Bitter Wind (Hickory Bear Rapids #1)

Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

C arly stopped pushing her cart and casually glanced around the produce department. There was a guy shopping alone looking at an eggplant, a woman with two kids having a very loud discussion about apples, and an elderly couple arguing about lettuce. The elderly couple's banter made her smile, but she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that crept over her skin.

She'd also felt it in the parking lot after work, but shook it off as a reaction to everything that had happened the day before.

Ryker's words still rolled around in her head, and even though they weren't meant for her ears, she'd heard them. The irritation in his voice hadn't been surprising—the twins were obviously teasing him—but the vehement way he'd delivered the words about them not being serious had shaken her to the core. They'd only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but hearing him say those things had hurt a lot more than it should have. Maybe that feeling had something to do with the weird pull she felt toward him, or the fact that he could change into a bear, but either way, she didn't like it.

It was way too soon to feel so devastated by his words, but she couldn't help the way she felt.She could push it away and bury it deep, though, and that was exactly what she was trying to do.

Ryker had called her the night before just like he'd promised, but he'd wanted to meet up to talk in person, and she hadn't had the strength to see him. Not when she craved his touch even as her heart was breaking. She hadn't been lying when she'd said she needed space. They had been moving fast, but she'd gone with it because he'd told her he was all in.

Hearing him say they were just having fun ,even if he hadn't meant it, had been a wake-up call.

They needed to slow way down, and though she didn't want to end things, it seemed like the right move. She didn't like to play games, and hearing Ryker say those words had immediately put her on alert. It had been nice to have sex with someone who knew what the hell he was doing, but she didn'tneed a man in her life.

Especially not one who never wanted to be "mated" again.

She was pretty sure that was a bond for his animal that was similar to marriage, but she didn'tknow because Ryker hadn't explained anything about that. All she knew was, whatever it meant, he didn'twant it with her.

Their phoneconversation the night before had been short, almost too short, and the fact that he'd ended it after she'd refused to meet him in person spoke volumes. She was okay for a good time, but he didn't really want her in his life.

The words didn't feel right, especially after meeting his family, but it was the only thing that made sense.

Sadness seemed to wrap around her like a vice, and after another glance around the produce department, she hurried to gather the other items she needed.

The feeling that she was being watched lingered for the rest of the shopping trip, and it followed her out into the parking lot. She glanced around, looking for anything out of the ordinary, but nothing stood out so she got in her car and started driving home. The uneasy feeling continued for a few blocks, and after several glances in her rearview mirror, she passed the road that would lead to her house,and drove to the sheriff's office.

She picked a parking space away from the street, and as soon as she shut off the engine, she bowed her head and covered her face with her hands.

What the hell am I doing?

She'd never been so messed up over a man, and she was sure that's what was causing whatever this was, because she hadn't seen anyone in her rearview mirror, and she knew she wasn't being followed.

She was just a hot mess.

And she had to get out of here. Like now.

She shook her head and reached for the key when someone knocked on her window. The shadow hovering over her car made her jump, but when she looked up to see Luke standing there, she burst into tears.

"Hey," Luke said, trying toopen her door. She unlocked the thing automatically, and after pulling it open, he squatted down next to her as she bowed her head. "What's going on? Are you hurt?"

"No," said, shaking her head. She swiped at her eyes, willing the tears to stop, but the action only caused more to fall. She felt like a complete idiot crying in the parking lot next to Ryker's son, but she knew he needed answers.

"Not hurt, just dumb,” she sniffed. “I felt like someone was watching me—following me—so I pulled in here. I was just being stupid."

"Could be nothing, but maybe not," he said. "Either way, I doubt you were being stupid. I'm going to go inside and get one of my deputies to follow us while I drive you home, okay? After we check out your place, you can tell us everything, and we can go from there. How does that sound?"

"Good," she nodded. "I'm sure I just overreacted, but I appreciate that, Luke. Thank you."

"No reason to thank me." He had an easy smile, and she understood why so many of the townspeople loved him. He was good-looking, sure, but it was more than that. He had a calming presence that made you feel like everything was going to be okay. "Did you already call my dad?"

"No," she shook her head. "I don't need to call him. We... um… We're not together anymore."

"That's not possible," Luke smiled as he stood. "Whatever dumb thing he did, I can guarantee that he didn't mean it. I'll call him when I get inside. Stay here and lock the door while you wait for me."

Carly didn't argue with Luke, and instead did what he said while she waited. She wanted his words about his did to be true, that Ryker hadn't meant the things that he'd said, but it was a silly thing to hope for because he'd already told her that he didn't mean them, and she didn't want a man who could spout off lies so easily. Still, she could admit that it would be nice to have Ryker's strong arms wrapped around her right now, but she knew that would never happen. His shop was open for at least another hour, and he wouldn't close it down early because she freaked out over nothing.

Besides, they weren't together anymore, and she was sure he had tons of better things to do.

She pulled down the visor so she could look in the mirror, and wanted to die at the image staring back at her. Several loose strands of hair had fallen out of her messy bun, and her eyes were red and puffy. She could see traces of salt marring her cheeks, and her nose was running.

She dug in her glovebox for a napkin, and did her best to wipe away any remnants of her crying jag, and then she pulled the hair tie out of her hair and fixed her bun.

By the time Luke came back, she looked more presentable, and she gladly moved to the passenger seat so he could drive. She could see his deputy following behind them in the side mirror, and she couldn't help but take a minute to close her eyes. Her work day had only been over for a couple of hours, but it seemed like forever ago, and she was so tired.

"Shit!"

Her place wasn't far from the sheriff's office, but apparently she'd fallen asleep, because the next thing she heard was Luke's angry curse. She jolted in her seat, and then followed his gaze to her home. The large front window that led into her living room was broken, and the hole in the middle was huge. It looked like someone had thrown a basketball through it, and the glass surrounding the hole had so many cracks that it looked like it would cave when a strong wind came.

"Stay here," Luke said, opening his door. "I need to call for backup before we go inside."

She nodded, trying to fight off another round of tears as she stared at her house. She'd only lived in town a few months, but she couldn't think of any reason why someone would do this to her property. Had it been a random act of violence, or did this have something to do with the how she'd felt in the grocery store? Had someone been watching her? What if she'd come straight home instead of going to the sheriff's office? She could have been inside when this happened.

Fresh tears started to fall, and a tiny scream escaped when someone opened her door so hard the entire SUV shook. She leaned into the center console, trying to get away from the threat until Ryker's face came into view.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he said, sliding his hands under her back and knees. "I've got you."

She leaned into him and let the tears fall. Despite what had happened between them, she trusted Ryker to keep her safe.

He carried her to his truck, and after opening the door to the backseat of the cab, he placed her on the seat and slid in beside her. His arms encircled her, and she leaned into him while they waited for Luke and his team to search her house. Ryker's warm body chased away a lot of the fear, and after using her sleeve to dry her eyes, she eventually pulled away from him.

He didn't let her go far, and for that she was grateful. She took another look at her house, and even though she was further away, the damage to the window was huge. She wondered what had been used to make a hole that size, and a new wave of fear washed over her. Even if she could get the window patched up, there was no way she was sleeping in that place tonight.

"You'll stay with me tonight," Ryker said. "And every night after. At least until we know it's safe."

She met his eyes, startled by his words. It always amazed her that he seemed to know what she was thinking, but as much as she wanted to stay with him, she knew she shouldn't. They obviously wanted different things, and she couldn't do casual. Not with him.

"Ryker..." She tried to find the words, but they wouldn't come, and something else was bothering her. "How are you here? I mean, I know Luke called you, but your shop is supposed to be open for another hour."

"Are you kidding me? You went to the sheriff's office because you were scared and possibly in danger.I don't give a fuck about the shop when it comes to your safety. I only care about you. I will always come when you need me, sweetheart.I would have picked you up in town, but Luke wanted to check out your place, and it's a good thing he did. Once all this is over, we're going to have a long talk, and I'm going to explain everything. Because you are mine, and we are definitely not over."

"But..."

God, she was so confused. He wasn't acting like a man just having fun. He was acting like her boyfriend—a very possessive boyfriend—and she liked it way too much.

"Hush," Ryker growled. "Just rest until Luke and the guys are done."

She laid her head on his shoulder, and smiled at his bossy attitude.

R yker walked into his bedroom, and his dick instantly went hard.

Carly was curled up against the headboard flipping through one of the art magazines she'd brought from her place, and the sight of her in his space—in his bed—felt perfect. When she looked up at him and smiled, he wanted nothing more than to sink his cock into her pretty, pink cunt, but he couldn't do that. Not yet.

Not until he told her everything.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good," she nodded. "I'm still a little freaked out, but I feel better. Thanks again for letting me stay here, and for having the boys patch up my window."

After Luke and his deputies had completed their initial investigation, he'd called the twins to come and board up the window. Tomorrow he would find someone to repair the glass. Of course, she was still fighting him on that, but it was a fight she would lose.

"I'm glad you feel better, but you don't have to thank me—or them—for the window. You're part of this family now, and we will always help with whatever you need."

"Ryker, I..."

She closed the magazine, and pulled the blanket she was snuggling in up to her neck. He realized it was her way of protecting herself, of creating a barrier between them, and he didn't fault her for it. Not when he'd hurt her so bad the day before.

When Luke called to tell him that Carly was in the parking lot crying, suddenly everything clicked into place, and he understood the ache that had returned the day before. For some reason, fate had finally brought him his true mate, and instead of celebrating that miracle, he'd only been half-in. He'd been giving just enoughof himself to keep Carly around, but fighting the bond with everything else he had inside.

His bear grumbled beneath the surface, reminding him that it wasn't everything. The animal had been wanting to mark her since the day she'd walked into his shop looking for her car, and it was only the human side that had protested.

Never again.

Carly was his, and she deserved the truth. Hell, she deserved everything, and he was done running from the past.

"I've been a complete ass," he said, moving across the room. He sat down at the foot of the bed, keeping enough distance between them that she didn't feel trapped. If she wanted him to leave, and sleep somewhere else for the night, then he would, but he didn't think it would go that far. "And I'm not just talking about yesterday."

"Okay."

Her tone was skeptical, but she gave him her full attention, and lowered the blanket to her waist.

He took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start, but there didn't seem like a good place, so he jumped right in.

"The moment you walked into my shop I knew you were mine. I didn't want you to be, but I knew it, deep in my soul, and I couldn't stay away from you."

"That's a terrible beginning." She narrowed her eyes, and pulled the blanket back up.

Terrible was an understatement, but she wasn't trying to leave, so he barreled on.

"You're right," he nodded, "but I promise it will get better. Or I hope it will. I've never actually told this story before, but the reason is because you're the only one who will ever need to hear it."

"That's better," she smiled. "Keep going."

"When a shifter meets his mate, he just knows she's the one. It's not like a fated mates thing—we do have a choice—but there is a connection. It's why you feel drawn to me even though it's only been a couple of weeks. You might have even felt it that first night in the pizza place, or even when you came to pick up your car, but you still could have walked away, and I could have, too.

"Except, I didn't want to. Not really. But I was also scared, because for the first time in my life, I wanted to mate with someone?—

mark them—and that didn't go so well for me the first time."

"You and your ex didn't... get along?"

"We did at first, but it didn't last," he took another deep breath. "When a shifter decides to mate, it's more than just getting married. It's a bond formed by marking their partner during unprotected sex. It's why my canines extended that first time in the cave, and why I've been holding back that part of myself ever since. My bear wants you, and I want you, but I was letting the past get in the way. Letting fear hold me back, even when I know that you're mine.

"My ex wasn't mine. She saw me shift by accident one day when I was out trying to teach Luke how to control his animal. I'm not sure why she even followed us that day, but I'm guessing it was because she was a little bit jealous of the time we spent together. I'm not exactly sure, but she saw me and became fascinated by what we could do.

"Looking back, I understand that we were too young to make those decisions, and that she manipulated me more than I care to admit. I knew she wasn't the one, butshe convinced me to form the bond when she got pregnant with the boys by saying all the right things. And I wanted those things. For myself, and for Luke, and for my future cubs.

"So, I went all in. We got married and mated, and I tried hard to be a good husband and father, but she soon lost interest, and despite giving her everything she wanted, nothing ever made her happy. She finally left when the twins were four. As soon as she was gone, almost everything got better. I started the business as soon as I turned eighteen, so it was already building traction, and with her gone, I was able to put more money into savings. She wasn't a bad mom, but she did only the bare minimum, and the boys got over her leaving quicker than expected. Maybe it was because they had Luke as an example, I'm not sure, but it was like a weight had been lifted off of all of us, and we were all glad she was gone.

"What the boys don't know, was the hell I went through on the other side. When a shifter marks his mate, the bond that is formed allows the pair tocommunicate telepathically. You can't read each other's minds, but you can share thoughts to communicate. To talk to each other. After the first year, her thoughts were never overly affectionate, but after she left, they were..."

He didn't know how to put words to what it was like hearing her voice in his head. It wasn't just petty teasing and taunting. There was also anger and hostility that went beyond normal, especially when he had worked so hard to give her everything—including that stupid food truck.

"God, that must have been horrible," Carly said, linking one of her hands with his. She covered their joined hands with her other one, and then laid her head on his shoulder. "What a fucking bitch."

He smiled at her outburst, shocked that he'd been so consumed by his story that he hadn't even realized she'd moved away from the headboard.

"Yeah," he nodded, placing a chaste kiss on the top of her head.

"Did you ever worry that she would expose you and the boys? Tell anyone about your abilities?"

"Not at first. Probably because she hadn't been so filled with hate when she left—or at least, she didn't seem that way. But later I did wonder if she was trying to bait me. To get me to come after her and expose myself somehow. I'm not sure what the end game would be? Maybe to try and get the business? Or to gain sympathy that I had tricked her into fucking an animal? I'm not sure. She just left one day with no notice, but I knew she wouldn't be back, so I filed for divorce the next day.

"I could have found her if I wanted to, but of course, I didn't reveal that information to the courts, and after posting several public notices, the divorce was granted within a few months. I doubt she ever found out about it, so it could have been that she was just after the money. I honestly don't know. But, hurting or exposing me would have hurt the boys, and that part I just don't understand. They were her babies, and even if she didn't want them anymore, why try to destroy their lives?"

Her motives had plagued him for a long time, but moving on had been easier after her death. Though, apparently not easy enough, because he still carried around a lot of the bitterness that had resulted from forming the mating bond with the wrong person.

"Anyway," he lifted his other shoulder. "The bond can only be severed by death, and after about a year she killed herself. Not directly, and not on purpose, but she went down on her boyfriend while they were driving home from some bar, and he lost control and drove them off a cliff."

"Whoa." She raised her head to look at him. "That's terrible, but oddly satisfying. I kind of feel bad for her boyfriend though."

"Yeah, me too."

They sat there in silence for a few more moments before he spoke again.

"Last August, around the same time that you moved to town, I felt an ache in my chest that didn't ease until you walked into my shop the first day we met. It returned yesterday, and stayed with me all day, and that is what prompted what I said to the boys. I was angry and fighting my animal, but those words were lies. They know it, and Luke knows it, but I know none of that matters because you don't know it. I meant it when I said I wanted us to be exclusive, but my bear wants to mark you and that scares the shit out of me. One, because I don't want to make a mistake and accidentally take your choices away, and two, because even though I know you’re not my ex, having someone else's voice in my head isn't something I can get excited about."

"Given everything that's happened, I think that's completely understandable." She placed a soft kiss on his shoulder, and he could feel the smile on her lips. "So, what does that mean for us? What do we do now?"

"The bond is only formed if I bite you during unprotected sex, so in theory, if we use a condom, then it shouldn't be a problem. I also think I should go for a run in my bear form first. That will hopefully help burn off some energy, and then maybe it will be okay. Butmy canines have never elongated like that before—without me being able to stop them—and I can't guarantee that they will stay hidden."

"And I'm not complaining about that," she said, squeezing his hand. "What happens if you bite me while wearing the condom?"

"I honestly don't know. The bite to complete the bond is painful and forms a huge bruise that fades within a few hours. What's left behind is a mark so minute only another shifter can detect it. After that, any other bites are just as painful, and heal just as fast, but they don't leave a mark behind.I've never heard of a shifter's canines extending for anything except a mating, which is why I'm hesitant to try something like that with you."

"Okay," she nodded. "So, no unprotected sex, and no biting."

"Right," he nodded.

Which sounds completely fucking boring.

"But you're all in for everything else? This isn't only temporary, and we're not just having fun ?"

"This was never temporary," he growled, turning to face her.

"Good," she laughed, letting his hands go."I think you should go for a run now."