Bonds Eternal (Fae Hearted #4)

18. Going to Temple

18

GOING TO TEMPLE

WYNSTELLE

E ldrin rides over to where Merlara and I are preparing our horse.

“Wyn, would you mind riding with me to the Temple?” Eldrin asks, sounding more vulnerable than I’ve ever heard from him before.

I don’t know if I have completely forgiven him for his participation in the loss of Jaden and Oakes. Though perhaps the wretched ache in my heart might be soothed by the presence of one of my mates.

Then I remember that he’s known them his whole life. He is probably hurting more than I realize. “Of course.” I smile, softening.

After he lifts me up in front of him on the saddle, his warm arms encircle my waist. We are quiet during the short ride to the portal, and I sense he has as much on his mind as I do.

When we reach the newly created door to the fae realm, I’m pleased to see there aren’t any Elven soldier replacements since we sent the ghouls through.

I bite my lip to silence myself, not wanting to jinx anything by saying that we finally have a stroke of good fortune.

Baelen does the honors of opening the gateway with a murmured chant and a swipe of her hand. When the vortex swirls open, I sigh with relief that no one is waiting to attack from the other side.

But I’m still anxious as we approach.

As we near the threshold, I grip Eldrin’s arm, hoping to make him stop our horse. I look back over my shoulder to the mortal realm, wondering where Oakes and Jaden are, and if they are alright. If they managed to escape, will they know to follow us to Elfhame? I have to believe they will. However, the likelihood of them escaping is minuscule.

“Wynstelle?” Eldrin asks, “Do you sense something? Should we stop?”

“I didn’t sense anything.” I shake my head and my eyes sting with emotion. “I’m just worried about them. I was wondering where they are—what has happened to them.”

“I’m worried too.” He waves at the rest of the human soldiers to hurry through the portal, and after they pass, he closes off the fae realm from further mortal access.

The faerie, Lalo, must have been waiting nearby. Within moments, she flies up to the prince and me as soon as the doorway closes. She does a midair curtsy and asks, “Is there anything I can do to help, Your Highness?”

Eldrin inclines his head in respect, acknowledging the tiny faerie. “Would you and your people be willing to watch over the portal? Perhaps you can get word to me if there’s another invasion, keeping me apprised of who comes and goes?”

“Of course!” Lalo nods animatedly. “We can do that.”

“Good. If you need me, I will be at the Mage Temple tonight.” Prince Eldrin takes a deep breath and says with sincerity, “I promise you and your kind better treatment in the future under my rule.”

At the implications of his deadly promise, a shiver passes through me, and Lalo’s eyes widen with understanding.

“We will do what we can to help you, Your Highness.” Lalo flutters off in a rush toward the thick tree line.

As we travel toward the Elven mage temple, I sit stiffly in front of Eldrin on the saddle, thinking about all the things that have gone wrong in my time with him.

“Wyn?” he calls to me softly. “Would you rather not be near me?”

“Why would you say that?” I deflect.

“Because your body refuses to make contact with mine.” Eldrin groans as if he was being tortured. “I can feel you shutting me out through our bond.”

“Like you have done with me?” I ask, with a cutting edge to my voice.

Eldrin tenses and doesn’t say anything immediately. “I suppose I did.”

“How am I supposed to feel right now?” I ask. “So much has happened in the last couple of days. Stars! The last couple of hours have been heart-wrenching. I’m sorry if it perturbs you. I’m not in the mood to snuggle and act however you expect me to act.”

“I don’t expect you to act any particular way,” Eldrin says. His voice is softer than I anticipated after a challenge like that. “But I wanted to talk to you and be near you… to ease our pain.”

“I don’t think my pain will be eased until I have Oakes and Jaden back with us—where they belong.”

He leans his cheek on top of my head in a loving gesture and sighs quietly. “You’re absolutely correct. They belong with us. Here and now. But I also think you belong with me, too. Or does the bond between us now mean nothing because I allowed them to go in your stead?”

“What?” I flinch at the accusation, feeling his fear of rejection clearly through our bond. “Stars, no. Our bond means everything, but knowing they are lost to me…” I rub my face, trying to find my words. I feel just as much at fault for what happened. “I keep feeling like if I could just think straight, I’d figure out how to save them. I need to sleep because I can barely stop myself from falling off this horse. And as much as I care about you, I… I need them back.”

He squeezes me to him in a quick, reassuring embrace. I know it’s as much for me as for him to remember I’m still in his arms.

“I thought our bond might be permanently damaged because of what I’ve done since Turgon captured us.” Eldrin nuzzles into my hair. “Please know that I didn’t mean to push you into forgiving me.” He sucks in a breath. “It’s just that… I feel lost, too. I thought Jaden and Oakes would be here when I confronted my father. They have always been my guides in life—my true family. And now, with you pulling away…”

“Remember that it was you who pulled away. Perhaps the distance you feel is the barrier you’ve put up with some silly notion of protecting me.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m a mess inside. This is no way for an elf to be… especially a prince.” His fingers tighten on the reins. “Wyn, I don’t know if I can do this.”

I look over my shoulder to meet his eyes. “You can do whatever you set your mind to. And as for our relationship, don’t strangle our bond with your worries.” I lean back into his broad chest. “If I’m blocking our bond somehow, please understand and allow me to mourn them.”

“Jaden and Oakes aren’t dead.”

“Yet.” My mind cracks with that word. Dead . I turn away and let my face fall into my palms to hide the fear.

“Maybe Mage Neven can divine where they are and if we can save them,” Eldrin offers hopefully.

I don’t trust my voice not to give out again, so I just nod my head listlessly. Maybe Neven can help, or maybe Neven will tell us it’s too late.

The mage temple comes into view, and I remember the strange warning Mage Neven gave me. My blood has been spilled in violence, and a war has erupted. It seems ridiculous to me I would have such an effect on the realms, but it has come to pass.

What ominous news will Neven tell me now?

“You’ll be able to rest here while I see to Twyla’s situation with the mages,” Eldrin reassures me.

“That would be good, on both accounts. Maybe they can help her.”

“I’m not sure if they can since Neven wasn’t able to pull you out of the dream walking spell,” Eldrin whispers over the shell of my ear.

“Then why suggest coming here?” I ask.

“I’m hoping they can help, since her affliction seems different. If nothing else, they can keep her physically safe until she comes out of it on her own.”

Thirty human soldiers follow Eldrin and our guards up to the sacred Elven site.

As if expecting our arrival, the ageless yet ancient Mage Neven emerges from the huge carved wooden entrance to greet us. She leaves the doors ajar behind her as she steps down the stairs to greet the prince.

In a quiet voice, Eldrin educates me of mage ways, “The doors are open… it means she has accepted our presence.”

“She probably had a vision of our arrival,” I mutter, feeling dread seep into my being.

“Wise Mage Neven!” Eldrin calls. He dismounts, helps me down, then bows in honor of Neven’s spiritual rank.

“Prince Eldrin, Princess Wynstelle.” Mage Neven nods politely to us, then frowns when she sees Twyla’s unconscious form. “So, she is why you have returned?”

“Partly,” Eldrin answers. “However, I’m sure you have sensed I also seek counsel for my other… predicaments.”

“Of course.” She nods and holds her graceful arm out to indicate a large building separate from the temple. “The human soldiers are welcome to take the meeting hall as shelter while waiting for Princess Twyla to recover. There should be enough room, and we’ll provide water, food, and whatever else they need.”

“You are most generous,” Eldrin bows slightly in appreciation.

“Wait a moment. How does that elf know she is Princess Twyla?” The human captain, Oliver, says with suspicion.

Eldrin whips his head around to glare at the man. “This elf is a revered Mage Seer. She probably knows what you had for breakfast.”

“Stale bread and mead,” Neven answers with a slight smile.

Rhys grimaces at his subordinate’s rude behavior toward the mage and waves to the human soldiers to go inside the meeting hall. “Go. I will stay with the princess.”

“Merlara, good to see you again,” Mage Neven says, holding out her hands to welcome my former keeper.

I narrow my eyes at their familiarity with each other.

Eldrin notices my response and whispers, “Remember, they both have been around for centuries and were likely to know one another.”

“I suppose I’m a bit sensitive at the moment. I just wish so much hadn’t been kept from me my whole life. Merlara knew I was a princess when she raised me as her servant… a slave.” I shake my head to rid myself of the rising frustration. “Not that I need or want an extravagant lifestyle, but I would have liked to have been free.”

“I understand your sentiment.” Eldrin sighs. “I often wonder if anyone is truly free. Aren’t we all held back by the expectations of our parents, society, and cultures? Twyla isn’t free to idly wander the world on her own or do whatever she wishes on a whim. If she returns to King Nathaniel, he will likely punish her—probably force her to marry. For that matter, I’m rarely able to do as I want. My father has controlled me ever since I was born. Mating with you was the first act in which I rebelled against him. I’m sure he will probably kill me if I keep rebelling.”

I nod, hearing the truth in his words. “Yes, I agree no one is completely free, but I only wish I hadn’t been worked so hard and been so isolated. But it doesn’t matter since it is in the past. For now, I just need some rest. Even talking is too much for me right now.”

“Come, Wyn,” Mage Neven calls to me. “Go with Mage Abela. She will show you to a room so you can sleep.”

I bow to Neven, then hurry after Abela, who appears in the wide doorway. Another mage rushes past me to assist Rhys with bringing Twyla inside.

Eldrin calls, “Baelen, with Wynstelle, please.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Our guard hands her reins to Corwin and hurries after me.

Just before I turn the corner and am out of sight, I look back and see that Eldrin’s eyes are on me. I give him a little wave and continue on my way. My small gesture has to be enough for him right now. With all that has gone on, I don’t even have the energy to mourn Jaden and Oakes anymore. I’m concerned I will collapse on the floor before I make it to wherever Abela is taking me. I idly wonder if everyone else will be able to rest, too.

“Do you sense if Princess Twyla will recover?” I ask the mage.

Abela glances at me, assessing me. “You care about the changeling who stole your life?”

“She didn’t steal it. I was going to die as a baby, so I would have never had a life, anyway.”

Abela stops and turns to lock eyes with me, looking deadly serious. “You were not a sickling.”

The words almost don’t register in my mind. Then I finally gather my wits and say, “But my father gave me up to save my life.”

“He gave you up to save his kingdom ,” Abela states matter-of-factly. She spins dismissively and leads me down the long corridor.

I follow as if in a trance. When Abela opens a door by the dim light from the hallway sconce, I see a small bed in the corner. I step inside, collapse on the bed pallet, and curl up into a ball. I don’t care if the mage is judging me for the way I sink into myself.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. However, you should know the truth… finally .” Abela shuts the door, casting the room into a consuming darkness.

Abela’s claim is an echo of my nightmare spell when Merlara taunted me with that exact same thing. Could it be true I was never deathly ill as a baby? Was I merely given up by my father as a literal peace offering? Or is Abela provoking me because she despises humans?

I am happy for the darkness as I cry myself to sleep.