32. Kaiya
Taking one last look at the dragons soaring in the distance, I turned and made my way toward the stables. Gram said Mirrim and Jaiel would meet me there.
”Kaiya!” Mrs. Harlsted”s familiar voice made my stomach clench. For a moment, I debated running. But like Jaiel said, I”d been through worse. I could face this. I didn”t have to pretend to be fine.
Taking a breath, I turned around.
Mr. and Mrs. Harlsted ran toward me, both covered in flour and looking frazzled.
”Here!” Mrs. Harlsted said, out of breath as she passed me a pack filled to the brim with snacks. ”You won”t have fresh food out there, so we thought — well, we thought —” her voice caught.
”We”re sorry, Kiddo,” Mr. Harlsted said, pressing his hand to his wife”s shoulder.
”Yes.” She lifted sorrowful eyes to meet mine. ”We”re so very sorry. If we could go back, we”d have told you everything from the beginning.” Her voice quivered. ”But our hands were tied. They still are, really. And I know you have a thousand questions, but I can”t say anywhere near as much as I want — just that —”
They looked at each other, then back at me.
Mr. Harlsted twisted his mustache, then tugged at the blue suspenders crossing his chest. ”What we”re trying to say is that we fucked up, Kiddo. I wish we had some grand explanation, but we don”t. When the Empire arrived that night, we fled.” His jaw tightened ”We worried about you and reached out, but our contacts said you were okay and under the protection of some big-wig lady in the Empire. We said we”d try again when things calmed down more.” He looked down at his wife and she squeezed his arm, then he looked back at me, eyes sad. ”Then more weeks passed, and we didn”t know how to explain about Liam. Eventually, so much time passed that it just felt like it was too late to reach out. I”m so sorry, Kiddo. So very sorry.”
My chest ached as I stared at the people I”d loved as my own family.
Perhaps it was better they didn”t have some big reason, though.
They were just like everyone else and simply messed up. And who was I to judge them for doing that? We”d all done regrettable things to protect the ones we loved. How many times had I turned a blind eye to what the Empire was doing so I could continue to protect Aunt Grace and myself?
”I understand,” I said, voice shaking. ”I can”t pretend it doesn”t hurt, but I do understand.”
Their shoulders relaxed, and Mr. Harlsted wrapped his arm around his wife. ”Thank you, Kaiya. It”s selfish, but hearing you say that takes a huge weight off us both. When we were assigned to Gleyma …” He fidgeted with his mustache. ”Well, we had no idea it would include watching over you. And then your aunt opened her shop next door, and you”d pop over each day, hair all a mess and eyes aglow, asking for a slice of bread or to work with me.”
”Those years watching you grow were truly the best of our lives,” Mrs. Harlsted added, eyes shining.
My jaw dropped. ”You — you were assigned to watch over me?”
”Indeed.” She nodded. ”An order straight from the top. We were told to keep an eye on you — the daughter of another agent working deep undercover.”
”Holy hells. My mother was a Rogue? And you knew her?”
I had no memories of my mother — just some vague memory of a nursery with white walls.
Did Aunt Grace know all this? I”d asked her about my parents several times, but she always claimed to know very little. Just that my mother vanished many years ago, only to show up on her doorstep a decade later with six-year-old me in tow and a desperate request to keep me safe. A few weeks later, she was found dead on a beach south of Gleyma — the cause of death unclear.
”We never actually met her,” Mr. Harlsted said, shaking his head. ”But she was a legend among the Rogues, so we heard stories. We can ask around for more information about her, if you”d like?” His brows tightened. ”The head of the Rogues on the Isle is a secret-ish type, so I”ve never had the privilege of meeting him, but I”m sure we can contact him through our channels.”
I smiled, chest tight.
”Liam said you were coming back to help with the dragons?” He continued. ”We”ll try to have more information by then.”
”I”d appreciate that,” I said, voice rough. ”Aunt Grace, too. She”s never said much, but I know my mother”s death was hard for her.”
”Of course, dear,” Mrs. Harlsted said, patting my shoulder. ”How is your aunt? We heard she lost the use of her legs that night …”
A pang of guilt stabbed through my stomach. She”d practically been my mother all those years, but after she”d been injured, it had hurt to even be in the same room, and I hadn”t visited nearly enough.
After all, it had been my fault.
Chest tight, I nodded. ”She”s adapted well. She”s about to get married.”
”Married?” Mrs. Harlsted asked, brown eyes going wide. ”Who”s the lucky man?”
”Funny story actually.” I smiled. ”He was her physiotherapist — just showed up one day, and started helping her, free of charge. Claimed he was repaying a blood debt, and wouldn”t say more. Dr. Lorenson is his name.”
I”d spent a good amount of time and money trying to find out more about the man and that debt. But he was very private, and I”d found nothing to make me question his motives.
”I”ve only met him a few times,” I continued. ”But he seems to be a good man. And if my aunt trusts him, she won”t accept anything less from me.”
”Lorenson? Now, where do I know that name from?” Mr. Harlsted said to himself.
Mrs. Harlsted elbowed him, and he returned his focus to me, grinning sheepishly. ”Sorry, Kiddo. She was always a wonderful woman, and it broke our hearts to hear she was injured. I”m happy she”s found someone, though, and has moved on from all that pain. After your uncle passed, it was hard on her and — well, she deserves some happiness.”
”Thank you,” I said, tearing up slightly.
Mrs. Harlsted stepped forward. ”No. Thank you, dear. You”ve always been the daughter we never had. Be safe out there, okay?” She held her arms out tentatively and I stepped into them, eyes burning as her familiar strength wrapped around me. ”We look forward to seeing you again.”
”Me, too!” Mr. Harlsted said, stepping up, adding his warmth to the hug. My chest tightened, and I had to resist the urge to stay and never leave.
”Princess, you ready to go?” Jaiel asked, voice warm.
I stepped out of the hug, nodding and wiping wetness from my cheeks.
”And don”t forget to eat!” added Mr. Harlsted. ”We know how you get when you”re focused.”
I laughed before turning away. It was strange. I usually dreaded the end of a mission, but for once, I was almost looking forward to getting it over with and coming back.
Letting out a long breath, I passed Jaiel one of the snack packs, then strode toward Mirrim.
She stood just outside the stables, the reins of two horse-like creatures held loosely in her hands. They lifted their feathered heads as one, single horns reaching proudly toward the skies as they stared at me.
Then, as if satisfied by what they saw, they shook out their wings and trotted forward.
”Fleirals?” My heart skipped. I hadn”t seen one since Gleyma. ”Don”t tell me you have jukis, too!”
Mirrim grinned as they reached my side, and passed me the reins to the deep blue mount. ”No jukis, unfortunately.”
The blue fleiral nudged my outstretched hand with his snout, careful to avoid hitting me with his horn, and I couldn”t hold back my grin. ”I have to admit, I”ve never actually ridden one before. Just horses,” I said, rubbing his feathered snout slowly, pausing only for him to sniff me. ”What”s your name, big guy?”
”Jax,” Mirrim said, voice warm.
Cautiously, I ran my hand down his feathery mane. ”You are beautiful, Jax. Could you fly with someone on your back?”
Jax let out an arrogant huff, then pawed at the ground.
”Greedy, greedy,” Jaiel teased, mounting a bright pink fleiral to my left. ”Riding these rare, beautiful creatures isn”t enough. You want them to fly you around, too?”
”I was just curious,” I huffed, rubbing Jax”s snout apologetically.
”You know, Princess,” Jaiel snorted. ”I have something you can ride, and it will definitely take you to new heights.”
I shot a glare at him over my shoulder. ”You”ve already used that one.”
He just shrugged and laughed.
Gods. He just couldn”t let the chance for an innuendo pass, could he?
Pointedly ignoring him, I pulled myself up into the saddle in a single smooth motion, enjoying the way the leather shaped itself to fit me.
A strange shiver passed down my spine, and when I looked up, Liam stood there, dark hair mussed as though he”d been up all night, jaw slack with surprise at Gram”s side.
When had they come down here? Was he finally going to apologize?
As if realizing he”d been caught gawking, he slammed his jaw shut and crossed his arms. ”You ride?”
Gram rolled her eyes and offered me a conspiratorial smile.
Fine. He could be a cold fish. I didn”t care anyway.
Stuffing away my feelings, I offered him an exaggerated wink and grabbed the reins. ”Come on, lordling, you think I”ve learned nothing in the past two years? Of course I know how to ride.”
Gram chuckled, and Liam said nothing, staring at me with those emotionless green eyes.
I pointedly ignored him and turned to her. ”Thank you for everything, Mrs. Westin. Your home is lovely, and I”m excited to return.”
”Oh no. None of that. It”s still Gram to you, dear.” Smirking, she elbowed Liam. ”Hopefully grumpy-wing over here will find his manners while you”re gone.”
Liam”s jaw tightened. But that was the only sign he”d even heard her.
I turned to Mirrim. ”And thank you for showing me around. You were the loveliest tour guide.”
Her bright green eyes widened in surprise. ”Thank you!” She dipped her head. ”It was wonderful to finally meet you!”
”Okay, okay. Enough with all the sentiment,” Liam said, voice stiff. ”They need to get going so they can return. We do have a deal, right?”
I nodded, swallowing the other words bubbling inside me.
He stepped forward, and for a moment, he looked like he was about to say something more, but he patted Jax”s mane instead. ”Safe travels.”
”Stay safe,” Jaiel and I said at the same time. We looked at each other, both visibly cringing.
Gods. Why were goodbyes always so awkward? I far preferred just leaving before anyone woke up. They”d be sad for a bit, but it was better than these ridiculous long, drawn out ceremonies with everyone waving and saying sweet things.
Shaking it off, I tapped Jax”s sides, and waved as we started moving, Jaiel close behind me.
Within minutes, we passed through the city gates, and I looked over at the damaged wall from the outside. From that angle, it looked mostly repaired, the new stone a different shade of red-orange than the blocks making up the rest of the wall. A hundred paces away from the wall stood a new stone column capped with a spryke box. The twisted metal and crumbled stone of the old one lay in a gnarled heap nearby.
I ignored the heap and looked for the glow of the beautiful creature. It had been a while since I”d seen a spryke.
Pausing for a moment, I admired the vibrant purple and white ball of energy. The creature almost looked spiky, with bright bits jutting every which way as it seemed to thrum with a deep energy.
I slipped my ring off to examine their bright korra. Just as last time, there were barely any traces of body essence amidst the vibrant spirit and mind essences … but this one”s feelings of contentment and purpose were evident in the calm swirls of their korra … so different from the confused fury of the one in Gleyma.
Heaving a sigh, I slipped my ring back on, and urged Jax forward to catch up with Jaiel.
As the stone walls of Dragon”s Peak shrank in the distances, the road led into a narrow ravine of brightly striated red, orange, and purple rock. It was beautiful!
Honestly, everything in and around the village was.
”That place gets emptier each time I visit,” Jaiel said, voice somber.
Had I ever heard him somber like that?
An uneasy feeling settled into my stomach, and despite myself, I urged Jax forward until we were even with Jaiel.
”You okay?” I asked. ”Tavern not go as well as you”d hoped?”
”Ha. You wish, Princess.”
”Good,” I said, ignoring the twinge in my chest. ”So your charisma is replenished and ready for the mission?”
He shrugged, and I gritted my teeth.
What was this? He”d never been short of words before … and if this area was as dangerous as Liam hinted at, we needed to communicate. There was only one reason he”d be so angsty …
”Wait. You didn”t really answer me. It”s an easy yes or no question, Jaiel. Did you or didn”t you replenish your charisma?”
He chuckled softly and urged his fleiral forward. ”Don”t worry your pretty little head, Princess. I”ll be fine. Just enjoy the view! I”m guessing this is the first time seeing a ravine like this?”
Worry my pretty little —I ground my teeth together and urged Jax forward again. ”Your eyes, Jaiel. Let me see them.”
I”d been so focused on the Harlsteds and Liam that I hadn”t even looked! The prince”s shoulders tightened but he turned to face me.
My stomach sank as traces of dark shadows moved along the edges of his eyes.
”You idiot!” I spat, ignoring the slight pang of relief in my chest.
He shook his head, then turned away. ”It”s fine. I”ve dealt with it before, and this time is no different. So long as the monster doesn”t get too agitated, we should have a few days before it becomes a real problem.”
I shook my head. ”Why didn”t you take care of it last night like you were supposed to?”
”There was no one to take care of it with!” he snapped. ”You saw the village. With the population dwindling, there was no one left to help me.”
No one? That wasn”t completely true.
”Well — you could have asked … me.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat at the thought and tried to ignore the flutterwings dancing in my chest as I pushed the words out. ”Depending on what you said, I might have said yes. I may not look it, but I”ve had my fair share of one-night stands. And I”ve heard the ”No-Kissing Prince” is good at that kind of thing.”
He turned, eyes narrowed as he looked me up and down.
”I”m serious,” I said, lifting my chin. ”A quick, meaningless romp wouldn”t have been out of the question.”
His eyes met mine, some emotion I couldn”t place flitting inside those blue depths. ”Really, Princess? You”re okay being a — oh, what did you call it earlier?” He paused, then held up a finger. ”Ah yes, another notch on my bedpost?”
My chest twisted, but I ignored it and glared back. ”Not when you say it like that, asshole.” Sighing deeply, I directed my gaze forward and tried again. ”I”m just saying that I too have needs, and if it would help the mission, I”m not against it. Besides, from what I”ve heard … a tryst with you wouldn”t be that much of a sacrifice. It would be purely physical, of course, and I”ve always wondered what a pierced cock felt like.”
His jaw tightened, and he looked away, then shook his head. ”Well, my charisma doesn”t work on you, anyway, so I highly doubt sex with you would even satisfy me.”
Satisfy him?!
My fists clenched around the reins. I was damn good at ”satisfying” thank you very much …
But he was right, of course. I was immune to his charisma for some reason, so sex with me probably wouldn”t replenish it enough to help hold the monster back.
The asshole didn”t need to be so damn dismissive of it, though. He was the one always flirting with me!
Forcing a deep breath in through my nose and out of my mouth, I pushed away the irritating emotions to focus on the important thing. His low charisma could really pose a problem for the mission.
”What about boosting your magic through our bond?” I asked, studying his hunched back.
He might pretend he was fine, but his body language said something very different. We had to find another solution.
”I read about it in one of Liam”s texts last night. Supposedly, bond mages can reach through bonds and amplify another mage”s magic. I assume there are the beginnings of a bond between us from our time together, so there”s a chance I could use it to access your charisma and —”
”Absolutely not,” he snapped, turning to face me. ”I”ve heard the stories, and I don”t want you to do anything that might strengthen any bond between us. Moreover, I”m Fae, AND I have a shadow monster sealed inside of me. Did that book happen to say how those would affect the bond?”
I gritted my teeth and shook my head.
”Exactly. And I don”t want to be some experiment.” He turned back to the path ahead. ”Besides, I”ll be fine for a few days. Let”s just follow Liam”s route and get this mission done with.”
”Fine.” I pressed my lips together and sat forward on Jax, trying to ignore all the little changes in Jaiel hinting he was not in fact ”fine.”