Chapter 20 - Alyssa
Playing house with a Russian mobster shouldn’t feel this natural, but here I am packing sandwiches like we’re any normal couple heading out for a romantic afternoon.
“Ready for our adventure?” Maksim asks as he carries the picnic basket to his car, looking ridiculously handsome in jeans and a t-shirt. It’s nice to see him outside his usual suit and tie.
“Where exactly are we going?” I ask as I ease into the passenger seat.
“You’ll see,” he replies as he pulls onto the street. “It’s a surprise.”
“I hate surprises.”
“You’ll like this one.”
The drive takes us up winding roads that climb steadily away from the urban landscape below.
Trees line both sides of the highway, and the farther we travel, the more peaceful everything becomes.
After weeks of warehouse visits and family gatherings, the prospect of uninterrupted time with Maksim has me practically bouncing in my seat.
“Here,” he announces as we pull into a small parking area that overlooks the entire city.
The view steals the breath from my lungs.
Miles of buildings stretch out below us like a miniature model, and the harbor sparkles in the distance where cargo ships move like tiny toys across the water.
We’re high enough that the noise of traffic becomes a distant whisper, replaced by birdsong and the rustle of leaves overhead.
“This is incredible,” I breathe as Maksim spreads a blanket on the grass near the edge of the overlook.
“I come here sometimes when I need to think. It puts things in perspective.”
“What kinds of things?”
“Business decisions. Family problems. Beautiful women who turn my world upside down.”
The last comment makes heat creep up my neck, but I try to play it off with a chuckle. “Must be quite a problem, that last one.”
“The best kind of problem. The kind you don’t want to solve.”
We settle on the blanket with the city spread out in front of us like a living map. Maksim unpacks the basket and produces gourmet sandwiches, fresh fruit, and a bottle of wine that has a name I can’t pronounce.
“This beats warehouse lunches,” I comment before I bite into what might be the best sandwich I’ve ever tasted.
“The chef outdid himself. He’s been experimenting with new recipes since you mentioned you liked the pasta he made last week. He wants to find more dishes you like.”
“He’s cooking for me now?”
“Everyone at Ravenshollow is invested in keeping you happy. You’ve become something of a favorite.”
Over the past weeks, I’ve grown attached to the staff who treat me like family rather than an unwelcome intrusion. Harrison always has my coffee ready before I ask for it, and the gardener shows me new blooms whenever I walk through the grounds.
“I’ve never had that before,” I admit as I lean back on my elbows to take in the view.
“What?”
“People caring about my happiness just because someone they care about cares about me. My parents barely cared about their own happiness, let alone mine.”
Maksim fills my wine glass and replies, “Family isn’t always about blood. Sometimes it’s about the people who choose to make your well-being their priority.”
“Is that what you’ve done? Made my well-being your priority?”
“From the moment I saw you in that alley, yes.”
The sincerity in his voice makes my heart race in ways I’m not prepared to handle. This man has upended every assumption I had about dangerous people, about controlling relationships, and about what it means to be protected rather than possessed.
“Why?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.
“Because you looked like you needed someone to give a damn about what happened to you. And because the thought of anyone hurting you makes me want to burn the world down.”
“That’s a little extreme.”
“Not when it comes to you.”
We eat in comfortable silence after that, both of us lost in our thoughts while the city goes on far below. The wine relaxes me, and for the first time since Troy entered my life, I feel genuinely at peace.
“Tell me about before,” Maksim eventually prompts. “What did you want to be when you grew up?”
“A marine biologist. I wanted to explore the ocean, discover new species, and maybe work on coral reef preservation.”
“What changed?”
“Reality. Marine biology doesn’t pay the bills, especially not when you’re putting yourself through college. Business seemed more practical.”
“Do you regret it?”
I consider the question while watching a hawk circle overhead. “I used to. But if I’d stuck with marine biology, I never would have ended up here.”
“Here, being a picnic with a criminal?”
“Here being the first place I’ve ever felt like I belonged.”
The admission surprises us both. I didn’t mean to be quite so honest, but the wine and the peaceful setting have lowered my usual defenses.
“You belong at Ravenshollow,” Maksim declares with absolute conviction. “You belong with my family. You belong with me.”
“Maksim…”
“I know it’s quick. I know you have every reason to be cautious about getting involved with someone like me. But I can’t pretend this is just physical.”
My heart pounds against my ribs as I process what he’s telling me. This powerful, dangerous man is laying his feelings bare, making himself vulnerable in ways that probably don’t come naturally to him.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that somewhere along the way, protecting you stopped being about duty and started being about something else.”
“Something else, like what?”
He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Something else, like caring about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. Like wanting to give you the world and asking for nothing in return except the chance to make you happy.”
The words should terrify me. They should trigger every alarm bell I’ve developed about men who want to take care of me. Instead, they make me want to close the distance between us and show him exactly how much his honesty means to me.
“I care about you, too,” I whisper. “More than I should, considering how we met.”
“How much more?”
“Enough that I worry about you when you’re handling business at the docks. I want your family to like me because they matter to you, and the thought of leaving makes me feel hollow inside.”
“Then don’t leave.”
I groan and answer, “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
Because I’m terrified of needing someone this much, I think but don’t say. Every man who’s ever claimed to care about me has eventually used that care as a weapon, and falling for Maksim feels like jumping off a cliff without knowing if there’s water below.
“Because I don’t know how to do this,” I say instead. “I don’t know how to be part of a couple, part of a family, or part of something bigger than myself.”
“You don’t have to know how,” Maksim offers with the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. “You just have to want to learn.”
“And if I’m terrible at it?”
“Then we’ll figure it out together.”
The sun begins to set as we pack up our picnic, and the hues it creates reflect off the windows of buildings below. The entire afternoon has felt like something out of a dream, too perfect to be real but too wonderful to end.
“Thank you,” I tell Maksim as we walk back to the car.
“For what?”
“For this. For showing me what peace feels like.”
He stops walking and turns to face me. “Alyssa, I need you to understand something. This isn’t just a nice afternoon for me. This is what I want our life to look like.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean afternoons like this, dinners with my family, and quiet evenings at home. Building something real and permanent instead of just surviving from one crisis to the next.”
The picture he paints is beautiful and terrifying in equal measure. Part of me wants to throw myself into his arms and promise him anything he wants. The other part whispers warnings about fairy tales that end badly.
“I want that too,” I admit. “But wanting something and being able to have it are different things.”
“What would it take for you to believe you could have it?”
“Time, I think. Time to prove to myself that this isn’t just adrenaline and convenience and gratitude for rescuing me.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know. However long it takes for me to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
He nods like he understands, though I can see disappointment in his eyes. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
The drive home is quieter than the trip up, mostly because I’m lost in my own head. My feelings for Maksim are growing stronger every day, but so is my fear of what those feelings might cost me if I let them fully take root.
Over the next few days, I will avoid him whenever possible. Not because I don’t want to be around him, but because I want it too much. Every glance, every casual touch, every moment of domestic normalcy makes it harder to maintain the emotional distance I need to think clearly.
“Going somewhere?” Maksim asks as I grab my purse and keys on Thursday morning.
“Shopping. I need some things from the mall.”
“Want company?”
“I’m fine on my own. It’s broad daylight, lots of people around. What could happen?”
“Famous last words,” he grumbles, but he doesn’t try to stop me, which I’ll take as a win. Though I have little doubt security will be close behind.
The mall is exactly what I need—anonymous crowds, mindless consumerism, and enough sensory distraction to quiet the constant loop of thoughts about Maksim running through my head. I spend two hours browsing stores and buying small items I don’t really need.
The food court seems like a safe place to sit and people-watch while I sort through my emotional turmoil. Families with strollers, teenagers in clusters, elderly couples sharing pretzels—all the normal human interactions that make my life seem surreal by comparison.
“Alyssa.”
The voice behind me makes every muscle in my body freeze. I turn slowly, hoping I’m wrong, but there’s no mistaking the face that’s haunted my nightmares for months.