EIGHTEEN
Kaylan
“Blinded by what?” I asked, sensing he was holding something back.
“Nothing,” he dismissed with a shake of his head.
“Blinded by what?” I demanded again, my voice rising. “Was it anger? Hurt? Pain?”
Guilt?
No, that was just me.
“Kaylan,” he warned, his voice deepening.
“No, tell me!” I asked petulantly, my frustration boiling over. “What could possibly blind you, Logan? What could a whore blind you with?”
His eyes darkened, and his hands shot up, gripping my shoulders with a force that made me wince.
“Jealousy,” he roared, the word slicing through the tense air of the gym like a blade.
“Fucking jealousy,” he whispered again.
I never would have guessed he’d say that. I was stunned to silence and yet he continued, “You sewed me up, yet you went back and fucked him .”
His breathing was ragged, and his head dropped on mine, seeking a proximity that seemed to ground him. He pulled back slightly, locking his gaze with mine, those intense blue eyes searching for an answer.
“I am jealous. I still can’t picture you with him. Yet you kissed me a few days ago. Why?”
The demand in his voice made me flinch. I didn’t exactly know why I’d kissed him. And when I stayed silent, he answered for me.
“First and last, you said,” he murmured, his breath mingling with mine in the charged space between us. “ This is the first and last.”
Before I could process his words, before I could even catch my breath, his lips came crashing down on mine. The kiss was fierce, loaded with desperation, jealousy, and unspoken feelings. I found myself yielding, drawn into the depth of his need. My body instinctively leaned into his, my arms wrapping around him as his kiss deepened. His tongue explored mine with an urgency that spoke of both longing and conflict. His grip was firm, pulling me closer still, as if trying to merge us into one. This kiss—it was wrong in so many ways, yet it felt terrifyingly right. It felt forbidden, yet cosmically fated.
As we caught our breath, Logan stared at me, his expression one of bewilderment as if he’d ventured into uncharted territory. “You’re chaos, Kaylan,” he breathed out. “Chaos.”
He leaned in as if to capture my lips again, but I instinctively tensed, pausing his advance just inches from contact.
“Do you want this, Kaylan?” he asked, his eyes searching mine for an answer.
The question struck me as odd, a stark contrast to the lack of choice I’d faced for so long.
I nodded shakily.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” He clarified, his tone gentle, “Fuck him out of your system?”
I nodded again, firmly this time.
“Say it, Chaos. Say the words.”
“Yes,” I whispered, “Fuck me, Logan.”
With a swift motion, he lifted me in his arms, carrying me towards his room.
All the while my brain struggled to catch up with the concept of consent. I wanted this. I really, really needed this, especially from him.
Grateful for the two painkillers I had taken an hour ago to workout, I was feeling more like myself. The lingering feeling in my abdomen, I figured, was now from the heat pooling between my legs, and not the pain.
Logan
I gently laid her down on my bed, acutely aware of her recent injuries. Her eyes, filled with a complex mix of trust and something else, locked onto mine. When I had asked her to speak her consent aloud, a fleeting shadow had crossed her features.
The implication of that look haunted me briefly, stirring a chill of doubt about what it might mean. But I pushed the thought aside as I positioned myself above her. My frame fully consumed her form.
I kissed her gently this time, taking my sweet time exploring her mouth, our tongues doing that forbidden dance yet again. I had missed it, even though I had kissed her mere minutes ago.
My lips grazed her jaw and traced the path to her neck as she gasped softly at the contact. My fingers hooked at the bottom seam of her sports bra and pushed it up, spilling her gorgeous creamy breasts out. I cupped one and started ravishing the other, flicking the peak with my tongue.
She moaned sweetly and I felt my cock pressing against my boxers. To even the stakes, I removed my t-shirt with one hand and she whimpered beneath me when my mouth left her breasts.
I smirked at her. “Patience, Chaos.”
Grabbing the breasts again with my mouth, I drew my hand down her stomach, lazily stroking her body until I reached the band of her shorts. With one move, I removed both her shorts and panties, baring her for myself.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Kaylan,” I said as I left kisses down her stomach. She was so beautiful, soft, and… vulnerable.
My cock throbbed painfully as I reached the light tuft of hair above her glistening pussy, groomed in a V shape.
Without missing a beat, I lapped up her juices as she moaned and grunted, latching on to my hair. I shamelessly pulled her closer, wanting to drown myself in her wetness. She tasted heavenly, and I craved more, even though I was face deep in her. I fucked her with my tongue and then my fingers, until she was writhing with pleasure.
Her moans filled the space, echoing off the walls of the room. Sucking her clit, I hooked my finger inside her, and she grunted even harder.
“Oh god, Logan,” she panted.
“Come, baby,” I mumbled against her pussy. “You need to come for me.”
Two fingers disappeared inside her, and I continued the rhythmic dance of my tongue on her.
Her release hit her hard and she screamed my name. There was nothing better than feeling her coming on my face with my name on her lips.
I climbed up as the shivers from her orgasm still lingered. Her hand instinctively grabbed the band of my sweatpants and she tugged them down. My cock sprang free and she eyed it hungrily.
Her tiny hand wrapped around the base of my cock and squeezed gently, earning a groan from me.
“It’s not your hand my cock is weeping for, Chaos.”
She pulled me closer with her other hand and rubbed my cock over her folds. I paused to grab a condom Blackthorn stocked in all of the rooms and returned to my rightful place–between her legs.
I couldn’t wait a second longer, my patience wore thin. She was looking at me with such fervor that I entered her with a hard thrust, pushing fully inside her until I met resistance. My eyes immediately locked to where we connected.
But all my impatience and jealousy waned away when I heard her whimper, almost in pain. A sound I hadn’t expected pierced my ears and I paused, terrifyingly frozen inside her. My head snapped up and I saw pain, raw pain twisting her features. Her eyes gleaming with tears as she blinked rapidly to desperately avoid crying.
How the hell am I hurting her again?
I brushed her cheek gently with one hand, “Are you okay?”
My voice belied my concern. An uneasy worry had gripped me. I caught a stray tear rolling down her temple with my thumb and I settled down on my elbows to look at her more closely.
She’s not a virgin.
She couldn’t be. Right?
“Talk to me,” I urged.
Something was terrifying this beautiful, enchanting woman, and I had no idea. I started to pull out and she grunted. This time with a guttural groan etched with agony.
Fuck, she’s in physical pain .
I pulled out fully and rolled up beside her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Shh…it’s fine. Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”
I couldn’t bring myself to ask her about what had just happened. Instead, I drew her close, burying my face in the curve of her neck, and let sleep pull me under with her held tightly against me.
When I awoke later, chilled and alone, I realized she had slipped away quietly while I slept. The absence of her warmth left a void beside me, and just as before, I mourned the loss. Sleep eluded me for the rest of the night, the space beside me achingly empty.