45. Kaiya
Faera led the way down a steep set of stairs, lit only by the single flickering torch in her hand.
It was nothing like Ellingsworth”s basement of stone, chains, and horrors — but my mind obviously didn”t understand that.
My heart sped up and my vision narrowed as images of that dark night flickered through my mind — Aunt Grace, pale, and limp … Eli, dead in my arms … Lynk, staring at me with those hard, silver eyes.
No!I couldn”t go back there. Not again!
A warm hand pressed into my back. ”It”s okay, Princess,” Jaiel”s voice was soft in my ear. ”Just breathe.”
As he spoke, the knot in my stomach loosened enough for me to catch my breath, and I inhaled sharply, pushing away the images.
Fuck. I hadn”t had an attack like that in over a year. Perhaps I wasn”t as over Gleyma as I”d thought.
Gritting my teeth, I let Jaiel lead me down the rest of the stairs, trying to keep those memories at bay.
I hated needing to rely on him, but it was better than another attack.
At the bottom of the stairs, Faera touched her small torch out to another, and the golden glow spread through the passage, illuminating a slim hallway lined in plush carpet.
My shoulders relaxed, and I looked around, letting out a long sigh as my mind finally accepted this was not, in fact, Lord Ellingsworth”s dungeon.
Cheerily decorated doors stretched along both sides of the hall, and as Faera lit more lights, the oppressive darkness gave way to what I might have otherwise mistaken for a hallway in a luxury hotel in the Capital.
”Welcome to where we send outsiders … the guest chambers,” the woman said, lips quirked smugly. ”Please make yourselves at home. At the moment, all these rooms are empty.”
Jaiel”s hand dropped from my back, and I ignored the brief pang of loss at its absence.
”Thank you, Faera,” he said, offering her his famous smile as he dipped his head in a charming mini-bow. ”Your hospitality is much appreciated.”
She dipped her chin in return, cheeks slightly pink. ”The banquet begins at 6pm, sharp,” she said, offering him a slight smile. ”If you want alcohol, you”ll need to be there promptly. Our pack goes through the ale rather quickly. After the party gets fully underway, Alpha Blackwood should have time to discuss your mate bond, Kaiya.”
I nodded, but my mind was on the way she kept looking through her lashes at Jaiel. It was just …
Fuck! Was I jealous?
No. There was no way. Who Jaiel flirted with had no bearing on me. In fact, if he fucked her, it would take the burden of refilling his charisma off me. And that would be a relief!
”Until then,” she said, cocking a brow at me and shaking her head. ”You both need to remain down here. For your safety.”
Jaiel and I both nodded, and with one more smile directed at him, she turned and strode up the stairs, hips swaying with each step.
Another pang shot through my chest, and I furiously pushed it away. Jaiel could do what he wanted.
”Well,” he cleared his throat. ”I suppose if we”re going to be stuck somewhere again, at least this place is nicely furnished.”
”Indeed,” I said. ”And the people are nice. Especially that Faera woman.”
Jaiel grunted noncommittally and strode over to a tall painting of a fantastical, mountaintop city, tilting his head to get a better look.
I cleared my throat and tried again, trying to smother the burning feeling growing in my chest. ”You know, if you”re still low on charisma, you may want to pursue her. She certainly seemed into you.”
He straightened, then turned toward me, lips curled in a grin. ”You needn”t be jealous, Princess. I”m more than satisfied at the moment.”
”Jeal — Jealous?” I stammered. ”I”m not jealous.” Liar. ”Not at all. I mean, what we did was just some meaningless fun. I really just did it to get the mission back on track.”
He frowned, some emotion hiding behind those blue eyes as he stepped closer.
”Really?” he asked. ”You did it for the mission and nothing more?”
His gaze bore into me, seeming to search for something.
I wasn”t sure what to say. The mission was vital. Ridding the world of relics had been my sole purpose for the past two years.
But I couldn”t deny that some part of me screamed that perhaps he meant something to me, as well.
Hells if I could tell him that, though!
He was Prince Jaiel Kierstall for fuck”s sake — known for fucking anyone — a self-absorbed Fae with loyalty to none …
So, I just nodded, heart twisting painfully against my ribs.
Jaiel”s jaw tensed, and for a moment, I worried his feelings might be hurt. But, in true Jaiel fashion, he grinned and let out a long sigh.
”Thank the gods!” he said, stepping away. ”For a moment there, I got a bit worried. Sometimes my lovers get clingy. But you get it.” Something shifted behind his eyes, and he tilted his head toward me conspiratorially. ”Since we”re on the same page, perhaps we should pick up where we left off last night, though? I could use a good fuck, and you filled my charisma better than anyone has in months …”
”Afraid not,” I said, ignoring the charisma still burning in my chest, begging me to agree to his suggestion. ”I don”t bed the same person twice.”
”Never?” he asked.
”Never,” I lied. ”Now, if you”ll excuse me,” I turned to the nearest door. ”I”d like to wash up and figure out the next steps for our mission.”
”Wait, what?” he asked, frowning. ”What mission? You heard what Korym said. Lady Frexin replaced us.”
I looked over my shoulder at him and arched a brow. ”And you really think we can trust what that man says? Who”s to say he isn”t lying?”
”What reason could he possibly have to lie? Besides, wouldn”t it be nice to stay here for a while? Help Tye. Go back to Liam. You know, enjoy life for a minute.”
Stay here!?I shook my head and turned back to face him.
The idea of sitting around while some other team was potentially killed, and a twisted relic ran free made me physically ill.
”If you want to do that, I won”t stop you. Your obligation to this mission was over the second he told us she”d sent another team. But I can”t do the same.”
”Can”t?” he asked, voice low. ”Or won”t?”
I gritted my teeth and met his flashing gaze. ”Both! You haven”t seen what those relics can do, Jaiel!”
Memories of Karemi flashed through my mind — parents killing kids, spouses killing each other, friends — all because of that damn relic.
”I can”t just risk it on the word of an untrustworthy mage OR the skill of an unknown team. This is what I was born to do!”
His jaw clenched, and he stepped closer, dark hair falling forward as he closed the gap between us.
I had to look up to meet his gaze as something shifted in those blue depths.
”Is it, though?”
His hand lifted and gently tucked some hair that had come loose behind my ear.
I nodded, but my heart slammed against my ribs and my tongue felt inordinately heavy, as my core tightened, and I had to resist the urge to lean into him.
Memories of the way those fingers felt inside me made my breath skip.
His lips quirked at the corner, and he shook his head softly, gripping my chin.
”You are more than your fucking job, Princess. You”re brave. You”re kind. And you make my world a better place by being a part of it. That anyone has convinced you otherwise makes me sick.”
Eyes burning, I stared up at him, at the openness and warmth in those blue eyes.
No. I couldn”t let his words affect me.
He only said them because he hadn”t been there. He didn”t get to Gleyma until after everything was in motion. And he”d only heard the public story about Karemi. If he saw what I had in that desert town, he”d understand.
I had to do this. If I didn”t, people would die.
But he was right in one way … I”d broken Frexin”s cardinal rule, and the damn Fae prince had become a distraction. One I couldn”t ignore any longer.
Knowing what I had to do, I slammed a lid onto my emotions and forced my face to go blank, ignoring the panicky feeling inside my chest at the thought of what I was about to do.
”You”re overreaching, Prince Kierstall,” I said, shoving him away. ”You aren”t my friend, my family, or even a lover … you”re just a hypocrite who likes to poke your nose into other people”s business while hiding behind a wall so thick even a dragon couldn”t cross. And frankly, I”m tired of it. So, why don”t you do me a favor and point that meddlesome attention of yours somewhere else?”
His expression fell, then darkened, and I forced myself to watch, searing the moment to my mind.
I did this. His pain was my fault.
If I”d done as I was supposed to and kept the distance between us, he”d be fine right now and I wouldn”t have had to hurt him. Instead, I could practically see my words tearing him apart.
Forsaken hells!
”Excellent. I see you understand.” My chest ached at the look in his eyes. ”Now, if you”ll excuse me, I need to wash up before the festival tonight.”
Fists clenched at my side, I turned to my door.
He said nothing as I turned the knob and strode inside my room, but I could feel the pain in his stare.
Closing the door behind me, I strained to hold back tears as darkness pressed in around me.