Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sebastian
Her words kept playing over and over in my mind. “You’re a monster. I never want to see you again.” The truth was that she was right. I was a monster, and I let my anger and jealousy get the best of me. I’d never lost control like that before, especially over a woman. I blew it. The best thing that had ever happened to me now hated me. Was she even capable of hate? Her eyes told me everything. That look of hurt, anger, and hatred would be forever etched into my memory. She deserved nothing more than to be happy, and I needed to make sure she was. She’d get over what I’d done, and she’d get over me. But I wasn’t so sure I’d ever get over her. I had ruined her birthday. Fuck, how did I not even know it was her birthday? I should have known. If only I would have opened up to her and told her everything about me, I would have known, and things would have been different.
A couple of weeks had passed since that night, and every day became harder to deal with. I’d stop outside the window of the gallery and look in with the hopes of just seeing her and making sure she was okay. When she got off work, I’d make Eli follow her with me in the back so I knew she made it home and was safe. Every night, she’d stop and talk to Willie. Sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes longer. He wasn’t the only homeless man she talked to. There was a group of them that hung out in the alley. Almost as if they were a family and she was a part of it. Their faces lit up every time she’d stop and talk to them.
Chloe
Sebastian followed me everywhere I went. I wasn’t stupid, and I could feel his presence. I guess you could say it was the connection we had. Ever since Eli left my apartment that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said about Sebastian having to fight for everything and climb out of the trenches to make something of himself. My mom told me that Sebastian punching Corey was his way of fighting for me, even though it was wrong.
It was Saturday, and I decided to go to Central Park to think. Being outdoors and surrounded by nature always helped me to think more clearly. The work week was extremely busy. Between organizing another exhibition, having dinner with my parents, and visiting with Sienna and Sam, I just needed a day to myself. I felt out of balance, which I was attributing to a man named Sebastian.
I had the cab driver drop me off at the park's west entrance, and I made my way to Shakespeare Garden. It was my favorite spot in all of Central Park because it was quiet and the perfect place to meditate. Walking down the cobblestone path, I admired the beautiful flowers that were in bloom. When I found the perfect spot to settle, I laid out my blanket and set my picnic basket down. I took in a deep, cleansing breath and closed my eyes. Taking in the beautiful sounds of nature, I heard something or someone. Opening my eyes, I looked around. Sighing, I closed my eyes and began to meditate. Once again, I heard something.
“Sebastian, I know you’re here,” I spoke in a loud voice. “And I also know how you’ve been following me. So just come on out and stop being so damn stalkerish.”
“How did you know?” he softly asked as he emerged from behind a tree.
“I just knew. You know when someone is following you.”
“I wasn’t stalking you, Chloe. I was just making sure you were safe and okay.”
“Whatever, Sebastian. Since you followed me out here, you might as well sit down so you can see that I’m okay.” I patted the empty spot next to me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He sat down next to me, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. He was so handsome but looked so lost.
“What were you doing?” he asked.
“Trying to meditate. You know, you really should try it sometime. You could stand to gain some inner peace.”
He gave me a frown, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So is that why you do it, to gain inner peace?”
“That and other things. It makes you more grounded so you can live life more in the present.”
“Oh. I’m sorry I interrupted you.”
“It’s fine. Would you like some grapes?” I asked as I reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a small Ziploc bag.
“No. I’m good.”
“You don’t like grapes?” I cocked my head.
“I like grapes.”
“Then why don’t you want any?”
“Because I don’t.” His brow arched.
“Why? There has to be a reason. Aren’t you hungry? Even if you weren’t hungry, a couple of grapes won’t hurt you.”
“Fine. I’ll have some grapes.” He smiled as he reached into the bag and took a couple.
“I’m still mad at you,” I spoke as I popped a grape into my mouth.
“Then you didn’t do enough meditating.” He grinned.
Shaking my head, I bit down on my bottom lip. “Trust me. I meditate every day, but you punched my friend for no reason.”
“I know, and believe me, I will regret what I did until the day I die. I can’t apologize to you enough, Chloe. I’m sorry.”
I could hear the sincerity in his voice and see the look of regret on his face.
“Fine. Apology accepted.” I softly placed my hand on his.
He looked down at our hands and then at me.
“Thank you. It means a lot to me. Chloe, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.”
“What is it?” I asked nervously.
He looked away. “It can never work between us.”
“Why do you say that?” My heart started to ache.
“Because I could never give you what you need and deserve. You were right when you called me a monster. That’s exactly what I am.”
“No, Sebastian. I was angry. I didn’t mean it.”
“Whether you did or not, it’s what I am.” He removed his hand from mine. “I don’t want to make this harder than it already is.” He stood up and stared straight ahead. He couldn’t even look at me.
Suddenly, I felt a raindrop hit my hand.
“I better go. I’m sorry, Chloe. All I want is for you to be happy, and being with me will make you more miserable.” He turned and began to walk away.
“Have you always been a coward?” I shouted as the rain started to come down.
“Excuse me? It’s really raining now. We should go seek shelter.”
“No. I’m staying right here. How many storms are you hiding from, Sebastian?” I asked as I stood up and stared at him.
“What are you talking about? Chloe, it’s raining, and we’re getting soaked. We can talk about this somewhere else.”
“Have you ever heard the quote: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain?”
“For God's sake, Chloe,” he shouted.
“If you wait for every storm to pass, you’ll waste time, and then you’ll have nothing to show for it, past or present. When it started raining, your first reaction was to run and hide from it. Why?”
“Chloe, I’m serious. I have no clue what you’re talking about. All I know is that we’re both standing out here, soaking wet!” he yelled.
“Tell me what you’re so afraid of, Sebastian! What happened to you?”
“Nothing. This is how I am! I’m not capable of emotion. I don’t cry, and I certainly can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved!”
“Why? You say you can’t isn’t good enough. There’s a reason you feel that way.”
He ran his hands through his hair as I watched him struggle to find the words.
“Tell me, Sebastian!” I yelled as loud as I could.
“You want to know why?!” he shouted as he walked towards me. “Because I don’t know how to love! No one in my entire life has ever loved me. How do you give love when you never received it?!”
“What about your parents?”
“I never knew my parents.”
I nearly lost my breath hearing him speak those words. Everything began to make sense now. I walked closer to where he was standing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him tight. It took a few moments, but he finally wrapped his arms around me. Slowly, we both sank to the ground as the rain poured down on us.
“I don’t want to lose you, Chloe. You’re the first person in my life that has meant something to me. But it frightens me to be with you.”
“I don’t want to lose you either, and there’s no reason to be frightened.”
He broke our embrace, and his eyes stared into mine.
“You deserve so much better.”
“I think that’s up to me to decide.” I smiled. “I know what I need, and what I need is you.”
His mouth smashed into mine with such passion it sent me into another world. I’d missed him and his touch.
“If we’re going to do this, you can’t keep things from me.” I placed my hand on his face.
“I know, and I will tell you everything. I promise.”
Smiling, I spoke, “How about we go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?”
“I don’t have any dry clothes at your place.”
“Who said you need clothes? Clothing is totally optional at my place.” I grinned as I pressed my forehead against his.
“I think I like your place.” He smiled as he brushed his lips against mine.
We stood up, grabbed the blanket and the picnic basket, and headed to his limo. After climbing in, Sebastian grabbed my hand.
“How about we go to my place instead? I have plenty of T-shirts that would look adorable on you. Clothing is optional, of course. Plus, I have this huge bathtub that I think you’ll fall in love with.”
“Is it big enough for two?” I asked.
“It’s big enough for four.”
I smiled. “I think I like your place.” I leaned over and kissed him.
“Good. Because you’ll be spending a lot of time there.”
“Promise?”
He brought his thumb to my lips. “I promise.”
Glancing up, Eli gave me a wink through the rearview mirror. This was the start of something good—hell, something great—but Sebastian was going to take a lot of work.