joey stops. “You said you broke up.”

“We did.”

Sami’s fingers switch to drumming on Ruby’s knees. “I’m . . . confused.”

“Me too,” Ava and I say at the same time.

“He proposed,” Ruby says. “It’s not like we haven’t talked about it over the years. We were on the same page as far as kids and timing and all of that. I liked knowing what was coming and when. But I also liked that when I knew tonight might be the proposal, I was surprised. We haven’t talked about rings. I liked that he was being semi-romantic.”

I don’t like giving Niles credit for anything, and right now I want to kick his stupid shins.

“I know you guys don’t like him,” she says. “I’ve heard you call him NilesQuil.”

Sami and Ava exchange guilty looks.

Josh clears his throat. “Permission to question the witness? I think better this way.”

Ruby heaves another sigh. “Sure.”

“Joey, go stand in the doorway over there. Pretend you’re the bailiff.”

My hand shoots up. “Can I be the judge? Niles is guilty.”

“No, Madi. He’s only the bailiff so he’ll stop pacing,” Josh says. Joey makes an annoyed noise, but he goes to lean against the door. “Ruby, how long have you dated the defendant?”

“Five years.”

“And when did the subject of marriage first come up?”

“Senior year,” Ruby says. “We decided it would be good to get established in our careers before we got married.”

“And what is the defendant’s profession?”

“You don’t know this?” I ask Josh.

“No,” he says, “because the dude never wants to have a conversation.”

“He’s a CPA,” Ruby says.

“Has he been settled in his career for at least a year?” Josh asks.

“Yes.”

“And you? Would you say you’re settled at the library?”

“Yes.”

“Prior to tonight,” Josh continues, “when was the last time the subject of marriage came up?”

As far as I know, as an attorney, Josh works behind the scenes on contracts and deals, so he doesn’t ever have to question witnesses. I suspect this has nothing to do with “helping him think” and everything to do with distracting Ruby, and for that, I give him another million brownie points. He’s a good guy.

“Maybe around Christmas?” Ruby squints her eyes, like she’s looking into the actual past for the answer. “Christmas, yeah.”

“And what was the context of that discussion? Who brought it up?”

Ruby’s nose twitched. “He did. He said it would be nice when we got married because we wouldn’t have to do every Ramos family birthday dinner anymore.”

Joey growls and Ava gasps. “How dare he? Bailiff, beat him up,” she says.

Josh makes a settle-down gesture, but when we do, he looks at Ruby and gives her a kind of Sorry, I tried look. “I can’t do this. There is no way to defend that dude.”

For a split second, a half smile curves Ruby’s lips. “Fair.”

“Sweetie, tell us what happened tonight,” I say, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze, “but pause a lot so we can do outrage and name calling.”

Ruby rubs her hands over her face and drops them back into her lap. “We order our meal. We eat. When he finishes his steak, he says, ‘It’s time to get married.’ Like that.”

Sami sucks in her breath through her teeth, and it sounds like a hiss.

“Even that probably wouldn’t have been so bad,” Ruby says. “Part of what I like about Niles is that he’s very low drama.”

One woman’s low drama is another woman’s bored to death . . .

“But he starts laying out all this other stuff like I’d already agreed to it,” she says. “He tells me that we’ll save for a year and have a small wedding”—Joey starts laughing, but Ruby talks over him—“and we’ll request cash donations instead of wedding gifts. Then we’ll move to Lockhart—”

“Absolutely not,” I say. It’s fine. It’s also far and kind of boring.

“We’ll move to Lockhart because it’s the Austin suburb with the cheapest rent,” she continues. “We’ll get a one-bedroom apartment for two years and save. Then we’ll buy a house, and after that, we can start a family.”

Ava wrinkles her nose but says, “I can’t fault him for his financial planning, but—”

“He says we’re buying the house in El Paso.”

“That bastard,” Ava finishes as calmly as she started.

“He told you all this?” Sami says. “He’d already decided?”

“Yes. Apparently, his parents will be retiring to El Paso in ten years, and he thinks we should live near them.”

“Your family is here,” Joey says. “El Paso is a two-year drive.”

“And their picante sauce sucks,” Josh jokes. Sami gives him a soft swat on the leg.

“That narcissistic, controlling—” I start, but Ruby cuts me off with a tired head shake.

“He’s not those things, but I have never felt less seen than I did sitting there, listening to this plan he hadn’t asked me about. The worst part is that I didn’t even say anything until he got to the ring.”

All of our eyes are drawn to her bare finger. She holds up her hand, waggling it. “Nothing to see here because he didn’t buy me one. He gave me a budget and told me to find a ring and put it on hold, and he’d go pick it up.”

“That’s so . . . Niles,” Ava says.

“This is where you tossed an expensive drink at him and walked out, right?” Joey asks.

“No, dummy,” Ruby says, her voice too subdued to have any bite. “This is where I told him that this wasn’t the path I had imagined, and it wasn’t the proposal I wanted.”

I rub her upper arm. “Good Ruby.”

“He wasn’t upset.” Her voice is small and distant. “He said he knew some girls want elaborate proposals but he knows because I’m low-key that I wouldn’t need any of that. He said that we work because we’re both reasonable people who appreciate order and that . . .” She trails off and closes her eyes. Then she draws a deep breath and finishes. “He said that my best quality is my predictability, and that he’s watched me mature over the last couple of years to the point that he felt like I’m ready for marriage.”

“He said you’re predictable?” I don’t have enough outrage for this insult.

“He decided you’re ready for marriage?” Sami says, her mouth half-open as she tries to process this.

“The man with the emotional depth of a puddle thinks he has you figured out?” Ava blinks. “His poor observational skills led him to reach a bad conclusion.”

“Listen to the scientist,” Josh says. “She’s an unimpeachable witness.”

“You ready, bro?” Joey asks.

“Yeah,” Josh says. “Question before we roll: what are we beating him up for?”

“Making my sister cry.”

“Get him, Joey,” I cheer.

“Settle down,” Sami tells them. “Let’s hear the end of this. What happened next, Ruby?”

“I got really, really mad,” Ruby says. “At myself.”

“You—at yourself—why—huh?” I ask.

She leans forward and props her elbows on the table. “I can’t believe it took me this long to see that he doesn’t know me. It’s humiliating.”

She holds out her hands to Sami as if asking to be pulled up, and Sami obliges. Ruby walks to the freezer. “I’m going to have ice cream. I’m not going to talk about this anymore tonight. Joey, don’t beat anyone up, but I will give you one million fake dollars if you’ll make me some nachos.”

“On it,” Joey says. He straightens and walks right out the door.

When Ruby’s back is turned, I look around at Ava, Sami, and Josh. Ava mouths, Bye, Niles, and we all trade a silent but very relieved fist bump.