Chapter 54
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
HEATHER
I twirled my spaghetti around on my fork and gazed out of the foggy restaurant windows into Market Square in the heart of Pittsburgh. Outside the window, snow blew through the breeze. Christmas lights twinkled all around the city for Christmas Eve tonight.
After sucking the strings of spaghetti into my mouth, I gazed across the table at Mom. Soft, flickering candlelight danced across her face as she spoke to Hector, who sat next to me. I still hadn’t stopped thinking about the conversation that I’d eavesdropped on at Carnegie Coffee.
Children with their parents giggled and walked through the square, going to and from the ice-skating rink that the city had set up a couple of streets over. I frowned at one father-and-daughter duo, holding hands and smiling widely.
I had absolutely no reason to feel this shitty. I had been the one to betray my father, and people had it way, way worse than I did in regard to their families. Hell, Sierra s entire family had died before Christmas a few years ago. Hector didn t have a family either.
And here I was, complaining that I had disappointed mine. I should be thankful.
“Heather?” Hector asked to my right.
Once I snapped out of my daze, I placed my fork down and wiped my mouth with a napkin. “Sorry, I was just thinking.” I set the napkin back down and attempted to clear my mind, glancing at him. “What is it?”
“Are you okay?” Mom asked.
Yes, I lied. I m fine.
“What’s wrong?” Hector pushed.
I narrowed my eyes at him, sending him my most menacing glare, then frowned. “Actually, I saw Dad the other day at the coffee shop. I overheard his conversation with Evelyn. And …” I’m not sure if I should call him or not. It is the holidays after all …
Mom s expression softened, and she reached across the table to squeeze my hand.
“Do you think that I should call him tomorrow for Christmas?” I whispered.
What if he didn’t answer? Would this really be my first Christmas without him? I’d texted him so many times the day after it happened, but he didn’t return any of my messages, so I stopped trying.
But I couldn t shake the feeling that I d caused him this pain, which was so stupid because I had apologized over and over again. Yet he had walked in on me literally sucking off his best friend and business partner.
On the other hand, how would he react when Evelyn’s father found out that he was sleeping with her? I would bet that their relationship was a secret. All of this was so messy and only became messier by the day.
Hector traced soothing circles on my hand with his thumb. It s your decision, Heather.
Mom offered me a smile. “Your father can be a grinch sometimes. I would know. But I think he’d really like that. If you’re ready, maybe giving him a call could be a step in a positive direction for you.”
I nodded, still unsure if he would actually answer, and turned back to the restaurant window. I didn t know why he couldn t be the bigger person, why it had to be me, even after I had messaged him endless times already.
My stomach tightened into knots. What would he think when he found out that I was now Hector’s full-time submissive? Surely, that would make matters even worse, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that right now.
“Heather,” Mom interjected, “your father loves you. You know that, right?”
Yeah, well, it doesn t feel like it, I mumbled to myself. But I know.
Soft Christmas music played through the restaurant, the ambience of Christmastime just making me feel all types of ways, some good and some bad. This was the first Christmas that I would spend with a boyfriend … and I couldn’t wait to wake up next to Hector tomorrow.
I didn t want the thought of calling Dad to dampen my mood.
After sipping my wine, I placed down the glass. “I’ll think about it, Mom.”
Mom’s smile widened. “That’s all I ask, dear.”
Once I finished my wine and spaghetti, I set down my fork and nudged Hector. “I’m going to use the restroom before we go home.” I scooted past him as Mom excused herself, too, and walked with me to the women’s room.
So, you ve moved in with Hector? Mom asked on our way.
My lips curled into a small smile. “Only for a bit.”
“I hope that you’re doing okay,” she said, slipping into a stall.
I walked into the one beside her and locked it. “Honestly, it’s the best.”
Better than I could have ever imagined. Better than any other relationship I had been in. There was no competing, no fighting, no accusing or blaming or not feeling like I was good enough. I usually avoided relationships, but I loved being in one with Hector.
“I can see how much he cares about you, and one day, your father will too.”
After finishing my business, I washed my hands in the sink and gazed in the mirror at Mom stepping out of her stall. She walked to the sinks and let the water rush onto her hands. Warmth filled my chest.
Nodding, I grabbed a towel and wiped off my hands. “He does, but I know that he’s struggling with how to help me through this whole thing. I’m sure you already know that he’s never had a father figure, so he doesn’t fully understand. Sometimes, I wonder if all this drama is too much for him, you know?”
Nonsense, Mom said. That doesn t mean he doesn t know basic human decency. He s a very intelligent man, Heather. He s worked extremely hard in business, and he must ve worked through a lot emotionally, growing up in that kind of environment.
I nodded.
I know that this is probably weird for you, I said. But you know the terms of my relationship with Hector. I don t know what I want to do with my life, even after all these years in undergrad and grad school. I m going to finish up this year in grad school and be a submissive for Hector full-time until I figure it all out. With every word I said, my voice became more strained.
I didn t want her to be disappointed in me, too, for this decision. I needed her support, needed her to say that it was okay, because this was actually beginning to feel like something I d wanted for a long time.
“What do you think?” I asked hesitantly.
Mom smiled at me through the mirror. “I think it’s a great idea.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes, of course.”
“You’re not … mad?”
She laughed and dried her hands. Why would I be mad at you? It s your life, Heather. You don t owe me anything, and you don t owe your father anything either. We both want you to be happy.
Lips quivering, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me. She hugged me back the way she used to when I was just a little girl. A hug that I had craved for so, so, so long.
I closed my eyes as a weight lifted off my shoulders. “Thank you.”