26. Derrick
26
DERRICK
R achel's mother showing up at my office was the last thing I expected. She was a formidable woman, like her daughter, but kind and funny, also like her daughter.
Rachel was pacing, obviously out of sorts.
" Amma , did you know he used police resources to help find out who was stalking me? I was terrified, scared to death. The man—my grandfather—showed up at the Roller Derby rink. I thought he wanted to murder me! Derrick came to my rescue." Rachel turned to her mother, her eyes flashing with anger. "And all of that could've been avoided if you'd been honest with me from the moment he contacted you."
"It really wasn't an issue," I said to Mrs. Arya. "I was happy to help."
I stood and edged towards the door again, not wanting to get caught in the middle of this family drama, but Rachel's gaze snapped back to me, pinning me in place.
"Stay," she said. "And sit down. You're making me nervous."
I didn't leave, but I didn't move from where I stood.
"Fine. Stand. Just...stay." Her voice caught, and I realized she didn't just want me there to punish her mother. She wanted me there for support.
I took two steps and I was by her side, an act of solidarity. I wanted to put a hand on her shoulder, to assure her I had her back, but I kept both my hands securely in place at my side.
Her mother looked scandalized. "Rachel, is this how you talk to your boss? It's hardly appropriate work behavior."
Rachel laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Oh, please. Derrick's not exactly the poster child for appropriate work behavior."
I raised an eyebrow, worried about where she was going with this. With Rachel, you never knew.
"Amma, I want you to leave,” Rachel said. “It wasn't appropriate for you to come to my work like this."
Her mother pursed her lips, clearly not happy. But she nodded, gathering her purse.
"I'll go. But I've invited Mr. Lin to dinner on Friday. I hope you'll join us." Her mother's voice softened. "Rach, I think it'll be good for you."
Rachel's face went white, then red. "I want nothing to do with him."
Her mother hesitated, then said, "I'm just trying to help, Rachel. He's insistent on meeting you."
“No," Rachel gritted out. “We'll talk later.”
With a defeated sigh, her mother left, closing the door behind her.
Rachel was shaking, her brow tense with fury. She spun around, dropping her face into her hands. "Damn it," she sputtered.
She collapsed into the chair across from my desk, and I was shocked when I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. I was beside her in a heartbeat, kneeling in front of her chair.
"It's okay, Rach," I murmured, reaching out to brush her hair. "Let it out."
"Don't." She shook me off, and I immediately took my hand from her head.
Her shoulders shook with sobs. I didn't know what to do, how to comfort her. But I couldn't just sit there and watch her cry, and when she leaned forward, her head falling to my shoulder, I gathered her to my chest. Instead of rejecting my comfort for a second time, she melted into my embrace, her hands fisting my shirt.
"I've got you," I whispered, stroking her back. "You're safe. Let it all out."
"Amma and I have never had secrets. Nothing like this. It was always just the two of us, a rock-solid unit. I don't understand…" She sucked down a sob. "I don't know how she could keep this secret from me."
She tilted her head back, her face so close I saw the color defect in her eye.
"You don't know what it's like, Derrick, being an only child. Your childhood was filled with an array of siblings and two parents who loved and supported you. My mom is all I had. I mean, I had my grandparents and an array of aunties and cousins who filled the house on the weekends and holidays. But on the daily, it was just the two of us.”
Rachel looked past me, staring in the distance at her memories.
“She’s my ride or die. I trust her more than anyone and she lied to me." Rachel fell forward and I tugged her into my arms tighter, her breath hot as she cried out her frustration.
"Your mom loves you, that's obvious. But no one's perfect, Rach. She thought she was doing the right thing." Rachel glanced up at me, her face red with anger. "I know. I know. I'm not saying it was right, but you can't deny there was love behind it. No one's mom's perfect. I certainly know that."
Rachel snorted against my shirt and fisted the fabric tighter, pulling herself closer. I inhaled her grape shampoo and closed my eyes, sinking into her essence. My heart ached for her, for the pain she was going through. She was lost, and I wanted to help her find her way. But you can't fix other people. They have to fix themselves.
But damn it, if I could, I'd take away her pain. The only thing I could do was be a salve and take some of the sting out.
"I'm sorry." She pulled back, wiping at her eyes. "I can usually keep it together. I hate falling apart."
I shook my head, tucking a blue strand of hair behind her ear. "Your life has been turned upside down, Rachel. I can't imagine what you're going through. It's healthy to cry, to scream, to do whatever you need to do to process everything."
She gave me a watery smile, and my heart skipped a beat. Even with bloodshot eyes and a blotchy face, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
"Thanks, Boss," she said softly, reminding me what I was to her.
I swallowed hard over the aching lump in my throat. She looked at me then, really looked at me. And my breath hitched. There was something in her eyes, something I'd never seen before. A vulnerability that made me want to pull her back to my chest and hold her forever. I cared for her. More than a friend. Certainly, more than a boss should.
But I was afraid to dissect my heart and see all that was inside. It was too dangerous.
She stared up at me, soaking in my strength, and I wanted to tell her, to share a piece of these unexpected and wonderful feelings with her. But I didn't. She had enough on her plate without me adding my feelings to the mix to confuse her.
I patted her hand, which was horribly inefficient, but if I held her again, I didn't know if I'd be able to resist pulling her in and kissing her fiercely.
"You're gonna figure this out, Rachel." I smiled to reassure her. "And I'll help. You're not alone."
She nodded. "Thanks. You're a good man, Derrick."
Her palm heels roughly wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. "I should get back to work," she said, giving me a rueful smile. "I've already missed enough."
I stood up and offered her my hand. She took it, letting me pull her to her feet.
"If you need anything, I'm here," I told her.
“I know.” She squeezed my hand. "You're the most dependable man I know."
Somehow her analysis of me broke my heart a little. She was strong, fearless, a maverick. I was boring, stoic, and dependable. Why would she want that? Everything I was paled in comparison to her tenacity.
"Thank you," she said, her voice hoarse. "And sorry about all the snot."
She waved her hand at the wet stains on my shirt, and I snorted out a laugh.
"Anytime," I said lamely.
She left and I sank into my chair, fucking depressed because I was falling in love with Rachel Arya and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.