Bound and Blitzed (Knoxville Coyotes Football #4)

24. Valentina

Chapter 24

Valentina

I spend two more nights in Chicago with my family, but I don’t enjoy my time the way I thought I would. Instead, guilt plagues me.

I hate that I hurt Avery. It kills me that I don’t know what I want from him anymore. Confusion and sadness riddle my mind and make a mess of my emotions. It’s worse when I arrive home and note the stillness of the condo. He’s already gone.

Avery packed a bag, moved in with Raia and Cohen, and left me all alone, just like I asked. Even now, he’s doing what he thinks I want. The fact that the empty condo didn’t fill me with relief like I anticipated baffles me.

My thoughts are a fucking mess, and I don’t know which way is up. What am I doing?

That night, I cry myself to sleep.

I cry for Avery. For our marriage. For myself.

Already, I miss him. I miss the scent of his cologne and the way he would hold me when he slid into bed at night. I miss his deep gray eyes and the rumble of his laugh. I miss his questions about my research and the team dynamics he would share over dinner.

Part of me wants to call him, apologize, and beg him to come home. But after all the hell I put him through, I know I can’t do that. Not when he has the playoffs to focus on. He’s the team captain. And right now, I’m an emotional ticking timebomb about to embark on my own trip.

Besides, would he even believe me? I’m playing hot and cold—even I don’t trust myself.

As I prepare for the research trip, I keep getting lost in my thoughts.

The night before my trip, Abuela calls.

“ Hola , Abuelita,” I answer on the first ring.

She frowns at me, her eyes flashing. “Still unhappy I see, mi tesoro ?”

I chuckle but it turns into a groan. “Abuela, what am I doing?”

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“I told Avery I need a break.”

“What’s a break?” She wrinkles her nose.

Sighing, I explain the conversation Avery and I had in Chicago. As I speak, Abuela’s mouth tightens, and disappointment sweeps through her eyes.

“You think I made a mistake,” I say.

“Only you can know that,” she replies cryptically.

I close my eyes and admit, “I miss him.”

“How much?” she wonders, her eyes sparking with something akin to mischief.

“Abuela,” I whine. “What should I do?”

“Marriages are hard work, Valentina. You know that. What you have to ask yourself is if you’re willing to do the work that needs to be done.” She gives me a little shrug. “I have to go now. I’m meeting my friends for Zumba. I just wanted to wish you a good, safe trip.”

I snort. “I’ll be fine. You be careful at Zumba. Don’t break a hip.”

“Vale!” she scolds me. “Don’t even say such things.”

“Sorry. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Follow your heart on this one, not your head,” she adds before clicking off.

I toss down my phone and continue to pack. Once I’ve gone over my supplies three times, I shower and climb into bed. Still, Abuela’s words turn over in my mind.

Follow your heart on this one.

Are you willing to do the work that needs to be done?

Avery Callaway flipped my world upside down and made me his wife. I blossomed in that role, wanting to be enough for him. And with him, I felt whole. I felt like the best version of myself.

The second my family questioned that, I buckled. But why? Because they didn’t embrace him the way I wanted them to?

You’ll know you’re grown up when you don’t care what anyone else thinks , Abuela’s voice whispers through my mind.

And that’s when I understand the crux of it. I’m still hung up on my family’s opinions. I’m still desperate for their approval. Where has that ever gotten me?

Alone. Hurt. Apart.

Things Avery never made me feel. He inspires me, cares for me, and loves me. I never would have made it this far without him and his unconditional love. Even now, he’s bunking at his sister and best friend’s place because he’s trying to do right by me. He’s giving me time and space to work out my issues, even though I hurt him.

God, I made a mistake. A horrible mistake.

Am I ready to grow the fuck up? Am I ready to put in the necessary work?

I close my eyes.

The timing is all wrong. I can’t get into everything that needs to be shared when I’m leaving for the research trip and Avery is preparing for his next game.

I refuse to be even more of a distraction than I’ve already been.

But when I get back from my trip, we’re going to talk and I’m going to prove my love for Avery. I’m going to show up and be a constant for him, the same way he’s been for me. Even when I made him question our marriage, I never questioned his love for me.

Relieved that I finally know what to do, I drift off to sleep.

Early in the morning, two hours before I leave, he checks in.

Avery

Hey, you all set for today?

I smile that he remembers the date—even though part of me knew he would. We’re hardly broken up. Instead, we’re taking a pause. A chance to process and regroup. Somehow, that feels worse because I’m leaving without settling things between us.

Valentina

Yes, all ready. I leave at 8 AM.

Ready for your game tonight?

Avery

Yep. I feel good about it.

Valentina

Good.

Avery

Be careful out there.

Valentina

I will.

Avery

Try to check in when you can.

Valentina

Communication will be tough. Spotty service. But I’ll let you know I’m good.

Avery

That’s all I ask, Lena.

Valentina

How are you? I miss you.

Avery

I miss you, too. We’ll talk soon.

Valentina

Okay. See you soon.

I sigh and toss down my phone.

As soon as I return from this trip, I’ll tell Avery how I feel. I’ll explain that I knew, within the first twenty-four hours of our break, that I was wrong. I made a mistake. And that he’s it for me. That our marriage, his love, and our happiness are the most important things in my life.

That I could never resent him. Or us.

I wish I could say all that this morning but there’s not enough time. Instead, I take a shower, check my pack one final time, and write Avery one more sticky note.

I love you. You’re it for me. Forever and always.

Simple. To the point. Truthful.

I leave it on the kitchen counter, hoping he comes home after his game against Houston tonight, and sees it while I’m gone.

Then, I head to campus and meet up with my team. Together, we travel to the entry point. A handful of hours later, I enter The Great Smoky Mountains, knowing that the beautiful nature, my passion for research, and the camaraderie among my team members will bolster my spirits and soothe my soul.

It happens on the fourth day.

I’m jotting down notes, taking photographs, and allowing a sequence of events, of patterns regarding the changing habitations of the cerulean warbler to take shape in my mind. I lose time—the way I always do when I’m focused on my work. Minutes turn into hours. Steps turn into miles.

And then, the storm we were warned about is upon me.

The sky opens up, a deluge of rainfall spilling from the angry clouds above. I turn my face skyward, surprise rocking through me, and I’m drenched in seconds.

“Shit!” I swear, stuffing my notes into a waterproof pouch. I make sure my materials are stored safely before shouldering my bag and looking around to get a sense of my bearings.

But nothing looks familiar.

The rainfall is intense. Gusts of wind kick up, whipping my hair around my face as it tugs free from my ponytail.

I pull up my hood and take careful steps as I try to follow the path.

But I take a wrong step, the sole of my boot sliding on a patch of ice, and I fall hard, tumbling down and over the side of the hill I was working from.

“Argh,” I cry out as I literally somersault.

Sticks and branches tug at my hair, cutting my face. Gravel and rocks dig into my palms, shredding them as I try to find purchase on the hill to stop my fall.

“Ow!” My head collides with a rock and for a heartbeat, I’m airborne.

Fear spikes in my bloodstream, causing my heart rate to skyrocket as I try to understand what’s happening. I land in a heap, my tailbone slamming into the ground, and pain ripping through my ankle.

“Oh, God.” I wince, jolting from the agony.

Adrenaline pumps and I curl into myself, rocking nonsensically, as the rain falls in sheets.

“Oh my God,” I breathe.

I brush my wet hair out of my eyes and my fingertips come away dotted with red. I wince as I examine a cut on the side of my face, disappearing into my hairline.

It’s shallow. Nothing compared to the fire burning in my ankle and spreading up into my calf.

I lay my head back and suck in deep breaths, nearly choking on the rainwater.

But I can’t move. Can hardly muster breath.

The bulk of my backpack keeps my upper body propped up as I try to shift into a more comfortable position. I dig into the pack for a waterproof blanket, pulling it over my frame, my face, my pack. It’s not entirely waterproof, especially with the skies dumping water at this pace, but it allows me to suck in a breath and take a minute.

I need to assess my injuries. I need to get to a safer, drier location. I need to call for help.

As I mentally work through a checklist, I try to physically follow it.

My movements are slow and sluggish. My head throbs, my ankle screams, and my vision blurs.

But I do my best to keep myself safe. And pray that my team will send someone to look for me as soon as possible.