18
LOGAN
T he last place I would have expected to hear about the Agosti family was in Smoky Vale. And a biker club during Thanksgiving at that. I definitely hadn’t expected to hear the name from Bloom’s lips when I’d done everything to bury those memories in the depths of my mind and protect him from knowing about the people who could rip us apart.
Grimm’s son must be a rare talent. My father only worked with the best lawyers. It was one of the areas in which he never compromised. He didn’t bat an eye to shell out hundreds of thousands to retain the best. Still, Joel was so young. He couldn’t have much experience in the courtroom. Was he that good for my father to have him on his payroll?
My father was in prison, which left either my uncle or my brother in charge. Regardless, they were just a figurehead. Pop still called the shots, even from behind bars. I never followed up with the family after being placed in WITSEC, preferring to leave that part of my life behind.
“Logan?”
Bloom’s voice cut through my torrent of thoughts. He was squirming beneath my hands. I gentled my grip on him, massaging his shoulders in apology. “Sorry.” But I didn’t take my eyes off Joel. Did he recognize me? I would have already left the family years before he started working with the Agostis…still. Was it a coincidence that he was here?
“And this is…?” Joel raised his chin in my direction.
“Dr. Collier,” Jamie said. “I told you about him, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did.”
“Why’re you interested?” Bloom asked, sharp and clear.
Joel shrugged, a charming smile on his lips, but if he worked for the Agostis, he couldn’t be this simple. “Just curiosity. I’m meeting everyone for the first time.”
“Well, he’s my man. As long as you remember that, we’ll be fine.”
“Is he serious?” Joel glanced around him for confirmation.
“Very,” Jamie said. “No one wants Dr. Collier, Bloom, so withdraw your fangs.”
“I’m just saying.” Bloom raised his left hand, wriggling his fingers. “We’re engaged anyway, so he’s off-limits.”
“You’re what?”
“You’re engaged?”
“Oh my god!”
“No fucking way!”
The exclamations came from either side of me, varying in shock and delight. They all crowded around us, looking at Bloom’s engagement ring and squealing. I groaned. Tonight wasn’t going according to plan. This wasn’t how we agreed to tell people we were getting married. We would have dinner first, and then over drinks, we would let the cat out of the bag.
At least the announcement took the focus off the Agosti family. Joel was also observing Bloom’s ring and seemed to have forgotten all about the uncomfortable topic. He didn’t seem to have recognized me at all. Not surprising since my father would have declared me persona non grata. I could only imagine he would have wiped out all traces of the person who was a stain on the family’s reputation. But Joel’s presence bothered me. It was too close to home. It would only be a matter of time before he found out who I was. I would rather not risk it.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married,” Cass said.
“I love the ring,” Fable said quietly. “It looks so you.”
“It really does.” Jamie grinned widely at me, his cheeks flushed at me. “Did you ask Crowe’s permission before putting a ring on him?”
“He sure as hell didn’t!” thundered a voice behind us.
Everyone turned at the same time, the room falling silent. Crowe wore a scowl even deeper than the other times we’d met. Next to him, Max clutched his arm.
“Crowe, don’t cause a scene.”
But Crowe stalked forward. Bloom put his hand behind his back, but Crowe grabbed it and yanked it forward to inspect the ring. I ground my teeth, mentally willing myself to stay composed. The more time I spent around these bikers, the more comfortable I was getting with the notion of violence to solve my problems, and that wasn’t my way. I was a doctor—a healer.
And I didn’t like anyone manhandling the guy I loved.
“Is this an engagement ring?” Crowe asked.
Bloom’s gaze skittered to me, then returned to Crowe. He pulled his hand away. “It is. Logan proposed to me, and I told him he couldn’t take it back, so we’re getting married.”
“What do you mean you said he couldn’t take it back?” one of the boys asked. “Did he want to take it back?”
“No,” I said firmly. “I meant every word then. I’ll mean it when I walk him down the aisle and every day when we spend our lives together.”
“You and me, outside—now!” The biker pointed at me.
“Crowe, no!” Bloom wedged himself between us, but I gently turned him away.
“It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t okay. Electricity crackled, and every person seemed to hold their breath as they looked at Crowe and me, the tension hanging between us like a heavy curtain.
“Crowe, if you hurt him—”
“Bloom, I can take care of myself.”
“What’s going on?” Grimm took one look at Crowe and me and groaned. “Not this fucking mess again.”
“Logan asked Bloom to marry him,” Cass said. “Now I think Crowe wants to break his face.”
“Take it the fuck outside, then,” Grimm said, his voice booming. “I’m not having anyone ruin Jamie’s hard work. The rest of us can sit while the cavemen work out their issues.”
The others drifted back to their areas, chattering in hushed tones. Crowe, Bloom, Max, and I remained standing.
“Are you coming outside or what?” Crowe said.
“All right, then. Let’s talk. Bloom, save me a seat, and I’ll be right back.”
For a second, he looked as though he wanted to argue, but he clenched his jaw and trailed his fingers along my forearm, then released his hold on me.
I followed Crowe out of the clubhouse. The door remained open wide enough to hear the chattering inside. The night air was cool, but not cold enough to be uncomfortable. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans while Crowe paced back and forth across the wooden planks of the porch.
“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘congratulations.’” I couldn’t keep the snark out of my tone if I’d cared to try.
Crowe spun around, his jaw taut. “You shouldn’t have proposed to him.”
I crossed my arms. “Why not?”
“It’s too soon. He’s too young, and how the hell are you supposed to marry him? He doesn’t even have any documents.”
“We’re working on it.”
“We?”
“Yes, I asked Grimm to find a guy for me.”
He blinked as though I caught him by surprise. “You did?”
“Yes, what did you think? I was leading on Bloom? What I said inside? I meant every word, and I am going to marry him with or without your blessing.” I softened my tone. “But I’d rather have your blessing. I know how much Bloom values you and the rest of his brothers.”
“And if I don’t give it, do you still think he’ll fucking marry you?”
“Yes, without a doubt. I know you’re used to Bloom following you around and doing your bidding, but he’s not a puppy to pull on a leash. He can make his own decisions.”
“I don’t trust his decision-making skills, and I can’t help but think you’re taking advantage of that. Why do you want to marry Bloom anyway? You’ve barely been together!”
“Why do two people marry?”
“Ah, fuck no, I need you to do better than that. Why the hell are you marrying him?”
I dropped my arms and leaned on the support column, gazing into the night. “Because he completes me.” I laughed softly. “Do you remember how much I pushed him away when he started courting me? Over and over again. But he refused to give up, even when my rejection hurt him. I want to make up for all those times. I want to spend the rest of my life showing him that I care about him more than you, he, or anyone else could possibly understand. Everyone thinks his feelings for me are too big, too extreme, but no one knows how much I’d do for that boy to make him happy. God, I fucking love him.”
It was one thing knowing how I felt about Bloom and another to talk about it. My feelings suddenly felt even more real, uncontainable, as if they would burst out of me. And with it, a tangible fear of losing that one person I cared about more than anyone else in the world.
“Fuck you. I’m his brother, so you could have mentioned it to me first instead of letting me find out this way.”
I could respect that. “I hadn’t planned it. Then there was the incident at the clubhouse when I found out he’d gotten hurt. I wasn’t in the mood to explain myself to anyone then. You all pissed me off.”
“Gunner and I had a fight about that. Just so you know, I didn’t sanction that whole thing. I would never have sent him to do something so reckless when he was recuperating.”
Deep down, I’d known that. Crowe was such a pain in the ass when it came to Bloom only because he cared. “That’s good to know. If something should happen to me…I know you’ll take care of him, not let him do reckless things to risk his life.”
“Don’t think that’s something I can stop. It’s Bloom. He thrives on the adrenaline and the danger. Do you think he’ll be comfortable living a peaceful life somewhere like a normal person? You can try, but I’m gonna tell you right now, it ain’t gonna make him happy. He’s not the picket fence and two-point-five kids kind. He’s the guy riding down the freeway going way too fast without a helmet. He’s the guy ready to pull a knife if someone offends the people he cares about.”
He was wrong. He had to be wrong. I needed him to be wrong.
“Crowe.” I slowly turned to him. Shit, his face was so pale. He was really worried about Bloom, looked panicked even. “I am grateful for everything you did for Bloom, for raising him into the person he is today. It couldn’t have been easy taking in such a peculiar boy. And for that, I can forgive you for anything that doesn’t stand in the way of us being together. But it’s time for you to let go. You can’t keep him caged in, or he’s no better than being kept confined like a dog the way his parents did him. Every time we clash like this, it’s tearing him apart, and I’d rather have you on my side when he gets out of hand.”
Crowe’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. His laugh was low and sounded pained. “He’s a handful, ain’t he?”
“That he can be. But I also see how sweet and needy he is. He needs to be loved and told he’s beautiful, and that’s what I want to do for him for the rest of his life.”
Crowe puffed out a breath, raking his fingers through his hair. “I just want the best for him. I worry he’ll make mistakes he’ll regret. People think he’s cruel and heartless, but the truth is…”
“He feels more than most.”
“Exactly.” Crowe dug into the back of his pants and took out a booklet, small enough to fit into the palm of his hands. “Look, I believe you’ll be decent to him. For one, if you ever hurt him, we’ll string you up and make you wish you never met him. But I see the way you take care of him and even spoil him. The little shit’s actually happy, which I guess is what I want. Here.”
I took the booklet he offered me. “What is this?”
“Since you confronted me about not giving Bloom a name, I figured I owed him, so the times I’ve gone back to Riverton, it was to collect information.”
“About Bloom?” I skipped the sheets, but only the first pages were filled in.
“Yeah. It’s not much, but I talked to a few people who were around at the time he would have been born. Got his mother’s and father’s real names, their birth dates, but I couldn’t find anything about either of their families. Bloom’s birthday isn’t exactly concrete. It’s a guess, and it’s about fifty percent accurate, but it’s something.”
“When?”
“Either the eleventh or the twelfth of February. I couldn’t get it narrowed down more than that. You choose, or he can.”
“That’s fine. We can celebrate both days. If anyone deserves it, he does.”
Crowe nodded. “You’ll be good for him,” he said, but it sounded more like a reassurance to himself. “Don’t let me regret accepting you into our brotherhood. You’re now one of us, so we’ll protect you, but if you betray us, you’ll regret it.”
Wow. I stared at him wordlessly. In my mind, I was marrying just Bloom, but in reality, I was also inheriting a whole biker gang. Exchanging one crime family for another. How laughable and sanctimonious I’d been in the past.
He turned to go back in.
“Crowe.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to use his parents’ last name on his birth certificate. Do you mind if I use yours?”
He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. After a few seconds, he nodded, then entered the clubhouse. “Don’t you know not to eavesdrop?” he said as Bloom walked outside. He stuck his tongue out at Crowe’s back. He could be so childish at times.
He was so young. According to the birthdate Crowe had given me, Bloom was only nineteen. It was easier to pretend he was older when we didn’t know his birthdate. He was less than half my age.
“You didn’t kill each other.” He raised his arms and wrapped them around my neck. I spanned his waist with my hands, pulling him closer.
“We talked. About you.”
“I know.”
“How much did you hear?”
“Almost everything. We’re really going to celebrate my birthday twice? I don’t mind if you choose a date.”
“We’ll need to add one to your ID and birth certificate, but yeah, we’ll celebrate on both days so we never miss the right day.”
“I like that. I also like that you’re giving me Crowe’s last name before I take yours. This way I’ll have a piece of you both.” He jerked his head back. “I mean—”
“It’s okay, Bloom.” I grinned. “Besides, why do you think I’m giving you his name? On paper, it’ll be recorded that you’re related.”
“So what? The twins are related but still fucking.”
“But they’re an anomaly.”
“Anomaly. What’s that?”
“Different from the norm.”
“Oh. Should we go back inside now? Grimm’s waiting to carve the turkey.”
“Just a minute.” I squeezed him against me a little. “Are you sure you want to marry me?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Bloom—”
“Hmm?” He bit his bottom lip, playing with the hair at my nape.
“There are things about me you don’t know,” I said softly. “Some things I wish you never have to know. Is that okay with you?”
He went silent.
“Bloom.”
“Is it somebody else? A family somewhere that I’m going to have to fight for you?”
“No.” Technically not the kind of family he was talking about.
“Then I don’t care as long as I’ve got you. We all got secrets and a past. Mine’s as black as coal, and you still love me. Don’t you?”
“I do.” I dropped a kiss on his lips. “All right, then, let’s go in.”
But despite his reassurance that he didn’t care about my past, his earlier words echoed in my head.
Their own son betrayed them. Who fucking does that? You don’t betray your brotherhood. Ever. Those who do deserve worse than death.
Would he still love me if he found out I’d betrayed my family?