66. Chapter 66
66
Nelle
W e walked across the lawn toward the marquee. The grand arched opening and windows allowed us to see inside, and as we drew nearer, I could feel the mood of the engagement celebrations wasn’t what Evvie had expected. The atmosphere crackled with tension, and there was an eagerness amongst the Houses that crept along my skin like a thin layer of frost.
As Graysen and I strode past the elegantly arranged garden and park benches outside the entrance, I saw that the Heads of Houses had gathered into tight pockets within the tent. Our elders mingled or danced, as did the younger family members—the next generation. Frivolity reigned at the banquet tables or where my peers stood, drinking, eating, laughing, but throughout it all, the topic of the Estlores hung over everything. How had Elyse hidden herself with no one suspecting she was an other ? What was going to happen now that Sia was Head of Lower House Estlore?
My stomach rose at the sight. How could they carry on like this after what they’d witnessed at the temple, the brutality of it all? Disgust sickened my insides to see what was going on within the marquee, the response to that savage death of the Estlore parents, and Elyse being stolen by the Horned Gods.
But then what had I done?
Was I any better?
I’d given myself to Graysen to smother the horror and bloodshed, the pain and guilt.
Shame painfully cut through me and I came to a stumbling halt, clenching my fingers in the soft folds of my dress. The shattered adamere bracelet chimed as the beads struck one another. “I-I shouldn’t have done it… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect the Estlores by sleeping…” With you —I should have said, but I couldn’t continue. Remorse burned the backs of my eyes with salty tears.
A touch on my back startled me enough to half-twist around and face Graysen. His understanding gaze held mine as he gently tucked a stray lock behind my ear. “No. That was a normal response to what happened inside the temple. Much like after a funeral. And you needed to expel that wild emotion that could have shown itself.” Sweeping a hand wide, he gestured at the tent. “This… this isn’t right. ”
We’d obviously missed everything. The dinner and speeches were over. Mozart flowed from the string quartet. The sips of champagne accompanied the chatter and intrigue that hummed in my ears. A burst of laughter. The glide of feet dancing over parquet flooring.
My heels pushed into the soft earth as I shifted my weight, my eyebrows slashing upwards. “It’s not right. How can they act as if nothing has happened?”
“You’ve been sheltered from this, Nelle. This is our way, as it’s always been. The Estlore deaths aren’t the first we’ve witnessed before. And the Houses now will consider a reshuffle of alignments.”
I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest. “They’re a nest of snakes.”
He hummed his response, a yes , but also with the downward quirk of his lips, a no. “Not everyone feels the same.” His eyes slid to where House Troelsen and Simonis sat around a series of banquet tables, their mood a little more somber than the other guests. “They don’t. Neither do the Qillisans, Lyons, V?duvas, and I suspect a few more Houses. Elyse was well-liked, a skilled hunter. Her parents and House respected too.” He returned his gaze to me, tilting his head to say quietly, “Some of the smiles you see in there are masks. No one right now can afford to be seen as weak, or give away how they truly feel about what they witnessed in the temple. Especially if Sirro is still in there with them. Some will feel exactly like you. Don’t be too harsh on them.”
I chewed my bottom lip as I mulled over what he’d shared, turning my gaze back to the marquee thrumming with life. I had to wonder: would any of them now be suspicious of their family members? Were other Houses doing exactly what my family was—hiding an other? How many others were inside this very tent?
Though the number of guests had thinned, the marquee seemed full. However, as I scoured the faces, I didn’t see the Estlores.
Graysen took my hand, threading his fingers through mine, which set my nerve endings sparking, and caused a small, grateful smile to curve my mouth. He guided me again, and as we came close to stepping inside the entrance, frayed golden light spilling from lanterns strung from the ceiling gilded his edges. A few guests walked past and gave me a furtive glance when they saw who it was approaching, before offering a swift respectful bow.
“Sia and Alesk aren’t here,” I whispered.
“No,” Graysen confirmed, his voice a low rumble. “She’ll be home fortifying her House’s position, familiarizing herself with her new role. The Estlores will be watched for quite some time, and other Houses here will seek possible alignments, but most likely attempt to exploit her family’s weakened position.”
The Head of House V?duva was speaking with my father. I could see a few other family members, but Mela wasn’t present, and neither were any of her sisters. Mela . Her anguished sobs echoed in my mind.
“Mela… She’s your friend.”
Graysen’s brows drew forward, shadowing his dark eyes, and his voice was rough. “She is. She’ll be…” he cleared his throat. “She’s not going to be the same after Elyse.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
There was such resignation and exhaustion in his tone that my heart ached. He lifted a defeated shoulder. What could anyone do?
He brushed his thumb over my own, and his gaze slowly lowered to my lips. I watched his eyes darken and become molten. Felt it like a caress.
He was on me so fast I barely had time to bring up my hands. Grabbing hold of my waist, he whirled us behind the greenery where we were hidden by the low draping of palm fronds. Warm lips slammed upon my surprised mouth, hot and heavy with need, while his hand found its place at the back of my neck and his hips pinned me against a pole holding up the side of the marquee. His tongue slowly licked the roof of my mouth before curling around mine. Every stroke, every movement, wound me tighter and had heat building inside me. “I need some of your sunshine,” he breathed in between our kisses, scraping his teeth down my neck.
I groaned, and he swallowed the sound as his lips reclaimed mine.
My hands slid higher, along the lapels of his tuxedo, to the hair curling over the back of the stiff collar of his shirt. I drew him closer, pressing myself against his body. I wanted to crawl beneath his skin. I was lost to the fire that burned beneath my skin as his hand grazed down my spine to squeeze my ass. Lost to the feel of his hard chest against my softness, and the kiss that tasted of midnight and held a promise of delicious wickedness. Lost to him.
He pulled away, and I clutched his shirt collar. Dazed and lust-drunk, I pouted. “ More— ”
His huff of laughter washed over my cheeks. “Later. Besides, I need to check in with my family. I’ll find you afterward.” He placed a tender kiss on my forehead before letting me go and stepping back. I felt the loss, the cool air prickling my body where he’d once held me.
Observing Graysen was much like watching Evvie change herself into the perfect Wychthorn Princess with a regal posture and a mindless smile. Fascinating. Graysen’s warmth had gone, replaced by indifference and unreadable eyes as he drew his gaze over the festivities. Without a backward glance, he stalked inside.
I took a moment to compose myself before following, dampening down the fire that he’d stoked with his mouth and his tongue.
Holy Skalki, the guy can kiss.
As I strode through the marquee, the guests, physically nearest who had noticed my appearance amongst their number, bowed. I made my way to the raised platform where my family dined, holding court, the wall of wisteria behind them. My gaze skipped along the row of Pellans and Wychthorns, right to the end of the table where I would have sat. Graysen too. Had my family attended the entire meal with two empty seats, dinner plates, cutlery, and glasses untouched? Our absence would have been obvious to everyone attending the celebrations.
I eased into a vacant chair in between my sister and Aldan. The creature was now burned out, coiled into a tight knot and slumbering. Its energy had been expelled inside the woods, up into the sky, and also when Graysen had been inside me, too. I was sore in a way I’d never experienced before. Every part of me felt him. The memory of his body was imprinted on my own and I suspected the sensation would never disappear.
“Why, hello, little sister,” Annalise purred.
I fiddled with the halter neck of the dress I wore, a different outfit to what I’d worn for the Horned Gods Blessing. One I borrowed from Evvie's wardrobe. Even if our guests didn’t notice, my mother certainly would.
Would they know what I’d been up to?
Graysen and I had missed the dinner, the speeches, and the congratulations given to the couple.
Evvie, looking composed and elegant, sat at the other end of the table and spoke with Irma Pellan. There was an unfamiliar edge to Evvie, a sharpness I hadn’t seen in her before. The smile didn’t reach her eyes. In fact, she looked shrewd and calculating. The corner of my mouth curled upward. I liked it. I really liked that new look on her.
And Corné seemed positively uncomfortable sitting beside her .
Even better.
My gaze was tugged away and I knew who caused it before my line of sight landed on Graysen stalking around the banquet tables. The guests quickly parted to let him pass through their clustered groups.
He’d changed into, yet again , a new tuxedo, a classic three-piece with a black dress shirt. While I was loose-limbed with the sultry air of sex radiating from me, he looked composed, unruffled. No one would know that he’d just had sex. One look at me, at my heavy eyelids, the flush tinting my cheeks, my body still alight with aftershocks. Surely I’d given myself away?
A blush crept up my chest and throat as I caught the curious glances of guests. Gods, did they know? Could they know what I’d done simply by looking at me?
But shouldn’t it be acceptable to have sex with the man I was promised to marry? Except we’d never spoken about marriage. No plans had been made either, even though in a few weeks I’d turn twenty. And all those years ago, he swore he’d never marry me.
“Where have you been?” my mother asked in a hushed whisper as she leaned over Lise, shaking me out of those confusing thoughts.
“I-I… uh …I needed time alone to collect myself…after what happened to the Estlores.” Blood spraying across Sia’s ashen face burst inside my mind, and guilt that I had done nothing to stop it all sprang up, nearly suffocating me under its heavy weight. I’d stood there and watched it unfold. Ducking my head, I clenched the adamere bracelet with bone-white knuckles. My voice was barely a whisper when I continued. “I couldn’t be there. Be around the Houses. Be at that temple.” And that was the truth.
That’s all my mother needed to know, as she nervously darted her gaze over the guests, needing to reassure herself that no one suspected what I was. I heard the turning of the vial in her hand and the rattle of pills. Like my adamere bracelet, those tiny pills were her comfort and refuge.
“Yes, rather unfortunate,” she murmured.
Unfortunate? A chill rippled across my skin at the casual tone in her voice.
“Master Sirro has been asking after you,” she added.
Surprise rounded my eyes and had my spine snapping straight. “He has?”
“That’s what I came to warn you about,” Lise whispered. “He’s asked about you several times now.”
My gaze skirted the marquee, but I couldn’t see the Horned God anywhere
“The Heads have monopolized him,” my mother informed me, waiting until the servant pouring champagne into my glass had finished and walked away. “He’s probably been detained. Hopefully, he’s forgotten about you. But should he seek you out, you need to—”
“I know,” I said, interrupting her. Keep myself hidden. Don’t let him suspect.
My mother turned back to my father, who sat beside her. He cut a sharp glance my way and I gave a watery smile, one he didn’t return, his attention ensnared by Yoran Novak, who was discussing the transport of the tithes from our estate later tonight.
I reached for the champagne and took a long sip.
Oh gods. Master Sirro.
But maybe he’d left already. Maybe he’d given up on speaking with me.
“Anyway,” Lise said, splaying her hands on the crisp table linen. “Let’s talk about more pleasant matters. Let’s talk about Graysen Crowther and how good it was.”
I choked on my mouthful of champagne, coughing and hacking. Lise thumped me on the back, easing me through it, her delightful laughter peeling from her throat.
Gods, I knew she was going to grill me about it. But here, now?
Aldan was too busy talking to a nephew of Yoran Novak to notice what his wife had said. Thank gods.
When I’d regained my breath. I took another generous sip, then a second to steel myself against my sister and her undoubtedly endless questions, before placing the glass down. Her pouty mouth tipped up on one side. She was gloating and enjoying herself while doing so. “You heard me.” She tapped her finger on my nose, and I swiped her hand away. “Look at you. At that dazed look in your eyes. You’re glowing, Nelle. There’s only one way to get that kind of glow. And I should know,” she winked.
“Lise,” I hissed.
She wagged her eyebrows at me. Her bright gaze darted about the room until it rested on someone, her smile turning into a smirk. I knew who she was looking at because that innate feeling I possessed always knew exactly where he stood. Yet, I turned my gaze to stare at him. Graysen had joined his family on the outskirts of the main party, in the recesses of the tent. As he spoke to his father, a frown creased his forehead.
“What was it like?”
I gasped. “Lise.”
“Ah, come on, little sister, you heard all the details from me.”
Aldan chose that moment to listen in to that bit. He swiveled around in his seat, his massive upper body leaning over the table. “What did you say? ”
“You heard me, Mr. Big Ears,” Lise shot back.
I snickered. “Except that’s not what she called you that night.”
He fell into his seat with a heavy groan and raked his fingers through his short-cropped hair. “Please tell me you didn’t dissect that night with your sisters?”
“Every. Single. Detail.” Lise turned to me, propping her elbows on the table and her chin in her cupped hands. “Spill.”
Aldan pulled a horrified look at his wife. He rose so quickly that he caught the tabletop with his thighs and rocked the entire table. Snatching his glass up, he finished the bourbon in large gulps before thumping the empty tumbler down. “I’m not staying for this.” He strode off, jerking his chin at the Novak nephew, indicating he was to follow.
My sister, ignoring his departure, tapped her lips with her curled fingers, giving me a devious look. “Well?”
I let my wide-ass grin answer for me.
She swatted my arm, her blue eyes sparkling. “It was going to happen sometime. You two at one another’s throats was a fascinating kind of foreplay.” A servant arrived and went to pour another glass of orange juice for Lise, when she stopped him with a wave of her hand and a smile. She yawned, her eyelids lazily fluttering. “I think it’s time I called it a night.” Pushing her chair back, she started to get up. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Evvie asked me to give this to you. It came for you this morning.”
She opened her clutch, fished something out, and passed it to me.
It was small and rectangular in shape.
A letter.
There was something thin, yet firm, inside the envelope addressed to Evvie. My secret pen pal had sent me a special gift.
A smile teased my mouth right before the guilt at what I now shared with Graysen smothered that delighted feeling.
Lise rose from her seat, then bent over awkwardly to kiss the top of my head. Propping one hand on her hip, she rubbed her pregnant belly with the other. “We’ll talk further in the morning about what that’s all about.” Her gaze dipped pointedly to the envelope in my hands before she winked, then walked away, raising an arm to wave at Aldan.
Still, I was curious. After ripping Evvie’s letter open, I pulled out the second envelope addressed to me. Slicing it carefully open, I plucked out what was contained inside .
My brows rose in surprise. It was a bar coaster. An everyday coaster that sat beneath beer and wine and cocktails. My mouth widened into an excited grin, wondering where it came from while imagining what it must be like at the end of a working day to end up at one’s favorite watering hole, ordering your favorite drink. There were beer rings staining the coaster and stamped on its front in red lettering was ‘Firefly Bar.’
My secret pen pal scribbled a note on the back in their neat handwriting. I caught a glimpse at a couple of words— ‘middle of fuck-knows-where’ —when my attention was diverted. A shadow fell across the table as someone bowed and then settled into the empty chair beside me.
Danne Pellan.
The thing inside me bristled immediately.
I quickly tucked the coaster away in the pocket of my dress before he noticed and could ask questions.
Danne wore a navy tuxedo with a bowtie. He smiled and, for the first time, I noticed it wasn’t much of a smile. It seemed fake. A little desperate. “Nelle.”
“Danne,” I greeted, polite, yet coolly.
Lifting an arm, he clicked his fingers imperiously. Without even turning toward the servant, he indicated what he wanted by pointing at an empty champagne flute. The servant poured him a glass and before she faded into the background, I gave her my thanks because Danne clearly wasn’t going to.
My so-called friend’s nose twitched before he sniffed, then rubbed at his nostrils with the flat of his fingers. “Where have you been, Nelle? I’ve been waiting for you all this time. I had thought perhaps we could spend the evening together since I’ve seen so little of you this weekend.” Before I could even reply, he broke into a long, drawn-out, one-sided conversation about what he’d been up to during the engagement celebrations, the dull speeches, and why Evvie should have chosen a jazz band for the occasion. He drew breath, and as I was about to interrupt, knowing he wasn’t aware of how monopolizing he could be, when he blurted, “Why don’t we get out of here? We could go somewhere quieter, where we can be alone and catch up properly?”
I squared my shoulders. I could play innocent and polite, but why bother? One eyebrow arched icily. “I know what you did to Ferne.”
He froze. A notch formed between his brows. “Pardon?”
“Graysen told me everything.”
His mouth became a thin line as he drummed his knuckles on the table. “Graysen Crowther’s version. ”
“I believe him.”
His expression turned horrified. “Nelle…I’m your friend.”
“Are you?” Because now I wasn’t so sure. Graysen had asked how long Danne and I had been friends. Danne and I had grown close over the last few months. Since it was a long-distance sort of friendship, we traded messages mostly. However, whenever he accompanied Corné on one of his brother’s visits to Evvie, we chatted. But he hadn’t been interested in talking to me when we’d first met. Only recently.
“Yes, of course,” he spluttered, as if the idea was so preposterous. He frowned. “Come now, I know you better than Crowther does.” Swiping his hand down the front of his tuxedo, he then reached for his champagne and took a long sip, his throat working the fizzy liquid down.
“I’ve known Graysen for years,” I replied to Danne, though that wasn’t wholly true. “And if you’ve forgotten, Graysen and I have spent the entire year in each other’s company.” A presence one couldn’t ignore, no matter how each of us had tried. We’d discovered little quirks about one another. My relationship with Graysen wasn’t like how Danne implied—as if he and I had suddenly met. “I’m promised to Graysen,” I reminded him.
Danne grunted, and his mouth down-turned while his gaze blazed with anger. “Well, I pity you for that.”
For the first time, I didn’t. And it was a bit of a shock to discover how warmth and excitement fluttered inside my chest at the idea that I’d be married to Graysen. It didn’t seem like a prison sentence any longer.
I was too busy trying to tame my feelings for Graysen to notice Danne had leaned closer. His cologne filled my nostrils before I realized he had curled his hand around my upper arm and pressed his other hand over mine, pinning it to the table.
I tried to shirk his hand off my arm and tug my other hand free, but he wouldn’t let me.
Power coiled about my bones and filled my veins with ire.
The creature hissed, long and low, as I growled, “What the hells are you doing?”
Danne’s attention was elsewhere, though. He was staring over my shoulder. When I half-twisted around and followed his line of sight, I saw who was glaring back at him with a thunderous expression that looked as if he were considering flaying Danne alive with the dull edge of a butter knife.
Graysen.
He remained near the entrance of the marquee. Guests flowed in and out of the tent, but he stood stock still, making them move around him in the way the churning tide washed around a rock. But he didn’t approach us; in fact, one of his brothers, thumping him good-naturedly on the shoulder, jolted his attention elsewhere. Those dark eyes shifted away as he spun on his heel and followed his family outside.
Turning back, I saw the feverish glint in Danne’s gaze and the way his lips twitched, as if he were suppressing a sly smile. Gone a blink later, as that boyish smile reappeared. The one that promised he was safe. Comforting.
A chilly feeling inched down my spine.
“Let’s talk in private,” Danne said, flashing a friendly grin, ignoring the fact I’d shoved his hand off me and ripped my own from beneath his, to fold my arms across my chest. “I’d like to clear this ridiculousness up.”
Private? Not after what I’d discovered about him. He really thought I was a simpleton. I leaned closer to hiss, “How many girls, Danne? If I ask around, how many daughters of Houses will have similar stories to Ferne? How many would be worse?”
He blinked at my forthrightness. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he cut a furtive glance about the marquee to see if anyone had overheard me. “Please, just hear me out. There’s a little garden outside. It’s open and you wouldn’t be alone if that’s what’s worrying you. Meet me there and please let me explain. It’s nothing like what Graysen suggested at all.”
I leaned back, studying him.
He hadn’t been at the temple. I hadn’t seen him at all today. He’d obviously been off the estate. There was a purplish smudge below his eyes and scruff lining his jaw. He looked tired and jaded, as if he’d had little sleep or none at all. Had he been gambling again, like Graysen suggested?
I nodded slowly. “I’ll follow in a few minutes.”
He smiled gratefully. Pushing back the chair, he rose. “Thank you, friend .”
Dipping his upper body into an elegant bow, he said, before leaving, “I’ll be waiting.”