Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Emily
It had been a long week, and I kept myself busy by burying myself in my work, working twelve-to-fourteen-hour days to keep my mind off of Jackson. Evelyn and Katie tried to get me to go out with them, but I didn’t feel like it. All I wanted to do was work and go home and sleep. I missed him so much, and this adjustment without seeing him was incredibly hard. My first heartbreak ever, and believe me when I tell you, I don’t ever want to experience it again. I now see why my mother went to great lengths to protect her heart after Gregory.
“Hey, Emily,” Katie spoke as she stuck her head in the backroom. “Jules is here to see you.”
“Thanks. Tell her I’ll be out in a second.”
She was the last person I wanted to see right now. Even though we were friends, she was a reminder of him. I wasn’t sure what he told her if he said anything at all. Getting up from my chair, I walked out of the back and saw her standing by the jewelry display.
“Hey, Jules.” I forced a smile.
“Hi, Emily.” She hugged me tight. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“Are you doing some shopping?” I asked.
“I’m on my lunch break and thought I’d drop by to see you. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah. It has.” I looked down.
“Why don’t we head down to the deli and grab a little something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry, but I’ll go with you.”
As soon as we stepped out of the shop, she wrapped her arm around mine.
“What happened between you and Jackson?”
“He didn’t mention it?” I asked.
“Not really. He just said that you wouldn’t see each other anymore and didn’t want to talk about it.”
“I broke rule number nine,” I spoke as I stared straight ahead.
“And rule number nine was what?”
“A simple one, really. I fell in love with him.”
“Oh, Emily. Of course, you did. Even though he doesn’t deserve your love.”
We walked inside the deli and sat at one of the tables next to the window.
“I told him, and he responded that he loved me as a friend and nothing more.”
“Asshole.” She frowned.
“I broke one of the rules and am now paying the consequences for it. It’s my fault. I never should have signed that contract. Now that I think about it, I was so stupid.”
“No, you weren’t. You did what you thought was right at the time because your beliefs were different. I get that.”
“I never planned on telling him that I loved him, but we started arguing, and he said some things that really hurt me, so I just told him.”
After the waitress stopped by our table and Jules placed her order, she reached across the table and grabbed hold of my hands.
“And you should have told him. You had every right. What if something happened to him before you got the chance to tell him?”
I felt nauseous when the waitress set down Jules’ corned beef sandwich in front of her.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “All of a sudden, you look really pale.”
“I feel really sick to my stomach. Excuse me for a moment.” I got up and ran to the bathroom.
I knew it was nerves, for it had been happening all week. Hence the reason I’d barely eaten. When I got back to the table, Jules looked at me strangely.
“Were you sick?” she asked with concern.
“Yeah. It’s been happening all week. It’s just nerves. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure that’s what it is? I am a doctor. I can check you out.”
“I’m fine, Jules. Trust me. This whole thing with Jackson has me all messed up. Please promise me you won’t tell him.”
“I won’t. But if it persists, I want you to come see me.”
“I will.”
After lunch, Jules returned to the hospital, and I returned to the shop.
Jackson
My father was released from the hospital, and he was doing well. Since he didn’t have a permanent place here in New York yet, my mother moved him in with her so she could help with his recovery. Seeing them together like this was strange and a bit unsettling to me. My father and I had a long talk, and I apologized to him and my mother for how I behaved towards them. But I did make it very clear that if they decided that things wouldn’t work out again, I would not be around, and I didn’t want to hear about it.
Sitting in my office one morning, Audrey, my secretary, walked in and placed some papers on my desk. The smell of her perfume caught me off guard.
“Audrey, what kind of perfume are you wearing?”
“Joe Malone.” She smiled. “My husband bought it for me for our anniversary.”
“Do me a favor, and please don’t wear it to the office.”
“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry.” She looked at me strangely.
“Did I just hear you tell Audrey not to wear that perfume?” Samuel asked as he stepped into my office.
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t that some form of harassment or something? I think it smells nice.”
“It’s the same perfume Emily wears, and I never liked it.”
“You’re lying. You’re just trying to forget her.”
“Maybe I am.” I leaned back in my chair and put my hands behind my head.
“Is this worth it, man? You feeling this way when all you have to do is call her.”
“It would be much harder down the road, Sam.”
“What you and Emily had was really good, and don’t tell me it was because of that damn contract. You were happy when you were with her, and now look at you. You’re miserable as all fuck.”
“She broke the rules, and she knew the consequences.”
“Fuck the rules, Jackson. Like I said before, rules were made to be broken, whether you’re the great Jackson Caine or not.”
“Are you finished?” I asked. “I have to get going.”
“Yeah. I guess I am. Want to grab some dinner later?”
“Maybe tomorrow. I need to go see my dad.”
“I hate seeing you like this, bro. I’ve never seen you like this. What does that tell you?” He walked out of my office.
I left the office for a meeting with a client interested in renting a space I owned on East Twelfth Street.
“Ms. Goodman?”
“Yes. You must be Mr. Caine.”
“I am.” I smiled as I extended my hand to her. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“And you as well.” She smiled back.
“Shall we have a look inside?” I stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. “May I ask what business you’re planning on opening?”
“A cupcake shop.” She brightly smiled.
“Ah. Those are nice.”
“It’s always been a dream of mine, and it’s what my husband would have wanted.”
“Would have?” I asked.
“He passed away about six months ago. We were married for ten wonderful years.”
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. My husband and I saved practically everything we earned to open a shop. Then he got sick, and the medical bills started pouring in. He made me promise that I would use his life insurance money to open up my business.”
“He sounds like he was a great man.”
“He was.” She smiled. “And I wouldn’t have traded the last ten years with him for anything. He was the love of my life, and he made me very happy. I’m doing it as much for him as for me.”
“It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage.”
“It was. Don’t get me wrong, we did have ups and downs like any couple, but our love was strong enough to work through them. We never gave up on each other, and when he died, I felt like a piece of me died with him. I’m a forty-year-old widow, and I’m starting over, putting all my focus into our dream.”
I smiled at her as she continued to look around.
“This is perfect. You said the rent was five thousand a month?”
“I was mistaken. It’s thirty-five hundred.”
After setting up a meeting to sign the lease agreement later in the week, she left, and I stayed back to turn off the lights and lock up. As I approached the door and was just about to walk out, I stopped when I saw Emily walk by. My heart started pounding at seeing her in her long black coat and black knit hat. She looked beautiful, and an overwhelming sadness consumed me. More so than what I already felt. Was this feeling worth it? This misery that overtook me? No matter how hard I tried to fight it and get my life back to normal, it didn’t matter. Walking away from women had always been easy, but not with her. I figured a couple of days at the most, and she’d be out of my mind, but she wasn’t. She had a hold on me that was too strong to fight.
Something Ms. Goodman said stuck with me. How she wouldn’t trade the past ten years with her husband for anything. I wouldn’t have traded the past few months with Emily. What we had, what we shared, and the things we did were phenomenal. I hurt her in a way that I would never be able to forgive myself for. I was angry she broke the rules, and I wanted to punish her for doing so. But I was only punishing myself because I did feel things I’d never felt before, and I knew it the whole time we were together, but I pushed it aside out of fear. Fear that things would change between us.
I stepped outside the building and locked the door. Looking down the street, I saw she turned the corner, so I followed her. Why? I had no idea. Seeing her again stirred up more than just feelings. It stirred up memories we had made and a time that made me the happiest I’d ever been. I needed to reach out to her, but I was scared of her reaction. Was she okay? Had she already forgotten about me and moved on, not giving what we had another thought? She was out of sight, so I hailed a cab, and instead of going back to the office, I went home.