9
BLOOM
I tilted my face into the warmth of the sun, eyes closed, and breathed in deeply. I’d forgotten how it felt to be outside—the gentle wind brushing against my cheek, the fresh air untainted by the harsh tang of bleach.
Sweet Satan, but I wouldn’t mind if I never smelled bleach again.
The only thing that would make everything better was riding down the streets on my motorcycle.
Logan’s hand was steady on my shoulder, guiding me toward a black Chevy parked steps away. I leaned into his touch, pressing my shoulder a little closer to his, drawing out every ounce of connection. Funny how I’d never thought of myself as someone who needed to touch, to cling. But now, with Logan, I wanted it—wanted him—so fiercely it felt like air in my lungs.
When we reached the car, he opened the door and helped me to stand. The orderly grabbed the chair and wheeled it away like he was running a hundred-meter dash.
“This isn’t your car.” I brushed my fingertips over the door.
Logan leaned in close, voice low. “What? Afraid I’m kidnapping you?”
The corner of my mouth lifted. “You’re on, but I’d rather kidnap you instead. I’d tie you up and—”
“Yeah, yeah, I know what you’d do to me.”
“Would you mind?”
“If you’d asked me that before the hospital incident, I would have said ‘absolutely not.’”
“And now?”
“Why the hell not?”
“I love this new Logan.”
“Can you love me inside the car? We really should be going.”
At his gentle prodding, I eased into the seat carefully. He buckled me in like I was a little kid who couldn’t do it for myself, but I loved the attention. My feet itched to kick back and forth. What was this feeling in my chest? Was this what happiness felt like?
To think I was almost convinced I didn’t have a heart.
Once he was behind the wheel, I tapped his arm. “So, what’s up with this new car?”
“It’s a loaner from my insurance company.” He checked his rearview mirrors and backed out of the spot.
“Oh? Why did you need a loaner? Did you have an accident?”
“Not really. Listen, why don’t you tell me what you’re most excited about now that you’re out?”
Had he deliberately changed the subject? I crossed my arms, wincing at the twinge in my chest. The bandage wasn’t comfortable, but for now, I had to endure it.
“Sharing a bed with you, and I don’t mean the sex either. I miss sleeping in the same bed next to you and the way you snuggle me.”
Logan’s mouth curved, and his gaze flicked over to me. “Me too. We’ll have that tonight.”
“You’ll stay at the clubhouse?”
“Yeah, I told you I’d be there all the time. Didn’t you believe me?”
I breathed out deeply, relaxing in the seat. I hadn’t known what to make of Logan’s proposal that I recuperate at the clubhouse. Doubts had crept in, but maybe I was overreacting.
“You’d never lie to me, would you, Logan?”
Logan glanced in the rearview mirror. “Son of a bitch. What are they doing here?”
Motorcycle engines roared as we pulled onto the main road. I twisted around, pressing a hand against the window to get a better look. About a dozen of my brothers, decked out in their leather and colors, surrounded Logan’s car like a convoy.
“Where the hell did they come from?”
I grinned. Just hearing the gunning motorcycles made my heart speed up. I missed my bike. Had anyone ridden her while I was away?
“Looks like we have an escort. Crowe must’ve arranged it. Isn’t it great?”
“I guess.”
Logan sounded less than enthusiastic about the motorcade. He was gripping the steering wheel tight, and his lips were stretched into a thin line. Had I done something wrong?
Crowe.
When he’d called me last night, he’d sounded hesitant, as though hiding something from me. He’d even asked about my relationship with Logan and if I was sure I wanted to be with him. We’d almost fought when he told me I needed to resume my sessions with Dr. Simms.
“Logan, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He squeezed my hand. “It’s nice the bikers look out for you. I’m glad you have them.”
He was lying.
“You don’t mean that, do you?”
“I do. Bloom, let’s not talk about anything that’s going to ruin the day. You’re going home, and that’s all that matters.”
“Did Crowe do something while I was in the hospital? Logan, you gotta tell me. He’s like a brother to me, but he has no right to interfere in our relationship. I’m not going to break up with you.”
“Wait—what? Is that what he told you to do? To break up with me? The son of a bitch.”
“I’m so fucking lost. What the hell is going on between you and Crowe? I don’t want you to fight. You’re both important to me.”
“What if you had to choose between us?”
I sagged against the door. “What do you mean, choose?”
“I’m sorry, Bloom. That came out wrong. I don’t want to talk about this, okay? Let’s just drop it.”
“But what do you mean, choose? Do you hate him that much?”
“I don’t hate him,” he gritted out, not making much of a convincing argument. “He just gets under my skin.”
“But Crowe’s nice to everybody.”
“Except me because I’m with you.”
“So why do you not like him?”
“It’s a foolish reason.”
“Logan, talk to me, please.”
He let out a shuddering breath. “Okay, you asked. I hate how close he is to you because I’m jealous of the experiences you’ve shared. It’s completely selfish because I don’t want you to care about anyone else but me. I liked it better when I thought I was the center of your universe—before I met him.”
No sound came out of my parted lips. I needed a minute to process his words. Logan was jealous of Crowe, but why? I didn’t love Crowe. Not romantically. Hadn’t I already told him Crowe and I never had that kind of relationship?
Tingles spread through my chest. I wanted Logan to get along with Crowe, but a part of me liked the possessiveness in his tone. Liked that he didn’t want to share me. He wanted me all to himself. My feelings for him were the same.
“Crowe, Bay, and Winter took care of me when I was younger, Logan,” I said softly. “But I’ve never thought of them as anything but brothers. I’ve never thought about loving anyone else until I met you. Do you want me to cut them out of my life?”
“Good, god, no, I’m sorry if you think that. Bloom, no, they care about you. Isn’t that the reason I suggested we stay at the clubhouse for a while?”
“So what do you want me to do? I don’t want you to doubt me and my feelings for you.”
“Just don’t change the way you act around me when you’re with them.”
I’d never heard Logan sound so uncertain and vulnerable. He was my big, frowny Logan who didn’t resort to violence but could inflict a thousand wounds with his tongue.
“I won’t.” I squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry, Logan. I won’t let you down.”
In fifteen minutes, we arrived at the clubhouse. Several motorcycles belonging to the Blood Hounds and Grimm Reapers were lined up outside, their chrome glistening under the sunlight. My brothers rode up behind us. It had been a while since I’d been here. A sense of homecoming wrapped around me.
“Why are so many people here?” I asked.
“Because of you , Bloom. People care about you.”
Logan parked the car and unbuckled his seat belt. He looked over at me, his gaze softer, the hard edges from before gone.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I was being a jackass.” He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. As if they realized we needed a moment together, the bikers walked into the clubhouse, not waiting for us. “It’s been a long time—actually, make that never —that I’ve been so crazy about someone, and I don’t want to lose you. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure you’re safe, and I need you to understand that, okay?”
“Of course, Logan.”
“He says while already thinking about riding his motorcycle.” Logan sighed.
“How did you know?” I laughed.
“You’re an open book, but no motorcycle for a while. She’s back at my place in the garage anyway.”
“She is?”
“Yeah, you left it there the day of the incident. Remember? You drove with me to the hospital.”
“Now I do.”
“She’ll be there waiting for you until you’re feeling better. The last thing I need is for you to fall off and further aggravate your injuries.”
“Yes, Dr. Collier.”
“Smart mouth.” But he was smiling.
We entered the clubhouse together, and I slipped my hand into his. We followed the loud chatter coming from the rec hall. A banner mounted on the opposite wall read, “Welcome home, dickhead.”
A roar went up, along with beer bottles in salute.
“Really?” Logan asked loudly. “That’s not the banner I asked you to pick out, Bay.”
The tattooed giant grinned, a baby on his hip as he approached with Gerald. “I thought I had creative control. You don’t like it?”
“It’s perfect,” I said.
“Ba-ba!” The baby lunged toward me, but Logan intercepted her, catching her by the arms.
“He’s not supposed to be lifting anything heavy.” He held the baby out like he didn’t know what to do with her while she shrieked with laughter, kicking her legs. “Does someone want to take her?”
“Uh, actually, we’ll be back in a few.”
“Bay, we can’t just leave her with a stranger,” Gerald protested while allowing himself to be dragged off by Bay.
“He’s not a stranger. He’s Bloom’s man, and a doctor. I need to talk to you for a minute.”
“Talk?” I snorted. “Those two are going off to—”
“Bloom, the baby. No swearing.”
“I wasn’t going to. Honest! But you better hold her properly. I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to hold her.”
“I know how to hold a baby.” He looked adorable with the baby against his chest. The way she stared up at him and grabbed his face was kind of sweet.
“Bloom, over here.” Crowe beckoned me to where he sat with Max on his lap. Sarge and Chris were laying out food, pretending they weren’t taking peeks at each other.
I couldn’t decide whether they were already fucking, but I’d bet a kidney they were close to doing it.
Crowe frowned when I didn’t move instantly. My conversation with Logan in the car replayed in my mind. I didn’t want Logan to feel I was abandoning him.
“Go on,” Logan said.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll entertain this baby until those two come back.”
“Then you’ll join us? I’ll save a seat next to me for you.”
“Sure.”
I went up on the tip of my toes and kissed him on the lips, then hurried over to Crowe’s table. Max had disappeared. Crowe definitely wanted to talk to me about something.
“You look almost as good as new.” He took the hem of my shirt and raised it to inspect my bandage. Over his head, Logan glared, his chest rising and falling. My stomach flipped.
He wasn’t kidding about owning me, was he?
I brushed Crowe’s hand away. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what? Look at your scrawny chest? I used to wipe your ass when you were a kid. Don’t forget that.”
I sat upright, drawing my shoulders back. “I know, and I’m grateful for everything you did and continue to do for me, but…I have Logan now.”
Crowe pulled back, drumming his fingers on the table. “What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t need me now?”
“I’m not saying that, but when I do, I’ll let you know. For now, it’s Logan’s turn to be my everything.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Bloom? You’re obsessed with him, and that’s not a good thing.”
“Can we talk about this some other time? It’s my coming home, and I feel you’re intentionally starting shit.”
The drumming on the table ceased. A muscle twitched in Crowe’s jaw. “You start fucking some guy and suddenly think you can talk to me this way?”
“He’s not just some guy, Crowe, and I don’t think you get that.” I doubled my hand into a fist. “He’s to me what Max is to you. You set me straight when I first found out you and Max were an item. Now I’m doing the same. You gotta respect that.”
“I just can’t get over the idea that you’re not ready for a relationship. I feel like he’s taking advantage of you because you don’t fully understand the implications of a relationship.”
“Who says I don’t? And how’s he taking advantage of me? Everything that man does to me, I want to happen. In fact, you two are so alike. Yes, you are!” He shook his head, but I plunged on. “If you care about me, you should want to see me happy, right? Well, I’m telling you that Logan makes me fucking happy, and I don’t do happy. That should tell you everything you need to know.”
Crowe’s gaze traveled to where Logan was smiling at Bay’s kid. They seemed to hit it off. She was covering her eyes, playing peekaboo with him.
“I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now,” Crowe said. “But if he hurts you…”
“He won’t. And if he does, I’ll handle him myself. Are we good?”
He nodded slowly. “We’re good.”
“Great. I’m gonna change into something more my speed. Then I’ll be back. Food looks good. Thank you for planning this. It’s good to see everyone again.”
“Actually, your doctor did.”
“Try calling him by his name.”
“Don’t push it.”
“You’re horrible.” I punched him in the arm and got up. Bay and Gerald were still nowhere to be found. Ben had just walked in, though, with his deceased sister’s husband, Jasper, who had his son in a baby carrier.
“I thought we were going to sit and eat,” Logan said when I approached. “What happened?”
“I need to take a shower and change first.”
“You showered at the hospital before you left.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Doesn’t count. I feel like I still have hospital guck all over me. I’ll be back.”
“Okay. I’ll try to find Gift’s parents, then follow you.”
I slipped away, almost walking into the twins who’d just arrived. Noose nodded, and I returned the gesture. He’d been by the hospital to see me twice, and even though those visits were short, I’d appreciated that he came.
Home sweet home.
I’d been in Smoky Vale for less than a year, but the people and the clubhouse felt so familiar. Maybe it was a good thing Logan insisted I returned to the clubhouse. I had no idea how many people didn’t want me dead.
I wasn’t surprised to find the locks of my bedroom door removed, since Logan had brought over some of his stuff. I opened the door slowly. Logan had done a lot more than bring over some of his stuff; it looked like he’d moved in. Smiling, I closed the door behind me. He’d respected my style and color palette, but the bed was new. So were the sheets and the drapes. I had a new mat too and a pretty cool black wrought-iron chandelier where the plain, sensible light bulb had been. The vanity that housed all my makeup was new, and a landscape painting of a lake at night hung from the wall.
My room smelled like Logan, woodsy and fresh, not at all stale as I would have expected from being away for so long.
The door opened behind me, and Logan entered. “I couldn’t find Bay and Gerald, but Gunner took her. Looks like she’s quite fond of him.”
“Yeah, she is. Logan, what did you do?”
He stilled, his smile falling. “You don’t like it? I should have said something to you first, but I tried to match your taste. Do you want to change anything because I can do that?”
“No, it’s great.” I sat down on the bed, which was so much more comfortable than the one that was there previously. I ran my hand over the sheets. They felt like the ones back at his house—expensive. “You really love me, don’t you?”
He cocked his head to the side. “Of course. Have you been doubting that?”
“A little when you told me I should stay here, but not anymore.”
“Good.” He cupped my cheek and ran the back of his hand down my neck. I swallowed hard. “That’s one thing you must never doubt, Bloom, no matter what happens. My feelings for you. Okay?”
He massaged my Adam’s apple with his thumb. My nipples tingled. He knew what he was doing to me, didn’t he?
“Okay.”
“Good. Now let’s get you into the shower. I’ll help you.”