Blaze: A Small Town, Nerdy Girl, Opposites Attract, Protector Romance (Ghost Ops Book 1)

Chapter 37

Emma showeredand washed her hair, toweling it dry before she slipped into yoga pants and a sweatshirt, put on a pair of socks, and went to join Blaze in the kitchen. Sassy was loose and playing with a wine cork that Blaze had given her, batting it around the kitchen and pouncing like her life depended on catching breakfast for herself.

Blaze looked up, and her stomach squeezed. He’d showered, too, but he hadn’t put on a shirt. His hair was damp, a pair of jeans hung low on his hips, and his skin rippled over muscle when he lifted an arm to reach for a coffee cup out of the cabinet.

Emma’s heart hammered as she thought about how she’d awakened. Plastered to Blaze’s hot body, his hard cock nestled between her legs. In that moment, if he’d slipped it inside her, she’d have died and gone to heaven.

She’d wanted him to do it. Wanted him to drag her pajama bottoms off, free himself, and fill her until she moaned.

She still wanted it, but now she was shyer about it. Now that they’d showered and put that distance between them that he’d insisted on, she’d lost the boldness she’d had in bed with him. He’d told her he wouldn’t say no this time. She didn’t want him to.

Except he’d also told her he wasn’t offering her a future. He was giving her right now.

And maybe that was enough. She was still reeling over the changes in her life because of Simon, and Blaze had baggage of his own to deal with. His childhood with a drug addict mother who’d never given him a stable home life, and at least one mission in the military that’d resulted in everyone dying except for him and two other guys.

That would be alot for anyone to deal with. No wonder he couldn’t promise more than the present moment.

He handed her a cup of coffee, fixed the way she liked it with plenty of cream, and she took a sip, closing her eyes to savor it. Blaze made good coffee. He ground his own beans and brewed it strong, though not too strong.

“Sleep okay? Aside from me waking you up in the middle of the night.”

“You and Sassy both, you mean,” she said with a smile. “Honestly, I was already tossing and turning a bit before I heard you.”

“Because of Marsh.”

“Him. And you.”

“Why me?” He had the audacity to look puzzled.

“I think you know why,” she said, her heart thrumming a little harder now.

“I think I do,” he said softly as understanding crossed his features. “But I need you to be sure any desire to get naked with me isn’t brought on by gratitude for my help, or proximity, or even the gift of a kitten.”

Emma wanted to pinch him. She settled for rolling her eyes instead. “For God’s sake, Blaze, even if those are my reasons, they aren’t bad ones. You’re a decent man who’s upended your life and routine to protect me, and now you’re housing me and a stray kitten. And you bought her all that stuff, which you need to let me pay you for, by the way. But damn, there are worse reasons to be attracted to someone.”

“There are. And no, you can’t. Consider it a gift. For both of you.”

Emma shook her head slowly. “See? It’s stuff like that right there. That’s why I like you. Sure, you’re big and growly and you’ve got that protector thing going that makes all the women at the Dawg want to throw their panties at you, but you’re also thoughtful and kind. None of that is why I want to get naked with you, though.”

“It isn’t?”

“No.” She set the coffee down on the island and went to him. It was bolder than she normally behaved, but nothing felt wrong with him. He made her feel safe, both physically and emotionally.

Right here, right now, she was happy again.

Emma slid her palms over the warm skin of his chest. He was silk and velvet and heat. Beneath that, he was steel. She pressed a finger to the pulse in his neck, felt a soar of triumph that it beat faster than normal.

“Attraction and arousal are complicated phenomena. You have to have the right amount of sympathetic nervous system activity. Your heart races, you tingle and feel jumpy. That’s the fight-or-flight reaction. But then you have the parasympathetic nervous system which regulates the physical signs of arousal, like genital swelling and releasing sexual fluids. Add in the dopamine hits that come from being around you, and it’s a perfect storm of need and desire.”

“That’s your reason?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “It’s biological?”

“Mmm,” she said, dropping her mouth to kiss his chest. God, this was so unlike her, but it was also precisely what she wanted to do in the moment.

His breath hissed in, his hands closing gently around her upper arms. He didn’t push her away, though.

“It’s biological, yes,” she said. “But it’s mental, too. Because you’re you, and everything about you makes me want you. Whether it’s biological, evolutionary, chemical—I don’t really care. It’s a need in my belly, in my core, that I haven’t felt before. Nothing about this makes sense to me. And I feel like if I fight it, if I don’t express to you that I want whatever you can give, that I’ll regret it on some level. I’m tired of living scared. I want to live with the kind of wild joy that comes from choosing to get on the rollercoaster.”

His hands slid around her body to cup her ass. Emma had to bite back a groan at the feel of those big hands on her bottom.

“I’m a rollercoaster, now?” he asked with a laugh before he bent to nibble her earlobe.

“You might be,” she breathed. “But I want to take the ride.”