20. Matilda
20
MATILDA
Panting, I reach Draven’s bedroom door and knock on it louder than I meant to.
He opens it immediately and stares at me. He is shirtless, and I drool a little bit.
“Hi.”
He nods.
“Can we talk?”
He steps back to let me in but doesn’t say anything, which unnerves me. Does he know? Is he mad? I can’t read him, and it’s scaring me. After I brush past him, he closes the door, and then he leans against it, his eyes searching mine.
“I don’t really know where to start,” I say, trying to gather my thoughts. I’ve never been in this position before, and it shows. “I guess I need to know, what are we? Are we dating? Or just fucking…?”
“What would you like us to be doing?” he asks after a too-long pause that makes my pits sweat.
I frown that he has placed the ball in my court. “I have no idea. I kissed someone else.” The words tumble out, and he stares at me but doesn’t react. At all. I don’t think he even breathes. “I didn’t mean to. He was helping me with my magick. It’s the TA from the Advanced Dark Magick class, Vex. We met in the library after he offered to help me. You know I can’t attend that class. You were there when I spoke to Blackthorn.” I wring my hands, getting desperate for him to say something—anything at this point.
But he doesn’t. Just that consistent stare as he lets me talk myself into a corner.
“Things got heated, not in the sexual way, just magickally, and then I kissed him. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
Those four words crush my soul more than I’d like. “Because I kissed him behind your back.”
He snorts. “What are we? In high school? I don’t give a shit, Tilly.” He pushes off from the door and strides towards me as my heart plummets.
“Okay,” I stammer, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.” I duck around him, but he reaches out and stops me with a light hand on my arm.
“Don’t go. We aren’t done yet.”
I force myself to meet his gaze. It’s still blank. I’m getting nothing from him.
“I don’t understand,” I whimper, the stress of this situation getting to me.
His gaze bores into mine and something flickers in the depths of those azure pools, but I don’t know what it is. “Do you want to be with him?”
I shake my head, but I know it’s a lie.
His hands close around my arm and he pulls me closer to him. “Do you want to be with him, Matilda?”
I lick my lips. “Maybe, I don’t know. I want to be with you.”
“You are with me. This isn’t about us.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m asking if you want to be with him. As well.”
“As well?”
He nods slowly. “Remember I told you about my family? I’m not as closed-minded as some. Do you want him?”
I blink, searching his gaze. “Yes. I think so.”
He releases me and steps back. “So the question is, do you want to be a circle or separate?”
“What?” I ask, shaking my head. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“A circle.” He waves his hand about. “Together. Do you want to see us together, or do you want to keep us separate?”
“What do you mean by together?” I whisper.
His mouth goes up on one side as he moves closer. He tilts my chin up, so I have to meet his stare. “Together, Tilly, is what it means. You between us as we fuck you until you can’t even remember your name… or you see him, and then you see me. Which is it?”
My breath comes out in a loud pant. The thought of being sandwiched between the two of them makes my insides shiver with arousal. But how would that work? “I don’t know,” I admit. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“Then you need to go and think about it, petal.” He steps back and turns his back to me. “In the meantime, we will carry on as we are.”
“You still want to be with me?” I croak, needing him to say it because this conversation did not go how I thought it would. I thought he would be mad and tell me to go to hell.
He faces me again with a sigh. “Obviously, petal. I am not letting you go and be with him when I crave you more than air to breathe. Do you still want to be with me?”
“Yes,” I rasp. “We have something I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to walk away from this yet.”
“Yet?” He raises an eyebrow. “You can never walk away from me, petal. Never. You are mine. You can be with whoever else you choose, but I am never letting you go. Are we clear about that?”
My heart hammers, and my pussy is practically flooding my knickers at his darkly possessive words. I want to push him, to see how far he is willing to go for me. It’s a sick, twisted kind of validation. “And what if I don’t want to stay?” I ask, my chin lifted high.
His eyes flash dangerously. His expression turns frightening, and the air around us goes frigid. My nipples peak painfully. “That is not an option, petal. You will not walk away from me. I won’t let you.”
We lock gazes as I struggle for breath. Two steps forward and I’m on my knees in front of him, reaching for his belt.
His hands clamp around my wrists. “No.” He hauls me to my feet.
“You don’t want me?” I ask quietly.
“Not like this. Go and think about what you want, Matilda. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Draven—”
“Go.”
He lets me go and flings the door open with his magick. I have no choice but to leave with my dignity in tatters. I slip out and run down the hallway to my room. Bursting in, I close the door and lock it, sliding down the dark wood until my arse hits the floor, and I pull my knees up.
The bag under the bed catches my attention, and I groan. Gripping the pendant, I choke on the sob that wants to rip out of my throat, but I won’t cry about this. Never again. The betrayal hurts worse than anything, but now that I can think clearly, it doesn’t make sense.
Frowning, I crawl over to the bed and pull the bag of jewels out. I open it and stare at the contents. If Janice wasn’t on my side, why did she give me this and tell me to run? Why did she give me time to get out of the house and come to a place that offers sanctuary if she was as bad as the rest of my family? I hold the pendant again. It is a protection crystal. It’s what amethysts do, but maybe my mother got to it before Janice could give it to me. That has to be it. Janice wouldn’t do this to me. I know she wouldn’t, and she wouldn’t give me a way to escape to a place where the family can’t get to me.
Nodding as this realisation makes more sense than anything else, I put my hand over the bag and cast the cloaking spell.
The bag vanishes from sight, and I push it back under the bed, still solid, just invisible.
Pushing myself to my feet, I strip off and fold the clothes neatly. Checking the dressing table drawers, I see that the clothes I chose from the lost and found are put away, and I pull out one of the oversized tees. It will have to do as pyjamas.
Hitting the shower, I stand under the hot torrent again, letting the heat seep into my bones. I close my eyes, and the face that pops into my mind is one I wasn’t expecting.
“Luc,” I murmur and feel a thrill rush through my body. Groaning softly, I recall how he jumped in front of Stryker in my nightmare that I dragged him into. The way he changed form and defended me from the warlock. I haven’t really had a chance to process any of it yet with everything else that has gone on. Cupping my pussy, I squeeze and then slide my fingers over my clit.
I gasp softly as I stroke myself, Luc’s image vivid in my mind. The hot water cascades over my skin as I lean against the shower wall, my fingers circling faster. I imagine his strong hands on my body, his lips trailing kisses down my neck. A low moan escapes me as the pressure builds.
But then Vex’s face flashes in my mind. His intense blue eyes, that wicked smirk. I remember the feel of his lips on mine, the way he held me possessively. My fingers move more urgently as I picture both men touching me, kissing me.
“Draven!” The name tumbles from my lips when I slip two fingers inside my pussy. Dangerous, protective Draven. The way he looked at me tonight, telling me I’m his. That I can never leave him. A shudder runs through me at the memory.
“Oh gods,” I whimper as the pleasure intensifies. I’m so close, trembling on the edge as I imagine all three men worshipping my body. My back arches as the orgasm crashes over me, making me cry out.
I slump against the wall, panting heavily as the aftershocks ripple through me. Draven has accepted Vex, but his half-brother? I don’t think there will be anything on this earth or the next that would make that okay with him.
And I’m not going to push my luck. Luc is off-limits.
So the question hangs in the air as I turn the shower off and reach for the towel. Do I want Draven and Vex together or separate?