11. Kennedy
CHAPTER 11
KENNEDY
F reshly showered and completely exhausted, I lie back on the bed and just remain still for a few moments. I really should get up and get something to eat, but doing that requires energy, and I’m fresh out of that.
Between chasing the loose cattle down, herding them toward the pasture closest to the house, the evening milking of the dairy cows, and rubbing down the horses after the ride, I’m not even sure how I managed to find the strength to shower.
Though it felt really, really good.
It’s nights like these I’d love to go sit outside on the porch and breathe in the fresh air, but I’m too afraid Arthur is going to use that as an opportunity to harass me all over again. I’ve managed to avoid him most of the day, but that’ll change if he corners me. And based on how furious Bradyn was last night, I’m not sure a broken nose will be the biggest of Arthur’s problems should he choose to grab me like that again.
There’s a knock at my door, and I groan.
I really don’t want to get up.
Another knock.
Keeping my firearm close, I force myself to get out of bed and head over toward the door. After peeking out the peephole, I set my firearm in a kitchen drawer and pull open the door for Lani.
“Hey, I brought food!” She steps inside with a white bakery box seated on top of a pizza box. It smells amazing.
“Did you read my mind? I was just thinking about how hungry I am.”
“Seems like I showed up just in time then,” Lani replies and sets the pizza on the counter. She heads toward the far cabinet and retrieves two plates then offers me one.
I’ve only known her a short period of time, but it feels like we’ve been friends a whole lot longer. Which is honestly great. Aside from the fact I’m going to have to leave one day, and she’ll never know why.
It makes me think of— No, Kennedy.
“What kind of pizza did you bring?” Shoving thoughts of the past down, I check the box and nearly groan with delight when I see double cheese and pepperoni staring me in the face. “This looks fantastic.”
“Gio’s,” Lani replies. “He’s the best.”
“Definitely the best.” I put a piece onto my plate then head over toward the two-seater table where Lani is already sitting and take the chair across from her.
Lani bows her head. “Lord, we thank You for this food we are about to eat. We thank You for bringing us through today and allowing us this time to spend together. In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
I open my eyes and take a bite. Salty cheesy deliciousness dances on my tongue. “This is so good.”
“Best pizza in the south. I’m convinced. So how was today?”
“It was long.”
“How’s your hand?”
I hold it up. “Not too bad.”
Lani takes my hand and inspects my knuckles. “You wouldn’t even know these were nose-breaking knuckles.”
I smile and take another bite of pizza. “I feel so bad.”
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on you.”
“No,” I say. “But I hardly think my hitting him was an appropriate response.”
She sets her pizza down and takes a drink of water. “Why did you hit him?”
“What do you mean? I told you, he grabbed my arm.”
“Sure, and I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but why did you hit him? Did he do something else, too? Back you into a corner?”
How do I tell her it’s because I’ve been stuck in fight mode for the last two years? How do I explain to my new friend that the reason why I hit first and ask questions later is because, the one time I didn’t trust my gut, everyone I loved died?
“Just instinct, I guess. Something I need to work on.”
She doesn’t respond, just takes a bite of pizza. “How did Bradyn take it?”
“What do you mean? Didn’t you talk to him?”
“Sure, but I got the muted big-brother version. I want to know how he took the news live. Come on, Sammy, spill.”
“He was angry. Wanted to fire him.”
“He should’ve fired him. I’m actually surprised he didn’t.”
“I asked him not to.”
Lani grins. “Interesting.”
“What’s interesting?”
“Oh, just that he didn’t fire him.”
“Why is that interesting?”
Lani takes another bite then swallows it down with a swig of water. “Bradyn is very black and white in a lot of ways. This ranch is one of those things. He doesn’t let things slide here. He’s more than willing to give someone a chance, even a second chance a lot of times. But Arthur putting hands on you? On top of his lack of performance in his actual job? Those are both grounds for firing, yet he let him stay. All because you asked.”
I try not to read too much into that. The last thing I need is Lani feeding the delusion that Bradyn Hunt might actually be interested in me. Especially when nothing can come of it. “I’m sure he just felt bad for me. I was pretty panicked that he would fire me.”
“Maybe.” But Lani doesn’t look convinced. “Do you like my brother? As a boss, of course.” She grins, letting me know that’s not how she meant it at all.
“He’s great to work for. And with. All of them are.”
“But Elliot’s not who you went to when you broke Arthur’s nose. You went to Bradyn when any of them could have handled it for you.”
“Bradyn’s just who answered the door. I went to your parents’ house.”
“Uh-huh. All in God’s timing.” Lani grins.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Frustration gnaws at my earlier exhaustion.
“I just mean that it’s interesting how Bradyn was at my parents’ house at the exact time you arrived.”
I take a bite of pizza. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Sure, I will. One day.” She grins. “So, what were you planning to do tonight before I crashed your solo party?”
“Crawl into the kitchen and make something to eat. Then probably have some tea and do some reading.”
She glances at my bedside table. “The Bible?”
“What? Oh. No. That was my mom’s.” I get up and tuck it into the bedside table before returning to finish my pizza.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s okay. I just had it out because I was looking for something.”
“What?”
“A psalm my mom used to read out loud occasionally. It popped into my head last night, and I was looking for it because I can’t remember anything but the first two sentences.”
Lani finishes off her water. “What are the sentences? I’ve been studying the Bible ever since I was old enough to talk. I might be able to help.”
I consider letting her in on this. It’s personal, which is typically on the no list of conversation topics, but since I can’t see what it would hurt, I recite words my mother spoke more times than I can count. “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”
“Ahh, yes. That’s a good one.” She stands. “May I?” she asks, gesturing toward the bedside table.
“Sure.”
Lani crosses the small cabin and retrieves the Bible then heads back. She sets it down, completely ignoring the faded blood splatter on the worn leather Bible. I’ve tried so hard to get it out, but nothing works. It remains there, branded onto the cover like my grief is tattooed on my soul.
“Here it is,” she says. “Psalm 46.” She offers me the Bible, and I take a look at the words printed in black and white.
“‘So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge.’ That’s the one. Thanks.”
“Anytime. That’s cool that you have her Bible.”
“Yeah. Helps me feel close to her.”
“Do you want to talk about her?”
Yes. “No, I’m okay, thanks. I’m all about leaving the past in the past.” Especially since not doing so could lead to me being discovered.
“Fair enough. Here if you change your mind.” She cleans up our plates then brings the bakery box over to the table.
“What’s that?”
“Dessert,” she replies with a grin then removes the cover of the box, revealing a perfectly delicious-looking assortment of cookies. Everything from frosted to chocolate chip.
I select the latter. “So tell me about that deputy.”
“What deputy?” Her cheeks redden. “Oh, you mean Gibson?”
“If he’s the one you were chatting up at the café the other night, then yes.”
She grins. “That obvious?”
“Most definitely.”
She groans. “He’s the only one who won’t pick up on it. We went to school together, and I always had such a thing for him. He was cute, smart, kind…but we were just friends. I thought when I got back from school, maybe things would change, but he ended up marrying Kleo Yarring.” She makes a frustrated expression.
“I’m guessing you didn’t like her.”
“She was awful. And after they’d been married a year, she left him for a musician she’d been having an affair with since even before they were married.”
“That’s horrible.”
“It was. By the time I got home, he was so heartbroken that he could barely hold a conversation. I’ve been trying to keep close enough that, maybe when he’s open to it, he’ll see me. You know?”
“I know.” I offer her a smile. “He’ll see you.”
“Maybe. Hopefully before I start going gray,” she jokes. “I want a family. It’s one of the main reasons I haven’t started my house yet.”
“Started your house?”
“Our parents gifted us each an acre to build our house on. My brothers have all finished theirs, but I’ve been holding off because the last thing I want to do is live in a big house all by myself. My apartment is bad enough as it is.”
Given the amount of time I’ve spent alone over the last couple of years, I completely see where she’s coming from.
“Your brothers weren’t worried about that?”
She snorts. “No, but after getting home from a mission, they enjoy the solitude. Bradyn came home last year and spent an entire week alone.”
“A week?”
She nods. “I’m still not sure what happened. None of them talk in any detail about what they’re doing, but whatever it was, was bad. I hated it for him. He stayed in his house and prayed his way out of the hole.”
“I imagine they deal with a lot of bad stuff.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know for sure, but that’s where I’d place my money, too.”
Lani begins talking about Gibson again, but my thoughts linger on Bradyn. I can’t see him locking himself in the house, especially since, the day after he was back, he’d asked me to join him on an early morning ride.
What happened that shook him so much he didn’t want to leave his house?
My gaze drops to the still-open Bible. After what I went through, I can barely look at it. So how does Bradyn maintain his faith even in the face of everything he deals with?