37. Rachel
37
RACHEL
D errick made the Uber driver speed through the streets until we reached the hospital in Brooklyn. I nearly barfed. I held my stomach as we rushed through the hospital corridors, the sharp smell of antiseptic not helping my nausea.
Derrick's face was filled with worry, and I barely kept up with him as he barreled through the door of his mom's room. The sight that greeted us was terrifying. His mom was seizing, her body convulsing violently on the bed. Nurses and a doctor swarmed around her, working with a practiced urgency that did nothing for my panic.
"What's happening?" Derrick's voice cracked as he grabbed Valeria who stood at the edge of the room, hands gripped in front of her chest.
"She's having seizures," Valeria said. "They're not sure why. It could be a complication from the infection, a reaction to the medication, or something else entirely."
Valeria's words were a blur as I tried to process everything. Seizures. Complications. It seemed too much for a simple infection.
A nurse ushered us out of the room and the doctor entered the hallway a few moments later.
"Dr. Nwosu, what happened?" Derrick asked.
The doctor was tall, in his early sixties, with close-cropped hair graying at the edges. He glanced at me, his gaze sweeping down my outfit, a quizzical expression on his face, but he didn't say anything.
"We had to put her in a medically induced coma to stop the seizures," the doctor explained, looking between Valeria and Derrick. "It's the best way to give her brain a chance to rest and prevent further damage."
Derrick's face fell into darkness. "A coma? Is that safe?"
"It's not without risks," Dr. Nwosu admitted. "But it's necessary right now."
Derrick's muscles tensed in his neck and face as he processed this information. I stepped closer, putting a hand on his arm, but he shook me off.
"Derrick, she's going to be okay," I assured him.
"You don't know that," he snapped.
His words stung, but I couldn't blame him. He was in a world of fear. There was a tightness in my chest, wishing I could relieve his pain, but he was rigid next to me, and his body screamed “don't touch me.”
All I wanted to do was be near him, soothe him, comfort him, and just be with him. I'd never felt an urge this strong.
It was terrifying.
After what felt like an eternity, we were allowed back in the room. Derrick and Valeria hurried in, and I walked behind them, unsure if I should stay.
In the bed, his mother was still and looked like she was sleeping. Derrick took a shuddering breath, his face pale and drawn, and held his mom's hand tight in his own. His chin wobbled but his jaw tightened, like he was holding back a tsunami of emotions.
"I need some air," he muttered, dropping her hand and walking out the door. Valeria took Derrick's place beside her mom's bed.
"I'll go after him," I said, but suddenly I didn't know if that was a good idea.
"Wait." Valeria turned to me. "Be careful with him. He looks strong, but he's easily broken."
She held my gaze, making sure I understood her full meaning.
"Then I'll be his glue."
She nodded once, a little smile on her lips, before turning back to the bed.
Derrick was already at the end of the hallway. I hurried after him. Down the next corridor he entered the hospital chapel. Quietly, I opened the door into the small, dimly lit room that offered a refuge from the chaos outside.
It was empty except for the two of us. Derrick stood at the front of the room, his shoulders tense, before he suddenly fell to his knees and began to whisper something.
I stepped closer, my arms tingling with the urge to wrap them around his broad back and grip him tightly to me. I strained to hear what he was whispering, and I was shocked when I realized it was some religious chant. Perhaps...the rosary.
I was raised Hindu, but growing up it was more about celebrations like Holi and Diwali than a religious faith.
I stood there, stunned, until it dawned on me that this was for his mother, who was devoutly Catholic, and it broke me a little. He didn't believe in this, not like his mother, but here he was, on his knees.
"Derrick," I said softly, inching closer.
He whirled around, eyes blazing. "Are you here to judge me? I know you judge my mom for her beliefs."
I was taken aback. "What? No, Derrick, I?—"
"Yes, you do!" he shouted, his voice echoing in the small chapel. "You made it very clear at the lake that you don't respect her or her beliefs."
I stumbled backwards, the back of my knees hitting one of the chairs lined up behind me.
"I...that was...I was defending your sister. That doesn't mean I don't like your mother or want her to get better. God, Derrick. I know you're upset, but I'm wrecked seeing your mom sick. Seeing Valeria and you distraught. Anyone you care about, I care about too."
He looked at me, a deeper pain crossing his face. "I wish I believed that."
He turned around and bowed his head again.
The line of crinoline under my tiny skirt rustled as I stepped away from the chairs. Suddenly, I felt like a fool for being there dressed like that. I was shaking. As much as I wanted to be his rock, I couldn't force myself on him. I couldn't make him want me by his side.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I roughly wiped them away. Ugh. When did I become such a softy? So what if Derrick didn't want me anymore. I never asked for his love. I never wanted to love him back.
And yet...
Yet...
My chin trembled and I was overcome with the urge to run home, curl up under my covers, and disappear. I hated all these damn unchecked emotions. This was why love sucked. I was a wreck, and there was nothing I could do about it.
That's when I realized there were two sides to the coin of love:
Bliss.
And despair.
Derrick's chanting wavered and he fell forward, his body shaking. His hands covered his face, muffling rough sobs. I rushed to him, crashed to my knees, and collapsed over him, holding him tightly. He shifted sideways and fell into my arms, breaking on me.
"Let me take care of you," I whispered, my chin wobbling. "I want to help you. To be whatever you need, Derrick. Please."
He looked up at me, his eyes red and filled with a desperate need. His palms circled my face, his finger pads pressing into the base of my scalp. His stare was so intense it sent a flutter of desire rushing through me.
This was so not the time or place.
Or maybe it was...
Because suddenly Derrick snatched me to him and pressed his lips against mine in a hungry kiss, and I tumbled with him over the edge of love and despair.