Blast from the Past (Men of Severn #2)

Chapter Seven

Shane Blake

I am so pissed off I can barely see straight. How could she do that? She left us, left me, so she could run off and go through the hardest time of her life alone. What the fuck is that? Did we not show her how much we cared?

I know I can’t drive my truck the way I am feeling right now, as I’m liable to end up wrecking my vehicle and myself. Instead, I stomp down the street to my own house where I can at least take my frustrations out on the punching bag in my garage.

Zeus, my rescue pit bull, comes bounding at me from the backyard, simply happy to see me again even though I have only been gone a few hours. I steady my stance as he jumps up and lays his slobbering, wet kisses all over my jaw. I feel myself release some of the tension I have been holding and my anger starts to fade.

Sitting on the porch step I stare at the changing colors of the night sky as the sun rises. Zeus takes a seat beside me and silence envelops us. I think through my conversation with Mercy and instead of feeling angry, I feel the emotion my anger was masking— fear .

Even with her standing right in front of me, all I could feel was fear. The fact that we—no, I —could have lost her forever and not have even known is enough to paralyze me. She needs to know the truth. She needs to know that no matter what, I will always be there for her, supporting her and holding her hand.

She also needs to know about Charlotte and the baby. She deserves to know.

But I also know I fucked up. There is a crazy man sending her shit and I swore to stay with her until we figured out who. Now I’ve left her alone and anything could happen.

I can’t just walk back into her house and try to make what I did tonight better with words. I took an already fucked-up situation and made it worse. I took her pain and made it all about me and I feel like a complete douchebag.

“I don’t know how I am going to fix this, buddy,” I say to Zeus. “But I have to give it a shot.”

Zeus stares at me with confusion, and I smile. At least he isn’t pissed at me. Standing, I make my way into the house and change into some workout gear before heading to the detached garage off to the side of my house. I need to work off some of this extra energy before I can even try to think of a plan.

Taping my fists, I breathe deeply before letting my arm extend, my fist hitting the bag that hangs from one of the support beams. With each hit I land, I feel more of the anger and fear start to ebb away. The sound of my punches is loud in the small space. But they are also a balm to my soul.

By the time I finish an hour later, I am drenched in sweat, but I have a plan.

****

Mercy West

I cried myself to sleep after Shane left and I haven’t done that in a very long time. The coffee I made stands on the table in the kitchen, cold and untouched.

Lying in bed I wish I could go back to sleep, but just because my heart is broken doesn’t mean that life stops. The world is still turning, the sun still rises in the East, and I need to get my ass up. I lay there for five more minutes, feeling sorry for myself, before I finally drag myself out of bed.

I’m in the kitchen making a new pot of coffee when I realize I’m not alone.

A shriek tears from my lungs before I slap a hand over my mouth. Shane is sitting at the little table in the breakfast nook, his gaze fixed intently on me.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says softly.

“Mission not accomplished, asshole.”

“You didn’t lock the door after I left.”

“Whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes.

He chuckles and I glare, all while trying to get my heart rate back to something resembling normal.

“We need to talk,” Shane says with a serious expression.

“I think you said all you needed to last night.” I turn my back on him and go back to fiddling with the coffee machine.

“Mercy,” he says with a sigh.

“Shane.” I glare at him but he only smirks.

“I’m a dickhead,” he says by way of an apology. “I made this morning all about me and it wasn’t.”

“Fine,” I huff. “I suppose you’re forgiven. But I don’t have time to chitchat with you. I need to get to work.”

“I already called Wesley. He says you need to stay put.”

Fuck my life!

I just need some privacy to pull myself together before facing the world. His reaction to what I went through hurt more than I want to admit. The last guy I dated wouldn’t even fuck me after he saw my scars. That’s why I had them covered with ink. I just didn’t expect him to feel the same. They all look at me like I am broken, less of a woman, after they know the truth. And he doesn’t even know everything.

Instead of saying anything, I make us both a cup of coffee before taking a seat across from him.

“You remembered.” He smiles before sipping his coffee.

I don’t say anything. How do I explain that I haven’t forgotten a single thing about him?

“Say your peace, Shane,” I say over the rim of my cup. “If I don’t need to work today, I’m going back to bed.”

“I really am sorry for the way I acted,” he says, his voice filled with regret. “I was angry and I took that out on you.”

“I’m used to it.”

His eyes flash with anger but he keeps himself in check. “I want to explain why I reacted that way. I need you to listen to everything I say.”

I watch him carefully, not sure what exactly he could have to say. But I do know that whatever he has to say is going to change both of us forever. I can feel it in the air—his nerves.

“When we were around sixteen, I fell in love with you.” I gasp loudly but he only smiles while shaking his head. “I did everything I could think of to not feel that way about you. I tried to treat you like a little sister, I tried to avoid you. Hell, I was even an asshole, although I knew I was probably hurting you. I just wanted us to be us again, you know?”

He waits for me to say something, anything, but I don’t have any words. My throat is dry, and I feel like I am stuck in some kind of dream.

He smiles before continuing. “Kalum didn’t break your prom date’s nose. I did. And I am also the reason Tommy walks on the other side of the street anytime he sees you.” He grins like a little boy. “This morning scared the shit out of me. Knowing you could have died, that I could have lost you before I ever had the opportunity to tell you how I felt. How I feel.”

“Shane—” I start but he cuts me off.

“Let me finish,” he says with a nervous smile. “I wish you had come to me. Hell, to any one of us. I wish I had been there for you, supporting you. But neither of us can change the past, all we can do is move forward. I love you, Mercy, I always have, and I’m hoping you will give me the chance to prove it.”

It’s only after he stops speaking that I realize I am crying. This is every little girl’s dream come true. To have the first boy you loved, the one you still secretly love, tell you he wants to be with you. It feels unreal.

“You really are an idiot,” I say through my tears, and he doesn’t argue.

He moves quickly around the table and lifts me from the chair before sitting down with me cradled in his lap. He holds me tightly against his chest as he rubs a soothing hand up and down my back.

“Shit,” he murmurs against my hair. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand—” I don’t let him finish his sentence.

I silence him with my lips against his. It only takes him a moment to work past the shock before he is kissing me back. His large, scarred hands tangle in my hair, angling my head the way he wants it. The kiss isn’t hurried but rather an exploration of each other, lips and tongues savoring the moment.

He kisses me senseless, breathless, dizzy, before pulling away. “I’m not sure, but I am going to take that as a positive reaction,” he says and smiles.

I shake my head with a smile. “Yes, you idiot. How could you ever think I didn’t feel the same way?”

“I’m an idiot?” he replies with a shrug and a boyish grin.

And I laugh freely before kissing him again. After long moments, he pulls away.

“There’s something else.” Once more, I can tell he’s nervous. “I want to be the one to tell you because I know you’ll never forgive me if you hear it from someone else.”

“Okay,” I reply, my nerves showing as well.

“There’s a girl. And she’s pregnant.”

I don’t know what to say. His words hurt my heart because she can give him the one thing I’ll never be able to.

“She doesn’t want the baby. She already signed away her parental rights. I’m just waiting until the kid is born,” he explains softly. “I’m going to be a single dad, and I know that isn’t what you thought you were getting. You deserve to know, and I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to be with me…” His words are fast and furious as his nerves get the better of him.

I cut him off by pressing my lips against his. Like I could ever walk away from him.