Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
James
I am screwing this all up.
I am tortured inside, while Tabitha breezily chatters with visitors to our tent. She talks about each book that the customers show an interest in. She offers stickers to the children. She helps the elderly find large-print editions.
She’s effortless in everything she does. And she does it all with a hangover.
While she busies herself with setting out more books on the depleted tables, I run over to the pumpkin waffle booth and grab some snacks for us.
“Nice! Thank you!” Tabitha says brightly.
I’ll say one thing: she doesn’t hold grudges. The Pierponts could teach her how to do that.
We eat together comfortably during a lull. Just when I think she’s forgotten all the rude things I’ve said, she stabs me again.
“Fourteen years,” she says.
“Context, please?”
“Yesterday, you said that you’d been working at the library for ten years, which is longer than I’ve been in the workforce. I started working in the kitchen at my dad’s restaurant when I was 10 years old. So, I’ve been in the work force for fourteen years.”
I blink at her and take several beats before I reply. “Setting aside child labor laws, what does that have to do with anything?”
“How long have you been in the workforce in total?” she asks.
“I started working at East Neighborhood Branch Library a year after I received my PhD.”
“Which was…”
“When I was 31.”
“Where did you work before that?”
Again, I blink at her, knowing full well I’m being raked over the coals despite her sweet demeanor. “I was working on my education.”
“But how did you put yourself through college? Where did you work? If we’re comparing how long each of us has been in the work force?”
“I spent a few years as a teaching assistant,” I say.
“Interesting. And what happened in that year between earning your PhD and when the library hired you?”
“I took a gap year to travel Southeast Asia.”
“Cool, cool. And why did it take that long to earn your PhD?”
I see where this is headed. “Because I also took a gap year after high school.”
“Fun.”
“And after earning my bachelor’s. And Master of Library Science.”
“Your life is so thrilling.”
We’ve finished with lunch, and the customers are back in hordes. We don’t get another long lull until the bazaar is nearly at an end, and we begin packing things away.
“Are you done doing the math about me?”
“Yes, yes I am,” Tabitha says. “You see, I’ve been working for fourteen years nonstop, even including when I’ve been in school.
As soon as I was old enough to wash a dish, my dad put me in an apron.
I decided right then and there that I never wanted a career in restaurants. I wanted to be around books.”
I can relate. Sort of. “After my mother died, I coped by reading. Anything and everything.”
I hate myself for even bringing this up. I don’t intend to play the sympathy card.
“I’m so sorry. How old were you?” Tabitha asks.
“Eleven. I’d just started sixth grade. I never wanted to be out of school. It was my father who encouraged me to take a break, take the gap years, and see the world. Yes, I realize how privileged that is, and I appreciate every moment.”
Tabitha reaches over and covers my hand with hers. “I’m truly sorry you lost your mom and your dad. I should not have judged you so harshly.”
“And you didn’t deserve me being such an ass to you. At any time.”
Tabitha leans back and grins. “I think we have a lot more in common than we realize.”
Her smile leaves a warm spot at the center of my chest.
“Are you in a hurry? They’re showing You’ve Got Mail.”
“What is that? A horror movie about the old days of Hotmail?” I ask.
Tabitha laughs, and the sound spreads the warmth in my chest.
“No, but you’re funny.”
“Thanks. I don’t often hear that.”
“Well, you should talk more instead of writing emails,” she says.
A moment passes where I’m just staring at her, in awe of her at this golden hour, as the sun is reflected off the buildings, and lighting up the blue in her eyes. The autumn sunset makes her skin glow and her lashes sparkle. She looks like she’s not of this earth.
Tabitha clears her throat and says, “Anyway, it’s a romantic comedy and they’re showing it on the lawn over there.”
She takes my silence as hesitation instead of what it is, feeling in awe that she’s asking to spend more time with me.
“I’ve already packed up the chairs,” I say.
“I have a blanket in the trunk of my car for just such an occasion.”
I shudder to think what sitting on the hard ground for two hours will do to my back, but I go with it. I’d be an idiot not to.
The movie is amusing, and there’s something in the main character that reminds me of Tabitha, but I can’t put my finger on it.
At some point, she leans back and our shoulders touch.
It could be an accident, but I take advantage of it anyway.
I adjust so she’s putting more weight on my shoulder.
Before long, she’s fully leaning against me.
My arm is around her, with my hand anchored to the blanket.
Is this happening? Is she really getting cozy with me? Me, the least cozy person I know.
She glances over at me and blinks, our eyes meeting for a long moment.
I lean in and kiss her.
It’s quick, yet I linger over her soft lips and inhale her scent. The brush of lips feels forbidden, and I want more, but she pulls away, blushing a deep red. I reach up and smooth her long hair off her shoulder.
Her nostrils flare slightly.
“We should pay attention to the movie. I love this next part,” she says.
“Sure,” I say. “Absolutely.”
I’ve completely lost the plot of the movie as my entire body has gone as rigid as my cock.
And yet, despite the log in my trousers, all I want to do for the rest of my life is watch her watching this movie.
When the two main characters kiss, Tabitha’s throat bobs. She turns to me, slowly blinking.
“I’m thinking of something very bad right now.”
“What bad thing are you thinking about, Tabitha?”
Her eyes flick down to my mouth and back up.
I lean in and press my lips to hers. The second touch of her mouth to mine is sweet perfection. She tastes like maple syrup from the waffles we ate.
Following her lead, I don’t deepen the kiss until she leans in, her body asking for more.
What in the hell am I doing, kissing a fellow employee who is 18 years younger than me?
I should stop, but instead I thread my fingers through her hair, softly combing her strands. She sighs into my mouth so sweetly, conjuring up the fantasy of having her in my bed. How would she want me to kiss her if we were in private? What noises would she make? How would she demand to be touched?
My cock twitches in my trousers, and I wish I were wearing jeans instead. Pretty sure that when I eventually stand up, I’ll be pitching a fierce tent for everyone in a mile radius to see.
Tabitha pulls away, and her perfect, full lips are shining. She smiles.
“You’re a good kisser. Who knew?”
I have no answer to that.
“What,” she says, rolling her eyes. “No one’s ever told you that, either?”
I laugh, then blurt, “Don’t take the job at Price Day School.”
“What?”
“Don’t take that job. Stay at the library.”
“Are you serious?”
“Do you know me as someone who teases a lot?”
Tabitha shakes her head.
“Why wouldn’t I? It would be a raise. I thought you would be happy for me.”
And then, because at heart I may be an ass after all, I say, “Is money all you care about?”
She bristles at that, and I can feel her stiffen against me.
“Wow, James.”
“I didn’t mean…”
She pulls away from me, and I hate it. “What did you mean?”
I try, “Money isn’t everything you need to consider, that’s all I’m saying.”
Tabitha nods, squinting at me like I’m an ancient specimen who doesn’t understand modern times. “Unfortunately for me, I have to think about money a lot. When you have money, you don’t have to think about it at all.”
“Tabitha. It’s just there are other factors.”
“Sure,” she says a little loudly, garnering a dirty look from another couple sitting on a blanket a few feet away. “You don’t get it, do you? How hard it is to afford everything right now. I have student loans. Do you?”
“I didn’t have any…don’t currently have any, I mean.”
She glances at my silk tie. “No, of course not. You didn’t need financial aid. So you can’t relate.”
“Come on, Tabitha. Forget I said anything. Let’s just enjoy the movie.”
“Next thing you’re going to do is tell me to calm down.”
“I wouldn’t.”
She watches me for a moment, then says. “I’m ready to go. Let’s get the rest of the stuff put away and get this done.”
I stand silently and fold the blanket for her, despite her reaching for it.
“I meant what I said about you not taking the job at Price Day School.”
A long moment passes, and she asks, “I need you to tell me the real reason you think so, before this conversation takes yet another turn that pisses me off.”
I look at her, really look at her.
“Because we need you at East Neighborhood Branch.”
She answers, “I wouldn’t have to fight so hard to get what the kids need.”
“The kids would miss you.”
She bites her lip. “Just the kids?”
“And the employees.”
“Which ones?”
I scoff. “All of them. You’re very popular, you know.”
She rolls her eyes. “Let’s go, Pierpont. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”
I wouldn’t want her to suffer being around me a second longer than she can stand. “You can go home if you want. I can pack it away tomorrow in storage.”
“Nah. I wouldn’t want you to throw out your back,” she jokes.
“Good one.”
“I mean, what if you fall down in the stacks and you can’t get up?”
“I have a phone for emergencies.”
“What, no Life Alert bracelet?”
Do I deserve this? Yes. Yes, I do.