Birding with Benefits

Chapter 23

“Mom, please remind me again why we’re doing this. And hand me the glue.”

“We’re doing this,” Celeste said for the fourth time, “to add some whimsy to the shelves in my classroom.” She passed the small bottle of glue to Morgan, who sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, struggling to keep hold of the world’s smallest flowers. “My students are so drawn into social media and everything, I’m just trying to bring a little magic to reading. And that starts with the book nooks. I saw an amazing TikTok about it last week.”

“Since when are you on TikTok?” Morgan scoffed, peering at the flowers.

“Since I decided I want to know what my students are talking about, that’s when.” She worked on finishing off a small decorative line along the edge of her creation. This had looked much easier online, but she was muddling through.

When she finished, she turned her nook proudly toward Morgan. It was as tall as a typical hardcover book, and maybe twice as wide, with a hollow space in the middle where Celeste had added the miniature facade of a creepy house, complete with eerie shapes in the window. Tiny bats hung from fishing line around the house, and tombstones stood in tiny lines on the ground. This nook would be displayed between books in the horror section of her classroom library, while Morgan’s fairy world—if it was ever finished—would adorn the fantasy shelf. Celeste hoped the novelty would draw her students to the shelves, where they just might find a book they liked.

Their school had a library, but Celeste found a particular joy in curating her own shelves in her classroom. Students were free to borrow a book or take one to keep or pass on. She wasn’t keeping track.

“And you’ve recruited my child labor because?” Morgan blew a raspberry as she slipped the little flowers into her nook, nestling them next to a toadstool she’d fashioned out of clay. She’d been griping the whole time, but her work was as beautiful as Celeste had known it would be—detailed and whimsical.

“Because,” she answered, toying with miniature tufts of moss on the table, “we set this night aside as mother-daughter bonding night, because I love you and I miss you because you’re never home.”

“Mm-hmm.” Morgan hummed and glanced up from her nook suspiciously. She’d begrudgingly agreed to the night in with Celeste, softening a little when she was promised Chinese takeout and Sandra Bullock rom-coms after the nook work was complete. But she must have suspected that Celeste had a hidden agenda up her sleeve, because there was a tension she wasn’t quite letting go of.

And she wasn’t wrong.

Morgan was affixing a minuscule butterfly to her fairy world when Celeste’s phone buzzed on the table. Her daughter paused to pick it up and pass it over, but Celeste just waved her off. “Just ignore it. Mom-daughter night needs no interruption.”

She needed to focus on Morgan tonight and make a plan for her move up to Flagstaff for college. That meant not getting distracted by any texts from John. Especially not the teasing, dirty ones they’d exchanged at intervals throughout the past two days, both of them growing a little bolder each time. She’d gotten herself off in her hotel room to that first shocker he’d sent her, imagining his hands on her. Then she’d had a plastic cup of wine from the room’s minibar and texted John to tell him about it.

And he’d told her he was doing the same.

It had been near impossible to let him drive away that night at Maria’s, but she was glad now for this little window, a time when they could both adjust to the new sexual aspect of their partnership and get comfortable communicating about it. She’d been with a couple of people since her divorce—“wiping the slate,” in Maria’s words—but nothing that bore repeating. It was difficult to develop the kind of connection with someone she needed for great sex while also avoiding a more serious commitment.

Yes, knowing their exploration had an end date made her stomach hurt a little, but that was just another sign that it was necessary. Because John, as unassuming as he was, was the kind of person she could see herself bending and rearranging for, altering the plans she’d been making to grow on her own. She couldn’t fall into a trap, as comfortable and enticing as it might be, of letting her connection to another person dial her own happiness up and down.

Which was why, despite the growing need to see what John was hiding under those cargo pants, Celeste had stuck to her planned date with Morgan. And why, when her phone buzzed again on the table, she shoved it under one of the couch cushions.

Celeste pushed her nook to the side. “So, hon.”

Morgan groaned. “Here we go.”

Celeste gripped her knees. “Well, it’s time to buckle down and get all this stuff sorted out for the fall. I’ve been trying not to bug you, but we’re running up against these deadlines for all the paperwork, especially if you want to give any preferences for roommate stuff.”

Morgan glanced up at Celeste before returning her attention to the placement of a tiny butterfly. “Actually, I did want to talk to you about that.”

“Great!” Celeste just barely stopped herself from clapping. This was progress. “We have a lot to cover. I know moving away can seem really scary, but you’re going to be fine, I promise you.”

“I’m not scared.” Celeste could hear the eye roll. Morgan sat back on her heels, pulling her long hair through her hands and over one shoulder. “I just wonder if…” She worried at her lip with her teeth, then shook her head. “All that gen-ed stuff at NAU—I’m not that interested in it. Like I have to take psychology and math, stuff I don’t even care about. I already did that for four years. It’s a waste.”

Morgan did well in her classes, but always more out of duty than passion. But Celeste knew college could be different. “Oh, sweetie, it won’t be a waste, believe me. There is so much to learn, it’s just going to blow your mind.”

“Not everybody is a school person—”

“There’s a whole world out there waiting for you to learn about it, Moo. I wonder what books you’ll read in your freshman English class. Maybe I could get a copy and read along—”

“Mom.” Morgan’s voice was sharp. “You know it’s me going, not you, right?”

This had long been a pressure point between them. Celeste was a learner, always ready to jump into a new hobby or dive into a book on a new subject. But that time of her life when she should have been free to explore all the world had to offer had been consumed by her relationship with Peter.

Was transferring some of her enthusiasm to her daughter the worst thing she could do?

She just wanted to see Morgan spread her wings and grab life by the horns, to show the world what she was made of. And she hoped she’d have a bachelor’s degree and a job when it was all over.

“This is my life we’re talking about,” Morgan continued. “And maybe I should have a say.”

“Of course you have a say,” Celeste shot back. “I’ve always supported you as you pursued the stuff you wanted to do. And you can keep doing that stuff up at college, even the art.”

“?‘Even the art’? Thanks, Mom, that’s generous.”

“What I mean is”—Celeste drew in a breath—“the art department will be lucky to have you, and meanwhile you can explore what else you might enjoy doing.”

Morgan stayed silent, tugging at her hair again and holding the butterfly in place long enough for the glue to set. She sucked her lips between her teeth and let them out with a smack. “Great talk.” She stood, rolling out her neck and bouncing for a minute on her feet in her plaid pajamas. “As fun as this has been, I think I’m just gonna work on the pieces for the show. I’m not that hungry.”

Celeste jumped up, brushing fake moss flakes from her T-shirt and yoga pants. She’d managed to get them from mother-daughter bonding to Morgan’s storming out of the room in ten minutes flat. It had to be a record.

Given Morgan’s own helping of Celeste’s stubborn personality and tendency to retreat to Peter’s house if pressed, the peace Celeste had once felt with her daughter seemed now more like a delicate cease-fire. One she’d apparently thrown a grenade into by mentioning a few college forms.

But there was still time, at least a little of it. So Celeste tucked the topic away for another night. “No way,” she said, forcing some humor into her tone. “You can’t leave me with all that eggplant tofu to eat. And I have to repay you for your labor.”

Morgan paused at the turn of the hallway.

Celeste wouldn’t give her the chance to back out. “I’ll clean up and bring the food out and you pick the movie. Is it a Miss Congeniality or While You Were Sleeping kind of night?”

Morgan sighed and returned, plopping on the couch. “Definitely While You Were Sleeping. I like watching you swoon over Bill Pullman. You seem to have a thing for nerds.”

“I do not,” she argued, cleaning off the table. But if one particular man rose to mind, reading glasses poised on his nose as he studied a bird book, she’d never tell.