Born To Rule

Chapter Thirty-Five

The look on Sidelle’s face before she lost consciousness made my chest go cold, like I fell through thin ice, far beyond anyone’s reach. The crowd roared their applause, and I thought finding Balis’ gaze would make me feel better. It didn’t. It was worse. Those brilliant emerald eyes demanded the same question as Sidelle. What did you do?

My hands tucked to my sides as I held his stare. I wasn’t sorry for saving him. Whatever the consequences—allowing him to die was never an option.

Eurok lifted the witch into his arms. “Stay here,” he demanded.

As if I had any volition to do anything but. I wasn’t letting Balis out of my sight.

I vaguely registered the announcement declaring him the victor of the Aupex Proving Games. Admittedly, I was lost in my own thoughts until Balis darted toward me. He grabbed my hand, urging me to stand, and hurried us out of the arena, our steps swift and purposeful. We slowed to a standstill down a dark alley in a part of the village entirely unfamiliar to me.

“You gonna tell me what the fuck that was?”

“He was going to kill you.”

“Damn it, Mira! He was supposed to kill me. He defeated me.”

Some small part of me hated how he used my name. The teasing nickname he taunted me with felt like the only acceptable thing for him to call me. I especially despised the way he said it while angry.

“You defied the gods.” His shoulders squared as he straightened to his full height. “You defied my wishes, and you robbed the druid army of their rightful commander.”

“You will be commander now.”

His voice pitched louder. “You really think I can face them after this?”

“No one saw, Balis. Nobody knows except–”

“I know, Mira.” He jabbed at his chest with an insistent finger. “I. Know.”

My frustration boiled over. “I’m so sick of this self-righteous bullshit, Balis. I’ve had it. You dying in that arena would be nothing but a tragic waste.”

“That’s not your choice to make.”

“I did this for you,” I said.

“No. You did this for you.” His words were devoid of any refined tones or gentle cadence, delivered with raw, bitter sincerity. And I despised how small my own seemed in comparison. His eyes bore into mine with a furious indignation I never witnessed before. “I was ready to die today alongside my brothers,” he said. “Instead, you made a mockery of our ways, our beliefs.”

His words sliced like a razor, a pain I tried to deflect by reminding myself he was still alive, still here.

“You didn’t do this for me. This was about you. Just like how you sent me away—for you.” Bitterness tinged the words.

A pregnant pause hung between us, the tension palpable as I struggled to hold back the sting of tears. I steadied my breath before speaking.

“Fine, you’re right. I did it for me. I did it because I couldn’t stand there and watch you waste your life—not when I’ve fought the entirety of mine scraping by to survive. That game in there,” I threw my arm toward the arena, “that, to me, is a mockery.”

His expression softened, a fleeting moment of vulnerability crossing his features before he turned his back on me.

“My whole life, Balis, I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere, to anyone. And then you come along and…” My words faltered. “Yes, I sent you away for myself, too. That night, when you burst into the king’s chambers, I realized what you meant to me.”

The lingering memory of his expression when he laid eyes on me and saw I was safe confirmed what I meant to him, too. I couldn’t find you.

“How could I allow that?” The words ached, forced out through my tight throat. “How could I let myself fall for you when you’re so willing to throw it all away, to risk your life, risk everything?” I blew out a shaky breath, trying to steel my emotions and force some conviction into my words. “Balis, you left me with an impossible choice.”

“What choice?”

“To ask you to leave, or to accept this reckless attraction growing between us and fall for you despite it.”

He turned back, pain etched into the bloodstained lines of his handsome face. “And what’s so wrong with falling for me, Mira?”

The pleading in his voice threatened to destroy me.

“This!” I gestured to the arena. “This, Balis. What we’re willing to do for each other—what we’re willing to risk.” After a breath, I took a tenuous step closer. “I can’t imagine a world without you in it. I asked you to leave, knowing it was better to live my life without you than survive in a world where you don’t exist.”

His expression softened, but his head dipped. “When the council finds out I didn’t win fairly, that future might still be your reality.”

“What do you mean, ‘when’?” Disbelief colored my tone. “You’re not telling them?”

His head jerked back, dejected. “I refuse to carry a title I haven’t earned.”

“You did earn it,” I said, my voice finding strength again. “Do you honestly believe Mallack would be here having this conversation? You are the commander this army needs. If I am who you all claim, then it’s not Mallack I want to stand beside when we confront Atreus. It’s you. Despite whatever this is between us, it has always been you.”

“Mira, I can’t,” he turned away from me again.

“You won’t tell them,” I challenged.

“I can’t–”

“You won’t tell them!” Tears blurred my vision, the alley punctuating my words, echoing them back to us. “For gods’ sake, Balis, for once in your fucking life, take what you want for yourself, what you deserve, instead of whatever the druid army gives you. Take what’s yours.”

My sanity hung by a precarious thread as I waited for him to say something. And for a moment, with his back to me and fists clenched at his sides, I thought he might walk away. My gaze slid to the cobblestones, expecting the rejection of his retreating footsteps–

In a flash of breath and heat, he closed the space between us, his mouth on mine. The force of his kiss propelled me back against the hard stone wall, his mouth moving at a quick tempo against my own. The scent of blood and sand clung to his skin, mingling with the saltiness of battle on his lips.

We broke away, and I peered up at him, breathless. “What are you doing?”

“Taking what’s mine,” he said, his voice low like distant thunder. “You think you’ve got it all figured out—but you’re wrong. Being apart is far from the best choice for us.” His green eyes burned beneath heavy brows. Pain still lingered there, muted by renewed, determined hunger. “You want me to choose for myself? Then you listen to me, princess. I choose you.”

My breath caught in my throat. A rush of anticipation and nerves buzzed beneath my skin, causing my heart to race.

“And if you opt for the kingdom over me, great. This kingdom deserves you,” he paused, holding my gaze steady, “but I’m not going anywhere. Do you hear me? Never. Again.”

I marveled at the conviction drenched in his tone, and secured my arms around his neck. “I hear you, Balis,” I whispered. “Never again.”

He pressed his lips to mine, repeating the words against my kiss. “Never again.”

I savored the way his desperate hands clung to me, pulled me into him. I gripped his hair in my hands, noting the ferocity within every swipe of his tongue along mine, the essence of his mana as it enveloped us in those silken tendrils of power.

He lifted me from the ground by my ass, and my back hit the wall again. I held his face between my hands, loving the way the grit of his stubble felt against my palms. Gods, I’ve missed this.

My legs wrapped around him like an inescapable vise. In one smooth motion, Balis reached between us and yanked the chocker free from my neck, releasing my mana from its caged existence. I smiled against his kiss as it swept through my veins with a sigh, delighted to intertwine itself with his once again.

He pulled back, still holding my body against the wall with his. His viridescent gaze fluttered over my face with a mixture of admiration and pride, a stark contrast to moments ago.

“What?” I asked, breathless, panting.

“You ripped a warrior’s heart out in front of a packed arena without detection.”

My brows pinched.

Then that irresistible smirk flashed over his handsome face. “I knew you’d be incredible.”

My thumb traced over the soft pillow of his lips and everything else ceased to exist. This—this was what home must feel like.

Clicking heels against the cobblestone street pulled our attention from our momentary haven. Why does everyone here have the worst timing?

Balis set me on my feet and positioned himself between me and whoever approached. His stance eased as a stunning, blonde-haired druid appeared around the corner.

“High Witch Saura,” he breathed.

My ears perked. “Saura, Sidelle’s mother?” I asked.

He nodded over his shoulder.

“Normally I would never deign to interrupt such a joyous union. Congratulations on your victory, Balis,” she inclined her chin his way, “but I’m afraid we have a problem.”

His jaw rippled as he clenched his teeth. “A problem?”

“Sidelle and Eurok are gone.”

Frigid panic swept in as I moved to his side. “What do you mean, gone?”

“You must be Mira.” She studied me with a knowing gaze and a faint, sorrowful smile. “You really are her spitting image.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Come, we should speak more privately. Follow me.”

The witch led us through the festival, where crowds congratulated Balis on his victory. He did his best to ignore them. He dashed inside the witch’s wagon as soon as we arrived, and I followed suit. With a swift motion, he pulled the door shut.

The wagon was small, but somehow larger than I expected after seeing the exterior. Lavender hung from the ceiling. A rustic wood stove stood against the wall, its surface gleaming under the warm glow. Atop it rested a matching cauldron, bubbling with a fragrant concoction of spices and herbs, filling the space with an enticing aroma. It was cozy and carried all the charm I came to expect in these druid homes. I settled in, waiting for an explanation of the witch’s proclamation.

Saura dropped the hood of her lilac cloak, allowing the full length of her blonde waves to cascade over her shoulders. “I happened to step outside for a pipe before the games ended, when I spotted Eurok on his way down the hill, carrying Sidelle.”

“She fainted,” I explained.

“That was no faint. She was seeing—of that, I’m certain.”

I glanced at Balis, and he nodded.

“Someone stopped them,” Saura said. “I didn’t get a good look, but one second all three of them were there, and the next they were gone.”

Worry knotted my stomach. “It was Atreus,” I blurted. “He’s using a manastone to travel from place to place. Before the games, he found me, asked me to meet him. He must’ve–” I paused, unsure how much truth to divulge. This was Sidelle’s mother, the incredible witch who raised a child as her own, who taught Sidelle to be such a force. I could trust her. “He must have seen me wield.”

“It seems he means to lure you to him,” she offered.

I nodded in agreement. “Can you help us find them?”

“Few possess the ability to walk the veil, child. There’s no way to tell where he took them.” Her eyes trailed over me as if sizing me up. “Only the veil can show you.”

“I can’t do that.”

Balis arched a brow. “You’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, once. I don’t know how I did it, though.”

“Twice,” he said.

My irritated bemusement was likely written all over my face.

He lowered to my ear. “I think veiling is exactly what you did in there.” He jerked his chin in the arena’s direction.

I swallowed hard, trying to recall the process of what I did to save Balis. All I remembered was an eruption of chest-caving fear and my urge to stop Mallack from harming him. My vision had snapped like a rubber band, then I stood there, holding Mallack’s dripping heart in my hands. Just the same as the night I killed the poacher.

“It’s all about intention, girl,” Saura mused, “all mana is.”

“So what am I supposed to do? I don’t trust myself to veil on purpose and not fuck it up.”

“That I can help with,” she said, an eerie smile on her red-painted lips.