1. Yelena

Chapter 1

Yelena

10 Years Old

I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from giggling and revealing my hiding spot. Through the bushes, I can see Val pacing around, trying to find me, but I chose a good spot this time, and I know I’m going to win this round of hide-and-seek.

When Luka runs over, my heart speeds up as my chances of winning start to slip away. If they team up, I don’t stand a chance. As if reading my mind, Val leans closer and whispers something to Luka. Our cousin nods his head, and then Val says, “I think I saw Yelena run over by the pool.”

Luka gives a soft laugh, and I swear I see him glance over at my hiding place before running off towards the farmhouse. Our families all came out to stay the weekend, and I’ve been looking forward to it all week. We’ve always had this place in the country, and I love coming out here. There’s so much room to run and play, and it means I get to spend three whole days with my favorite cousin, the one who’s circling around my hiding place right now.

“Where on earth could she be?” I hear Val mutter as he looks behind a tree and all the other silly places I used to hide when I was eight, but I’m ten now, and I know a thing or two about hiding. The bush I crawled into is perfect. I curl into myself even more, making myself as small as possible.

After several more minutes of searching, Val sighs and yells, “Okay, I give up. You win, Yelena.”

Thrilled with my victory, I stand up and let out a whoop of pure joy, flinging my arms up with a big smile on my face.

“I won!” I shout.

Val laughs and steps closer. “You did, myshka.”

I smile at the secret nickname he gave me, but my victory turns sour when he steps closer and says,“Oh no,” and points to the bush I’ve been submerged in for the past thirty minutes. “You’ve been sitting in poison ivy, Yel.”

“What?” I look around at my perfect hiding spot, only now noticing the three-leafed vine that’s running through it, surrounding me on all sides. My eyes dart back to Val, and I must look terrified because he gives me one of his reassuring smiles and reaches out to take my hand. I start to pull back, not wanting him to get poison ivy, too, but he just smiles even bigger and grabs my hand. I’m expecting him to pull me out, but instead he keeps my hand in his and steps into the bush with me.

“What are you doing?”

He laughs at my worried reaction and gently scoots me out of the bush and safely away from the toxic plant before sitting down right where I’d been hiding. I can no longer see him, but his voice comes through steady and strong when he says, “I’m not letting you suffer through poison ivy alone, myshka.”

I stand there, stunned and in awe of my older cousin. Val’s always been my not-so-secret favorite. I love all of my cousins, but Val is always the one I’m going to run to first. After he’s confident that he’ll be getting a rash soon, he stands back up and takes my hand again, leading me back out of the woods. When we’re in view of the house, he gives my hand one last squeeze and then lets it drop. Neither one of us ever talks about not showing too much affection in front of the others. It’s just something we’ve silently agreed upon. I’m not entirely sure why we both feel the need to protect what’s ours, but we do, and it’s not something that I’m willing to risk. The last thing I want is to be separated from Val.

When I see my dad on the back deck with my uncles, I run up to him. He immediately knows something is wrong when I don’t jump into his waiting arms like I always do. He squats down, running his dark eyes over me to check for injuries. My dad is covered in tattoos and scars and his voice is deeper than everyone else’s because he was in a fire when he was younger. One of the girls in my class saw him picking me up from school one day, and she said she thought he looked scary, but I don’t see it. My dad’s never looked scary to me. He’s always made me feel safe, and I barely notice the scars.

“What’s wrong?”

He’s wearing his worried face, so I smile and say, “Val and I got into poison ivy.”

“Oh no,” I hear my Uncle Vitaly groan. Val’s dad looks down at us and shakes his head, but I know he’s not really mad because he’s trying to hide a smile. “Did anyone else get into it, or just you two?”

“Just us,” Val says.

“Thank god,” my Uncle Lev says. He gives me a wink. “Your Aunt Jolene will kill me if I go inside and say all three of our kids have poison ivy. I’m on babysitting duty,” he reminds me.

“No, it’s just our little troublemakers,” Uncle Vitaly says. “Okay, you two, let’s see if we can handle this without spreading it to the entire family.”

“This should be fun,” my dad says with a laugh.

“We need to wash their clothes,” my Uncle Danil says. “And wash your hands after you touch them because the oil is going to be all over them. Also, they need to shower, and if they’re going to get a rash, it’ll probably show up in the next few hours.”

Uncle Vitaly rolls his eyes at us and gives a soft laugh. “Your Uncle Danil is a know-it-all.”

Val and I laugh while Uncle Danil holds up his phone. “No, I just know how to Google.” He looks down at me and smiles. “Feel free to give your Uncle Vitaly a big hug before you get cleaned up. I think a nice case of poison ivy might do him good.”

Uncle Vitaly points a finger at me and laughs. “Don’t you dare, kiddo.”

I smile up at him, because he knows I’d never do something like that. I feel bad enough that Val’s going to be suffering with me. When we walk inside, our moms see us and quickly look to our dads.

“Don’t give me that look, ptichka,” my Uncle Vitaly says to my Aunt Katya. “This was all them. They decided to hide in a pile of poison ivy during hide-and-seek.”

“How on earth did that happen?” She comes closer and examines Val’s face and arms. “You know what poison ivy looks like, Val.”

Val shrugs, refusing to admit it was all me. “I guess I just missed it, Mom.”

“You two need a good scrub,” my mom says. She looks at my dad, her eyes lighting up the same way they always do when she looks at him. “I’ll take her to the bathroom in our room. Can you bring us a new outfit?”

“Of course, malishka,” my dad says, stepping closer to give her a quick kiss before giving me a smile. “Lucky for you, I brought a big bottle of calamine lotion. If you do get a rash, we can slather it on and make you look like a pink monster.”

I laugh and follow my mom to the bathroom while Val is led to one of the others. He gives me one last quick smile before disappearing around the corner.

“Come on, honey. We need to hurry.” My mom ushers me into the bathroom and starts the shower. “Okay, toss your clothes in a pile and start scrubbing.”

I laugh when she uses two fingers to pick up my clothes as I shed them. She holds them out in front of her like they’re poisonous while I jump in the shower and start lathering up. I hear a knock at the door, and it must be my dad, because my mom says, “Yelena, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna help your dad with your clothes. Keep scrubbing until I get back.”

“Okay,” I holler above the sound of the water. Squirting out even more of my favorite strawberry-scented body wash, I scrub myself from top to bottom, convinced that it’ll wash the poison ivy right off me.

Less than three hours later, reality hits me hard. First, it’s my arms. An insatiable, under-the-skin kind of itch starts to work its way up my body, and when I start to scratch, my dad reaches over and grabs my hand.

“No, baby, don’t scratch. It’ll just make it worse.”

“But, Dad,” I start to complain, but he just shakes his head, refusing to let me claw at myself. When my legs join in and every part of my body screams at me for relief, my eyes grow teary and my throat tightens. My dad sees it, and he quickly picks me up and puts me in his lap.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. You know it breaks my heart when you do that.”

The rough voice and Russian words are so familiar to me, and even though every part of me still itches, a bigger part of me instantly calms at hearing it.

“You’re not supposed to touch me,” I whisper.

He gives a soft laugh and keeps stroking my hair and patting my back. “Nothing is going to keep me from my daughter. Besides, your Uncle Danil swears it’s not contagious. As long as I didn’t get the oil on me from your clothes, I’ll be fine.”

I nod and rest my head against his shoulder, trying my best to not scratch at the rash that’s in full bloom on my arms and legs now. I’ve just convinced myself that there’s no way I can do it when Val walks in. He’s covered in pink spots, and for a few precious minutes I forget about how itchy I am because I’m laughing too hard to notice it. His dark hair is messy like he just ran a hand through it, and his blue eyes are lit up with amusement.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing. You’re about to be covered in it too.”

He hands the bottle and a bag of cotton balls to my dad as I crawl off his lap and look over at Val. “Does it really help?”

“It does,” Val promises. “It at least makes it bearable, and I brought a surprise.” He runs off and comes back holding Monopoly. “We’re going to play this with the others.”

I look over, but no one else followed him in. “Where are they?”

“Getting us ice cream,” Val says before dropping onto the floor and opening the game.

“Okay, honey, let’s get this on you.” I turn back to my dad, who’s now holding a cotton ball dipped in the pink medicine. He sees my hesitation and says, “Once it dries, I’ll let you wear one of my hoodies.”

I smile up at him and nod. I love wearing my dad’s hoodies. They’re huge and comfortable and make me feel safe. I hold out my arms so he can get to work. By the time our cousins come walking in, I’m covered in pink splotches of lotion. Sveta laughs, and then tries to cheer me up by handing me a bowl of ice cream.

“I put in extra sprinkles and added a ton of chocolate syrup,” she says with a big grin.

“Thanks, Sveta.” I grab the bowl and take a bite while I wait for the lotion to dry.

Natalya gives me a sympathetic smile and says, “Does it hurt?”

“No,” I tell her, “it just itches like crazy.”

“Well, a Monopoly marathon will make you forget all about that,” Luka says, sitting down and helping Val get the board set up.

“Yeah, getting poison ivy means you both lost the hide-and-seek game,” Max says, “so let’s see if you can win at this instead.”

I smile at my cousins, knowing they’re trying to cheer us up. The rest of my aunts and uncles come in, bringing along some easier board games for the younger cousins. When my younger brother comes in with Nikita, he walks over to get a closer look at my rash. He’s two years younger than me, and I don’t want him to worry, so I quickly say, “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Evgeny bites his bottom lip, trying to decide if he believes me. Before he’s made a decision, our dad walks over and ruffles my brother’s hair.

“She’ll be okay,” our dad says. “As long as she doesn’t scratch, it should go away in a couple of weeks.”

“A couple of weeks?” I ask the question, but Val is right behind me with an “Are you serious, Uncle Matvey?”

I look over at Val, knowing there’s no way I can endure this kind of itching for that long. Even though I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing, he smiles and says, “We’ll play lots of games of Monopoly and have video game tournaments.”

“And I’ll scoop out tons of ice cream,” Sveta says, already halfway done with her own bowl.

“Our daughter is so sweet,” my Uncle Vitaly says while wrapping an arm around my aunt. She laughs and kisses his cheek. I’m used to my family being affectionate. My aunts and uncles are always touching and hugging or sneaking a kiss, and my parents are just as bad. When I look up, my dad is wrapping his arms around my mom as she laughs and kisses him. We’ve always been surrounded by love. I always assumed that’s how it is for everyone.

“Dad, your hoodie,” I remind him.

He gives my mom another kiss before reaching down to pick me up. I laugh and then quickly hand my bowl to my mom so I don’t spill it.

“Okay, munchkin, let’s go find you one.”

I use what he calls my spider monkey skills and crawl around until he’s giving me a piggyback ride down the hall. Finn joins us on the way. My dad reaches down and pets the German Shepherd’s head as he trots along beside us.

Setting me down in their room, he waves a hand at the closet. “Take your pick. I only packed a couple, but I think your favorite is in there.”

I run over and quickly grab the red one. He laughs when he sees it and helps me put it on. It hangs down past my knees, and when he pulls the hood up, I feel like I’m completely cocooned. I laugh when he scoops me up to bring me back into the living room with the others. He drops me off next to Val, and I smile at my cousin when I see that he’s saved me a seat next to him. He’s also guarding my bowl of ice cream so Sveta can’t eat it.

“Have fun, sweetheart,” my dad says, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, Dad.”

He kisses my head and tells me he loves me before sitting down and pulling my mom into his lap so they can both watch the Monopoly tournament. Val hands me the little dog figurine.

“I saved it for you.” He grins and holds up the car that he’s playing and then sets it down right next to my dog.

“Thanks, Val.”

Sitting back, I eat my ice cream and settle in for a long night of gaming. Even though everything is starting to itch again, it’s easy to ignore it when I’m with my family. I look around the room at everyone I love, knowing I’ll never want anything other than this.

Present Day

With a pained groan, I lift my head, hoping like hell I won’t get sick again. For the last week, I’ve been making a mad dash to the toilet every morning, and today was another close call. Sitting on my heels, I rest a hand on my stomach, amazed that something so minuscule can so royally screw with my body.

“Go easy on me baby, okay?” I whisper, and even though I feel like shit, I still can’t help but smile when I think about our baby. I may be terrified and unprepared, but this is a piece of Val, it’s a piece of us , and I could never be upset about that.

As if sensing that I’m thinking about him, I hear my phone give a soft ding from where I’d left it on my nightstand. When I’m sure I’m not going to be sick again, I brush my teeth and go to check the message that I know is from Val.

Val:

You okay this morning? How bad is it?

Me:

I’m starting to feel better.

Val:

I should be there with you. I should be there to help you. I’m missing everything, and I hate it.

Me:

You’re only missing me getting sick.

Val:

And I hate it. I want to be there for every second of this. It’s killing me to be separated from you.

After a few seconds, his next text comes in.

Val:

Let me come get you, myshka. Let me take care of you.

My heart breaks when I read his words. I know how much it’s killing him to not be here, to not be able to take care of me, and to have this separation between us, but as much as I hate it, the thought of telling my parents makes me feel like I need to run back into the bathroom and get sick again.

Me:

Soon, Val. I promise. I just need more time.

Val:

I’ll give you anything you need, Yel, but we need to tell them soon. Our baby isn’t going to stop growing. It’ll be better if they hear it from us instead of accidentally finding out.

Me:

I know. I’m sorry.

I’m not at all surprised when my phone rings. As soon as I answer, he says, “You don’t ever need to apologize to me, baby. I know you’re scared, and I hate that you are. I wish I could take it from you.”

“I know you do.” I lie on my bed and grab the stuffed dog I’ve had since I was a kid. Hugging it against my chest, I say, “We can tell them soon. Just a little bit longer, okay?”

He lets out a soft sigh, but I know he’s not irritated with me. Val never gets upset with me. I can’t remember a single time when he’s raised his voice or given me an angry, pissed-off look. That’s just not who he is, at least not with me. I know he helps run our family’s Bratva, but I still have a hard time picturing him doing it. I can’t imagine him hurting anyone. He’s always been so gentle with me.

“Of course,” he finally says. “We can wait a little bit longer, myshka , but I want you to spend the weekend with me at Max’s. I miss you. It’s been too long since I’ve gotten to fall asleep holding you.”

I smile and ask. “How can you be so sweet, Val?”

I hear the soft laugh he gives before his familiar, deep voice says, “You make it easy, myshka . How could I ever be anything but sweet with you?”

“I love you, Valentin Melnikov.” I whisper the words and snuggle deeper under the covers.

“I love you, Yelena Melnikov,” he whispers back, making me smile even bigger. “And I’m going to marry you and we’re going to have a baby.”

Resting a hand on my stomach, I say, “We are, and I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Maybe I can convince you to elope this weekend.” He lets out a soft laugh, but I know he’s only half joking.

“Good luck with that,” I tell him.

“You know how convincing I can be, Yel.” His deep voice is a purr in my ear, and when my breath hitches, he hears it and lets out another sexy laugh.

“I know exactly how convincing you can be,” I say, remembering all the times he’s convinced me to do the craziest things in the absolute worst locations.

“Which time are you thinking about?”

I laugh and say, “The time we were all at the farmhouse and you and I were on laundry duty together and you decided you were hungry.”

“I was hungry, myshka , and you were fucking delicious.”

My face heats up at the memory as an ache starts to grow between my legs. “We almost got caught,” I remind him.

“But we didn’t,” he reminds me. “I would never let that happen.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” I roll onto my back and ask, “So what do you have planned today?”

“Luka and I have some things to do.”

I know that’s all I’m going to get out of him. He never tells me details about what he does, and I’m not so sure I want to know them anyway.

“What about you?”

“Once I’m sure the morning sickness is completely gone for today, I might see if your sister wants some company for the afternoon.”

“Sveta would love that. Vitya’s been driving her crazy and insisting she take it easy. Plus, I’m sure she’d love the help with Samantha. She sent me a video last night, and my little niece might be the fastest crawler I’ve ever seen.”

I laugh at the image. “Perfect. I can babysit, and Sveta can squeeze in a nap.”

“Don’t wear yourself out. You’re pregnant too, baby.”

“I won’t,” I promise him.

“And text me to let me know who’s driving you.”

“I will. Don’t you ever get tired of worrying about me?”

I smile at the sound of his soft laugh. “Never, myshka. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t worried about you. It’s as natural to me as breathing at this point.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a privilege to worry about you. It means you’re mine, Yel.”

“Are you sure you work for our family?” I ask, still unable to picture the man I love as being anything other than a giant softie.

“Hard to believe, I know, but I do.” He sighs before saying, “I need to get going so I can pick up Luka. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. The nausea’s gone away.”

“Don’t forget to text me, and tell Sveta I’ll come by later to see them.”

“I will.”

He tells me he loves me again before he has no choice but to end the call. I lie in bed for another several minutes after we’ve hung up. I’m tired and my boobs hurt and all I want to do is go back to sleep, but I don’t feel like lying to my family yet again, so I force myself out of bed and into the shower. I almost feel human again by the time I step out. Even though my best guess puts me at about a month pregnant, I still stop in front of the mirror, searching for signs on my body. My breasts were never big to begin with, but they’re tender now, and I swear they’ve gotten a little fuller. Other than that, I can’t tell a difference. Val’s right, though, I can’t hide this forever. I’m built like my mom—slender and on the short side. A baby bump is going to show.

Throwing on a sweatshirt and some jeans, I leave my room and head into the kitchen. Everyone else is already up, and I’m not surprised to find my mom finishing up with breakfast while my dad leans against the counter, drinking his coffee and handing her things as she needs them.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” my dad says when I walk in, and when I come around the island, he pulls me in for a hug and kisses the top of my head.

“Morning, Dad,” I tell him, returning his hug before I turn around and hug my mom.

She smiles and kisses my cheek. “I made your favorite.”

I look at the hash browns and scrambled eggs and try very hard to look happy instead of queasy. “Thanks, Mom. It looks great.”

When I walk to the fridge for some orange juice, my younger brother walks in and plops his backpack on the counter as he sinks into one of the barstools. He’s a senior this year, almost eighteen, and more than ready to be done with it and move on. His eyes land on mine, and I see the confusion in them before he looks away to say something to our dad. It’s obvious there’s something on his mind, but he’s unwilling to say it in front of our parents.

Rasputin walks in and nudges me with his shoulder. When I laugh and reach down to pet him, he gives a soft whine. I can’t resist those sweet amber eyes of his, and when I grab a dog bone, my dad laughs and says, “He’s got you trained.”

“He does,” I agree, giving him the milk bone so he can run off to eat it. “Raspy’s a good boy, though. He deserves all the treats.”

“He does,” my mom agrees.

My dad smiles at her before leaning down to kiss her. “Let me finish, malishka. Get yourself some more coffee while I serve all this up.”

She grins up at him. “Deal.”

I take the barstool next to Evgeny while my dad fills our plates. Forcing myself to not look at the puddle of grease on the plate my dad offers, I smile and set it down in front of me. My brother starts devouring his breakfast while I pick at mine, moving it around on my plate without actually eating a single bite. When our parents aren’t looking, I lift my plate and dump most of it onto my brother’s. He raises a brow at me, but I give him a please don’t say anything look. Evgeny and I have always been close, so I’m not at all surprised when he stays quiet. Instead of questions, he gives me a look that makes it clear we’ll be talking about this later, and then he eats the evidence before our parents can realize that I’m skipping out on breakfast.

I manage a couple of bites while I tell them about my plans to go and see Sveta, and when my dad offers to drop me off after he takes Evgeny to school, I agree and toss the last of my breakfast in the garbage so I can run and get ready.

My brother goes to the same private high school we all went to, and he can’t wait to graduate and leave it behind. It’s the kind of place that doesn’t bat an eye at having bodyguards as long as they stay outside the property line, but it also means it’s filled with some of the most stuck-up rich kids our city has to offer. My cousins and I grew up around money, but our parents didn’t, and there’s no way in hell they would’ve allowed us to grow up to be spoiled brats. Unsurprisingly, I never fit in at school, and if it wasn’t for Val and the rest of our cousins, I never would’ve been able to stick it out. We watched out for one another, just like we always have, and now Evgeny, Mia, and Niki are the last ones left, and they’re all dying to graduate.

“Just a few more months,” I remind my younger brother when he sighs and looks out the window at the imposing property that’s more like a small college than a high school.

“It can’t come soon enough,” he mutters, grabbing his backpack and opening the door.

“Aleksandr’s on duty today,” my dad tells him.

“How fun for him,” Evgeny says. “The only thing worse than going to high school is being forced to patrol at one.”

“It’s his job,” our dad says, “and he’s paid very well to do it.” He squeezes my brother’s shoulder. “Try and have a good day, Son.”

Evgeny laughs. “Yeah, that algebra test I have is going to be a blast, and I’m sure all the math I’ve been forced to learn is really going to come in handy one day.”

“You never know,” my dad says.

Evgeny turns his head, and I can see the amusement in his blue-green eyes when he asks, “You use a lot of algebra in your line of work, Dad?”

Our dad laughs and lightly smacks Evgeny’s shoulder. “Don’t be an ass. Go ace your test so you can graduate and get the hell out of here.”

Evgeny laughs and tells us both bye before getting out and walking inside. I jump out and get into the passenger seat of the black Camaro, and once I’m buckled in, my dad pulls out and heads in the direction of Val’s apartment building. Sveta and Vitya live in the same building as her family, and after adopting Samantha and finding out Sveta’s pregnant, it’s worked out perfectly for them. Her parents are right above them, eager to help out and babysit anytime they need it. I’m so happy for my cousin, but I’m also envious. She’s living my dream. She’s married to the man she loves, happily pregnant, and surrounded by her family. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

“You feeling okay?”

My dad’s question pulls me away from my thoughts as I look over at him and say, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He glances over at me before making a left turn. “You gave your breakfast to Evgeny, and you look a little pale.”

My stomach drops at his words. “How did you see that?”

At the next red light, he turns to look at me, a soft smile playing at his lips. “You had a plate full of food, and when I turned back around it was almost empty while Evgeny’s was mysteriously full again. What’s going on?”

I try to appear relaxed while my heart races in my chest and my palms grow sweaty. I hate lying to my dad. If I wasn’t so terrified of disappointing him, I’d tell him the truth right here and now just to avoid having to lie to him again, but when I think about watching his face turn angry, all of that hurt and pain aimed at me, I can’t do it. I crumble and instead say, “I’m just not feeling all that great today, and I didn’t want to hurt mom’s feelings by not eating.” I add in a small laugh to try and make it believable. “Plus, I knew Ev was good for it. He probably could’ve gone through a third plate if there’d been any leftovers.”

My dad laughs and nods in agreement. “He’s definitely hit a growth spurt. He’s going to be taller than me in a few months, I think.”

He’s quiet until we pull into the underground garage for my uncle’s building. I’ve been here so many times that it feels like home. Sveta’s always been one of my best friends, so it worked out perfectly that she also happens to be the twin of the man I love. Spending the night with her meant I also got to spend the night with Val. I feel my cheeks heat up when I think about all the things we’ve gotten up to while everyone else was asleep.

“It’s good to see you getting some color back,” my dad says. “You were looking too pale this morning.”

“I’m fine, Dad,” I tell him. I don’t want him worrying, but I also don’t want him to know that my reddened cheeks aren’t from a healthy glow but instead from thinking sexy thoughts about my cousin.

He pats my hand before opening his door. “I’ll ride the elevator with you. I told your uncle I’d pick him up today.”

Once we’re inside and the doors shut, my dad leans against the wall and checks his phone. “How long are you staying with Sveta?”

“I’m not sure yet. Probably not too late.”

His dark eyes meet mine as he forces the elevator to stop on the floor right below the penthouse my aunt and uncle live in. “Make sure you call someone to come get you,” he reminds me.

“As if I could ever forget.”

He smiles and gives me a hug while kissing my head. “I love you, kiddo. Have fun today.”

“I will, Dad. I love you too.”

When the doors open, I head down the hall, not at all surprised when I look back to see him waiting with his hand against the side, refusing to let the elevator doors shut until he sees me disappear into Sveta’s apartment.

I knock on her door, and give him a wave when she opens it and I step inside.

“How are you feeling?” Sveta asks before I’ve even taken my jacket off. One hand rests on the baby bump that, I swear, grows daily, and today she’s thrown her brown hair into a sloppy ponytail that still manages to look cute on her. Unlike Val’s blue eyes, hers are the same whiskey brown as my Uncle Vitaly’s, and her grin is just as wickedly playful. Pregnancy suits her, and I know Vitya would agree wholeheartedly with me on that one.

“I’m doing better now, but this morning was awful,” I tell her, hanging my coat up and following her into the kitchen. I can’t help but laugh when she opens the fridge and I see all the organic yogurts mixed in with the pudding cups. “I see Vitya hasn’t completely tamed your wild ways.”

She laughs and grabs a pudding cup. When she offers me one, I decline with a shake of my head and then watch her grab a spoon and dig in.

“He’s trying,” she admits. “But I think at this point it’s more me corrupting him than him changing me. I caught him eating a cupcake last night.”

The gleeful smile she gives has me laughing because I recognize it all too well. No one really corrupts Sveta. She’s usually the one doing the corrupting like a cute little devil on your shoulder that’s impossible to resist.

I look around for my niece, but before I can ask, Sveta says, “She should be waking up any minute. I’ll warn you, she’s going to be raring to go when she opens her eyes. She’s a little bundle of energy lately.”

I laugh at the image and grab a bottle of water before following Sveta to the living room. Aside from Val, my cousins feel like brothers and sisters more than anything else, so we’re all aunts and uncles to everyone’s kids.

Sveta sinks into the couch and props her feet on the ottoman while patting the cushion for me to join her. “So how are you really doing?”

I sit next to her, hiking my feet up beside hers and tell her the truth. “I’m kind of miserable. I’m sick every morning, I’m scared to death about how my mom and dad are going to react, and I miss your brother so much it hurts.”

She rests her head on my shoulder and pats my leg. “He’s so worried about you. He came over the other night, and it took both me and Vitya to convince him that going to your place and declaring his love for you right before he carried you out of there was probably not the best course of action.”

“Oh god, that would’ve been awful,” I groan, picturing my parents’ reactions. “I know we have to tell them soon, but I’m just not ready yet.”

Sveta squeezes my hand. “Vitya and I will be right there with you when you decide you’re ready.” With her head resting back on the cushion, she turns to face me. “Don’t wait too long, though. You’re going to start showing soon.”

“I know. Val and I have already talked about that. He wants me to stay with him this weekend at Max’s.”

“Good. Maybe you two can figure out a plan while you’re there.”

“Hopefully,” I agree, but before I can say more, Samantha’s cute voice echos through the baby monitor. It’s a mix of mamas and dadas and raspberries being blown, and it’s downright adorable.

Sveta laughs. “I guess someone woke up.”

“Let me get her,” I say, already standing and heading for the hall, eager to get my hands on my cute little niece. Vitya had found Samantha when she was half-starved and barely alive. He’d been doing work for the Bratva, and the last thing he was expecting was to find a baby during their assignment, but once he’d seen her, he’d been unable to let her go. Sveta became just as attached to her, and they’ve been a family ever since. I completely understand their attachment to the adorable little girl, and when I walk into her nursery and see her playing with her toes with a big smile on her face, I know I would’ve done the same exact thing if I’d found her.

She lets out a happy squeal when she sees me. Reaching her arms out to be held, I scoop her up and cover her face in kisses before doing a quick diaper change. I swear my heart grows a few sizes when I hold her against my chest and breathe in the sweet scent of her. I’ve always loved babies, and I’ve always wanted a houseful of them. Being pregnant has only intensified that desire.

Carrying her into the living room, she yells a loud “Mama” as soon as she sees Sveta. My cousin laughs and pulls Samantha in for a hug as soon as we’re close enough.

“How’s my sweet girl?” Sveta asks. “Did you sleep good?”

Samantha babbles a string of nonsense and then blows another raspberry.

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Sveta says with a laugh. When Samantha starts wriggling around, Sveta sets her on the rug, and I laugh when she immediately starts crawling towards her pile of toys.

“She’s getting really good at that,” I say, sitting on the floor next to her while she grabs one of her stuffed toys and brings it to her mouth.

“She has,” Sveta agrees. “We ordered a huge baby gate so we can set it up in here and keep her contained in one room. She’s too fast for me, and chasing her all over the apartment wears me out and makes Vitya nervous. He’s afraid one of us will get hurt.”

“That doesn’t surprise me at all. He’s always been very protective of you.”

Sveta snorts out a laugh. “That’s the understatement of the year.” When we hear the door open, Sveta tilts her head back, smiling when she sees Vitya walk in. “Well, speak of the devil.”

Vitya laughs and walks into the living room. “Hey, Yelena,” he tells me before leaning down and kissing his wife. “The devil, pcholka ? That’s not very nice.” He reaches a hand down to rest on her pregnant stomach and kisses her again.

“I was just telling Yelena that we’re getting a baby gate because our daughter is a speed demon and you worry about me chasing after her.”

“A devil and a demon? Someone’s feeling extra feisty today.”

“Let’s blame it on the pregnancy hormones,” Sveta says, patting the hand that’s still resting on her stomach.

He looks over at me and smiles. “Everything is getting blamed on the pregnancy hormones. I’m planning on keeping her pregnant nonstop just so she’ll always be able to use her favorite excuse.”

I laugh at the look Sveta gives him, but before she can say anything, Samantha shouts, “Dada,” and gets on all fours again, barreling towards him like a baby on a mission. Vitya laughs and steps around the couch so he can pick her up. She squeals and laughs when he lifts her high and then kisses her.

A pang of jealousy hits me at watching their family. I want this so badly. I want the shared home, the open relationship, and I want to see Val spoiling and loving our kids. Along with the jealousy comes a nice helping of irritation at myself, because I’m the one keeping us from having this right now. I’m going to need to find my courage fast, because I’m not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

After a lunch that Vitya insists on cooking for us and a few more hours of playing with Samantha and visiting with Sveta, I send a text to Val to let him know I’m about to leave.

Val:

Luka and I just finished up. I can be there in twenty.

I tell him thanks, not at all surprised that he wants to be the one to drive me home. There are several men in the Bratva who juggle bodyguard duty, depending on who needs watched and where they’re going to be, but Val has watched over me more than anyone else. I don’t need a bodyguard as long as I’m with him, and that’s always worked out very well for us.

“Your brother’s coming to get me,” I tell Sveta.

She grins over at me. “Of course he is.”

“This was all a lot easier when we were younger.”

She laughs and looks over at Vitya. “She means it was easier when we all spent the weekends at the farmhouse. Val and Yelena would run off together all the time. Na?ve, sweet girl that I was, I just assumed they liked hanging out together.”

Vitya laughs. “That sounds exactly like you.”

Sveta smiles over at him. “I was too busy following all the rules. I’ve always said that Val’s the troublemaker.” Her smile grows even bigger before she adds, “I’m the good twin.”

Vitya and I share a laugh while Sveta ignores us and reaches for the plate of strawberries that Vitya gave her for dessert. They’re dipped in chocolate because it’s the only way he can get her to eat them, but even though they’re covered in sugar, he still gives her a wink when she finishes off one and reaches for another.

When there’s a knock at the door, I tell them I’ll get it. Checking the security camera, I make sure it’s Val before opening the door. As soon as he’s in view, I jump into his arms and bury my face in his neck. He hugs me in the way he knows I love—tightly with his body enveloping mine as much as possible and his mouth by my ear so he can whisper that he loves me. I keep squeezing him, never wanting to let him go, but eventually I force myself to take a step back. As soon as there’s space between us, I have the urge to erase it and step back into his strong arms. He sees the war going on inside me and hooks a finger under my chin, tilting my face to his as he steps closer, breaking the distance on his own so he can kiss me.

His lips chase away all my fears and worries. He cups the back of my head, deepening the kiss as I fist his shirt and pull him closer. I feel him smile before he gives my lip a soft teasing bite.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my lips. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay the night with me?”

I groan because I want that more than anything, but as tempting as it is, it’ll be less suspicious if we wait until the weekend. “Tomorrow,” I promise him. “We’ll have the whole weekend together.”

“But I want a lifetime,” he whispers.

“Soon, Val.”

He rests his forehead against mine and sighs. “Okay, myshka . I can wait until tomorrow, but we’re taking a detour before I drive you home today.”

I look up at him. “We are?”

He gives me a wink. “We are.”

Before I can ask any questions, he grabs my hand and leads me into the living room so he can say hi to everyone. I watch him scoop up his niece, smiling at how incredible he looks with a baby in his arms. He’s always been good with babies, and I have no doubt that he’ll be an amazing father. Valentin is the whole package, and I still can’t believe he’s mine. When I meet his blue eyes, he gives me another sexy wink that almost makes me let out an audible sigh at the way my heart skips a beat and warmth settles between my legs.

He gives a soft laugh, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me. I’ve never been very good at hiding my reactions from him. It’s a miracle I haven’t given away our secret yet. It always seems like it must be so obvious to everyone around us, but I think a combination of pure luck and massive assumptions on our parents’ part has worked to our benefit. I have a feeling hindsight is going to have them all kicking their asses at not noticing it sooner, though.

Val and I both give Samantha several goodbye kisses before I hug Sveta and Vitya and promise to visit them again soon. By the time we’re getting into Val’s car, I’m worn out and ready for a nap.

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet, myshka ,” he says, grabbing my hand as soon as we’re clear of the security cameras. “I’ve got plans for us.”

“What kind of plans?”

“The kind that involve you wet and squirming and coming all over me.”

“Jesus,” I whisper, shifting in my seat as my panties grow wet. Pregnancy hormones are no joke, and along with being nauseous and overly sentimental and exhausted, I’ve also discovered that my arousal has skyrocketed, and sometimes all it takes is a single look from Val before I’m practically salivating and jumping in his lap.

He rests his hand on my thigh, gently squeezing it and reminding me what all he can do with those hands. His long fingers caress my leg, making me think about all the times he’s made my body come undone with those beautiful hands. Over the years, Val has proven to be a very fast learner. My pleasure has always been more important to him than his own, and my body responds to him now just as easily as it did when we were teenagers. I was never able to resist him, not that I’d ever wanted to. I’ve only ever had eyes for him. It’s never once occurred to me to look at anyone else. The boys in school never tempted me. Hell, I barely noticed them, and Val’s never once looked at another woman.

It’s always been him and me. There was never a chance for anyone else to come into our hearts, because there was never any room for them. The love we feel for one another has always taken up all the space. Val’s a part of me, so deeply woven into who I am that there’s no separating us. He will always be mine, just like I will always be his.

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