20
BLOOM
T he drive home was tense. Too tense. Logan’s grip on the steering wheel was tight, and his posture rigid. The car wove its way along the quiet street, the light from the headlamps casting long, stretched-out shadows that danced around us.
I fiddled with my ring. What had he and Joel talked about? Did he think the other guy was an upgrade? And why the hell not? He was good looking and obviously smart. He seemed to have his shit together. Everyone liked him. Jamie had told us so many stories about him that I felt I knew him personally. Stories that made the other boys laugh.
“The boys want to throw me a bachelor party,” I said, trying to sound cheery and not let my anxiety creep into my voice. “What do you think?”
“Sure.”
Just sure? That was all he had to say? His tone was monotonous, and his simple reply did nothing to ease my anxiety.
“I heard the one they had for Cass was wild. They ended up getting arrested, and their Daddies had to bail them out.”
“Mm,” Logan grunted noncommittally, his eyes never leaving the road.
I bit my lower lip, spinning the ring more forcefully on my finger. Why wasn’t he talking to me? Had I done something wrong? I’d been so good for the past couple of days. Crowe had also agreed to our marriage. Shouldn’t Logan be happy?
The silence stretched out, each passing second more suffocating than the last. I fought against the urge to grab the steering wheel, to get him to stop the car and talk to me. To tell me again that he didn’t want Joel. To swear on his life that he would want no one else but me.
Soon we were turning into our driveway, and the automatic lights flooded the perimeter of the house. Logan parked inside the garage, the beam of the headlamps falling on my motorcycle. I hadn’t ridden it in what felt like forever, yet the shiny chrome and leather didn’t seem to have a speck of dust. Logan had taken care of it for me just like he’d said he would.
He loves me.
“Logan.”
“Let’s get inside.”
He still opened doors for me. That was a good sign, right? I couldn’t bear it anymore. My stomach was tied up in knots. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind, desperate to provide the only thing I had to offer.
“Logan, let’s have sex.” As soon as we were inside and he shut the door, I dropped my hand to the waistband of his pants. If I reminded him how good it was between us, he would stop thinking about Joel. He would see that I was better.
His body went still. “Not now, Bloom. I need a drink. Can you go up without me?”
I let my arms fall to my sides. “Without you?”
He cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead. “It’s okay. I’ll be up in a minute, I promise. I didn’t drink nearly enough at the clubhouse because I had to drive us home.”
His eyes had softened, but he didn’t say anything else, just walked toward the kitchen. I watched him with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
You’re overreacting. Don’t let your irrational fears in. You know he loves you.
And I did, but I couldn’t get how close he and Joel had been standing to each other out of my mind. I climbed the stairs, one heavy step at a time, glancing back repeatedly to see if he would realize I was barely holding on and come after me.
He didn’t.
In the bedroom, I stripped off my clothes and stood in front of the mirror. I still looked the same, didn’t I? Had I put on weight? I poked my belly. Was the skin looser there? With my back turned, I examined my reflection. Although covered in tattoos, the scars from my past still marred my skin, raised flesh from cigarette burns and beatings. I traced a scar that ran along the side of my rib. Logan never seemed to notice them. Or did they secretly repulse him? Maybe I was too skinny. I could make out the bumps of my spine, the jut of my hip bones. I grabbed my ass cheeks and spread them. Maybe I wasn’t as tight as before and he wanted someone fresh. We fucked a lot. It was easier for him to get his cock inside me now. Was Saint right, and I did it too often? Was he bored with me?
I scratched my skin, the rawness of my insecurities eating away at me. I ran my hands over my body, trying to find something—anything—that might be turning him away. Maybe it was deeper than that?
Maybe I was simply unlovable. I always knew that. Maybe now he did too.
I dug through the drawers and selected the black, lacy negligee set Logan had bought the same day we’d picked out my engagement ring. It was small and revealing—the sort of thing that usually put him in the mood. I just wanted him to want me again.
Slipping them on, I examined myself in the mirror again. I was the same Bloom he couldn’t keep his hands off, right? I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. I needed to dye my hair again. Or maybe I should grow it back out and he’d be happier with a newer look.
The silence in the house was nerve-racking. I slowly made my way down the stairs, my confidence growing as scenes flicked through my mind of all the times Logan and I had had sex. He wanted me. I knew he did. It’d just been days since we had sex because of my stupid injury. Everything would be all right once he remembered how good he felt when he was inside me.
As I neared the bottom of the stairs, the murmur of hushed conversation reached my ears. Was someone else here? I walked faster. Logan’s voice became clearer and his words more distinct.
“I’m not leaving without him,” he said. A peek inside the kitchen revealed him standing at the island with his back to me. He was on his phone. “We’re getting married soon. I need a few days…. Yes, I’m sure. No, I haven’t told him yet, but he’ll agree…. Okay, I’ll need some time. Give me an hour, two hours tops, and I’ll meet you there.”
A chill ran down my spine. Was he talking to Joel? The room spun as bile surged up in my throat. So this was what he’d meant by needing to take a drink?
I entered the kitchen. Logan spun around, lowering his phone from his ear and tapping the screen. He widened his eyes.
“Bloom…” He cleared his throat. “You look…beautiful.”
“You really think so?” Why did my voice sound so breathless? My chest hurt so badly I could hardly breathe.
Maybe I’d misunderstood his conversation. The way his eyes ran over me with such heat, surely there couldn’t be anyone else on his mind.
“Yes.” He traced a finger along my jawline. With his other hand, he tugged on the lace. “And in this…forget what I said earlier. Seeing you like this made me instantly hard.”
Was he being serious? I reached between his legs to cup his cock, and let out a shuddering breath of relief. He was hard for me.
“Logan.” With a cry, I threw my arms around his neck and raised my head. He lowered his mouth to mine, our lips crashing together in a kiss so urgent and desperate my doubts seeped away. He tightened his arms around me, pulling me closer against him until every line of his body pressed against mine.
“So beautiful,” he mumbled against my lips. He ran his hands beneath the lace material, caressing my skin until goose bumps erupted.
“You don’t mind my scars? You don’t think they’re disgusting?”
“Why would I mind them? They’re a part of you. Everything about you is beautiful, even the impulsive, reckless, dangerous bits.”
He sounded so sincere. How could I not believe him? Logan lifted me and placed me on the counter. His lips found a new path along my collarbone while his hands worked their way up my thighs. The way he kissed me—touched me—made me feel beautiful again.
I let out a gasp as he found the lacy edge of my underwear, slipping his fingers beneath. He cupped my cock and stroked me until I was whimpering. A hot trail of kisses down my neck left me moaning and thrusting my hips. He nipped at my skin, tiny love bites that would leave evidence that would reassure me after when the doubts intruded again.
“Logan…you really want me?”
“Do you have to ask, baby? Can’t you feel how much I want you? I’m trying to restrain myself from just shoving my cock inside you.”
“Do it.”
“Bloom—”
“Please, Logan. I just need to know how you feel about me—that you want me.”
“I don’t just want you, Bloom. I need you. Let me show you, baby. On your knees.”
I shuffled around to perch on my knees, just like he wanted. A smack landed on my right cheek. Logan grabbed both in his hands and spread me open. “No matter how many times I’ve had you, I keep wanting you more. Is that what you want to hear, baby?”
“Yes.” Exactly what I needed to know—that he would never get tired of me. Never need to seek someone else.
Logan kissed my nape and slowly made his way down my spine, his lips leaving scorching skin in their wake. He didn’t stop. He continued until his lips were right where I loved them the most. Right over my entrance, kissing and tonguing my hole.
A jolt of desire shot through me. I clenched and unclenched my hands, planting my palms firmly on the ceramic tiles.
“Hmm. Push out for me, baby.”
I pushed, opening my hole for him. Two fingers coated in saliva slid in alongside his tongue. A gasp shattered my self-control, my muscles convulsing around the pleasure only Logan could give me. His hands on my hips steadied me, guiding me into a rhythm that matched his probing tongue and fingers. Fingers that curled inside me, brushing against the inner wall and sending an electric shock straight to my throbbing cock.
“Oh, Logan…” I choked out. The pleasure slipping through his fingertips and onto my overly sensitive skin was suddenly too much—and at the same time not enough.
“God, Bloom.” He smacked my ass twice and bit the right cheek. “Sometimes I think you were made to be fucked by me. Do you hate me for reducing you to that?”
“No.” I reached behind me and shoved his face back to my ass. “I’m satisfied being that for you. You know how much I love the way you fuck me. Oh, sweet Satan, just like that. Love the way you lick my hole. Please don’t stop. I need—”
I shook my ass in his face and almost shocked myself that I could. It seemed to drive Logan crazy. He raised, then released my cheeks to jiggle in his face, so I did it again and again while his tongue was buried deep inside me. I was leaking precum all over his counter, each throb of my cock bringing me closer to the edge.
His fingers glided along my inner walls with a sense of purpose, hitting spots that made me whine that it was too much, then beg him not to stop. I couldn’t figure out what exactly I needed, just that I needed so much, and it was all so confusing. He played my body like it was his own to do with as he pleased, and I’d never felt more wanted…more desired.
“So needy,” he said, fumbling with his clothes. When his pants were on the floor, he grabbed my hips and lowered me to kneel on the stool around the island with my front facing the back of the stool. The padding of the seat provided a cushion against my knees the way the counter didn’t.
After the last time we’d had sex like this in the kitchen, Logan had placed a bottle of lube in one of the cupboards. He quickly retrieved it, flipped open the cap, and squeezed a generous amount into his palm. I watched him over my shoulder as he spread the gel over his erection, then along my entrance.
“Kiss me,” I begged.
The kiss was awkward. We were both at the wrong angle, but when his hand rested on my neck, I almost came. Logan’s tongue twisted with mine as he pressed his cock against my entrance and thrust inside me in one slow but firm thrust.
Oh, sweet Satan, I’d missed this. Missed the rhythm of his body moving inside me, grinding against that sweet spot again and again, each thrust harder than the last.
“My god, Bloom.” His fingers bit into my hips, every stroke sending fresh waves coursing through me.
“Logan,” I gasped. “Do you like that? Is it still good for you?”
“So fucking good, sweetheart. Do you know how much I have to fight coming inside you early because I want you to come first?”
“Then you don’t mind I’m not that tight anymore?”
“Baby, every time I fuck you, it gets better. Hang on, baby. I’ll show you what your body does to me.”
Logan seemed to let go, his jabs hard against my ass, his pelvis grinding into me. I instinctively moved with him, meeting the rhythm of his ferocious thrusts. I gripped the back of the chair for support, unable to contain my cries as he pumped inside me.
“Logan. Logan, yes, oh fuck me, Logan. Pleasepleaseplease.”
“The things you do to me…” he whispered huskily in my ear, delivering soft nibbles down my neck that sent shivers down my spine.
“Logan…I’m…” The words stuck in my throat as my throbbing cock pulsed, my whole body tightening as I came.
The intense spasm of muscles and heated release left me panting and whining gently as Logan fucked me through my climax. Not long after, he stiffened behind me—his movements getting frenzied—a sharp intake of breath before burying himself deep inside me one last time. He pulsated as he came with a loud groan.
We remained entwined until our breathing slowed and our heart rates returned to normal; he pulled out gently, but my body still shuddered once more. Wrapping an arm around me, Logan cradled me against his chest while he brushed damp strands of hair from my face.
“You are absolutely incredible,” he said softly and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “Never doubt what you do to me or what you mean to me. Bloom, I love you so damn much.”