Bonds Eternal (Fae Hearted #4)

31. Changes

31

CHANGES

ELDRIN

J aden and Oakes vanish from Wyn’s mind to work on saving her physical form.

Dread washes over me. I don’t know if I am capable of healing her emotionally. Can I call her mind and soul back to us?

That she believes she has failed us ruins me. She has saved me and the others too many times to count. Not only did she save me the moment I met her, challenging me to be a better elf, she also battled a powerful mage and won.

What other wonders could she bless the realms with if we can save her now?

I need her more than my next breath. So I must do what I can to shake her from this nightmare she’s trapped in.

I move forward, my steps unsteady. Thankfully, I recently strengthened my connection to Wyn, but that was before I messed up, said my goodbyes so I could challenge my father.

She watched me as I killed the king for no reason. Magnus was a victim, just like everyone else had been. And I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out. I saw her look of disappointment after my rash action. Now she feels that she failed me for not healing him—fixing my mistake.

I clench my jaw and force myself to remember why I’m here—to save my love.

I cannot fail this time.

“Wyn?” I squat down and stroke her soft, honey brown hair. “Look at me. I’m alive. I’m safe now. I’ve crossed into your mind so I can wake you. And I might lose you if you don’t find your way back to your body—to me. To Jaden and Oakes.”

“What?” Wyn looks up at me, her eyes shining with tears. “But no… that isn’t right—Idril was too much for me. I couldn’t finish giving you back your essence and save you.”

“But you did finish.” I pull her into my arms, surrounding her with my love. “Even though her massive power was a lot to take on for your human body, you still succeeded in reviving us. In fact, you blessed us with enhanced powers. Right now, Jaden and Oakes are using their new gifts to repair the damage,” I explain.

“No. This is all an illusion. I’m dead, and this is my afterlife punishment—forever reminded that I didn’t save you. My failure just proves that I never should have had your love in the first place. I am just a helpless servant dressed up in princess clothing.”

Fuck. Her words wound me. Did we not show her enough love? Did we even have a chance to? I had planned on erasing all her ingrained beliefs about her station. I had planned to demonstrate over the next decades and centuries how much she means to me. I had planned to become worthy of her love.

“You are a princess. And you aren’t broken,” I argue with a forceful growl. I can’t have her thinking this way ever again. “You might have been worked too hard, but Merlara didn’t think of you as a servant. I can clearly see that she loves you. She risked her own life to help you, even though you are no longer her responsibility.”

Wyn wipes away her tears and stares at me. “Even if what you are saying is true, I don’t deserve to be with you because… what can I truly offer? I’m a weak and cursed human. People have died because of me. I wasn’t quick enough, and you killed your father. Then I wasn’t strong enough to heal him.”

“Nonsense. My father’s death was my fault for reacting before thinking.” I sit on the floor and pull her into my lap. I try to use my influencer magic to create a calming embrace.

She softens with my soothing touch.

I feed her more of my influencer magic, trying to break the spiraling madness of insecurity that Idril infected her with. Hope rises in me when I sense her fears subsiding.

“You are a brilliant light, my princess.” I remind her. “You are compassionate and generous. You risked yourself for realms. I know from personal experience it isn’t easy changing the beliefs we have about ourselves. We hold on to them because it’s all we have.”

“I want to be something more than a lowly human servant. But that’s all I’ve known about myself until recently.”

“I understand it takes time and new experiences to overcome what others’ lies have convinced us about who we are. I’m a victim of this too. My whole life, my father beat me down, telling me I was a disappointment—a failure. His insults and punishments only became worse when my mother died. I believed all his abusive comments. So I lived down to his expectations—I became lazy and frivolous. Then you came along and showed me another way. You believed in me.”

“I could see your heart was good,” she says softly.

“Yes. You found the goodness in me and are making it grow.” I kiss her cheek and nuzzle into her, hoping to make her feel safe. “So as far as our mating is concerned, I’m not worthy of your love. I don’t deserve someone as wonderful and kind as you. Not yet, but I hope to earn it one day.”

“If I’m so great, then why don’t you believe you are worthy if I picked you?” she huffs. I see the light returning to her eyes. She’s breaking out of the haze.

“Because I’m a selfish, arrogant ass.” I catch her chin and gaze into her eyes. “And you liked me anyway.”

“No.” Wyn’s voice comes out fierce. “I loved you anyway.”

I laugh. “I notice you aren’t arguing the ass part.”

A reluctant smile escapes onto her lips. “You might be an ass sometimes, but you are also loving and protective, and you try your best.”

I nod. “I try my best for you . And I need you to try your best now.”

“I did, but…” Wyn argues, “I wasn’t strong enough to save you!”

“Wyn, you did.” My voice is a stern reprimand. “Feel me. This is real. I’m alive and trying to wake you from the nightmare. Please, break out of it so we can save you.” I kiss her mouth gently. “I need to bring your consciousness back, or else we really will suffer from losing you. I don’t think I could survive that. Especially after what I did to my father. I need you.”

Wyn’s eyes widen as she touches my cheek. “Truly? You’re in my mind, but you are also real, aren’t you?”

Jaden and Oakes reappear in Wyn’s room.

She gasps, but her eyes light up, and she looks at me again. I see her trying her best to shake the nightmare and understand what’s happening. I can’t imagine how strange it must be to have someone in her mind—even if it is her mates.

“I believe her body is stable now,” Oakes says.

“Stable?” Wyn asks. “Are you real? Did you really all survive Idril’s attack?”

“Because of you,” Jaden says as he drops to the floor and joins us. He kisses her temple. “Now we need you to wake up, love.”

Oakes kneels down and holds her chin in his large hand, commanding her attention and demands, “Now, Wyn. Come back. Now .”

She stares into his amber eyes.

All of us feel his desperation and then everything turns dark.