16. Yelena
Chapter 16
Yelena
I ’m pulled from sleep before I want to be. My mind slowly starts to waken, but all I want is to slip back into oblivion. When I dream, it’s the only time I get to be with Val, and I’m in hurry to leave. I swear I can smell his scent around me and feel his warmth.
“ Myshka. ”
I hear the soft whisper in my ear, and it’s so real that tears come to my eyes before I’ve even opened them.
“Val,” I whisper into my pillow, trying so hard to get back to my dream, to get back to him , but I can’t, and with that realization comes another flood of tears. Instead of crying myself awake like I do every morning, though, I feel a strong arm wrap around me, and I hear his voice even stronger in my ear.
“Baby, I’m here. It’s okay, Yel. God, I’ve missed you so much.”
My eyes dart open, sleep forgotten in an instant as my heart races and I turn around to see for myself if this is really happening.
“Val?” I whisper the word on a shaky breath, willing this to be true, and when I get my first look at him, my mouth drops in horror at what’s been done to my beautiful, kind husband. He’s lost a lot of weight, and instead of the clean-shaven face I’m used to, there’s a light beard covering his face. One eye is dark and swollen shut, his nose is bruised with a deep cut running across the bridge of it, bruises and scrapes cover nearly every inch of him, and there’s a deep cut along his right cheek and one on his lip, but he’s still the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. I eye the IV bag he’s attached to, wondering just how badly he’s been hurt, but I take comfort in the fact that he’s here, walking around on his own. If it were life-threatening, no way in hell would Tony have let him out of bed.
I reach out to touch him, the caress is featherlight because I don’t want to hurt him, but just to be able to touch him again feels like the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. He leans into my touch, and I lose it. He pulls me in close, holding me while I sob and try to convince myself that this is really happening and that it’s not some dream I’m going to be forced to wake up from. He caresses my hair and kisses me, telling me over and over again that he loves me and he’s so sorry for putting me through this.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him, keeping my face buried in his neck. “You’re safe, and you’re here. That’s all that matters to me.”
Pulling back, I cup his bruised and swollen face and gently press my lips to his. It’s not deep and it’s not hard, just our lips pressing together, but it’s perfect, and it brings more tears to my eyes.
“I love you.” I murmur the words against his mouth. “I knew you’d come back to me, but I was so scared that you wouldn’t.”
“I love you too, Yel, and I was scared too. I felt so bad about leaving you that day, but I couldn’t leave Max like that. I just couldn’t do it.”
“I know. I’m not mad at you. I mean, I was angry at the time, but not at you. I know what kind of man I married, and he’s not one who would walk away and leave his cousin to die.”
I lift up and ask, “How did you escape? Is Max okay?”
I see the pain written all over him and it has nothing to do with his injuries. “Oh my god,” I whisper, feeling my chest ache. “Is he?”
I can’t finish the sentence, the thought of my cousin being dead is too much for me to voice, but Val quickly shakes his head.
“He’s alive, but he’s still there. They let me go as an incentive to get our family to agree to something.”
“Agree to what?”
He ignores my question and reaches out to stroke my face, a soft smile playing at his lips. “I thought of you every second, Yel. I was so worried about you. My dad told me about what happened.” His hand lowers, and when he feels the small swell of my stomach, the one that’s so tiny only he would notice, his lips part as he lets out a surprised breath. “Let me see.”
The heartbreak in his voice breaks my own heart as I lift my shirt and roll onto my back so he can see the changes he’s missed. His fingers graze my skin, memorizing the start of my pregnant belly.
“I can’t believe I missed it.”
“You’ve only missed a month. There’s still lots more to come,” I say. “There is something I want to show you, though.”
He waits while I reach in my nightstand and grab the photos and my phone.
“Here are the images from the ultrasound.”
Taking the photos, he stares in awe at the image of our baby. His thumb traces the line of the tiny head, the only easily recognizable body part.
“They’re so beautiful,” he whispers.
I smile and lean in closer. “You think? I think it looks a bit more like a blob than anything, but I’m confident they’ll end up as gorgeous as their daddy.”
“You mean as gorgeous as their mommy,” he corrects while I smile and pull up the recording.
“This is the heartbeat,” I say as I push play.
The sound of our baby’s rapid heartbeat fills the space around us, and Val’s smile is so big that I’m worried he’s going to split his lip back open.
“It sounds strong,” he whispers, the awe obvious in his voice as his hand goes back to rest on my stomach. Snuggling closer, I pull the blankets over us and rest my head on his shoulder.
“How badly are you hurt? Why are you still connected to an IV?”
His fingers run through my hair, and instead of answering me, he says, “I was devastated when I could no longer smell you on my shirt. I’d fall asleep at night with my nose buried in the fabric, trying like hell to get you as close to me as I could. I wanted to cry like a baby when it disappeared and I could no longer smell you. It was like I’d lost you all over again.”
“I’m so sorry, Val.” I grab the hand that’s connected to the IV and kiss it. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this and that I wasn’t there to help.”
“I’m so glad you weren’t there, Yel. I would never want you anywhere near that place. My one comfort was in knowing that you were safe and out of their reach.”
I rest my hand on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath my palm. “Am I hurting you by lying here?”
“It would hurt far worse if you weren’t.”
I lift my head and kiss his cheek. “I’m being serious. Are your ribs broken? You’re breathing different.”
The corner of his mouth lifts up. “I’m breathing different?”
“Yeah, you’re breathing shallow, like it hurts too much to take a deep breath.”
“I’m fine, myshka . Stop worrying.” He runs his thumb along my cheek before tapping my chin. “I missed the morning sickness phase, too, didn’t I?”
“You got to see some of it,” I remind him, “and I’m more than happy that it’s gone.”
“Who held your hair?”
“My mom, my dad, and sometimes my brother. I think they drew straws every night.”
“I’m sorry I missed it. I should’ve been here to take care of you.”
I kiss him again and then rest my head on the pillow next to him, not wanting to cause him any more pain than he’s already in. He turns on his side so we’re facing each other, and I hold his hand while I say, “Tell me everything that happened.”
His eyes run over my face, drinking in the sight of me just like I’m doing to him, both of us still unable to believe that he’s actually alive and here and in bed with me. When I’m convinced he’s not going to say anything, he starts talking. He tells me about being put on a plane and then waking up in a basement, about the way he and Max would ration their food and water, and about the girl who eventually joined them. My heart breaks for her and Max, and I can only hope that they can both hang on until we can rescue them.
Even though I know I’m getting a very condensed version of events, he’s still so exhausted by the time he’s done that he can’t keep his one good eye open. I flip around and scoot in closer so he’s spooning me. He buries his nose in my hair and sighs.
“I know you just woke up, but will you stay here with me while I sleep?”
“Nothing could get me to leave this bed right now,” I tell him, wrapping my hand around his and hugging his arm. “Sleep as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
Val’s asleep in seconds, but I’m too happy to join him. For the last month I’ve wanted nothing more than to sleep as much as possible just so I didn’t have to face any of it, but now all I want is to stay awake, because I don’t want to miss a minute of this. Even with all the weight he’s lost, he’s still a strong, reassuring presence at my back, cocooning me and making me feel safe. His slow, even breaths remind me that he’s alive, and they remind me of how close I came to losing him.
He ends up sleeping all day, and aside from slipping out to use the bathroom, I don’t leave the bed. Tony sneaks in to change the IV bag, and when he checks Val’s temperature, he gives me a smile and a thumbs up, evidently liking what he sees. My mom brings me trays of food and plenty of water, and I spend the day eating what she brings and texting my family. Sveta is ecstatic and desperate to see her twin and makes me promise to text her as soon as he wakes up. Everyone is anxious to see him while also being devastated that Max isn’t here to join in. We all feel his absence, but we also can’t help but be relieved and happy that Val is back.
No matter what I’m doing, some part of me is touching Val, and every few minutes I look over at him, reassuring myself that his chest is still rising and falling. Even though he’s unconscious for it, today is still the best day I’ve had in a month.
When he finally opens his eye and sees me staring at him, he lets out a soft laugh and smiles. “You’re such a perv, Yel. Have you been staring at me this whole time?”
“I have, and I took a ton of photos. I almost forgot how gorgeous you are.”
“I didn’t forget for one second how gorgeous you are.”
Smiling, I lean down and kiss him. “You need to eat something. You’ve lost way too much weight.”
He scrubs a hand over his face and reaches his arms back in a stretch, wincing when it hurts his ribs. When I lean over to make sure he’s okay, he grabs onto me and pulls me against him.
“Val, you’ll hurt yourself,” I try to tell him, but he just cups the back of my head and kisses me until I forget what I was trying to say.
“I don’t need food, myshka . I just need you,” he murmurs against my lips, and then he lets out an annoyed groan mixed with a soft laugh. “I think Tony’s been slipping painkillers into my IV bag because I can’t get fully hard. The bastard,” he says with another laugh.
“That’s probably for the best, don’t you think? You’re still healing, Val. I don’t think you need to be doing any strenuous activity right now.”
He wraps a strand of my hair around his finger. “What about you? What did the doctor say?”
“I told him my husband was away for business but that you’d be back soon. After my last check-up with him, he said that as long as I’m not in any pain, that sex would be okay, but if it hurts or if I start spotting to go to the ER.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you when you needed me, Yel.”
“You’re here now.” I lean closer and kiss him again. “No more sex talk. You need food and rest.”
He grins and squeezes my ass. “I’m a fast healer, and I’ve missed you so goddamn much.”
“I’ve missed you too, but you need more than twelve hours to recover. You’re good, but you’re not that good.”
He tries to look hurt, but he ends up smiling instead. “Fine, let’s go get something to eat and see how everyone is doing. I’m guessing Sveta’s been blowing up your phone.”
“She can’t wait to see you. Can I tell her it’s okay to come over? Do you feel well enough for visitors?”
“I’m fine, baby. Tell her to come over.”
I send a quick text to Sveta and then help Val get up and situated. He hates being hooked up to the IV, and he especially dislikes feeling helpless, but he refuses to sit in the wheelchair and let me push him around, so we walk out of my room together. I make sure to keep my arm around his waist in case he feels lightheaded.
“God, that’s so fucking cute,” he says when he realizes what I’m doing.
He kisses the top of my head, and when we reach the living room, my mom and Val’s mom jump up when they see us and run over. The men aren’t quite as exuberant, but they all come closer, big smiles on everyone’s faces.
Our moms wrap us both in a hug while Val’s dad says, “Everyone’s on their way over. I suggested we do it in small groups, but you know how stubborn they are.”
“You sure you didn’t text an invite in the group chat?” Val asks.
Uncle Vitaly smiles, not looking even slightly guilty. “They all wanted to see you. Don’t worry, all you have to do is sit down and eat something. They just want the chance to see you and know you’re okay.”
“I think I can handle sitting and eating,” Val says, and that has both our moms beelining for the kitchen so they can fix him a plate. I know exactly how they feel. After feeling helpless for so long, it’s nice to be able to do something, to be able to do anything to help.
Once we’re both sitting at the table, two huge plates of food are set before us because they’re just as worried about me and the baby as they are about him.
“You need to gain weight,” Val’s mom tells him, while my mom looks at me and says, “You need to eat, too. You haven’t had anything since lunch.”
Val gives a soft laugh as I pick up my fork and spear a potato. I look over at him, and a sense of profound gratitude washes over me for the simple act of being able to turn my head and look at him. Such a small thing, but I’ll never take it for granted again. His eye softens when he looks at me, knowing exactly what I’m thinking. He squeezes my thigh under the table.
“You probably can’t tell, but I just winked at you.”
“I thought you’d just blinked,” I say with a smile.
“No, it was definitely a wink.”
“Now that you’re awake, we can start icing it,” I tell him. “Tony said it’ll help and that you should be able to open it in a day or two. He also checked your temperature while you were sleeping and gave me a thumbs up, so the antibiotics must be working.”
“How the hell did I sleep through that?”
“He stuck it in your ear. You were exhausted. He probably could’ve put it in your mouth and you still wouldn’t have woken up.”
“Well, I feel better now, and the next time I see him, I’m having him take this damn thing out,” he says, gesturing towards the IV pole.
“If he says it’s okay,” I say.
“I could just yank it out myself.”
“You better not,” I tell him.
The corner of his mouth lifts up at the tone of my voice. He may think it’s cute, but I’m dead serious. There’s no way in hell that thing is leaving his arm until Tony says it’s safe to do so.
Still grinning, he takes another bite and gives my thigh a squeeze. As if they planned it, everyone starts arriving right as we finish our meal. Val and I have just transitioned to the couch when Sveta gives a loud squeal and comes running in.
“Sveta, don’t run!” Vitya yells from behind her, but she’s not listening. She takes one look at Val’s face, starts crying, and then plops down next to him so she can give him a hug.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she tells him.
“I’m not planning on it.” He hugs her back, and then says with a laugh, “You’ve gotten bigger, sis. My nephews are growing fast.”
“They are. Their favorite pastime is kicking the shit out of me from the inside.” She looks at her twin’s face. “I see you’ve been busy getting the shit kicked out of you from the outside.” Her eyes harden as she looks over his beaten face, clearly pissed that someone’s dared to lay their hands on her brother, but then she proves she’s her father’s daughter by saying, “Everyone already knows I’m the prettier twin, Val, but now you’ve just gone and made it painfully obvious.”
Val laughs, used to his sister hiding her emotions behind humor. “Don’t worry. This face will be back to normal soon enough, and then I can give you some competition.”
She reaches out and gives his beard a soft tug. “Not if you keep that thing.”
He strokes his beard. “It’s not that bad, is it? Maybe I’ll just trim it up. It is a bit unruly, but maybe that just makes me look even more ruggedly handsome.”
Before Sveta can give a smartass response, Val laughs and says, “Samantha, look how big you’ve gotten!”
Samantha lets out an exuberant squeal, and as soon as Vitya sets her down, she wraps her chubby fingers around his and takes a few cautious steps. Her face is scrunched up in determination, trying like hell to get her clumsy legs to do what she wants, and it’s the cutest thing in the world to see. Val holds his hands out, cheering her on, and as soon as she’s close enough, she latches onto his fingers and closes the distance until he’s picking her up and kissing her cheek. She laughs, and even though I know he’s still sore and in a lot of pain, he’s not about to hurt his niece’s feelings by putting her down. She makes herself at home in his lap, not seeming to be bothered by the bruises on his face.
Sveta and I both smile as Samantha baby talks to Val, and he nods his head like she’s making perfect sense. While they get reacquainted, others start arriving, and soon the living room is full and everyone is getting a hug from Val. I know he’s already seen most of the guys, but the others are dying to get a glimpse of him to make sure he really is okay.
Mia in a rare show of emotion gives Val a big hug. “I told them I wanted to come on the rescue mission, but they told me I couldn’t. I wish I could kill them all for what they did to you and Max.”
Val pats her back and says, “I have no doubt you would’ve taken the place by storm, Mia, but that basement is the last place I’d ever want you to be.”
As soon as she steps back, Natalya takes her place, and when Val sees how much her belly has grown, he laughs and gives it a pat. “You’re about to pop, Nat.”
Unlike her younger sister, Natalya wears her heart on her sleeve, and she’s already crying before she can give him a hug. “I’m so glad you’re back. We were all so worried.”
“It’s good to be back. Now we just need to get Max.”
Natalya pulls back and nods while she wipes away the tears. “We will. I know we will.”
“Uncle Val!”
We all look to see Isabella running over, dark hair flying behind her, cheeks red with excitement. As soon as she sees his face, she stops short and lets out a small gasp. Her eyes quickly fill as she points a shaky finger at her uncle’s face and then looks to her mom.
“Mommy, owie.”
Natalya smiles and leans down to kiss her daughter’s head. “Uncle Val has a little owie, honey, but he’s going to be fine.”
Still worried, she crawls into his lap and then kisses his bruised eye. She’s as gentle as a toddler can be, and even though I know it probably hurt, Val just smiles and kisses her cheek.
“All better,” I hear her whisper.
“All better,” Val agrees. “Thanks, little princess.”
Lara and Roma are the next ones to come over, and I can tell Val’s getting tired, but there’s no way he’ll ever let on that he is.
“We missed you so much,” Lara says, giving him a hug while Roma smiles and baby talks to everyone.
“I missed you all, too,” Val tells her. “I can’t believe how big my nieces and nephew got.” He looks at Roma and laughs. “Man, he looks just like his daddy.”
Roma grins, showing off his baby teeth. His eyes are a bluish green, a mix of his mom and dad’s, but there’s no denying that he’s our cousin’s baby. He looks every bit like a mini Luka.
We’re busy loving on Roma when we see Uncle Danil and Aunt Simona walk in with Niki right behind them. As soon as he sees Aunt Simona, Val gives Roma one last kiss and hands him back to Lara before getting up from the couch. I immediately stand up beside him, and he takes my hand as we walk over to her. As happy and relieved as I am to have Val, I know that our aunt and uncle are still living in hell, scared and wondering every second of every day if their son is alive or not.
Val lets go of my hand so he can hug our aunt, whispering, “I’m so sorry,” to her as she hugs him back and starts to cry. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Simona. I couldn’t get him out of there. I’m so sorry I left him.”
The pain in Val’s voice has my throat tightening. My heart breaks for them, and I know that nothing will feel right until Max is back with us. We’re all thrilled to have Val back safe and sound, but there’s a hole in our family without Max. We all feel it, and it’s slowly killing us. Family is everything, we’ve all been taught that since birth, and this one doesn’t work unless we’re all here together.
Aunt Simona pats his back, trying to soothe him even as her own heart breaks. “It’s not your fault, Val, and we’re so happy that you’re safe.”
She pulls back and looks at his face, and I know she’s wondering if her son looks the same. Val eases her fears and quickly says, “He doesn’t look this bad. One of the guards took a real dislike to me.” Val waves a hand at his face. “This is from mouthing off when I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. I promise Max doesn’t look this bad. That’s one of the reasons he insisted I be the one to go. He knew I had a fever and that I wasn’t going to last much longer.”
Aunt Simona nods and wipes at her cheeks. Uncle Danil wraps an arm around her and kisses her head. “He’s strong, sladkaya . We’re going to find him and bring him home. I promise he’s going to be okay.”
She nods and bites her lip to hold back a sob. Niki isn’t looking much better. I give my younger cousin a hug and whisper, “I know you’ll find him, but make sure you take time to eat and sleep, okay? You look exhausted, Niki.”
“Mom forces me to eat, and I sleep when I have to. I’m not stopping until we find him.”
I hear the hard determination in his voice, and I know there’s no talking him into taking a break for some much-needed rest, so I just hug him harder and say, “I know you won’t, and I know your brother won’t be surprised in the least when you manage to track these assholes down.”
My other aunts come over to offer Aunt Simona their support. Aunt Jolene and Aunt Emily grab Niki and whisk him away to the kitchen, no doubt fixing him a giant plate of food before he goes back to his computer, while Val’s mom and my mom wrap their arms around their sister-in-law, comforting her as she goes through what they all constantly live in fear of. My hand goes to my stomach, knowing I’m about to experience this same kind of worry, because one day it’s going to be our son out there, putting his life at risk for the family, and the thought terrifies me.
“Easy, myshka ,” Val whispers in my ear. It never ceases to amaze me how observant he is. The man misses nothing. “Our baby isn’t even born yet, and it could very well be a girl, so stop worrying.”
I know he’s right. I’ll go crazy if I start worrying about all the things that may or may not happen. All I can do is be grateful that right now our baby is safe and Val is back with us. Everything else can wait.
We spend the next couple of hours with our family, and when Tony stops by to check on Val, he gives us all a disappointed look when he sees my husband laughing and talking with his dad and uncles.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” Tony tells him, walking over and sticking the thermometer in his ear before Val can even think to turn away. “It’s gone up a degree.”
“I’m fine,” Val tells him. “Can you take this thing out?” he asks, holding his arm up with the IV in it. “It’s really annoying.”
“I want it in for one more day, and then I’ll switch you over to an oral antibiotic.”
“That seems overly cautious,” Val mutters, making Tony raise a brow at him. Even though they’re similar in age and one is a Bratva boss while the other just works for a mafia, Tony makes it clear by his expression that he’s pulling the doc card.
“You still pissing blood, Val?”
Val laughs, because nothing really gets my husband down. “Isn’t that kind of personal, Doc? What about doctor-patient confidentiality?”
“I told you that doesn’t apply to me. You going back to bed or do I need to carry you there?”
Uncle Vitaly laughs and smacks Tony on the back. “You’re really warming up to the mafia life, aren’t you? You going to be joining the ranks one day?”
Tony straightens his glasses and shakes his head. “No way. I’m here to put you all back together again, not take men apart.”
“You’re missing out,” Sasha tells him with a grin. “Trust me when I say taking them apart is way more fun.”
Mia laughs and elbows her older brother. “You’re so weird.”
“Are those lessons you take with Dario helping you learn how to take people apart or put them back together again?” he asks her.
She rolls her eyes at him, but we can all tell she’s fighting a grin.
“Exactly, little sis. You may not be as fucked up as I am, but you’re still fucked up.”
I swear she beams at him like it’s the best compliment anyone could ever give her. I hear Val’s soft laugh from beside me before he says, “Okay, okay, I’m going to bed. Am I allowed to take a bath at least?”
“Not alone,” Tony tells him.
“You need me to bathe you again, son?”
I look over at Uncle Vitaly and then back at Val. With a laugh, I ask, “What?”
Val groans. “Don’t ask, myshka .”
Uncle Vitaly laughs. “Yeah, it was awkward for me too, but also high-five, Yel.”
He holds up his hand, and I smack it on instinct. “Wait, what are we high-fiving about?”
My uncle smirks and then points his finger, aiming between Val’s legs.
“Jesus,” I hear Val whisper.
My face heats up as Uncle Vitaly says, “You know,” and then waves his hand in a circular motion that’s obviously meant to encompass all of Val’s genitalia.
“Oh my god, Dad,” Sveta says from across the room.
“What?” Uncle Vitaly looks to his brothers for support, but they’re all too busy pretending they have no idea what’s going on. “I said the same thing to Jolene after she took all of what Lev’s packing.”
“Leave me out of this,” Uncle Lev says with a laugh while my Aunt Jolene blushes.
Uncle Vitaly holds up his hands. “It’s a lot of metal. That’s all I’m saying.”
Mia groans and shakes her head, making her pink dyed hair swing with the movement. “Please make him stop.”
I look over at Val as we share a laugh. “Our family is so weird,” I say, making him give another soft laugh before kissing my ear.
“It’s mainly my dad, and we both know it.” He kisses the spot right below my ear and whispers, “You going to help me get cleaned up?”
“I don’t know. Sounds like you had a fun time with your dad. You sure you don’t want him to do it again?”
He pulls back with a groan and shakes his head at me. “I’m going to try really hard to forget you said that.”
When Tony starts looking irritable again, we say our goodbyes as he gets another IV bag ready. Val holds up his hand to stop him.
“No more painkillers.”
Tony looks like he wants to argue as Vitya laughs and says, “That shit he gives you will ruin your night, won’t it?”
“He needs to rest,” Tony says, trying to reason with Vitya and my stubborn husband.
“I need this more,” Val says, giving me a slow blink of his good eye so I know it’s a wink and not just a blink. He grins when I laugh.
“Fine,” Tony says, relenting, “but I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you to see if you regret that decision.” He gives us both a pointed look. “Be careful. Slow and steady.”
I groan while our family laughs.
Val changes the subject by asking, “Can we go home? I mean, it’s only one floor below this. It’s not like I’ll even have to get in a car or anything.”
“It’s fine with me,” Tony says.
I look over at my dad, and I know he’d rather we stay here, but he keeps quiet, probably because my mom has an arm wrapped around his waist and is digging her fingers into his side. She gives me a wink while my dad kisses her head, whispering something that only she can hear. I know they’d both rather we stay here and never leave, but they both understand that we need our own space.
While everyone says their goodbyes, I quickly pack up my stuff and then we all leave together. Val and I get off on the next floor while the others keep going to the garage, and when we’re finally alone in our apartment, I let out a relieved sigh at being back home with him.
He walks into the kitchen, stopping at the island. Running his hand over the countertop, he looks over at me and says, “You have no idea how many times I replayed our last time together while I was gone. Every detail is seared in my mind, and it was the sweetest kind of torture to be able to recall it so clearly.”
I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him, resting the side of my face against his chest.
“I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you, myshka .”
“I felt the same way. It’s the first time we’ve ever been separated, and I hated every second of it.”
We hold each other, standing in the exact spot where he’d bent me over and taken me from behind. The mere thought of us being separated again makes me want to squeeze him tighter, to hang on and never let go. Finally, I ask the question that’s been eating away at me.
“You’re going with them, aren’t you? When they go to get Max?”
“I am.”
There’s no hesitation in his voice, and it sends a sharp pain to my chest to hear it.
“I have to, myshka . I left him once. I have to be there when they rescue him. He’d do the same for me.”
I know he’s right, but knowing it doesn’t stop my heart from breaking at the thought of him going back there.
“It’ll be different this time. We’ll be going in together, and we’ll have the element of surprise. I’ll have my entire family with me.” He cups my cheek and tilts my face up to his. “I promise I’ll come back to you, Yel. I’m going to go and help get Max, and I’m going to help kill the fuckers who did this to us, and then I’m coming back to you and our baby. I promise .”
I nod because there’s nothing I can do to talk him out of it. “Come on, I’ll get the bath started.”
He knows I’m avoiding the topic, and for now he lets me. I know he’ll want to talk more, to help me understand why he needs to do this, but he also knows that I need time to process it. I understand why he wants to go, and I’ll eventually learn to accept it, but right now I want to forget about everything except taking a hot bath with my husband.
Everything else can wait.