Chapter 11
Ill-Advised
When she woke the next morning, Astrid turned to see someone typing away with his back turned toward her. She watched him hunched over, his attention focused on what he was doing. Throwing the covers off, she tried to move her legs, but they felt heavy.
He turned around and moved over to her. “Whoa, whoa. Let me heal you before you try to get up.”
He approached her, and when he put a hand on her forehead, she started feeling better.
“Hmm, that feels so nice,” Astrid said and closed her eyes.
“That’s because you are healing.”
“It feels like the tingling is disappearing, and my chest feels less tight.”
The warmth stopped flowing through her and settled. “What pain?”
Astrid pointed to the area over her heart. “Right here, it feels like a knot of pain. It lessens when you start this process.”
He looked down at her, something clearly going through his mind. Finally, he held out one hand. “Do you mind?”
“Mind what?”
His free hand indicated where she had said the pain was. Astrid looked down at her chest. “Oh,” she looked up at him, “will that lessen it even more?”
“It should make it go away.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
Astrid smiled at him. “Go ahead then. If you can take the pain away, I’m not going to say no.”
Gingerly, he put his hand on her chest, and his cheeks began to flush pink. Astrid watched him try to look anywhere else as the warmth spread in her chest, not all of it because of the healing.
“Ah,” she murmured.
He looked at her. She noticed that the tips of his ears were reddish as he asked, “What?”
“Phoenix.”
She watched as red spots began to run up his neck, but he didn’t say anything in response.
Since he wasn’t talking, Astrid said, “I don’t know why I forgot that. Your name isn’t exactly common.”
“You were concussed, and that affected your brain. You remember now because your brain is now mostly healed.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“It should be, yes.” He looked away, the red still moving slowly up his neck.
Astrid reached up and put her hand over his. “What’s wrong, Phoenix?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve… never mind.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Believe me, it’s best that I not open my mouth.”
“It’s been a long time since you what?”
“Nothing, Astrid. Don’t worry about it.”
“But I am worried about it.” Her heart beat a little faster, but not because of what had happened to her.
“It’s not something worth discussing.” He seemed to be unable to look at her.
Astrid thought back to her childhood, and while it was far from perfect, she always felt supported. “One time, I got in a fight with some kids after school. I had to go downtown to get stuff to help Dad since he wasn’t able to leave home by that point. I ran into some other high school kids, and you probably know how horrible they can be.”
He offered a weak smile.
Astrid began tapping a finger on his hand. “One of the guys dating one of the girls I was fighting decided to join in. He was a big guy, like 6-foot-5 big. He was a member of the football team, he was already guaranteed a place at Notre Dame, and he was on track to get into the NFL. His parents wanted him to get a degree, too; that way, he wouldn’t spend all of the family fortune once he took over his father’s company.”
“I think I understand the kind of guy you are talking about.”
“Yeah, well, you know how we are a lot stronger than humans, so I was really holding back while taking on four girls who decided to jump me. When it became clear they weren’t going to take me down, he decided to step in to ‘protect his woman.’
“The first punch to the side of my head took me by surprise, but I shook it off. At that point, I didn’t really see what everyone else was doing, and I think a couple of the guys were upset because I remember some people yelling at him. Of course, that could have been strangers since we were downtown. Well, I just reacted and did not hold back at all. He went down hard.
“He woke up a few days later in the hospital, and the story of what happened was circulating. But of course, it wasn’t the actual story, just one that wouldn’t damage his and his family’s pride. No cops were called because what guy like that would admit to being KO’d by a girl? It helped that no one was able to accept what they saw. Some people in the area had seen him punch me, so he couldn’t say that the attack was unprovoked.
“So, the story became that I reacted by turning around and scaring him by attacking with my fingernails.” She held up her nails, which were fairly short.
Phoenix smiled. “They look scary.”
“Yeah, well, I used to chew them, so they look better than they used to. Anyway, they all agreed that he was startled, stepped back, tripped over the curb, and then hit his head on it. That explained the huge bruise on the side of his face—although it was on the wrong side from where his head actually hit the pavement. His family paid for the things that the other kids broke in an effort to keep me from pressing charges—there were too many people who saw what had happened to claim I started anything.”
“Sounds like you had it rough growing up.”
“I never really thought so because I had my dad. Of course, he was not nearly so kind after the incident. I had to do a lot of extra chores because things could have gone much differently. As you said, I’m fairly temperamental, and it was infinitely worse when I was young. He told me that I had to learn how to fight with words instead of actions, which got me into hacking. That’s a whole different kettle of fish. But the surprising thing was that the guy did a complete one-eighty afterward. He dumped his girlfriend and spent the rest of the school year trying to get me to date him.”
Phoenix looked down at her, then started laughing. “He wanted a woman who could dominate him, huh?’
Astrid laughed. “I think so. But he’d punched me in the head, so there was no chance I would ever say yes. His parents were so distraught that he was getting hung up on the weirdo with the dying dad, so they transferred him for the rest of high school.”
Phoenix shook his head. “I’ll bet you have a lot of stories about your past.”
“I really do.” She smiled up at him as the warmth continued to spread through her. “And I would love to share them with you.”
He tapped a finger on her chest. “You just don’t learn, do you?” Then, he pulled his hand away. “That’s probably enough for now.”
Disappointment moved through her, so Astrid sat up a bit. “It already feels a little tighter now that you aren’t touching me.”
“It’s still working its way through your system. Eventually, it’ll be expelled, and you’ll feel much better.”
Astrid reached up and took his hand. “You know what really baffles me?”
Phoenix looked down at their hands. “The fact that you seem to love being reckless?”
“No, it’s how comfortable I feel around you. I’ve never felt that way with people who weren’t related to me, probably because I haven’t tried to get close to anyone in a long time.”
“It’s very poor judgment on your part.”
“I think it’s because I can understand how isolated you feel. Sure, I had a couple of people in my corner when I was young, but I never had a real connection with people outside of my family. Perhaps because I had too much to do at home, or perhaps because I never felt like I belonged. Granted, I’m a shifter, and I didn’t belong.” She smiled.
Phoenix sat on the bed next to her. “I get what you are saying. And I’m sure that now that you know you can feel something with other people, you’ll be able to make those connections.”
Astrid slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. I’m too temperamental. I belong in the shadows, hacking away at a computer and pouncing on my prey.” She smiled and bit down on her bottom lip.
Phoenix sighed. “You really refuse to listen. Is there no way I can convince you not to pursue any kind of relationship with me?”
Astrid moved forward a little, pulling her legs up to move closer to him. His eyes followed her movements. She picked up his hand and placed it back over her heart, and the warmth began to spread through her again. Leaning forward, she kept her eyes on him as she kissed the side of his mouth.
“Bad answer,” he murmured as he put his other hand under her chin. He tilted her head back a little, then kissed her. Astrid dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck as she pressed her body against his. Phoenix’s hands were hesitant as he moved them to her hips.
Moving fast, Astrid got in his lap and straddled him as she deepened the kiss. When she pulled away, she muttered, “I’ve never wanted to do that before.”
“Never?” He asked, looking up at her with a mixture of confusion, pain, and lust.
She shook her head. The way his smile brightened half his face was imprinted on her memory as he said, “Me, neither.”
He lifted her up and dropped her on the bed. Astrid had her legs wrapped around him and pulled him down on top of her. The way his cool blue eyes looked down at her, the cat shifter thought she knew exactly what he was thinking.
“If you tell me this is a bad idea, I’m going to violently disagree with you.” As she said it, Astrid let her claws out just enough to dig into his back.
His eyes shone, but whatever resolve he had didn’t last. Phoenix lowered himself and began to kiss her neck. She expected that he would ask if she was sure or try to persuade her that it was a bad idea. His apparent enthusiasm was intoxicating.
She pulled at his shirt as she let her body act on its own. When his shirt was removed, she saw that Phoenix had several deep scars on his body, and she froze. He just watched as she reached up and touched the one across his chest.
“What happened?”
“My father deepened the curse when he felt we could use more power. It was after that when the Sextons’ father died.”
Astrid looked at the marks; there were more than a dozen. Several questions ran through her mind, but the cat shifter didn’t want to ask them in case it would make him stop. Instead, she pushed her hips into his and moved up to kiss down the scar. Phoenix closed his eyes and moaned, his arms flexing as he held up both his weight and hers.
“I want you,” she murmured. Then she placed a finger over his lips. “Just for tonight.”
His eyes looked darker, as if a shadow passed over them, but Phoenix nodded. He lay her down again, stripping her as he did. First, her shirt, then her bra, with a bit of help. Soon, she was naked beneath him. Slowly, he removed the rest of his clothing. Then, threading his fingers through hers, Phoenix stretched her arms over her head and moved her legs apart with his own. While kissing her neck, she leaned back to give him more access as her hips started pushing against his. Finally, he kissed her mouth, his tongue moving slowly between her lips as he moved his shaft slowly against her opening. He brushed against her, stroking her and teasing her until she pulled her mouth away and let out a frustrated groan.
“What’s the rush?” he asked near her ear.
“I just want you, and I’m not a patient person.”
Phoenix looked down at her and he held her hands tightly as his head pressed between her lips. There was a surge through her body at the sensation of him moving against her; then she threw her head back as she stiffened. Phoenix moved slowly, sliding just his tip in and out of her as she orgasmed.
As soon as she could speak, she looked at him. “More, please.”
He began to slowly work further into her, his hands never letting go of hers as she felt every inch of him against and inside her. She could feel his muscles tighten as she came again, but she wasn’t sure how to give him the same kind of release. After coming down, she started trying to work her muscles, squeezing him as he slid out, and when he let out a guttural moan, she knew it was working.
She finally looked up at him, his blue eyes reflecting the light and darkness of the room. They held the gaze as he began to speed up, his movements more urgent and less controlled. Focusing on him, she moved her hips and muscles to match his pace and tilted her lower body to take him in deeper. Their movements were in sync as she felt him stiffen inside her. Astrid pulled him down to kiss him as he finally released inside of her. Her body responded by tightening against him, and they held each other through the experience.
“More,” he growled in her ear as he finally released her hands, sliding his own down her back and grabbing her hips. He pulled her up so that she was resting against the headboard. This time, he was not slow as he began to move inside of her.
Astrid dropped her head back, allowing her breast to bounce as he pounded into her. The way he was looking at her and touching her body made the cat shifter feel wild. She began to match his frenetic energy with her own.
Even as they felt the bed give out under them, she hoped that the night would never end.