Bite of Vengeance (Shadows of War #3)

1. Kali

Chapter 1

Kali

I pressed the blade against the inside of my arm, my hand shaking so much I nearly sliced myself on accident. My gaze drifted around the room, the surrealness at being here again setting in. It was the same room in the back of Impulse where I’d changed clothes the first night and hid my weapon in the couch. Very little time had passed but it might as well have been a lifetime ago. A tear escaped, sliding down my cheek as I stood frozen. If I did this, then there would be no denying it. I’d been locked in this room for hours, and the entire time I’d convinced myself the blood on Amaros’s finger was not mine.

I wasn’t a Shadow.

I couldn’t be.

But what if I was?

Choking back a sob, I squeezed my eyes shut before pushing the blade deeper. A small sting proved I sliced my skin, and I held my breath as I pulled the knife away, letting it clatter to the floor. I blew out a shaky breath, instantly regretting what I just did. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to be a fucking Shadow.

The tears flowed free as I opened my eyes. I stared blankly at the wall in front of me until I couldn’t take it anymore. The second my gaze locked on the small cut; my stomach rolled violently. I staggered back a couple of steps, gasping for breath as the truth slammed into me.

My blood was black.

“No,” I cried hoarsely, wiping the blood away. The wound was still open, and I pressed my palm over it to stop the bleeding.

Dizziness claimed me, and I fell on to the couch cushion, closing my eyes again. This wasn’t real life. Everything was wrong . Warner was—I shook my head, pain invading every cell of my body. My heart imploded like dynamite when I thought about him. He was gone. My only family. And I was trapped with vampires.

What now? Would I be a prisoner at the Pen like all the other Shadows? I was still me at the moment, but how long until I began thinking like a Shadow? Bile rose in my throat. When would I have to drink blood?

“You should eat.”

My eyes flew open, and I leaped off the couch to face the door. Pax stood in the doorway with a plate of food in his hands. Pity was scrawled across his face which created a raging fire in my veins. I didn’t need him to feel sorry for me. He was one of the vampires keeping me here.

“Go away,” I hissed, my voice nearly cracking.

He sighed as he strode forward. “Eat, Kali.”

“Fuck off.”

He set the plate on the small table in front of the couch, and I tracked his moves warily as I backed up. I eyed the knife I’d dropped, and he followed my gaze, spotting the weapon would do nothing against him. Tilting his head, he looked at me questioningly, but I stayed silent. I’d grabbed the knife from behind the bar when Gia was watching me. Zan and his brothers had been somewhere with their father. Though, I was surprised we were still in Deadwood and not on our way to Amaros’s property.

“I know how overwhelming it is,” he said softly. “Transitioning can be?—”

“Don’t,” I exploded, rage swallowing me whole. “I don’t want your help. I want you all to leave me the hell alone.”

He frowned. “That’s not going to happen. But for your sake, Amaros is staying away from you for now until you have time to calm down.”

“Better just kill me now, then. Because I will never calm down or accept this.”

He was right near the couch, and I resisted the urge to look at the doorway. He’d left the door wide open, and even though there was no chance I’d make it out of Impulse, I couldn’t help but think of trying to escape.

“Your mind is probably racing about everything,” he murmured. “Especially after seeing the Pen. I’ll answer whatever questions I can.”

“Why bother?” I asked bitterly. “I’m sure that place is going to be my new home.”

“No, it’s not.” He swiped a hand down his face. “You won’t be going there.”

Fear slid through me at his words. I had a feeling Amaros had far worse plans for me than living with the other Shadows.

“Please eat,” he urged, nodding to the plate. “You need to keep your energy up.”

“Why?” I snapped. “I’m like you now, Pax. Will I die if I don’t eat? Or do I just need blood now?”

“Shadows transition slowly, just like regular vampires. You shouldn’t need blood for at least a month. But…” He trailed off, looking troubled.

My heart pounded. “But what?”

“I don’t know,” he grumbled, pacing the floor. “You’re different. Last night, you shoved Zan away. You broke my hold when you ran from the truck. That’s strength you shouldn’t have yet. But then Norman grabbed you, and you couldn’t get away from him. I believe your power is coming in spurts. Especially if you’re angry like you were at me and Zan. I think your transition will be faster. You’ll come into your strength and everything else well before your first year is over.”

My breaths were coming out fast and short. I squeezed my hands into fists, trying to control my emotions. I was spiraling. My chest was so tight I couldn’t fill my lungs, no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t want to listen to all of this. And I didn’t want to hear his name. Every time I thought about him, the memory of him snapping Warner’s neck played through my mind.

“Kali.” Pax was suddenly in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. “Breathe in through your nose. Out through your mouth.”

“Don’t touch me,” I snarled, my voice coming out high and shaky.

He didn’t listen, his grip going tighter on my shoulders when I attempted to break free. Frustration built inside me. So much for this so-called strength he thought I had. I couldn’t get away from him, no matter how much I fought against his hold.

“Listen to me,” he said in a tight whisper. “I need you to calm down. If Amaros doesn’t think we can handle you, then he’s going to step in. You don’t want that.”

“I don’t want any of this,” I shrieked, slamming my palms on his chest. “I don’t care what you do to me. Or what your father fucking does. I won’t listen. I won’t obey. Do whatever the hell you want to me. Nothing will change my mind.”

“I want you to live. I’m trying to help.”

“I have nothing to live for ,” I choked out hoarsely. “I don’t care what happens to me.”

Sorrow clouded his face, and he opened his mouth, only to close it again. A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he finally released me and backed up.

“Eat,” he repeated gruffly. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

My pulse was still thrashing as he strode away, shutting the door when he left the room. I collapsed to my knees, letting out the sob I’d been struggling to hold back. Closing my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath as I let my mind wander. My thoughts hadn’t changed. I didn’t have any cravings for blood. I was still heartbroken for the people I’d lost. From what I learned about Shadows, their mindset changed.

When would that happen to me?