Blood of Hercules (Villains of Lore #1)

24. Suffering

Chapter 24

Suffering

Alexis: The beginning of December

I blinked and tried to focus my vision as we waited for the next class to start.

It didn’t work.

The early December temperatures were beyond punishing. Another week of the crucible (hell on earth) had passed, and I was starving and sleep-deprived.

At this point, it was just a normal day in my life.

The six of us sat silently in semicatatonic states as our breaths puffed frosty. Everything was a hazy blur of chattering teeth and hellacious suffering. Cold gnawed at my frozen bones.

Leo had been dead for a few weeks.

I held his hand while he died and his fingers spasmed in my grip.

My lashes fluttered, and white obstructed my vision where frost stuck to them.

Nyx was a heavy frozen block wrapped around my waist. She’d moved from my neck to my torso. She said it was slightly warmer beneath the loose fabric of my toga—now deep in brumation, she didn’t so much as twitch.

I rocked back and forth, missing the summer heat, and fantasized about food.

This is officially worse than high school.

At this point, I’d sell both of my kidneys on the black market for a chance to hug Charlie and have Jessica tell me I smelled.

In the front of the room, General Cleandro wore a heavy black coat, and his hawk sat in the furry hood on the back of his neck. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he wore a permanent frown.

Everyone had been on edge since the Titan incident.

Voices whispered, and I snapped my head to the right (barely moved an inch). In my peripheral vision, a blurred skeletal monster flashed dagger-sharp teeth.

Eyes widening in horror, I gaped at the—empty space.

There was nothing there.

Just ice-covered rocks and Titus, who was trying to eviscerate me with his eyes. He’d resumed heckling me after Leo had been brutally murdered; apparently the death of his friend had inspired him to bully others.

The male mind was fascinating (horrifying).

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Titus sneered with pale-blue lips.

I blinked slowly. “A w-waste of oxygen.”

Wow—did I actually say that out loud? Holy crap. I’m amazing. I wish Carl Gauss was here to see me shine .

Titus was a blurry smudge of manic energy as he leaned toward me. “Say that again, bitch. I fucking dare you. See what happens.”

“You’re a waste,” I said slowly. “Of oxy?—”

The door slammed open, and Augustus barked, “Alexis, turn the fuck around and stop flirting with Titus or you’ll all run the crucible—again.”

Titus snapped his jaw shut, and the rest of the class whimpered.

A scream of despair filled my chest as I forced my frozen neck to turn back forward.

The only thing I’m flirting with is cardiac arrest.

In the front of the dim-lit room, Augustus wore nothing but a toga—his tan arms were on display, muscles bulging obscenely (not that I noticed)—and yet again he was glaring at me.

Apparently, he had a personal vendetta against me living a good life.

People really need to focus on themselves. Ever heard of self-improvement ?

I rubbed at the hair ties on my wrists and averted my gaze. The back of my neck prickled like he was still staring.

“Leaping, like oaths and bonding, is all about having a strong concept of home,” Augustus said in Latin as he lectured. “It’s all about focusing on the feeling of safety and protection—most Spartans imagine a person. Now close your eyes and focus.”

Luckily my eyes were already closed (I was going into a coma).

Immediately Charlie popped into my head.

My chest twisted with heartsickness. Sternum burning with misery, I forced my thoughts blank because it hurt too much to think about him.

I didn’t have a home, not anymore.

“Open your eyes. What do you envision?” Augustus asked.

No one spoke.

“Alexis,” he said. “Who did you picture?”

Nails gouged my forearm, and I jolted. I hadn’t realized I was clutching at my tattoo. “I s-saw Charlie. He’s my—” I cut myself off, horrified by how much I was speaking. Don’t tell the Spartans about him. Pull it together, woman .

Augustus’s expression twisted with madness.

Poco hissed.

“Who the fuck—” He walked forward and stopped an inch away from where I sat. “—is Charlie?”

His stance was wide, and he loomed above me with his hands fisted.

Why does he freak out about everything I say?

Swallowing thickly, I tipped my neck back. “No one.”

Long painful seconds passed as he towered in front of me like he was trying to intimidate me with his size.

I rocked back and forth faster.

Augustus unfurled his fist, then leaned forward with his hand extended. He was reaching toward me. My eyes widened, breath hanging in the air between us as he neared in seemingly slow motion.

Everyone in the class stared with anticipation.

I waited (eagerly) for him to strangle me to death.

General Cleandro cleared his throat.

Augustus’s arm snapped back to his side, fingers flexing, and he shook his head like he was coming out of a daze. Poco screamed and stuck out his tongue at me.

I would have screamed back, but I was too exhausted.

Augustus turned around and stomped back to the front of the classroom, without a word of explanation for his bizarre behavior.

“What was that?” Drex whispered under his breath, eyes wide as he looked back and forth between me and Augustus.

That was a rabid racoon and a foiled assassination attempt.

I opened my mouth to respond, but I forgot how to speak, and no sound came out.

Foreign voices whispered in my periphery.

My vision unfocused.

I couldn’t see a darn thing.

Manic laughter trickled from my lips, but it wasn’t funny. Nothing was.

Reality was unraveling at the seams.

At the front of the classroom, Augustus cleared his throat and resumed lecturing. At least, that was what I assumed was happening because his mouth was opening and closing, and he was writing on the chalkboard.

I blinked .

Time twisted and warped.

“Alexis, can you help me with this for a second?” Drex called.

I startled awake and realized we were on a break, studying in the library (the other boys were sitting at the table; I was lying in front of the fire, studying the back of my eyelids).

Groaning, I got to my feet.

“ Noooo ,” Nyx moaned beneath my toga as I moved away from the warm hearth.

Shuffling behind a bookcase, I pulled her out of my toga (while trying to make it look like I was just stretching). I laid her in front of the fireplace. “I’ll return for you.”

“Please don’t,” she hiss-mumbled.

I chose not to be offended as I staggered over to Drex.

A few hours later, everything got hazy again.

I was walking (stumbling as Drex pulled me forward by the front of my toga) down the narrow dark corridor toward the menagerie.

How did I get here? Are we going to see the animals again?

Augustus led at the front, and the six of us followed. He stalked through the icy darkness, unbothered like the cold didn’t dare touch him.

My teeth chattered so hard my jaw ached.

Every step sent sharp pain jolting down my spine, which was abused from sitting hunched over for hours.

Augustus stopped abruptly, and the six of us bumped into one another. Moans echoed in the dark.

No one was well.

Augustus threw open the menagerie door. “Everyone, inside,” he ordered.

We shuffled forward.

“Except Alexis,” he said.

Despair punched me in the gut as my feet stilled.

The rest of the class entered through the brightly lit door, but Drex shifted in front of me protectively .

It was just the three of us.

Augustus cracked his neck loudly and took a single step toward us. “Drex—get inside, now.”

Sunlight illuminated the scar across his sharp cheekbone, and his black eyes smoldered with mania.

How does anyone actually believe that he’s a nice guy?

There was a long tense moment as Drex stared up at him. Then my friend nodded and gave me an apologetic look as he walked away into the menagerie.

Augustus pulled the door shut behind him with a crack.

Just the two of us were left.

In the dark.

Before I could move (sprint as fast as possible straight into the wall and knock myself out), a force slammed into me. Oh nice, the wall ran into me. How convenient.

The wall was warm, and it moved.

It smelled dangerous and intoxicating.

I gasped in confusion.

Tingles sparked along my nerves, and I struggled to orient myself as my vision cleared.

Augustus’s neck blinked into shadowy focus.

I yelped.

His fingers were wrapped tightly around my upper arms, and his hard chest was heaving. He was pressed flush against me, and his hot breath was the warmth tickling my ear. He was pinning me against the wall with his body.

Prickles exploded across my frozen skin.

Help?

His heartbeat pounded through the thin material of both our togas and mingled with my own.

He inhaled loudly, and his steel stomach muscles rippled against my torso. The strange sensation caused a burning to start in my lower stomach .

Butterflies fluttered.

“Professor?” I asked slowly, unable to put anything else into words.

“Alexis,” Augustus growled my name darkly, shifting his head so his stubble scraped against the side of my face.

Every muscle in my body tensed.

Heat pooled low as the butterflies turned vicious and ravaged me from the inside out.

“I’ll give you one more chance to answer. Who—” Augustus’s knee wedged between my legs and forced them apart as his heavy weight leaned into me and pinned me harder against the rocky wall. “—the fuck is Charlie?”

I couldn’t tell where he began and I ended.

A lot is happening right now .

The killer butterflies multiplied inside my stomach, and my knees trembled.

Clearing my dry throat, I struggled to speak. “Why d-do you care?” I whispered into the dark.

A sinful, humorless laugh echoed, and his chest vibrated against mine. Sharp sensations traveled from my chest to my core.

Everything was on fire.

His lips lingered dangerously close to my ear. “Because—no other man is allowed to have you,” he said silkily.

The words were a punch to the gut, and my eyes slammed open.

I reared back and hit my head against the rocks by accident. A loud crack echoed, and Augustus swore.

Just what I needed on top of everything else, a concussion .

He pressed me harder against the wall so I couldn’t move. His grip was hard enough to bruise.

“What are you talking about, Professor?” I asked with genuine confusion.

What game is he playing?

The scent of electricity burned caustic in the air, like lightning had struck between us .

His fingers flexed and held me still.

“When Chthonic lives are at risk, it’s my job as eldest heir to know everything,” Augustus said darkly. “Answer the question. Now.”

This is about my mentors. Why is everything always about Patro and Achilles becoming generals?

Blood-covered eyes glowed faintly in the dark, the only source of light.

Pressure burned behind my eyes. There was a stabbing sensation. “ Tell me !” a foreign voice demanded inside my skull.

I ripped my gaze away and stared at the floor as throbbing pain pierced my head.

He’s trying to break my mind again.

Trembles shook my limbs, and my teeth chattered.

Long tense moments passed.

“Look at me!” Augustus ordered silkily out loud.

I didn’t obey.

Staring at the floor, I focused on not becoming a mindless zombie, which was becoming surprisingly hard these days.

The tension between us was a live wire of electricity, and our breaths were loud and labored.

I waited for him to attack.

He waited to make his attack.

His fingers dug harder into the bare skin of my biceps.

Everything was so confusing—my head spun.

I’m too tired for this.

I slumped back against the icy wall.

Augustus whispered something about Chthonics into my left ear, but I couldn’t hear it. Also, I’d forgotten what we were talking about.

Exhaustion hammered mercilessly.

Where am I?

Gently he pulled me away from the wall and down the dark hall.

A door opened, and there was a bright, blinding light. He whispered something about taking care of myself and gathered the extra material of his toga. He softly dragged it over my face.

Either he’s cleaning off dirt or getting ready to suffocate me?

Either way, I stood still and let it happen.

“Do you need me to get you anything?” His voice sounded far away. “I can’t do much to help—but I can try.”

“A lobotomy,” I mumbled.

He muttered something about a “difficult, exhausted pain in his ass.” They sound cool .

Suddenly, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me through the door, then he placed me down gingerly. “Sit here—do not move a muscle. You’ll only hurt yourself,” he ordered, which was ironic because he’d just tried to break my mind.

“You better not move,” I countered smartly, then fell over. Defying gravity was hard work.

“Seriously, Alexis, just stay here and wait for me to come back,” Augustus said. “Please don’t move.”

He backed away, and the door closed.

I was alone.

It was just me, myself, and my insightful thoughts.

I have a feeling the earth is actually flat .

It was hard being so wise all the time.

Time fractured around me.

Everything blurred.

I blinked—I was lying spread-eagle on a snow-covered bank of a familiar lake. The water was frozen, and so was I.

Birds flew overhead, and my classmates’ voices sounded from a tree line nearby.

I sat up with a moan.

Oh, look , I was back in the menagerie.

There was dirt and blood all over my bare knees, and a trail of red covered the snow behind me, like I’d been crawling.

Faintly I remembered Augustus ordering me to not move .

Oopsie .

Stretching, I winced as my spinal cord popped like machine gunfire.

Rolling my aching neck from side to side, I marveled at the unnatural patch of white on the top of my hand.

Oh yay, frostbite.

It was official: I was not living a good life.

God, is this because of that one M-rated Carl Gauss fanfic I wrote? Please forgive me. I knew it was wrong when I was writing it, but I couldn’t stop myself.

There was a loud hacking noise.

Understood, God, I will be better.

The noise repeated, and I turned. The cheetah creature from before crept over to where my blood covered the snow and sniffed it.

It lifted its head up with its pupils blown out. All the hair on its body stood on edge, then it yowled as it sprinted away.

“Rude—I bet I taste delicious,” I called after it. “You’re missing out.”

A hiss echoed from the trees.

“That’s just unnecessary,” I grumbled under my breath.

Apparently, I wasn’t good enough to befriend or to eat. It shouldn’t have hurt so badly, but it did.

It was the principle of things.

I poked miserably at the patch of frozen skin on my hand.

Fluffy Jr. suddenly sprinted out from behind dead grasses toward me, wagging his tail (if that was what you could call the white thing that trailed behind him).

He turned his head. A stick was halfway down his throat, jutting out of his muzzle like a point.

He was so beautiful.

“Hey, little guy.” Tears poured down my cheeks. “I really—missed you. Are you okay? How have you been? You’re so beautiful.”

It was so great to see a friendly face .

I needed this.

“Things have been really—hard for me lately, especially since Nyx is always asleep,” I confessed with a sniffle as I wiped my blurry eyes. “You being here right now means a lot. I can’t even tell you.”

Fluffy Jr. wiggled his body, then tipped his head down and stabbed the end of the stick deeper.

He choked and fell over.

Stressful minutes of CPR later, I was on my hands and knees gasping from exertion, clutching a saliva-covered stick.

Fluffy Jr. celebrated surviving his near-death experience by running in a circle and chasing his misshapen butt.

I debated crossing the menagerie and begging the monstrous creature to end me. Lord knows the cheetah’s too cowardly to do it .

But it was a long walk.

Would it kill the beast to be a little more conveniently located?

“Time’s up!” Augustus roared from the doorway. “Everyone out in five minutes or you’re running the crucible. Alexis—where the fuck did you go? I told you not to move!” His rage echoed through the cavernous menagerie.

Oh, that can’t be good .

Fluffy Jr. used my momentary distraction to run up and grab the half-digested stick back out of my hand.

I stared at him.

He stuck it back down his throat.

Apparently, everyone is struggling with their mental health these days. Who am I to judge?

Groaning, I staggered to my aching feet, then shuffled toward the door, leaving Fluffy Jr. to his own morbid devices.

I smiled and limped casually by Augustus, who was waiting for all of us at the door. He had a fluffy hunchback—Poco’s tiny hands were clutched together at the front of his neck.

Augustus stared down at my bloody knees.

Tan features turned purple, his hands fisted, and a vein pulsed on his forehead. His jaw was clenched so tightly I could practically hear his teeth grinding together.

Luckily, he said nothing. Just whirled around and marched back along the path as we all hurried to keep up with him.

Poco turned his head back and hissed at me.

“You have rabies,” I mouthed silently.

Poco showed how not rabid he was by shoving half of Augustus’s ponytail into his mouth and screeching at the top of his lungs.

“Real mature,” I said.

Drex looked over at me with concern.

Time shifted.

Hours later, I rocked back and forth as Pine lectured about the number zero.

“Alexis,” he said. “What did I say a month ago is a tenant of Thagorean ethics that allows you to divide fractions of zero?”

The rest of the class looked at me with panicked expressions.

“Unreal n-numbers,” I said numbly as my teeth chattered. The answer was so obvious I didn’t even have to think about it, which was good because at the moment, a lot of thought processing was not happening.

Pine beamed. “Correct—right again. Your mind is truly impressive.”

Carl Gauss would push me to be better, not praise me for answering stupid questions .

The class relaxed.

I remained tensed (half-catatonic).

Voices whispered behind me, and my neck prickled. The voices aren’t real. Pull it together, Alexis .

I blinked.

Drex was pulling me into the library. “Come on, we have four hours to study,” he said as he pushed me gently into my usual chair.

Time is strange.

I fell out of it and sprawled onto the floor.

Alessander crawled past on his hands and knees, with blue lips and eyes bloodshot from sleep deprivation.

We nodded at each other.

Real recognized real.

Drex hauled me up by the front of my toga, sat me down in the chair, then tucked it in tightly before I could fall out of it.

“T-T-Tanks,” I garbled.

He grunted and nodded, then collapsed into his own seat across from me.

Shaking, I could barely grab my textbook and open it.

An index card fluttered out.

Messy words were scratched hastily in ink: