Bitter Wind (Hickory Bear Rapids #1)

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

C arly parked her car in the lot next the park, and couldn't help but smile when she exited the vehicle. Despite the cold weather, lots of townspeople always gathered in the park for the Winter Concert Series, and the available parking spots were filling up fast.

She hoped Ryker was able to find a space, but then quickly dismissed the thought.If he arrived too late and had to walk a few extra blocks to meet up with her, then that was on him. Of course, after the way he'd acted when she'd left his housetwo nights ago, she'd expected that he'd want to ride together, and the fact that he was meeting her here bothered her.

Only a little bit...

Okay, a lot.

She didn't want it to bother her, but it did.And she knew she was being silly. And probablyreading more into it than she should, butshe couldn't help it. She liked Ryker, and he seemed to like her, too. After what they shared two nights ago, she'd thought he'd be more eager to see her again, and she could admit that she was disappointed that he wasn't.

He might be... maybe he has a good reason for meeting you here instead of arriving together.

She knew the words were true, but even if they weren't, it shouldn't matter. They'd only known each other a few days, and though she felt a pull toward him that she'd never felt before, she'd never fallen so fast for a man. Maybe she was just lonely.He was a sexy man, there was no denying that, and a few days ago she'd been content being single.

Still, Ryker hadn't cancelled their date—at least not yet—so she was going to do her best to focus on having fun, and try not to read too much into this one little thing.

She walked across the parking lot to the tree they'd marked as their designated meeting spot, and inwardly groaned when she saw Jessica, one of the women from work that she didn't like, standing a few feet away. She forced a smile when Jessica caught her eye, and then silently cursed when the other woman started to approach her.

"What are you doing?" Jessica sneered. "Waiting for your man?"

She'd never called Ryker her man, and had only mentioned her date with him to two other people from work. Either one of them had talked, or, more likely, the woman had been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I'm waiting for my date, yes. What are you doing?"

She didn't really care about the other woman, but she definitely didn't want to talk about Ryker—or anything else—with her. Jessica was a gossip, but she was also mean and liked to stir up trouble when there was none. Carly found it odd that the woman was a teacher, but she had to admit that the children always seemed happy when she enteredJessica's classroom every week.

"Just seeing what there is to see."

Which meant she was looking for gossip.

"Oh, look. There's your man."

Carly barely held in the urge to roll her eyes as she followed the woman's gaze, but as soon as she found Ryker striding toward them, only one thought filled her mind.

Mine!

He wasn't her man—at least not yet, and maybe never—but she wanted him to be. She also wanted her coworker to leave so that she could have him all to herself. Of course, there was no way to make that happen, so she did the next best thing.

"I've got to go," Carly said. "Have fun tonight."

She walked away before the other woman had a chance to respond, and hurried to meet Ryker halfway. She knew Jessica was watching them with rapt attention, but at least she was far away and wouldn't be present to hear their words.

"Hey," he said, as she walked right up to him. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I missed you," she shrugged.

She didn't want to tell him about the nosey coworker, so she left that part out.

"Hmmm... I missed you, too."

He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, and though the kiss was chaste, heat raced to every nerve-ending. She'd dressed in enough layers to keep warm while they enjoyed the concert, but it was nice to know if a gust of wind came around, all she would have to do was kiss him to warm up.

The thought made her smile, and she realized how much she'd overreacted to him not wanting to arrive together. After she'd left his house on Wednesday night, she'd texted him when she got home, and then texted again the next night after going out with her friends. Both of those times he had replied back quickly and they'd even chatted a bit. It was only his message from today stating that they should meet at the park instead of arriving together, which had put her on edge.

The kiss hello had definitely pushed some of her doubts away, but the feeling didn't last long.

As they started walking toward the stage, she reached for his hand and he abruptly pulled it away. Considering he'd just kissed her hello a few minutes ago, the action shocked her, and she glanced up in time to see the regret on his face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It was just a natural reaction. It's not you."

She understood that, especially since he'd claimed that he never dated, but she also noticed that he didn't try to fix the situation by reaching for her, and those feelings from earlier came rushing back to the surface. She was disappointed and embarrassed, and it didn't help that she knew her nosey coworker was watching their every move.

This was why she didn't date. She didn't have time for games, and she hated feeling like an idiot in public. She wanted him to leave, but she wasn't going to make a scene, so she just shrugged and forced a smile.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "I think the band is about to start. Did you want to get some hot cocoa?"

The heat she'd felt from his kiss was long gone, but she knew the chill she was feeling had nothing to do with the weather. Still, holding the cocoa would give her something to do with her hands, and she planned on keeping her cup filled until she decided to leave. Because it was definitely going to be an early night.

"Carly, I..."

When he didn't elaborate, she got the feeling that the kiss he'd greeted her with really hadn't meant anything at all, and that maybe he wanted to leave. If that was the case, then she wanted him to go and stop wasting her time.

"Did you want to go? I do this every week, so I'm perfectly fine with hanging out here by myself."

"What? No!" He growled the words, and she hated the way her body reacted. "I want to be with you, I'm just sorry about what happened. I don't want to hurt you."

He already had, but she wasn't about to tell him that. Not when they had only known each other a few days and he didn't owe her anything. She wanted to tell him that he hadn't hurt her, but she wasn't going to lie.

"It's way too soon for hand-holding. I get that. If you're staying, then we should start heading over to the stage. I like to hear the band introduce themselves before the set, and I want to get some hot cocoa. You're wearing a coat today, does that mean you're actually cold?"

She knew she was rambling, but she was willing to say almost anything to get out of this hell. Ryker was just staring at her, as if trying to find the words to some big speech, and she was about to say goodbye when he opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm staying," he said. "Let's go."

"Great."

She shoved her hands in her pockets, and fell in step beside him. When they entered the park, she led them to the hot cocoa booth, and made sure to have her money out before Ryker could even think about paying for her drink. She was still hurt, and right now, she didn't want anything from him.

A few minutes later, Carly stood next to Ryker and sipped her hot cocoa as she looked around the park. The large grassy area was next to a very shallow part of the rapids where the river swelled out to create a nice sized pool of water that didn't have any rocks. Behind the pool was a mountain that had another body of water flowing in from the National Park, and the water poured down to create a waterfall that acted as the backdrop for the pool.

During the concert nights, they set up the stage with the waterfall in the background, and the band and all of their equipment stopped a lot of the cold blasts that came from the river.

Still, the evening was chilly, and she was glad she now had both hands wrapped around the steaming cup of cocoa.

"This is nice," Ryker said. "I haven't been to this park in a while."

"I love it here," she said, thankful for his attempt at some sort of conversation. The quiet between them would have been fine if they hadn't suffered that awkward moment in the parking lot, but she was having a hard time moving past his rejection. "Although, it's pretty crowded in the summer, and I prefer the walking path over this area. I visit it almost every day."

The same river that bordered his backyard cut through the entire town, and the little bit of land on the opposite riverbank connected to the National Park. She wasn't exactly sure how much land on the other side of the river was actually part of Hickory Bear Rapids, but it didn't really matter because the National Park was free for everyone to enjoy, and there was even a bridge connecting the two sides on the walking path.

"Have you ever seen any grizzlies?"

"I've seen a few, and have even gotten some really good pictures, butI mostly stay on this side of the bridge. Usually, they just stare at me for a little while and then go on about their business."

"You're not afraid of them?"

"No," she shook her head. "I mean, they're wild animals, and it's their land. I'm not going to approach them or anything, and I try my best to keep my distance and not look like a threat."

"Smart plan."

Duh!

Of course, it was smart. She rolled her eyes at his ridiculous choice of words, and wanted to die when she saw a familiar face walking toward them. The sheriff was dressed in his uniform that included a thick black jacket that had a law enforcement patch on the front, and a pair of matching gloves.

"I saw that," Luke laughed as he came to stand next to them. She didn't know his sons well enough to know what kind of scene Luke would make, and she wished this night would just end already."Is my dad being dumb?"

"What?" Ryker said. "Why would you ask that?"

"Um, because sometimes you are dumb," Luke laughed, "and I just saw Carly roll her eyes at something you said."

"Traitor." She grumbled the word, pretending to glare at Luke, but his smile was infectious, and she burst out laughing. "He just told me I was smart to stay awayfrom bears, so yes, he is being dumb."

She and Luke both started laughing, and Ryker's lips turned up in a smile. She could tell that he had no problem teasing and bantering withhis boys, and Luke's approach had actually broken through some of the awkwardnessbetween them.

Luke took off when the band walked on stage, and though she liked to support the arts, she lasted through only two songs before her ears couldn't take anymore.

"This is bad," she said to Ryker, careful to keep her voice low.

"Very bad," he nodded, his voice equally low. "Want to take a walk?"

"Sure."

She didn't really want to walk with him, but if he was looking for a way to end things,then she liked that he wanted to do it face-to-face. Not that there was really anything to end, but she would rather him be honest to her face, rather than just send a text, or worse, completely ghost on her.

R yker gripped the skinny handles of the paper bag he held, and tried to get his thoughts in order. He knew he messed up earlier, and he wanted to tell Carly everything, but that conversation would have to wait until they had more privacy. Mainly because he wanted to show her his animal, and even though he could scent that there was no one around, he wouldn't shift on this side of the rapids.

A gust of wind blew around them, and he inwardly cursed when Carly shivered and tried to bury her hands deeper into her pockets. He'd decided to walk along the river because of how her eyes had lit up when she'd talked about the walking path—and because of his need for privacy—but he should have just walked them down Main Street until they reached the street that would take them down to the exact spot where he wanted to go on the river.

There were a few benches along the path, but the area that held the bridge also housed a few trees and a couple of cropping of rocks that were the perfect height for sitting. The area had been landscaped for decoration more than anything, but lots of people used it as an unofficial picnic area, especially in the summer when the trees helped block most of the sun.

He was counting on those trees to work the same way against the wind coming off the river, and when Carly shivered again, he was happy they only had a few more feet before they reached their destination.

He wanted to put his arm around her and tuck her against his side, but after refusing to hold her hand earlier, he knew the action would be unwanted, and he only had himself to blame.

Fuck!

The look on Carly's face after he pulled his hand away was one he never wanted to see again. He honestly hadn't meant to hurt her, but deep down, some part of him still wanted to reject what was staring him right in the face. It was the reason he'd insisted on meeting her at the concert instead of picking her up, even when it went against every one of his instincts.

Unlike his ex, Carly was his true mate, and punishing her—and himself—because of what the other woman had done was beyond stupid. He'd been holding onto the pain of that mistake for over twenty years, andit was time to let the past go. He knew it last summer when the ache in his chest forced him to think about selling the food truck, and he knew it a few days ago when Carly walked into his shop and instantly made the ache go away.

If he didn'tget his shit together and fix what he'd done, then Carly wouldn't stick around, and he would have no one to blame but himself.Their initial bond was strong, but it could be easily be broken if she found someone new, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would find someone.

He shot her a sideways glance, just to look at her again, but he didn't need another visual to know how beautiful she was.

When he'd arrived at the concert, he'd immediatelysought her out, and the image of her standing under the tree in her light blue coat called to both the man and the bear in a way that soothed his soul, but the certainty that she was his scared him half to death and stopped him in his tracks.

For a moment he'd just stared, and though he could tell that she was irritated with the woman next to her, he doubted anyone else would pick up on the subtle difference in her demeanor. Though he didn't like the idea of her talking to someone that she didn't like, he knew it was sometimes necessary, and pride filled him at the way she faced the other woman with her head held high.

Minutes later, she'd impressed him again when he'd pulled his hand away. Not because she hadn't made a scene, though that was something he was grateful for, but because even though she'd been hurt and embarrassed, she'd been able to keep a level head. Hell, she'd even offered him a way out, which would have only hurt her more.

He'd seen the way the woman by the tree had been watching them closely, and after a second look, he recognized her from his shop. The woman was a notorious gossip, and after several failed attempts to capture his interest, she'd started taking her car someplace else for repairs. He was glad that she'd finally given up on him, butthe woman talked a lot, and those willing to listen would know how he'd abruptly pulled away from his mate.

When they reached the rocks, he was happy to note that the trees did block some of the wind. Unfortunately, he hadn't taken into account how cold the rocks would be, so he took off his jacketand spread it across the surface before motioning her to sit.

"Ryker, no," she shook her head. "I don't want you to be without your coat."

"You need it more than I do. I run warm, remember?"

When she opened her mouth to protest, he continued.

"Besides, we're going to share it."

She eyed him skeptically, but reluctantly agreed and sat down as close to the edge of the garment as she could get. He wanted to laugh at the way she tried to make herself small, but he didn't dare. Instead, he sat down on the other half of the coat, leaving about an inch of fabric sticking out, and he wanted to laugh when she leaned over to make sure he was completely on the garment.

Once satisfied, she scooted about an inch closer to him, and he wanted to pump his fist in the air at the small victory. They still weren't touching, but she wasn't keeping the maximum distance between them, so he took it as a win and reached into the paper bag he'd set on the ground between his legs.

Before leaving the park, he'd stopped at one of the food stands and bought a few meat and cheese hand pies and a couple of bottles of water. Unlike what happened at the cocoa stand, Carly had seemed fine with letting him pay for the food, but just in case, he didn't let her get anywhere near the payment window.

What she'd pulled at the cocoa stand had been annoying, but he'd understood her reasons, and the small gesture had been another push for him to get his shit together. It was his job—his privilege—to take care of his mate, but if he didn't step up, then she would take care of herself.

He handed her one of the pies, followed by a napkin, and they ate in silence for a few minutes. When she was done, he handed her one of the bottles of water, and then downed half of his own bottle in one gulp.

"Thank you for thinking to get those," she said. "I didn't even realize I was hungry."

His bear roared beneath the surface as pride filled his human side.

Feeding her was a small thing, but each time he'd done it she'd been grateful—even when he'd messed up and burned the steaks. Her gratitude was a gift, and though his ex had often said the words in the beginning, something had always been lacking. Sadly, it had taken him way too long to figure out what that something was.

He didn't want to compare Carly to his ex because there really wasn't anythingto compare, but the differences betweenthe two women were like night and day, andhe was blown away by how perfect she was for him.

"Do you want another one?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks."

If she was done eating then so was he, and that meant that it was time for him to start talking.

"I'm sorry about pulling my hand away earlier. I?—"

"You already apologized," she said, keeping her eyes forward. "It's fine."

He hated that she wouldn't look at him, but he understood why she didn't.

"It's not fine. It was a stupid, and I promise I'll never do anything like that again."

"Ryker..."

She sighed, and he knew he wasn't going to like her next words, so he pushed forward before she had a chance to say anything.

"I want you to come to dinner with me and the boys on Sunday. Hattie will be there, too, and she's dying to meet you."

This time she did look at him, and the shock on her face told him she knew exactly what a big deal his invitation was. Sunday dinner at his house was family night, and he'd never invited a woman—or anyone else—to the weekly event.

She shook her head and gave him a small smile that didn't meet her eyes. He hated that smile, and he knew what her answer would be before she even spoke the words.

"I don't' think that's a very good idea."

"I do." He linked his fingers with hers, grateful that she didn't pull away. "I know I messed up, but I'm not letting you go. At least... I don't want to. I know it's too soon, but I want us to beexclusive—I want you to be my girlfriend—and see where this goes. That means you'll be part of my life in all ways, and I want you to know my boys and Hattie."

"You want me to be yourgirlfriend?"

Her voice was serious, but he could see the sparkle in her eyes.

"That's a dumb word, isn't it?"

God, he felt like such an old man calling her his girlfriend. Not because of their age difference, but because he was forty-six years old and using the word girlfriend sounded ridiculous. But that's what she would be until they got married.

Or mated.

His bear didn't understand that humans didn't use the word mated, so Carly would still technically be his girlfriend, but he didn't correct the animal. He still wasn't sure he ever wanted to be mated again, but he did want Carly in his life, and he wanted to show her all of himself, including his bear.

A small part of him worried that Carly's reaction would mimic his ex's, but if she agreed to date him, he wasn't going to keep a piece of himself hidden.

"It's not a dumb word," she laughed, "but I think I know what you mean."

She raised their entwined hands, and looked at him again.

"So, if you're my boyfriend, then we'll hold hands in public?"

"Always."

She turned to look back at the water, and even though it was less than a minute, it seemed like an eternity before she spoke again.

"I like you, Ryker. And I feel drawn to you—like we just fit—but I don't like playing games. I don't want to date someone who doesn't want to hold my hand in public, or doesn't want to arrive places together. I know that last one seems silly because we just met, but after dinner at your house on Tuesday, and then texting the last couple of days, I expected more. I don't expect a proposal or anything—I know we're not ready for that type of commitment—but I'm also not willing to settle for less than I deserve."

Damn!

He loved the fact that she was strong and fierce, and his dick started to swell at the same time a hard gust of wind blew through the trees. Carly shivered, and he stood, pulling her up with him.

"What are you doing?" The words came out as a whisper, and he inwardly cursed at the disappointment she failed to hide.

"Getting you warm."

He picked up his coat, wrapped it around her shoulders, and then sat back down on the rock and pulled her down onto his lap. She was sitting across his legs sideways, so that both legs were hanging on the same side, and he slipped his hands under his coat and wrapped them around her waist.

"Better?"

"Mmmm... yes," she said, pulling the lapels of his coat tighter around her. "I do love how warm you are."

The look of contentment on her face made his dick swell even more, and he wanted to kiss her then, but he knew he couldn't. Not yet. Not until she agreed to be his.

"For the record, I feel that pull toward you, too, and I don't want to lose you. You deserve everything, and I'm going to do my best to be the man that you need. I can't say I'll never make a mistake again, but if I fuck up, then I expect you to tell me so I can try to make it right."

"Okay," she nodded.

"Okay?"

He needed to hear her say the words.

"Okay, I'll come over for dinner on Sunday."

A huge smile lit up her face, and he knew she was teasing him. He tightened his hold, and pulledher closer. When she felt his thick cock between them, her eyes flared and her tongue swept across her top lip as she looked at hismouth. She wiggled a little closer, and that urge to throw her over his shoulder came back full force.

He wouldn't do that now, not when they hadto walk through the crowd at the concert to get to their cars, but he was doing that soon. MaybeSunday, becauseunfortunately he wouldn't get to see her tomorrow.

"And?" He couldn't keep the growl out of his voice.

"And... I will be your girlfriend."

His bear growled beneath the surface, and he leaned forward to kiss her, loving the fact that she met him half way. Their lips touched tenderly at first, just a soft meeting of their mouths, but when she let go of his jacket to fist his sweater in her hands, he was lost.

He slid his tongue between her lips,eager to taste her everywhere, and she kissed him back with the same urgency. They were only kissing, but everything about the moment felt right—perfect—and he didn't pull away until he sensed that someone else was walking down the path.

He hated to stop, but he didn't want to share this moment—or his mate—with anyone, and he knew Carly wouldn't want that either. He wanted her to keep his coat around her shoulders, but after insisting that he take it back, she snuggled up against his side, and they walked back to the parking lot with his arm firmly around her shoulders.