26. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
Jemima
“Why would you want me?” I ask, as the reality of what and where we’re doing this sinks in. It’s not in a tearful plea… No, I haven’t cried since my ex fucked me over. I swore I wouldn’t let another man have that kind of power over me.
I look down at my loose bra and briefs, taking in my small frame, and whisper one of my fears about us. “I’m too old for you.”
His hands skim the backs of my thighs, and I try to push away the demon on my shoulder telling me that they hold no muscle tone. When he reaches my ass, I can’t help but think about how it doesn’t compare to women in their thirties… Mine is practically non-existent. Pancake ass? Yeah, that’s me. Plus, I wear full briefs, the kind that hide my ugly C-section scar. I swallow the bile rising in my throat, feeling humiliated.
“You’re not too old for me,” he says, his hands moving up to my waist to hold me gently.
I wrap my arms around myself. “I am. I’ve had a kid.”
“So fucking what?”
Pain hits my chest. “I don’t have a body like a twenty- or thirty-year-old.”
“I don’t want them.”
I snort. “You have no idea what’s underneath here.”
He stands in front of me, gliding his hands from my ass, up my lower back, skimming the sides of my breast, until they reach my neck. Using his thumbs to tilt my head up, he forces me to meet his gaze. I expect to see revulsion, but what I find scares the fuck out of me… Raw, burning desire. The intensity makes my knees buckle, and I nearly collapse.
“Are you doing this because you feel sorry for me?”
Or to get my company…?
He shakes his head so slowly. His breath tickles my face as he leans in to kiss the tip of my nose.
“I don’t feel sorry for you.”
I stare at him, waiting for this to be a prank.
“Why are you doing this, then?” I ask, wondering if I’m just another number in his book of girls he’s fucked.
“Because you drive me mad.”
“Well, that’s no reason to kiss me.”
“Who says I’m going to kiss you?”
My mouth opens and closes, but no words come out.
“I won’t be kissing you again. This time, I will be consuming you.”
As much as I thought I didn’t want him, he's wormed his way through cracking splinters of the wall I built, proving himself to be different than any other guy.
“No?” I ask, as he grabs my hand from my waist and walks me to the big mirror.
As I stare at my hideous body in the reflection, he stands behind me. When he presses a warm, wet kiss on my left shoulder, it sends a shiver through me that makes my eyes roll back. His lips trail over my skin, each kiss igniting a spark, until he reaches my ear. Then he moves to the right, repeating the same tender touches. My head rolls from side to side, loving the sensation of his lips and care he’s showing me.
His fingers move to my bra, slipping the straps from my shoulders, as we hold each other’s gazes in the mirror. As the intensity rises so does my breath. The moment he unclasps my bra, it falls to the floor with a soft thud. My nipples pebble into tight buds from the cool air hitting my hot skin.
He rolls my nipples between his fingers, causing me to moan and arch into his firm pinch. I’m achy and desperate as he massages my breasts.
“Open your eyes,” he rasps hungrily.
I hesitate, but then follow his command, watching his hand glide down over my ribs until he touches the top of my cotton briefs. I focus on breathing and not on my prominent ribs, hips, bones, or worse, my scar.
When he pushes the briefs down, I don’t hear the sound of disgust. No, his chest rises and falls rapidly as he groans my name. I stand naked in more ways than one. The lights are on, and I’m pushing past all my fears with him. I can’t believe I didn’t ask for the lights to be turned off so he didn't have to see me.
His hands skim my thighs, hips and waist, and I watch as they touch my scar.
“Beautiful.”
I choke but quickly swallow the sound. His fingers are buttery soft and ticklish over my scar. He’s entranced by it.
“Chad came from here?”
“Yes. An emergency C-section.” My voice is shaky and distant like it doesn’t belong to me.
His hand leaves my waist and holds my stomach, while the other hand moves from my scar to the top of my pussy.
“Harvey,” I pant, desperate to put me out of my misery.
“What do you want, buttercup?”
“I want you to touch me,” I whimper.
A growl rips from his throat. “Fuck yes.”
His finger skims down to my clit, where he rubs it in slow, hard circles. When I’m a mess and begging for more, he moves his hand to slide through my wet pussy and he doesn’t pause until he sinks two fingers inside me.
“Oh my God. Harvey?” I call out. This feels like an out-of-body experience.
His thick fingers move in a drugging way that has me needy.
“Is this what you wanted? My fingers buried deep inside your pussy?”
He quickens his pace slightly and brings his two fingers high up and down along my front wall in a come hither. My legs tremble beneath him… He’s hit the spot. He doesn’t stop.
“Yes-s.”
“Good, because it's exactly what I’ve wanted to do to you.”
Goosebumps erupt across my skin and my walls tighten at his intruding fingers, my orgasm building.
“Your pussy is so hungry,” he grumbles in a deep, strained voice as he rubs my clit with the palm of his hand with every thrust of his fingers.
My body is vibrating, and my lower back is aching. I’m so close. He’s holding me tightly against him as my legs tremble. I can’t miss the way his erection rubs against my back. But he touches a part inside me, and I crumble. The noises coming out of me are so unfamiliar. Pure pleasure with a bit of pain. Tearing my heart into pieces. This is the moment I believe that this thing between us could be real. I can trust him. He’s picked me up and cared for me in more ways than one. It’s hard to deny my feelings any longer. He never put himself before me. No, my pleasure was what he wanted. And there's something so sweet that sparks a twinge inside my heart. Something I haven’t felt in a long time has come back alive.
Warm liquid hits my back, and a final spasm leaves me, knowing he came without me even touching him. There’s something extremely sexy and powerful, knowing he was that turned on by my body that he came just from fingering me.
Peering into the mirror, he pulls his fingers out of me and licks them clean, moaning my name. His face is erotic. I twist in his arms and bring my hands to his neck, as his hands settle on my hips. His heavy lust-filled eyes make my heart beat harder. I rise onto my toes, and we kiss… It's a slow, soft kiss. When we pull apart, he’s wearing the biggest boyish grin, and it makes it hard to stop a wide smile from taking over my face.
I run my hand through his messy hair. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” I admit, curling my fingers and tugging on it the way I’ve always wanted to.
“I knew you secretly loved it.”
He leans into my hand. “The first time I touched it at Oliver's gallery, I wanted to push it up and kiss you.”
He growls. “You should’ve.”
I drop my hands back to his neck. “No, tonight was perfect.”
“Yeah, it was, wasn't it.” He rests his forehead on mine, remaining silent as we catch our breaths and soak in this moment.
A few moments later, we pull apart to clean ourselves up and then the office. I expected it to be awkward, but it isn’t. We kiss and throw our clothes at each other, and the weightless feeling in my body makes me feel like a teenage girl with a school crush on the popular kid.
“When can we do that again?” he asks, after we’re both dressed and ready to leave.
This is when my reality of a single mom with minimal help hits me. “I don’t know.”
I hang up the phone with my realtor. I’m searching for a condo for Chad and me. It feels like a big step forward, but also a reminder of everything I’m juggling. Today, I need to find time to call the bank and fill out forms. Pushing the glass door, I take a deep breath, steady myself, and head into work.
“Why do you look different?” Molly's eyes narrow as she reads my face when I walk into work the next morning.
I quickly look down at myself, checking for any changes. “I don’t look different. You’re exaggerating.”
“Take a look at yourself.” Molly points to the small mirror on the wall.
I catch a glimpse of my reflection, and there’s a mess of flyaways on my head. I quickly smooth them down, but it doesn’t remove the fact I barely slept last night. I’ve replayed my night with Harvey repeatedly. I tossed and turned, remembering every touch, word and kiss, that by the time I fell asleep, I slept in and was late dropping Chad off.
I take the chair beside her desk. “Don’t say anything, but… last night, I was with, Harvs.”
“Must be serious if you're giving him a nickname,” she teases, raising her eyebrow and leaning in closer.
I lower my voice, glancing around as if someone?Harvey?might overhear. “No, I'm talking in code.”
Molly shrugs, a small smile on her lips. “Well, I like the nickname. And he’s not here, so tell me everything.”
My body temperature rises at the memory, and I struggle to find the words. “It was… mind-blowing. I’ve never been with a guy like him.”
Harvey is not like the men I’ve known, and I have to stop trying to make him fit that mold. He’s different… better . I can feel the shift inside me as I realize how much I’ve been holding him to an unfair standard, comparing him to the past, to the mistakes and disappointments that came with it. But Harvey isn’t that. He’s something more, something I’m not used to. It’s hard to let go of the walls I’ve built, but I can feel them crumbling a little each time he proves me wrong.
Her eyes widen as she sits back. “What do you mean?”
“He was solely focused on me… showering me with compliments and making sure I felt amazing the whole time. And his mouth… God, his words.”
Molly’s lip’s part, and the biggest smile takes over her face as her hands rub together. “Are we talking dirty talk, or…?”
I rub my temple, trying to will away my embarrassment and not be shy about how good he was. But I’m sure my face is bright red with the memory…
“Goddamn,” Molly says in awe. “I’ve always wanted a guy to do that without me having to ask.”
A shiver runs down my spine, the intensity still vivid in my mind. “I’ve never had that before. But it’s?”
“Hot,” Molly interjects.
“He wasn’t just saying it, he was showing me. It made my insecurities disappear, and I was able to fully enjoy the moment.”
Molly’s face softens, knowing what I mean. She’s aware of how insecure I’ve been about being a single mom because she is too.
“I’m so glad you found someone who can show you how gorgeous you are, my friend.”
I pull her into a hug. “Thank you.”
“I’m so happy for you,” she whispers in my hair.
I’m happy for me too. I just need to figure out how Chad works in this equation. I’m not ready to tell him I’m dating Harvey; it feels too soon. I want to take things slow with Harvey. But I can’t help but wonder: will Harvey want a long-term relationship with me, and will he be willing to take on Chad too?