Chapter 9
NINE
He should have known. A cheetah didn’t change its spots. He should have protected his feelings from Jake from the start. That way, the attention-seeking bastard wouldn’t have gotten under his skin so much.
Rafe stomped over to the side of the hot shop where the pieces of glass he and Jake had made rested and opened the window so he could breathe. He couldn’t walk away from his class filled with teenagers entirely, but he damn well needed a break from Jake’s massive ego.
He didn’t even get that, though.
“You okay?” Jake asked, approaching him once all his students were busy in various phases of pulling cane.
Rafe turned to fix Jake with a stare that said of course he wasn’t okay.
“You’re mad at me,” Jake said as if Rafe had made his answer verbally, his shoulders drooping. They snapped taut a moment later as Jake inched closer to him. “I know I’ve messed up,” he said in a quick whisper, “but they all seem to know what they’re doing. Pulling cane is fun and easy. You have to let them give it a go.”
“Are you telling me how to teach my class now?” Rafe demanded, swaying closer to him.
Damn Jake to hell, but even when he was beyond annoyed with the man he felt drawn to him. It was unfair how appealing the man was covered in a sheen of sweat, his face pink from working with glass straight out of the furnace.
“I’m sorry,” Jake said. He glanced back over his shoulder at the kids, then looked at Rafe again. “I have actually taught classes like this before.”
“Have you?” Rafe asked tightly. “Or is that just another one of your lies?”
He felt bad as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but the question had to be asked.
“I really have taught classes,” Jake said with enough seriousness in his eyes to convince Rafe he was telling the truth. “It’s been a while, and I’ll confess, I wasn’t very good at it. I don’t have the kind of patience you do. But I have done this before. Trust me.”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than there was a loud crash of glass breaking from where the kids were working.
“Uh oh. Mr. Hawthorne!” Amy called out.
Rafe sent Jake one last look, knowing the conversation was far from over, before striding over to address the long column of shattered cane across the floor.
“I didn’t try to break it,” John said, watching in panic as Rafe came over to see the mess. “Everything was going so well and then it just shattered.”
Jake wandered over as well, but now that there was a problem, everyone, including Jake, looked to Rafe to know what to do.
“This is why I want you all to master basic cane pulling before you move on to creating twisted cane,” he said, glancing at Jake, who was the one who really needed the lesson. “You need to master straight pulling before trying the twist.”
“You’re right, Mr. Hawthorne,” Jake said looking suitably penitent.
Rafe couldn’t tell if he was making fun of him or not. The students looked sorry enough, and that was all that mattered.
“Let’s clean this up and then we’ll take a few steps back and work on regular old non-twisty cane pulling,” he said. “If I see you’ve mastered that, you can move on to twists.”
The rest of the morning was spent cleaning up glass, basic cane pulling, and getting everything back on track. Perhaps wisely, Jake took a step back from the class, watching instead of getting involved. Once the class ended, he quietly jumped in to help Rafe tidy everything up.
The sting of being outshone with his own students stuck with Rafe, though. It was too much like Corning, too much like his entire career of almost being the best but falling just short. The more sensible part of him shouted at him to be careful and not let his burning attraction to Jake overrule common sense. Jake was a liar who had admitted outright that he was using him to get what he wanted.
There was so much more to their relationship than that, and Rafe knew it. Not to mention the fact that he was willing to go along with Jake’s scheme to get what he wanted and needed for his own reasons. It all added an extra level of angst to the situation.
“I’m going up to the house for lunch,” he told Jake once the class was over, the students were gone, and things were set to right in the hot shop. “You can stay here and work if you want, but make sure the furnace and everything else is safe before you leave.”
He turned to go, breathing in the relatively cool air outside as soon as he was out of the shop. He needed to get away from Jake for just a little while to settle his thoughts. He needed to breathe on his own and maybe even take a nap so that he could tackle the seething resentment that he wanted to let go of but couldn’t.
“Rafe! Rafe!”
Jake lunged out of the hot shop a few steps behind Rafe, leaving the door wide open.
Rafe turned and planted his hands on his waist, staring at Jake with narrowed eyes. “What?” he asked flatly. “Are you going to try to convince me you should be the one teaching glassblowing classes now? Do you want to show me how you can pull cane while doing a cartwheel and reciting the complete works of Shakespeare? Did you find a shiny rock you want to show me?”
Jake’s shoulders dropped, but he had the good sense to look sorry. “Yeah, I deserved that,” he said. “I screwed up, I know.”
Rafe blinked and crossed his arms. He didn’t want to let his hurt feelings fester, but they were just so strong. “Do you? Do you know what you just did in there?”
“I wanted the kids to like me,” Jake said, like he was doing something revolutionary by listing his faults. “It’s a compulsion.”
“It was Corning all over again,” Rafe said, taking a step closer to him.
“It’s really hard to stop myself,” Jake fired back at him, standing straighter and meeting Rafe’s confrontational energy. “It’s chemical, like an addiction. I can’t control it.”
Rafe shook his head. “No. You don’t get to use mental illness as a reason to behave like an arse.”
“It’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation,” Jake argued.
“Are you seeing someone about it?” Rafe asked. “Are you on medication? Are you in any way trying to grapple with these compulsions?”
Jake blew out a breath through his nose and stared at Rafe like he was a hard nut to crack. “I can’t do any of that until I have an NHS number, and I can’t get an NHS number until I’m a legal resident of the UK. And that’s not going to happen until I’m officially your fiancé or husband.”
Rafe pressed his lips shut, writhing internally as he followed the train of Jake’s logic. It made sense, though he hadn’t personally investigated what resources might be available to Jake before his immigration status was settled. Still, it was no excuse for him being a jerk. Again.
“I have a set curriculum for my classes,” he said, fighting not to fly off the handle. “The kids need to learn the basics of pulling cane before they elaborate on it, just like they need to learn the correct way to handle a blowpipe before they can blow anything. And do not make a joke about that now,” he added when Jake’s mouth twitched and his eyes sparkled.
He hated the way Jake’s mirth immediately cooled his anger and made him want to laugh. The effect Jake had on him wasn’t fair.
“But it’s low-hanging fruit, man,” Jake said, unable to keep his smile inside. “We all had to learn to blow before we?—”
“I don’t think you’re taking this seriously,” Rafe said, torn between wanting to let it all go and being genuinely offended that Jake was so far up his own arse that he couldn’t see how wrong he’d been. “If you won’t take something as simple as my class syllabus, which I put a lot of thought into, seriously, then how can I expect you to take the entire process of applying for a visa seriously?”
To his credit, Jake’s face fell. “I am taking it seriously.”
“Are you?” Rafe shook his head. He’d wanted this to work. He couldn’t fight his natural feelings for Jake, as much of an arse as he could be. Jake was a ray of sunshine and a contrast to the assumptions he’d always made about how one should behave in order to succeed in life. He was the most talented glass artist that he knew personally, and working together for the last few weeks had elevated his own craft more than weeks in Corning had.
But it was too much of a headache. Jake couldn’t be trusted, and if he couldn’t trust his partner, he would never feel stable enough to truly develop, as a person or as an artist.
“Jake,” he began, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his face.
“I’m sorry,” Jake interjected before he could say anything more. “I know I have problems. The fact that I haven’t hidden any of them from you is my way of trying to show you that I’m working on them.”
Rafe blew out a breath, his shoulders sagging.
“Please, Rafe,” Jake went on, stepping close enough to rest his hand on the side of Rafe’s neck. “I know it might not look like it, but I’m trying really hard here. I swear to you, I’m not trying to be manipulative and I know I’m a pain. I feel safer with you than I’ve felt with anyone in years. And I’m even starting to like your family.”
Rafe’s mouth twitched into a smile despite his lingering irritation.
“I don’t want to be like this anymore,” Jake continued. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but for the first time in my life, I feel safe and settled enough here, in England and at Hawthorne House, that it gives me hope that I can be a better man. You make me feel like I could be a better man.”
Rafe rolled his eyes, but his heart seemed to blossom and warmth filled his insides. “If that’s not the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is,” he said, sliding an arm around Jake’s side and pulling him closer.
“I’m good at cheese,” Jake said, shrugging one shoulder.
Rafe grinned. He couldn’t help himself. In so many ways, he couldn’t help himself when he was around Jake. Jake was a walking disaster and would probably be the end of him in so many ways, but he also needed Rafe’s help. Rafe wasn’t willing to write the man off just because he fell into compulsive behaviors. There was help available for that, and Rafe would do what he could so Jake could get that help.
“Alright,” he said, acting impulsively himself and leaning in to give Jake a quick kiss. “I forgive you for now. But try not to mess with the curriculum of my glassblowing classes going forward.”
“Absolutely,” Jake said as the two of them turned to head back to the hot shop. “And now, maybe I can give you a special little something-something as thanks for you being so patient with me.”
The good, sensible part of Rafe immediately warned him that it would be beyond wrong to take Jake up on that offer. Jake was probably trying to manipulate him and their first time together should not happen because of some sense of putting Jake in his place that whispered to him from the darker part of his soul.
They stopped just inside the hot shop’s door.
“I can see you want to,” Jake said, lowering his voice and sliding an arm around Rafe’s waist so he could pull the two of them flush. “I want you, Rafe. That should have been more than just a slap-and-tickle in the closet the other day. It should have been this.”
He leaned in to kiss Rafe’s neck, brushing his tongue over Rafe’s hammering pulse.
It was ridiculous and borderline shameful that he was even thinking of getting horizontal in the middle of the day after what basically amounted to an argument with his fake fiancé.
Then again, make-up sex was some of the best sex.
He made a split-second decision that he was certain part of him would regret later. The rest of him was already raring to go.
“Meet me at my flat in fifteen minutes,” he growled, circling a hand around Jake’s hip to grab his arse. “I want you clean and ready to be fucked into the mattress.”
“God, yes,” Jake said, breathless and tense, his eyes smoldering with need.
“Go,” Rafe ordered him.
Jake stole a quick kiss, then peeled away to rush up to the house ahead of him.
They were being silly. Both of them had loads of work to get done, things were completely unresolved between them, and as Rafe checked the hot shop to make sure it was tucked away and safe, then started up to the house, he remembered he had a date with Steve later. But that didn’t stop him from rushing up to his flat, jumping quickly in the shower, then making sure he had lube and everything else he would need to take out his frustrations with Jake on the man’s arse.
Everything was set up and he was debating calling Jake with some sort of sexy order for him to get his arse upstairs immediately when there was a knock at the door. With a smile, Rafe went to answer it dressed only in a robe.
“Hurry,” Jake said, darting into his flat wearing nothing but a fluffy robe and a smile. “I’m naked under here, and I was terrified that I’d run into someone in the hall and they’d asked where I was going and what I was doing.”
Rafe shut and locked the door, then made his way seductively over to Jake. “What a coincidence,” he said, reaching for the tie of Jake’s robe. “I’m naked under here as well.”
“You look hot,” Jake said, raking Rafe with a hungry look.
“And you smell good,” Rafe said, dragging him close and sniffing his neck.
“Only the best for you, babe,” Jake laughed and threw himself into Rafe’s arms.
He grabbed Rafe’s robe like he would tear it off to see what Rafe had to play with underneath. Rafe loved his enthusiasm. He loved the sense of coiled tension that had been there between them all along, but would finally have a chance to unravel in spectacular fashion. He kissed Jake as fervently as Jake kissed him, backing him into the bedroom, then shutting that door behind him as well.
“I’ve wanted you since the moment you picked me up at Heathrow,” Jake said breathlessly, leaning back enough to tug at the ties of Rafe’s robe to open it, exposing Rafe’s broad chest and his swiftly growing erection. “Why did we wait so long?”
Rafe was about to answer when Jake dropped to his knees and shrugged out of his robe. He spread his knees wide so that Rafe could see everything and looked cheekily up at him as he grabbed his own cock and fisted it.
“I’m going to be so good to you, baby,” he said, making a show of getting himself hard. “You won’t regret marrying me for a second.”
Rafe was sure that wasn’t the case, but he wasn’t about to say that. Not when Jake looked so incredibly sexy on his knees like that.
It was even better when Jake let go of his cock and shifted to push Rafe’s robe open all the way. He stroked his hands up Rafe’s legs, and in a dazzling repeat of what they’d done in the closet, he kissed his way over and around Rafe’s balls, then ran his warm, wet tongue up the underside of Rafe’s cock.
“I might be terrible at reining it in and shutting up when I feel anxious,” Jake said, grasping the bottom of Rafe’s cock with one hand and pushing his robe open farther with the other so he could hold Rafe’s hip, “but I’m ace at sucking cock.”
Rafe started to laugh, but the sound quickly turned into a moan as Jake proved his words. He closed his mouth over the head of Rafe’s cock, sucking and licking as he pushed back his foreskin with his lips. He absolutely was excellent at what he was doing. So much that Rafe’s knees went weak.
He gripped Jake’s head, digging his fingers into his hair as the way Jake teased his tip shifted to bobbing deeper and deeper with agonizing slowness to take as much of him in as possible. Rafe was amazed at how deep Jake could swallow him and caught his breath when Jake choked a little, his throat squeezing. It was glorious and hot, and he couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of satisfaction that after all the trouble Jake had caused him, he was making up for it now.
It was so good that Rafe couldn’t help but push things to make a point. He grasped Jake’s head tighter, and instead of letting Jake take the lead, he pushed in, fucking his mouth in a way that took control. He knew he was being borderline too harsh, but the way Jake moaned and gave himself over to it had Rafe growling with pleasure.
“That’s right, love,” Rafe panted. “You said you wanted to make amends for your behavior? This is amends.”
Jake sputtered and gagged, but the fire in his eyes as he looked up at Rafe was all Rafe needed to know he was definitely into what they were doing. In fact, he was a little too convincing. If he wasn’t careful, the whole thing would be over long before he was ready.