Bonds of the Forsaken: A Reverse Harem Romantasy (Her Forsaken Mates Book 1)

20. Kaiya

Bright lights stabbed the backs of my eyes as I drifted into consciousness, the overwhelming cacophony from the Guardian gone.

A cool breeze whispered across my face, and I forced my eyes open. Reddish sandstone walls surrounded me on all four sides, broken only by a single arched window just past the edge of the bed. The shadow of something large passed by, the carriage-sized object glinting in the sunlight.

What in the seven hells? Where was I?

I tried to sit up, but the pillowy white blankets covering me were tangled around my legs and waist.

Glaring at them, I tried again, but a sharp stab of pain shot through my skull, and I fell back, closing my eyes, willing the pain away.

The door creaked open, and I squinted through the headache to see who was there.

”Miss Maderoth.” A petite older woman with close-cropped white hair and a friendly smile on her burgundy lips stepped through the door.

She wore a dress unlike anything I”d ever seen. The shimmering blue fabric wrapped around her body several times and was tied in place with a thin metallic belt. Several necklaces lay in layers on her chest, scattered with stones of different colors, and the light from the window caught on the multitude of rings covering her fingers.

Walking over, she sat on the edge of the bed. Gently patting my knee, she smiled as she spoke. ”Don”t strain yourself. It”s a miracle you survived the Guardian”s wrath. I”ve never heard of anyone being attacked and not burning alive.” She shook her head.

”But damn if they didn”t leave you hot to the touch,” she continued. ”Thank the heavens Jaiel had the presence of mind to bring you here after that smoke signal or whatever didn”t appear.” She nodded in the direction of the door and whispered conspiratorially. ”Let me tell you, he was a mess, scrambling here with you over his shoulder. It”s not often that boy frets about something … let alone someone!”

Jaiel carried me — here? Where even was here? And why hadn”t he tossed me from the boat when the guardian attacked? I”d obviously been burning alive like he”d warned …

I tried to ask, but my throat felt like someone had filled it with glass.

Wait. If I”d passed out and there was no smoke signal … had he brought me to the dragon village?

Fuck. I really needed to talk to him.

Before I could sit up, her cool fingers pressed into my forehead, and her thin lips curved into a slight smile.

”Your fever”s broken. I”m sure the boys will want to know. Mirrim!” Her yell made me jump, and she turned toward the door. ”Let the boys know she”s awake!”

A girl with wide, curious green eyes peeked around the corner before disappearing again, and my stomach lurched. Mirrim … wasn”t that the name of Eli”s sister?

I looked up at the woman standing over me, and her smile widened, a familiar dimple appearing in her right cheek.

No … it wasn”t possible. Jaiel wouldn”t do that to me!

Heart racing, I pushed myself further into the bed, pulling the blankets closer to my face.

There was no way I could face Eli”s family after I”d gotten him killed.

I”d tried to send them letters in the months after the incident, but had never had enough courage to actually get them sent.

Cool fingers tugged on the blanket, then traced a path down the side of my face. ”It”ll be okay, dear. No need to worry. Things aren”t as those two would have you believe.”

I barely heard her words as I squeezed my eyes tighter, willing away this nightmare.

”You”re awake.”

My heart flew into my throat, and my eyes snapped open.

That voice …

A familiar man stepped through the door frame, and it felt as though the air was sucked from the room.

His face had leaned out over the past two years, and his black hair was now cropped close to his head. But he still looked like the same Eli who”d died in my arms.

The back of my eyes prickled, and my throat felt tight as I watched him step further in. Those familiar lips pressed in a hard, flat line. Cold green eyes met mine, and my heart stuttered.

It simply wasn”t possible.

Laying back, I willed myself to wake up, pinching my arm over and over.

Nothing.

Perhaps the Guardian had made me go mad.

Yes.I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. I”d gone mad!

What other fucking explanation was there?

A twin, perhaps? I almost laughed aloud.

Every explanation for this situation sounded insane.

Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes and channeled my korra, reaching out to him, desperately searching for the familiar pattern of the reckless, lying, and annoyingly happy man who had died protecting me in Gleyma.

”Princess,” Jaiel said. ”When the Guardian left, you wouldn”t wake and were burning with a fever. I tried getting us to the rendezvous point, but there was no smoke signal, so I —”

My eyes flew open as the puzzle pieces snapped into place.

Jaiel”s refusal to talk about Eli. His desire to avoid coming here. His seeming lack of hurt over the loss of his long-time friend.

Gods! He knew all along!!

And I”d thought he was worried about me all this time?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

If Frexin”s team had done their job and made the signal fire, I”d never have learned the truth …

Forsaken hells!

THIS was why I worked alone!Secrets, lies, feelings — other people were just an endless stream of pain and distractions from what really mattered.

Fire burned through my veins as I sat up.

”You!” My voice was raspy. ”I cannot believe you both let me think he was DEAD all this time!”

Jaiel winced, but Eli”s face remained void of emotion.

”I — it”s not like I —” Jaiel couldn”t find the words.

”I don”t have time for this,” Eli interrupted, voice sharp and so very different from the sunny Eli I remembered. ”I demanded Jaiel not tell you I had survived, Kaiya. After everything that happened, it seemed like a clean cut between us would be best. But as you found out the truth, anyway, I apologize.”

That cold, irritated expression never even left his fucking face.

”Now,” he continued. ”With that out of the way, is there anything else we should discuss? I have important work I need to return to.”

I stared at him, speechless, as my heart twisted into knots inside my chest.

For months I”d half-expected him to show up and ask what I was doing working for Frexin in that endearingly cocky way of his. But of course he hadn”t.

He was dead.

I”d thought I”d never hear that voice … see those eyes …

Yet … there he stood, callously ripping open a wound and dousing it with salt.

Pain radiated inside my chest, and my tongue felt like it had swollen to twice its size.

I shook my head and forced my eyes closed, shoving all that pain into a box in my mind.

I had a mission to do, and if I didn”t bury those feelings right now, it might break me … again.

The pain tried to wrench free, but I pushed it back.

This was GOOD news.

My heart twisted in pain.

No. I pushed the emotions down again. He didn”t owe me anything. We”d known each other for a month, at most. And for most of that time, he”d lied and pretended to be someone else. His name wasn”t even really Eli …

He”d done what he needed for his mission — just as I would do for mine.

The memory of his almost-confession whispered in my mind, but I pushed it away. You couldn”t develop feelings, or a genuine relationship, in that short of a time.

”She”s obviously upset,” Eli said, voice hard. ”But I can”t wait around while she collects herself. I need to visit the caves, then prepare for the council meeting.”

My eyes flew open to meet his sharp gaze.

Those cold green eyes didn”t even flinch.

One heartbeat. Two —

Spinning on his heel, Eli strode out of the room, the door clicking shut softly behind him.

My breath caught.

”Kaiya, I”m sorry —” Jaiel”s silken voice grated against my skin.

I gripped the blanket tighter around my waist and stared down as something hot and heavy boiled inside my chest, twisting tighter with every breath.

”Two years,” I ground out, lifting my gaze to meet his. ”Two fucking years.”

His cheeks flushed slightly, and he cast a longing look at the door. ”I”m sorry, Princess. I —”

”How could you?”

He looked conflicted for a moment, searching for the words. But he straightened his back and met my eyes. ”I”ve never pretended to be anything I”m not, Princess. I lie for a living. If you thought something else — well, that”s on you.”

My jaw dropped. GODS. He was SUCH a bastard!

”OUT,” I shouted, pointing at the door. ”If you care so fucking little, get OUT of here.”

He wavered for a moment, blue eyes searching my own. Then tightened his lips and strode out, the door slamming behind him.

”That-a-girl.” the older woman said from the chair next to the bed.

Hells! I”d forgotten she was even in the room! My cheeks heated and my anger deflated instantly. ”I”m sorry — I …”

”Not at all, dear,” she interrupted, clicking her tongue as she grabbed a pile of clothes. ”Those two claim to be men, yet they act like boys. This”ll do them both some good.” She looked at the door, shaking her head. ”Liam hasn”t been the same since his parents died, and the prince can always do with a good shaking.”

Liam. That”s right … He was Liam, not Eli. Was anything he told me true?

She wrapped me in a hug. ”I”m sorry my dear.”

My shoulders loosened a bit, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

”Come now,” she strode to the door, then turned back. ”If you”d like to join us downstairs, lunch should be ready in about thirty minutes. Jaiel and my grandson won”t be joining us, but there are others who are eager to see you again.”

My heart twisted as the door closed for the third time this morning.

Others?