7
BLOOM
T he governor droned on about what had happened at the hospital, condemning the brutal act that had left many dead.
“I want you all to know that such acts of violence and terror will not be tolerated in our society. We have worked too hard to improve the state of living in the town and to make you, the citizens, feel safe. It is with great pride that I acknowledge this brave young man,”—he gestured toward me—“who is the true embodiment of courage and resilience. He stood up against violence and saved lives. Let him be an example for all of us working together to put a stop to the violence that wreaks havoc in our lives. Today, we owe him our gratitude.”
No, I didn’t deserve their gratitude, but for Logan…for the club, I suffered through being paraded to the front. The governor handed me a cerulean-blue plaque bearing the golden seal of the state, inscribed with the words “courage,” “heroism,” and “valor.” Not that I knew what the last one meant, but it had to be positive and important. A few community leaders also offered gifts: gift cards to local stores and restaurants, free groceries for six months, and a twenty-thousand-dollar check. Not knowing what to do with the money, I gave it to Logan.
“This is yours,” he said when he’d wheeled me back to our seats.
“You keep it. What am I supposed to do with that money?”
Logan shook his head and squeezed my hand. “I’ll hang on to it for you, but this is your money, and you get to spend it on anything you want.”
Other plaques were handed out to hospital staff who had shown bravery that day. I frowned, clutching the arms of my chair. Logan deserved to be recognized too. He’d been willing to sacrifice himself for the others. Had I not restrained him, he would have given his life for them. But he was snubbed. And I knew whose fault it was. Andrews. I’d heard Jamie mention that the man was trying everything in his power to get Logan permanently removed from his position at the hospital.
I imagined bludgeoning him to death with my plaque and watching him bleed out on local TV. But Logan would disapprove, and I would end up in prison and spend the rest of my life away from him.
Finally, the event ended, and I gave a sigh of relief. Gunner and Bay came over with their men in tow.
“Bloom, congrats, runt.” Bay softly punched me in the shoulder. “You’re the people’s hero.”
“Fuck off,” I shot back, certain he was making fun of me. We both knew I wasn’t a hero. If any of them fucked with Logan, they would see how quickly I turned.
Gunner chuckled. “It’s good to see being shot hasn’t mellowed you. Can’t have our best enforcer going soft on us.”
“You’re looking well, Bloom,” Ben said. He rested a hand on Gunner’s stomach. “I need to have a word with the new chief of police. Can you behave for once?”
Gunner didn’t seem to understand the concept because he smacked Ben’s ass as he walked away. Ben shook his head, but his lips were tilted. He liked the attention.
“I should take Bloom back to his room,” Logan said. Relief filled me. I’d had enough of the crowd, and the same reporter from earlier was inching toward me.
“If there’s anything you need, you can always let me know,” Gerald said, soft-spoken as always. It was still a mystery to me how Bay fell so hard for him. He was a mousy man who seemed bland. Although I had thought Logan was cold until the first time we slept together. Never would I have thought him capable of saying the filth he did when we fucked.
Logan pushed me toward the exit.
“Bloom, is it true that you made a statement that you wouldn’t have saved everyone if not for Dr. Collier?”
The reporter’s question was loud enough for a few people to look at us.
“Out of my way,” Logan snapped, wheeling me past the woman. Gunner and Bay stepped in front of the reporter, blocking her and giving us the chance to leave.
“You okay?” Logan asked.
“I’m fine,” I muttered, although the stress of the evening was beginning to claw at my nerves. “Just a little tired.”
Logan swore under his breath, walking faster. “I’m sorry I told you to accept the award. No more public appearances after this, I promise. Not even ones orchestrated by Andrews as a publicity stunt for the hospital.”
We made it back to my room, the quiet a relief after the bustle. Logan picked me up and carried me over to the bed, where he gently removed my shoes and clothes and helped me back into the hospital gown, which had become my daily attire. His touch was warm, tender, and he dropped kisses on my face absentmindedly that made me all soft and smiley when he pulled the sheet up to my waist.
I scowled.
“What’s with the angry face?” Logan sat next to me.
“I’m becoming too soft.”
He brushed a lock of hair from my face. The black hair dye was fading, exposing the blond underneath. “Is that a bad thing?”
“There’s no such thing as a soft biker. I didn’t survive by being soft.”
“Well, you have me now. You don’t have to fight to survive anymore, Bloom. You can let go.”
“And hold on to what?”
“Me.”
His words rang with a quiet certainty. He met my eyes with a steady gaze that held nothing but honest sincerity. I sighed, clenching the sheet. I wanted to please him so much, but I couldn’t promise him I would lose my edge.
“It’s okay.” He took my hands, squeezing them. “I don’t expect you to change overnight, but that’s fine. We have the rest of our lives together.”
The rest of our lives together.
I liked the sound of that. I liked it a lot.
“There, that’s the smile I love.”
I made a face. “Now you’re being mushy. I love it when you treat me this way while you’re mean to everyone.”
“I’m mean to everyone?”
“Yes, you were mean to me at first too.”
“But then you wore me down.”
“And made you fall in love with me.”
“Yeah, you did.” A faraway look entered his eyes as he brushed my cheek with his thumb. “It would kill me if anything happened to you, Bloom.”
“Good. Then you’ll take care of me.”
“Always, but there’s something I need to tell you.”
I shuffled closer to him, placing my head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and strong, a comforting rhythm that was slowly becoming my favorite sound.
“What is it?”
Logan’s breath hitched as if he was steeling himself for something. “You’ll be discharged soon.”
“I can’t wait. I didn’t grow up with luxury, but your place has spoiled me, Logan.”
He inhaled deeply, his chest expanding against my cheek. “That’s the thing, Bloom. When they discharge you, I want you to return to the clubhouse for a while.”
I jerked back, ignoring the discomfort in my chest from the fast movement and shrugging off the hand he tried to use to restrain me. “Why would you say that? You don’t want me anymore?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then why do you want to send me back to the clubhouse? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t. Bloom—”
“What the fuck, Logan!”
A cold shiver ran down my spine and spread a chill through my upper body. A terror I hadn’t felt even when I’d been shot coiled tightly in my gut. The words rang in my ears, echoing back at me like a cruel joke. But the look in Logan’s eyes was far from humorous. He was serious. He didn’t want me to live with him anymore.
“It’s not what you think. Bloom, for god’s sake, don’t let that brain of yours trick you into believing I don’t care about you. I love you.”
“Then why?”
“Because there are many people at the clubhouse who can help to give you the care you need while you’re still recuperating. It doesn’t mean I’m leaving you alone. You’ll find that I’ll spend most of my time there with you.”
But the clubhouse was so different from his place. We wouldn’t have the privacy we did in his home. My bedroom was no place for a man like Logan either. Why would he leave the comfort of his two-story home to shack up in a bedroom and shared living space with me?
“I don’t see why I can’t recuperate at your home unless there’s a reason you don’t want me to be there. Do you have someone else there?”
He gently rapped me on the forehead with his knuckles. “Foolish boy, how can I have the time to entertain anyone else? You’re already a handful on your own.”
Was that it, then? Did I exhaust him? Was he tired of me being stubborn and argumentative with him? The questions whirled in my mind, each one stinging more sharply than the last.
“I’ll change,” I whispered, tears clinging to my eyelashes. “Do you want me to be softer like the other boys? I can do it. I won’t talk back. Logan, please don’t send me away. I promise I’ll listen to everything you say from now on.”
I crossed my fingers in my lap. Unless it had to do with his safety. I could never compromise on that.
“Sweetheart.” Logan cupped the back of my head and gently urged me to sit on his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, clinging to him tightly. With my face buried in his neck, I inhaled deeply to control the stinging tears.
“Please, Logan. I can’t be away from you.”
“It’s only temporary.” He rubbed my back in circular motions. “Will you give it a try? I’ll bring some of my stuff over so you’ll feel at ease that I’m not abandoning you. I’ll be there with you.”
I still didn’t understand it, but did I have a choice? If he said it was for my health, I had to trust him. Logan wouldn’t lie to me.
“You promise to stay with me?”
“I swear.”
“You won’t ever abandon me?”
“Never.”
I shuddered against him, feeling a little better. If he stayed with me, being back at the clubhouse wouldn’t be too bad.
“Logan—”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“There’s no other reason you want me to stay at the clubhouse, is there?”
A second ticked by, followed by another. “No, I just want you to be safe and happy.”
Why did he hesitate? Was it just my imagination that he had?
“Okay,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.
He ran his fingers through my hair, a soft sigh passing his lips. “You’re not upset anymore?”
“I can’t be mad at you for long. Once you’re with me, it’s fine, but as soon as we can, we move back into your house.”
“Of course.” He chuckled, massaging my skull. “Then I’ll teach you how to swim so you can enjoy the pool.”
If he was making plans for us, then surely he wasn’t hiding anything from me. He still wanted us to be together. The tension in my shoulders eased, but I didn’t release my hold on him.
“I’m afraid of the water,” I confessed.
“Because of what happened when you nearly drowned in the pool?”
“Because of my parents.” I rested my chin on his shoulder and clamped my eyes shut. “It was a distant memory, but my sessions with Dr. Simms brought it back. My parents used to laugh while drowning me in a bucket of water. They used to gamble with their friends to see how long I could hold my breath.”
Logan stiffened beneath me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist in a protective cocoon. His silence was deafening, but I found comfort in his stillness. It meant he was processing my words, understanding the depth of my fear.
“Jesus,” he finally said. “That’s horrifying, Bloom. No child should ever have to endure such cruelty.”
A whimper escaped me. “I didn’t want to kill them, but I had to.” A sob caught in my throat. I was tough. I was a biker—an enforcer. I shouldn’t cry. Everything had happened so long ago.
“Shhh,” he whispered, cradling me closer. “You don’t have to explain, Bloom. You don’t have to justify it either.”
A shudder racked my body. I bit my lip to keep from sobbing openly, but a sound slipped out nonetheless.
“Why did they hate me so much, Logan? Did they somehow know that I was a monster?”
“Hey.” Logan took my face in his hands. I could barely see him through the tears that streamed over my cheeks. “You are not a monster. Do you hear me? What they did to you—that’s what made you adapt to survive. And you’ll adapt again once you find that you are safe and loved and cherished. Never again will anyone hurt you like they did. You have my word. I won’t let them.”
The sincerity of his voice was hard not to believe. But Logan was a doctor. He saved people’s lives. He was kind, a healer. How could he protect me?
“You are safe with me,” he repeated softly, his voice firm. His hands were steady and warm against my face as though I were something delicate and cherished. “I won’t let anyone harm you again.”
Maybe I really had gone soft because I believed him.