Chapter 7
Tanner froze,fighting the craving that urged him on. This was Amanda, kind, caring, intelligent. But even that reminder didn’t help. He felt like an oversexed bull that couldn’t control his own need. Her words didn’t help, giving more than permission, demanding he fill her. It was more than he could resist.
Reaching between them, he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, something in the back of his mind telling him to stop, but unable to listen. He couldn’t even seem to let go of her hands as he pushed her jeans from her hips, not bothering to take them off her.
Pulling his cock out, he held it to her moist folds, still trying to retain some semblance of a man and not a beast. But her scent filled his nostrils and his hips pushed forward, sliding into her. He breathed in as he was surrounded by wet warmth. Entering her took the sharp edge off and allowed him to hesitate.
She wriggled against him and it took him a moment to realize she was attempting to toe-off one boot.
As much as he didn’t want to, he slipped out, pulling back far enough so she could slip off her boot. He held down her jeans as she pulled her leg out.
Before he could move his hips, that leg wrapped around him.
He didn’t need any more urging. Holding his cock, he pushed between her folds once more, but this time he slid all the way in. It was pure heaven. Then he pressed his hips harder against her, pressing her to the wall as he filled her until he was buried deep.
And still it wasn’t enough. He took her mouth with his, thrusting his tongue inside as he slid almost all the way out and back in.
She moaned, her foot pressing against his ass.
His balls tightened as need raced up his spine. Quickly, he moved his hand to her breast, pressed and squeezed her hard nipple gently as he thrust back in.
Tiny whimpers filled his mouth, urging him on. He thrust in again, harder this time and her hips met him halfway, sending him to the edge. He refused to come without her reaching her peak as well and he squeezed her nipple a bit harder.
She broke their kiss on a hiss, and her foot urged him back in.
Squeezing her nipple again, he thrust, and then again, and again, losing track of where he ended and she began, pulling them along together up a mountain of pleasure until her sheath tightened around him.
“Yessss!” Her cry as her body sucked at him, ignited his orgasm, and he pulsed into her, unable to stop.
It was pure bliss, taking him from physical being to something else, something filled with pleasure and joy. He wanted to stay forever, but his body expended itself.
Even as he slowly came to his senses, her rapid breaths brushing by his ear, he wanted nothing more than to hold her, keep her close, not let her go. As he released her wrists, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He gathered her tight against him and nuzzled her neck, the scent of vanilla mixing with their sex.
He wasn’t sure how long he held her, but she didn’t move, except for her chest as her breathing slowed. Finally, she lifted her head from his shoulder. “I don’t want to stop.”
Her words made his cock move inside her, and he pulled his head back to look at her. Darkness had fallen, but a slight purple still tinged the sky behind him and reflected on her face. Her lips were swollen from his kisses and her cheeks were flushed. “We don’t have to.”
She smiled. “Good. But maybe we could go to your room?”
At the realization he’d just had sex with her up against the wall of his home, he had to make it right. He wasn’t sure what had happened. He looked past her at the window not three feet from where they stood, and grinned. “Actually, this is my room. Just the wrong side of the wall.”
She laughed at that, which sent vibrations through both of them. She gasped. “Well, maybe we could continue on the other side of the wall?”
At first, he tried to reconcile the sweet Amanda who cared so much for others with the sexy vixen in his arms and couldn’t until he remembered her saying she wanted to live life to the fullest. He grinned at her, relieved that she may not have seen his rutting as an insult. “If you like, I’d be happy to use the other side of the wall.”
Again she laughed. “Oh, I don’t care where in your room, just as long as we are in there and not out here where Brody might come upon us when he arrives home. If I’m not mistaken, his truck lights would put us in a spotlight here.”
He looked over his shoulder to see that she was right. She was right about a lot of things, and they really should move, but he didn’t want to leave her warmth. He moved his hands under her bare ass. “Then hike that other leg up on my hip and we can go inside.”
Her eyes rounded and then her smile widened. “I like the way you think.” In the next instant, her other leg wrapped around his waist.
Unfortunately, his jeans had fallen to the tops of his thighs. With one hand at a time, he pulled them up far enough to be able to walk and quickly moved to the front door. Hoping Isaac was busy with his father, he got them inside and into his room without being seen.
“Wow, you’re good. Now which wall is it?” She looked behind her as if she could figure it out.
But he wasn’t taking her on a wall again. He moved to his king size bed and sat near the pillows, not far from the plain walnut headboard which was about as tall as he was sitting there.
She gave him a sly smile. “You know, eventually, we’ll have to separate.”
He frowned, not liking that idea at all.
Her brows raised. “I didn’t mean now. Lie back. It’s my turn.”
Intrigued, he did as she said, his feet still planted firmly on the floor.
She leaned to her left, bringing one knee to the side of him before leaning to the right to do the same with the one that still had her jeans and boot on. “Now, you just relax and let me ride.”
At her announcement, his cock inside her moved again and her eyes widened.
“Oh, you like to be ridden. Who would have thought?” She pressed both her hands on his chest to move into the perfect position.
He laid his hands on her hips as she adjusted, her movements causing him to start to harden inside her. Surprised by that, but not about to question his sex drive at the moment, he lifted his chin. “Let’s see what you can do from there.”
“Now that sounds like a challenge.”
He grinned, thoroughly enjoying this sexy side of her.
“Do you have voice command lights?”
He shook his head. “No. Why would I? I’m perfectly capable of turning on my own lights.”
She chuckled. “Of course, what was I thinking? But in this position, you aren’t capable, are you?”
“I can if you want me to.” He didn’t mind moving with her sitting on him.
She shook her head. “No, no. I can reach the lamp.” Leaning over, she proved she could, and a mellow glow filled the room. “That’s better. I want to see you.”
He was far more interested in seeing her, but since she had accepted his command of her body so willingly, he would do the same for her.
“First things, first. We have on too many clothes.”
He silently agreed, even as she shucked off her unbuttoned shirt and threw it on the floor. Then she pulled off her bra and his abdomen tightened. Her breasts were each a perfect handful, the areolas colored a dark rose. He lifted his hand to touch her, and she grabbed it. “Nope, not yet.”
Not pleased by that, he began to seriously rethink letting her be in charge.
“Now your shirt.”
Guessing she expected him to take it off, he lifted his torso off the bed high enough to get his arms out, but that meant that he also lifted her up as well. When he had it off, he left it on the bed beneath him and dropped back.
“I do believe you have an eight-pack under there. That was impressive.” Her hands found his abdomen and she traced his stomach muscles with her fingertips, which had his cock taking notice inside her. She felt it because her lips quirked up, but she didn’t say anything.
Her hands moved past his abs and over his chest before resting on his shoulders. “I knew you had strength but I would have never guessed this much. I like it.” She smiled slyly as her hands moved to his nipples and she tweaked them.
His stomach muscles reacted as well as his cock.
“Oh, I like that.” She leaned over him and taking his head in her hands kissed him.
He tried to let her lead, but it just wasn’t in his nature and he soon invaded her mouth as he cupped her neck.
She pulled away a bit breathless. “Okay, I get it. You’re not the submissive type at all. I guess we can both be in control.” She sat up on him, which sent him deeper into her, something he was more than happy with.
Taking each of his hands in hers, she placed them on her breasts. “They’re all yours.”
He didn’t need any other coaxing to gently squeeze her perfect orbs before brushing her nipples with his fingers.
She pulled her arms back, arching into him, reaching her hands behind her to play with his balls.
Hell. Sharp shards of need shot through him. Quickly, he began to roll her hard peaks between his fingers.
Her eyes closed, and she started to move against him. Not up and down, but forward and back, and he understood her need.
With his feet planted on the floor, it was easy to lift his hips high.
Her eyes opened wide and she grabbed hold of his arms. Her hips continued the motion as her head fell back, her breathing coming in quicker pants.
He could feel her getting close as he held her there, keeping his attention on her even as his own need to release rose.
Her hands squeezed his arms hard just as she tightened around him and a high-pitched moan filled the room.
She was beautiful as she burst apart on top of him, her body rocking uncontrollably as she milked out every possible moment, but as her sheath began to relax, he brought his hips down and rolled her over.
The motion nestled him between her legs and he began to thrust, his own orgasm on his back, coming closer, and closer.
Then her hands gripped his ass and squeezed. That was the final touch that pushed his release past his control. As it swept through him like a haboob, he held her tight, knowing she was his anchor back to reality. Once he spent himself inside her, he finally pulled out and rolled to his side, trying to catch his breath.
She followed him and laid her head on his shoulder, but didn’t say anything, her own breathing still not quite normal.
His hand found her hip, and he held her against him, the position so natural, he didn’t think twice about it. There was something about Amanda that was like coming home. That made no sense, since he spent the better part of his life avoiding her. The last thing he’d expected was to have sex with her. But she was an attractive woman, despite being a Hayden. That had to be why he’d acted like a rutting bull. Who wouldn’t around such a vibrant, beautiful, adventurous woman? Coming inside her sweet― “Ah, hell.” Every muscle in his body tensed.
Her head came off his shoulder and her brows raised. “What? Did you forget something?”
He looked at her, unable to reconcile his actions. “I forgot protection. I always use protection.”
Her face relaxed. “Not to worry. I’m on the pill and haven’t had sex with anyone since my divorce, so you’re good. Believe me, after discovering my snake of a husband was cheating with his manicurist, I got tested immediately.”
He rolled away and sat up. “No, I’m not good. I’m always careful.” He turned his head to look back at her, somewhat dumbfounded. “Always.”
She sat up and moved to sit next to him, her bare legs, with her jeans and one boot dangling over the side of his bed. “Do you mean to say that somehow I distracted you and you forgot to be cautious?”
The excitement in her eyes had him standing, pulling up his jeans and walking to his dresser before turning to face her. “You don’t understand. I have to be careful, always, or people get hurt.”
Her brow lowered. “I’m not hurt. It’s okay.” She bent over and pulled off her boot, letting her jeans fall to the floor.
He shook his head. “It’s not okay. You don’t understand.”
She scooted back on the bed and sat with her legs crossed. “Then tell me. Help me understand.”
He stared at her, sitting absolutely naked, ready to listen. He didn’t remember the last time someone actually wanted to listen to him. She was too hard to resist on many levels. He bent down and picked up her shirt and handed it to her. “Fine. But put this on. I can’t talk and look at you naked.”
She grinned, appearing quite proud of herself, but she did as he asked. “Okay, I’m covered. Now tell me why you must always be careful.”
The problem was, he wasn’t sure if he knew how.
She could see Tanner struggling. His jaw worked as if he were talking with it closed, but no words came out. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and back again.
Her instinct told her this was important, and the fact he was willing to share it with her was not lost upon her. Could it be that he didn’t really know why? “When did you first realize you needed to be careful?”
His movements stopped as if she’d given him a place to begin. “I was nine.” He leaned back against his dresser, his gaze far away. “Devlin was eight and Jackson was seven. We were in the barn. A new hay delivery had come in and they were building forts with the bales. I, of course, was attempting to get the barn ready for more hay.”
The self-loathing in his smirk made her heart stop.
“I always had to be just like Dad. So I told them I was going up to move the bales in the loft, so he could bring more in after lunch. I thought I knew exactly how they should be organized.” He shook his head. “Dad and I will never agree on that.”
She bit down on a grin. It sounded as if Jeremiah and Tanner had started their contentious relationship very early on.
“So I went into the loft and started rearranging bales.” His gaze moved to her. “You have to understand, these bales were half my weight at the time, so it was more that I dragged and heaved to get them where I wanted them. There was really no lifting involved.”
She nodded, understanding completely. Even as a teenager, moving bales had left her with sore muscles.
His jaw clenched and he looked away again. “I wasn’t paying attention. Next thing I know, Devlin and Jackson are in the loft with me, moving bales around to create a fort. I told them they needed to get down. Dad didn’t allow anyone in the loft until they were nine. Jackson stuck out his tongue and said Dad wasn’t there and asked if I was going to be a tattletale. Devlin just shrugged and said he’d be nine in a couple of months so it didn’t matter.”
Tanner stopped talking.
She found herself clutching her hands together, her heart racing at what was to come. She’d completely forgotten there had been a Devlin Dunn, and her gut told her she was about to find out why.
Finally, he spoke again, but his voice had dropped in tone and volume. “One wall of their fort was near the edge of the hayloft. I was too busy being mad at them to pay attention. When I finally did, it was just in time to see Devlin throw a haybale on top of another, lose his footing, and fall into them sending them and him over the edge.” Tanner’s hands closed into fists. “Even as he yelled, I thought for sure he’d land on the hay and not the cement floor. I rushed to the edge, expecting him to be laughing, but he wasn’t. He didn’t move.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, not wanting to hear the inevitable end to the story, but knowing she had to. Her eyes began to water and her vision blurred.
“I climbed down the ladder and raced to him, but even at that age, I knew in my gut. His head was at a wrong angle. But I still hoped. I didn’t know he’d broken his neck.” Tanner looked up as if seeing the scene. “Jackson started yelling. Asking if he was okay. Demanding that Devlin be okay. I stood between Devlin on the floor and Jackson in the loft and told him to run and get Dad. As Jackson came down the ladder, I hunched over Devlin to keep Jackson from seeing, yelling at him to just get Dad.” Tanner’s shoulders slumped. “They said he died the second he hit the concrete.”
Tanner took a deep breath then finally looked at her. “It was my fault. I should have insisted they stay below where it was safe. Dad made that rule for a reason. I still don’t know why I let their name calling get to me. If I’d been man enough, Devlin would still be alive.”
She swallowed hard, knowing that crying for Devlin wasn’t what Tanner needed. “Did your parents blame you?”
His brows lowered. “No. They said it was an accident. But they weren’t there. Jackson told them everything and apologized, promising never to go in the loft again if only Devlin would get better. They took Devlin away in an ambulance, so even I had hoped, but a few days after the funeral, Dad told me the truth. Mom said I did everything right, but she was wrong.” He banged his fist against the dresser. “There were many things I could have done differently and if I had, I’d have Devlin here right now.”
Her heart ached for little Devlin, but even more for little and old Tanner. “I understand that feeling. That feeling like somehow in the past, if we could have just seen the future even though right now, we are clueless about it. If I had known that going to Cattail Cove and staying into dusk might cause me to get bit by a mosquito which would lead to me going into a coma, I would have chosen to leave earlier or not go at all. But I had no crystal ball. Still, it seems like just one small decision could have avoided it all.”
He crossed his arms. “You think that’s what I’m doing?” Everything about him said he was affronted from his scowl to his tense abdominals.
She leaned back on her hands and studied him. “Yes, that’s what you’re doing. You’re blaming yourself for something you couldn’t foresee. You can bring it back to the beginning of the day and say you should have told your dad that Devlin needed to stay home. Or better yet, you should have had the sugar puffs cereal instead of super wheats, so Devlin couldn’t have any, so he would throw a tantrum, and stay home with your mom instead of going out when the hay was delivered.”
“Men don’t throw tantrums.”
“No, but boys do. Any number of events could have prevented what happened, some of them in your control, some not. My guess is your father bears a far larger burden of guilt over that. It must have broken his heart to tell your mother.”
Tanner’s eyes widened as if that had never occurred to him.
She completely understood. It had taken her years before she thought about how her dad felt about her illness. When she found out he blamed himself, she’d blackmailed him into seeing a psychologist. It had definitely helped with his guilt. Not so much his ego though. “So yes, I believe you are blaming yourself for not being able to see the future.” She crossed her arms, not willing to budge on her opinion.
He stared at her a long time, then his shoulders relaxed and he uncrossed his arms. “I never thought of it in that light.” He walked back to the bed and sat on the edge. “You make me look at a lot of things differently.”
Ignoring the thrill his admission sent to her heart, she shrugged. “I do that a lot. It’s a curse.” She shrugged again and gave an exaggerated sigh.
“Wiseass.” He turned and pushed her back on the bed. “That must be why I’m looking at you differently now.”
Her heartbeat doubled at his admission, finding a similar feeling in her own. “You are?”
He grinned. “Yes, like the fact that you look even better without your shirt on.”
An odd stab of disappointment shot through her before she gave him a cheeky grin. “Well, I like looking at you better without your pants on, so there.”
His left brow raised. “Don’t you think we should look our best?”
She pushed him off her and sat up. “Bet I can undress faster than you.”
He jumped from the bed without answering, and she quickly pulled her shirt up over her head only to find him standing there in all his naked glory. And what glory it was.
Amanda woke with her head on Tanner’s shoulder and her leg thrown across his. Even as she recognized her surroundings, her tension eased. Should she have stayed the night with a Dunn? No. Was she thrilled, happy, and satisfied she did? Absolutely. She grinned. They had made love two more times, talking in between. He’d even gone to the kitchen naked and made her a midnight snack. No man had ever done that for her.
She wasn’t sure which she enjoyed more, the conversations or the lovemaking. She’d like to think of it as just sex, but she knew what she was feeling. She was falling in love with Tanner Dunn. It was not a good thing on so many levels. First, he was a Dunn. Second, she was his father’s therapist. Third, he was a cowboy, the kind of man she promised herself years ago she would never fall for after seeing how her brothers were with women and after dating a couple cowboys before deciding to go to college.
If Tanner was such a terrible choice, then why did she feel happier than she did on her graduation day, wedding, day, and divorce day all combined? Probably because he was a good man. Okay, so he was a stubborn ass too, and sometimes she felt like banging his head against the wall, especially her first month dealing with him. But those moments had lessened, and he did seem to respect her input more now. He also had more compassion than she usually saw in a man. He even listened to her. No, he didn’t always agree with her, but he did listen and think about what she said, even changing his mind on occasion. The fact that he’d listened to her views on his guilt over his brother Devlin showed real character.
His story did reveal a lot about the man. He was a protector. It explained why he felt responsible for his dad’s stroke, as if he could have prevented it, and why he’d yelled at her for racing. It must have made him both angry and nervous when she and Maximus found the snake. He wanted everyone to stay safe, and it wasn’t surprising after his brother’s death, his mother’s death, and his father’s stroke. As the oldest, he already had that “responsible” gene. She knew what that was like. It was hard to shake.
But Tanner had responsibility to the tenth power. She understood him so much more now. He was so opposite of her ex. Claude was all about himself. He could have cared less that she could ride or that she had her own career. She was his arm candy and his ticket to important people who could help him advance. It was odd that she’d married someone so much like her own mother even though she had only been eleven when her mother left her father.
Tanner though not only appreciated her career, but understood it and thought she was quite good at what she did. He was the first man to pay attention to that and it meant a lot more than she realized.
His hand, which rested on her hip, moved, idly stroking her. She kept her breathing as normal as possible, curious what he would do.
“Manda.” He whispered the word as if to see if she were awake. “Manda, we need to get up.”
She snuggled her face against his chest and held him tighter, her knee rising to brush against his package.
His whole body tensed at her touch. “Amanda, time to wake up.” This time his voice was normal except for the slight gruffness underlying his tone.
“Hmm.” She lowered her leg but stroked her hand over his hard chest. “Do I have to? I had the best dream.”
“You can tell me all about it at breakfast.”
She looked up at him. “Oh, I don’t think my dream would be very good table conversation.”
His sudden intake of breath expanded his chest beneath her hand. “Then we’ll save it for another time.” He patted her hip. “If you want, you can sleep longer. I have to shower and get to work.” He lifted his arm from around her and rolled out from under her head and leg. Throwing the blanket off him, he rose, relaxed in his nakedness.
She rolled over, leveraging herself on her elbows to look her fill. “Hmm, now that’s a morning view I can enjoy.” She licked her lips purposefully, thrilled to see his half-erection jerk.
He stepped toward the bed and bent over it. His hand slipped behind her head as he kissed her thoroughly. Then he stepped back while she tried to slow her racing heart. “I’ll be back.” Though his words were innocent enough, his voice had deepened after his kiss.
“Thanks for the warning.” She winked at him.
He just shook his head and walked out the door butt naked before closing it.
Throwing the covers off, she jumped from the bed and grabbed up her shirt. Luckily, she had toiletries in the truck since she never knew when she’d go to a friend’s after being out and about. That’s where her clothes for last night’s date came from. They weren’t her usual uniform for her day’s work, but they were clean. Pulling on her jeans, she looked around for her other boot. Where was―oh. It had to be outside. Even as she remembered how anxious Tanner had been to have her, her whole body warmed. There was something about being wanted for her and no other reason that had her smiling.
Leaving her one boot in the room, she walked out of the room barefoot and padded down the hall before stepping out the front door. The cool morning air was dry but pleasant as the sun had not peaked over the mountains yet. Walking along the front porch, she stepped off at the end and made her way around the back. It didn’t take long to find her boot on its side against the adobe wall. She picked it up carefully and shook it to make sure it acquired no tenants in the night. She really didn’t want to share her boot with a tarantula, scorpion, or snake. She placed her hand against the wall. It was no longer warm, but it had been downright hot last night.
She should feel guilty about spending the night with Tanner. She must have it bad that she couldn’t imagine having walked away. Turning, she started toward the front of the house again. She could look at it as a one-night stand, but she’d be lying, and she didn’t lie. The question was, how did Tanner look at it? Was it a one-time thing or the start of something new? She shivered but not from the cold as her bare feet touched the stone that decorated the floor of the porch. She would just have to find out.
She jogged down the steps and strode across the dirt toward her truck. Quickly, she grabbed her toiletries and closed the door as quietly as possible. She returned to the porch and opened the front door, stepping inside. The smell of bacon greeted her and she inhaled, already growing hungry. Walking into the kitchen, she expected Tanner, but Brody was at the stove cooking. Oops. Quickly, she turned around and headed for the hall on silent feet.
“Amanda?”
Brody’s voice had her hesitating. Quietly, she set her boot down and peeked around the corner. “Morning, Brody.”
He stood there staring at her, the tongs in his hand dripping bacon grease onto the floor.
She pointed at the grease. “You better wipe that up. The last thing we need around here is someone falling and me having to provide more physical therapy.” She ducked back down the hall. As she passed the bathroom, the sound of running water greeted her. She halted, the thought of joining Tanner in his shower almost too hard to resist, but she grasped her boot to her chest and forced her feet to move to his room. Hopefully, there would be another time for that. He did say he wanted to hear about her sexy dream another time, so that had to mean there would be another time.
Keeping that thought close, she closed the door once inside his room and scanned the contents. Now, what else could she discover about the man who was so into safety but forgot the condoms when around her.