Bonds of Fate (Fated in the Stars #2)

Chapter Eight Jay

Jay

“Well, that’s two of you now, then, eh?”

Jay feels his stomach drop to his toes. Suppressing the telltale urge to rub the back of his neck, he groans. “Gideon. What—”

“Now isn’t the time for you to explain why you lied to me, Jaybird. But I will need the full explanation when I am in a more convenient position to better smack you upside the head. Although, I suppose I did do that earlier.”

“I’m sorry.” His shame isn’t about the bond he’s been feeling in his chest since Nix woke up; it’s not even about keeping it to himself. It’s about making his mate feel bad when this was supposed to be a celebration.

Jay can’t help but think he’s gone about this whole thing wrong. Not the transition, but everything after. He’d thought his world was spinning fast then, but it’s only picked up speed. He’s still reacting instead of acting, and maybe now is the time to stop putting off until tomorrow what he should have fucking done yesterday.

“Jay, what does Gideon mean that you lied?” It’s Luca, who’s sitting up and leaning back in Finn’s lap. Both his boys look sleepy and satisfied, with soft cheeks and sleepy eyes. Rowan is still out, but his knot has slipped free, and Gideon gently rolls him to the side.

Jay sits his ass down again; Grayson and Nix will have to wait a few more minutes. Sighing, he rubs his hand over the back of his head, and Luca’s eyes widen a fraction. It’s his tell, and it gives away his emotions every time. He wants Gideon to call him out—to put him on blast and expose what he’s been hiding.

More than that, he wants to know how Gideon knew. His mate has never been about easy but has always been about honesty. He’s taken more raised eyebrows, rolled eyes, and flack from him about how he’s handled this whole affair, but this has got to be worse yet.

But besides the ‘not-so-easy’ and the honesty, Gideon is also about trust and maybe a bit about I-told-you-so. So Gideon isn’t going to give his boys the words Jay will have to find on his own, and to drive that point home, Gideon pulls a blanket over his lap and grabs a bottle of water, with a lift of his chin that conveys get on with it, you made your bed, now lie in it.

Sighing again, Jay decides the beginning is as good a place as any. “Look. I didn’t exactly lie , Luca, as much as I didn’t share.”

“Sounds the same to me, Jay.” Finn has also attended the not-easy/honesty school under Gideon’s excellent tutelage.

“Just tell us, and then I can decide for myself, please. You’d never lie if you didn’t think it was important. So what’s so important that you kept it to yourself? It’s about Nix, right?” Jay sometimes thinks they all underestimate Luca too often.

Just because he often prefers to avoid conflict and interpersonal hardships doesn’t mean he isn’t as emotionally intelligent as the others. In fact, sometimes, he’s even more attuned to the unsettling forces inside their relationships.

“When Nix woke up and bit me, it was a claiming bite.” He removes the bandage on his left shoulder. It’s deep and perfect but certainly not in need of first aid by this point. It’s clear to everyone present he meant to hide it under the pretense of an injury.

Finn hoists Luca to his feet so their beta can seek some comfort from Gideon and then comes closer to inspect the bite. “It’s perfect.” There’s a small smile on his face. Jay’s not sure if there’s a bit of envy there. “But why hide it? I can’t think any of us would begrudge you both a bite that was a long time coming, Jay. It’s something to celebrate, not hide.”

Jay hates disappointing his mates, and that’s twice this week that Finn has had that look on his face. He’s kneeling, naked beside him, and it’s worse than if he’d been clothed and pacing. This is Finn pared down, and he still manages to make Jay feel like a puppy who peed on the carpet—all he’d need is a newspaper to the nose.

“I’m not ashamed of it or him. I hid it because he didn’t mean to give it to me. He didn’t do it on purpose or with intent or whatever. He…” His eyes water, and until this point, he hadn’t been able to put it into words, but hearing it aloud made it harder. Nix had bitten him out of instinct, and maybe if he’d been aware, he wouldn’t have wanted it at all.

Luca looks surprised. “Jay. Were you there? I think you were there, right? I saw him. I saw him clear that bed in a single leap, land on you, and he one hundred percent wanted to make sure you were never, ever getting away. He would have let you make him come, too, if you hadn’t been honor-bound to stop him. I mean, you were right not to fuck him thirty seconds in, but Jay, he wanted you.”

Finn nods in agreement, running a fingertip over the deep bite. “Luca is right. This isn’t even on your scent gland proper. The blood flow runs through here, but without intent, it might not have taken. It’s still here and deep as fuck. He clearly meant it, even if he didn’t know exactly what it would look like afterward.”

Jay looks at his mates, uncertainty about the whole thing making his eyes burn.

“What are you really worried about, Jaybird?” Luca makes his way across the nest so he can crawl into his lap and straddle him, hand on Jay’s cheek, searching his eyes.

Looking deeply into his first mate’s eyes, he sees only understanding. “What if he really doesn’t want me like that, Luca? What if he’s angry that I left him and his life turned to shit? What if he thinks it’s my fault he almost died? It is my fault he’s an entirely new species. What if this ties him to me, and he hates me forever?”

Finn leans into Jay’s spine, and Gideon gingerly knee-walks into the pile, muttering, “Ow. Fuck, Rowan. Ow.” He grabs Jay’s shoulder and looks right into his eyes. “That’s insane. He loves you, and he needs you. Even after all this time, we can all see how connected you both are.”

The other two nod, but Luca says, “You share the same heart like it beats in your chest and his, Jay. The same one. I can feel it when you’re together and even when you’re apart. Don’t you feel it now that he’s here? Like all your pieces are right where they’re supposed to be?”

Finn’s looking at Luca with that look of awe he gets almost every day when their beta surprises them. “Awww, Luca.”

“Finn, don’t cry. I love you that way, too.”

“You do?”

Luca launches himself off Jay’s lap, and Jay narrowly avoids a knee to the dick. “Of course I do. I told you ‘I love you’ not five minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but not like that.”

“You need the romance? I can do that.” He leans forward and whispers something so low in Finn’s ear that no one else can hear; Jay watches as the staid Finn’s mouth drops open, and his face goes red. Luca leans back a bit to see Finn’s reaction. In seconds, Finn has Luca under him again and is peppering kisses all over the giggling beta’s face. “Finn…you love me, baby.”

Jay never thought it possible that someone could shriek in “whisper.”

“Okay, enough of that, you two. If you wake the sleeping wolf, one of you is taking that boy’s new giant knot. My ass is ruined.” It’s enough to give the younger mates pause, and both track Rowan’s still-hard cock under the light blanket, both wondering if it’d be worth it to take the chance.

“Fuck, don’t even think about it. Neither of you is ready. Jay, don’t cover that badge of honor from anyone. He gave it to you, however unknowingly, and he’ll be thrilled once he realizes he’s done it, mark my words. You said he’d done the same to Gray?”

Luca squawks out loud for real this time before shooting a glance over at Rowan, who twitches but doesn’t wake. He gets the evil eye from Gideon but only smirks. The little shit did that on purpose. Ah well, he’ll learn the long and hard way—just as he likes it.

“He bit Grayson, too? I want one. Jay, can I go see Nixie now?” He’s crawling out of the nest, pretty ass leaking come on full display, and Jay takes a moment to just enjoy the view. Even after six years of seeing it, he’ll never tire of no-pants-Luca.

Thankfully, Gideon is not as easily distracted, or maybe his ass-on-fire is enough of a deterrent. “No, you may not. Jay is going up, and you are going to let Finn help you prep because I think our sleeping alpha is just about in his next wave. That okay?” Gideon is right, as always, as Rowan’s spiced rum scent is stronger than ever.

Luca squints his eyes, like he’s debating internally the pros and cons, but eventually decides on a sure thing. “That was a hard decision.” He spots the lube and flops on his belly over the side of the nest, chest flat on the floor. The sunken nest adds a lot of options regarding positions, and Finn grabs the lube, easily distracted by the perfectly juicy ass in front of him.

“You’re not mad, then?” His question is meant for the three of them, but he’s looking at Gideon, who’s more focused on Finn prying apart Luca’s cheeks so he can slide in two fingers, watching as Finn’s load leaks out and runs down his perineum. “Gideon?”

“Hmmm? What? Oh. No. Not mad.” Jay thinks he’s not really paying attention until his mate’s gaze locks with his own with laser focus. “But don’t hide shit from us, Jay. Now kiss me and get out before Rowan is awake for good.”

He does as he’s told and climbs out of the nest, walking around the outside so he can press a kiss to Luca’s head and blow one to Finn, who is concentrating on his very onerous task. With one last look at the stirring Rowan, he grabs his phone and heads downstairs, intent on checking in with Leo first…even if Gray’s room is right there.

Leo’s room is in the other wing of the house, across the common room, and it doesn’t take nearly long enough before he’s knocking on Leo’s door. Not that he’s procrastinating about seeing Grayson and Nix. No sirree .

He doesn’t get an answer but hears the shower, so he enters and announces himself. “Leo? It’s me. Can I come in?”

Leo is beautiful in the shower. When they’d mated, Leo had been so lean and since has grown the most delicious bits of softness alongside his well-earned muscles. Under his jaw, around his tummy, the insides of his soft thighs, under his ass where his thigh meets his ass cheek. Jay loves to nip and suck these parts, and even though it makes his mate blush, he loves to worship the piece of art that is Leo Costas.

“Leo? It’s me.” The beta almost drops the large slippery butt plug he’d been trying to work up to while the hot water rained down from a rain-style shower-head. The shower itself is gorgeous, with dark stone and tiny shelves for living green jungle plants. There’s a handheld attachment, too, and it’s all behind a transparent, nine-foot-high wall of glass attached to the floor and the ceiling only.

Grayson’s design brilliance strikes again, but it’s not nearly as beautiful as his mate, flushed red, the plug still halfway in.

“Shit, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come in. Is Rowan awake?” He turns the water off and stands naked, beautiful cock hard, crown almost to his belly button. It’s pink, and Jay thinks he could have it in his mouth. “Jaybird! Hey, big boy, my eyes are up here. That’s not for you today, sorry.”

Jay’s wolf whimpers and Jay wishes he could actually smack him on the snout. Down, boy. “Stirring when I left,” he rasps, clearing his throat when Leo raises an eyebrow. “What, can you blame me? You are a vision. I need to write another song about you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I can’t get this in by myself, and I’m not heading in there without it. Rowan was in the zone. Can you give me a hand?”

Jay washes his hands, takes a warm towel from the warmer, and dries Leo’s broad back. There’s a mole on his shoulder beside his birth pack’s tattoo, and he gives that a kiss, too. “I can, but I want to tell you two things first.”

“Jay, I have a butt plug half in and half out of my ass; the only thing keeping it in is my sheer force of will and the hours of Kegels I do every week. Not to mention the leg presses. Do you think you could multitask?”

Jay snorts, making a twirling motion with his hand, and he hears Leo mutter, “A nd they say I’m the one who can’t multitask.”

After a satisfyingly loud smack to the perfect ass in front of him—both for the sass and just to see it jiggle—he reaches for the lube and coats the plug more thoroughly. “Foot on the toilet lid and ass out, please.”

There’s a snort because there’s no way he needs that much visual to insert the plug, but Leo goes anyway and puts a supporting hand on the wall beside the toilet. What a sight. Fuck.

“Now you’re just doing it on purpose.”

His mate chuckles but doesn’t readjust his stance, either.

“You are a troublemaker.” Pulling aside his lush butt-cheek, he twists it while pushing the plug in.

His mate pushes back, and it slides right in—smoother with help. “ Ah ah ah. ” His broad back glistens with more than water now. Jay leans in to lick a stripe up his spine and takes a single step in behind, intending to rub his clothed erection on Leo’s perfect ass.

Leo breathes out, cock leaking precome down his shaft; Jay can’t help but reach out a finger for a taste. “Ya! I’ll be no good to him if I come for you, Jay.” He waddles endearingly out into his bedroom and, unsurprisingly, doesn’t sit.

Sucking his finger, Jay follows raptly and tries not to smile as spicy cinnamon bursts on his tongue.

“Now tell me what’s so urgen–fuck, Jay.” Leo’s eyes are wide in surprise as he leans in for a closer look at Nix’s bite. “Is that what you’ve been hiding under that bandage? Nix claimed you?” His beta has come in for a closer look, and he feels Leo’s hard cock brush his own through his sweatpants; it sends a zing of pleasure down his spine. “Jay! Focus.”

Procrastination and distraction are not working. Fine.

“Leo. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. It was a lot all at once. I felt the bond snap into place, and then I was helping him get his instincts under control at the hospital. I thought it was just wishful thinking on my part. I’d wanted it for so long, ya know? And then I thought maybe I’d stolen it from him.”

“What do you mean you’d stolen it ? Our omega is in love with you. Love . Tell me you know that.” He tries to sit on his bed and then thinks better of it at the last minute. “Fuck. Remind me again why I thought I needed the biggest one?”

“Based on what Gideon says, you chose wisely. The biggest one is the way to go. The boy has only gotten bigger.” It’s just like them to be having two conversations at the same time. Jay is so lucky that Leo gets him. “You think he loves me, too? Gideon says he does, but it’s been so long.”

“You told Gideon?” He’s hurt, his cinnamon-bark scent burning.

“What? No! I mean, yes, I did, plus Finn and Luca, but only right before I came up here to tell you.” He pulls his mate into his arms and kisses his forehead, pumping out his own pine scent until he feels him relax.

“Did Grayson tell you about him and Nix?”

“That Nix claimed him, too? Just now. Nix is asking for me.”

“Not just about that, Jay. He had their star charts run by reputable practitioners, and it’s legit. I researched their credentials in the faith—they’re experts. Published. They even have the High Council’s seal.”

“Their astrological charts?” Jay had only a passing knowledge of the Were faith, the Goddess, and her ties to the moon. He respects his mates’ practice, of course, but his practical knowledge is almost nil. “What are you saying?”

“They’re soulmates. Grayson’s been pretty worked up about it. They said it would explain his out-of-character behavior this week.” Jay plops down onto the bed.

“Soulmates?” Jay should be happy for them. He is. It’s something he’s only ever dreamed of, and he cannot begrudge them this extra connection. He never has—with Gideon and Luca.

But still, a pang settles deep in his chest, fleeting but undeniable. They are all fated by the Goddess. All bound as one. But to share a soul? That’s something else. Something rarer. Something that, for all the love he holds in his hands, he’ll never quite touch.

And maybe it wouldn’t sting—if it weren’t Nix because Nix was his first. The first love that shaped him, the first bond that made him whole. The first piece of his forever.

He exhales steadily. It doesn’t change what they have. It doesn’t change him. But the ache lingers for just a breath before he lets it go.

“Jay.” He must smell like he feels because Leo drops to his knees in front of him with a wince, a grunt—and then a shiver. “It’s just a spiritual chart. And an incomplete one at that.” His voice is steady and reassuring. “We already know we’re all fated. We all have a part to play—for him and each other.”

Leo pauses. Then freezes.

Eyes widening, he smacks himself in the head. “Shit. We missed your birthday.”

Huh. They had? What day was it? Was he twenty-seven and didn’t even know it? “It’s okay, we’ve had a lot going on.”

His Leo is so sentimental. “It’s not okay, and I am so sorry. When Rowan is sane again, we will celebrate, okay? I got you something special.” He gives an exaggerated wink.

“You did? Is it you? Because—best. Gift. Ever.”

Leo giggles, high and light, but the moment passes fast. His expression shifts—serious now.

“I’m serious. I feel awful. The others will, too, and Luca might cry.” Jay smiles at the memory of when they first met, and Leo and Luca found him alone in Ripley’s studio on his twenty-first birthday. Luca had burst into tears, then they’d both sucked his brain out through his dick.

Leo must be remembered too because they both say, “Good times,” at the same time—then burst into laughter.

“Babe, don’t let this thing with Grayson and Nix mess with your head. He’s yours, always has been, and from the look at that bite, he always will be. He’s our mate. Try to focus on the joy of having him here.” Wise words.

“I’ll remember, Leo. Thanks.”

Both their phones go, and Leo climbs to his feet and groans, going to fetch his. “Rowan is demanding my esteemed presence, post haste.”

“Is that what it says?” Jay asks suspiciously because that doesn’t sound like Gideon’s style at all.

“Ha! No. It says Get your luscious ass in here now before Rowan breaks the fucking door down.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“Yeah, we do not want him looking for me on his own.”

“True, but I was thinking more about how your ass is luscious—juicy even.”

He follows his naked beta’s booty out of his room all the way to the nest room, where Jay kisses him before heading toward Gray’s room. “Good luck, luscious.”

“You too, alpha. Remember, he’s yours, too.”