Chapter 61
FINLEY
Do it.
Cross the road.
It won’t kill you.
The words loop in my head like a dare, but my feet stay planted on the sidewalk, Samson’s leash coiled tight around my hand.
The sea glints at me from across the street, all sunlit blues and silvers, the same view Elijah coaxed me toward a couple of days ago.
That day, with him beside me, I made it all the way down to the sand.
Without him here? My chest cinches tighter the longer I stare at the crosswalk.
Samson sits at my heel like he knows I’m stalling, tail sweeping across the pavement in steady thumps.
He’s quieter than yesterday. Last night, when I settled him into his bed beside Elijah’s, the house felt emptier than it has in weeks.
Like it wasn’t just my guys leaving for the road trip, but the life that’s filled every corner of my days lately.
I miss them. Both of them.
Jayden’s laugh echoing through the apartment, his warm hands at my waist every time he walks by like he can’t help touching me. Elijah’s calm presence lingering in doorways, the faint trace of his cologne trailing after him like a second heartbeat in the hallways.
Waking up in his bed this morning, wearing one of Jayden’s shirts—one he slept in so it would smell like him—didn’t ease the ache in my ribs one bit.
A pair of arms wraps around me from behind, jarring me out of my head.
“Dude!”
I jerk forward as Christina laughs in my ear, already bending to greet Samson, who instantly forgets I exist in favor of slobbering all over her.
“You scared the crap out of me,” I say, my pulse still hammering.
“Looked like you needed rescuing from your own thoughts.” She drops a meat stick into Samson’s eager jaws and scratches behind his ears. “Hi-yah, handsome boy. Look at you. So big. So pretty.”
He leans all sixty pounds of himself against her legs, tail wagging like she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
“You spoil him,” I tell her, but my voice comes out softer than I mean it to.
“Better than you moping on the corner like a stray cat,” she fires back, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we start walking. “They’re back in four days. You can survive four days. Until then, you have me.”
I glance at her. “And your mystery meat sticks.”
“They’re keto-friendly,” she says primly, tearing open another one with her teeth before handing the rest to Samson.
“They look like dog treats.”
“Don’t food shame me, Finley,” she says with a mock glare before laughing at herself.
It pulls at something in my chest that I didn’t realize was coiled so tight.
With her arm looped around mine, she tugs me along like she’s dragging me back into the world.
By the time we hit the park, Samson is dragging us like he’s on a mission, his leash yanking taut until we finally unclip him in the fenced-in area. He takes off in wild, looping circles, a blur of paws and ears.
Christina drops onto a bench with a groan, patting the spot beside her. “So… the boys.”
I roll my eyes, sitting. “Here we go.”
“Here we go,” she repeats with a smirk.
“They’re… good,” I say slowly, picking at the hem of my sleeve.
“Good,” she echoes, bumping her shoulder into mine. “That’s the best you’ve got? Good?”
“They make me feel…” My words knot together before I can finish.
She doesn’t push, just watches me quietly, her hand covering mine on my knee.
So, I deflect. “What about Matheo?”
Her smirk turns wicked. “I told you already. Monster dick. Hips made by God himself. Puts the stallion in Brazilian.”
I groan, shoving her shoulder lightly. “That makes zero sense.”
“It will if you ever ride a Brazilian stallion,” she fires back, and I dissolve into helpless laughter right there on the bench.
We watch Samson wrestle a stick out of the dirt like it personally insulted him.
Christina tells me about her dad’s New Year’s Eve gala and the vintage dress she bought for it.
About her GYN appointment next week and how I need to get myself sorted for birth control before Jayden and Elijah get back.
The heat crawling up my neck at that makes her cackle.
“Relax,” she says, looping her arm through mine again as we start walking. “No one’s going to hurt you for taking care of yourself.”
“I know,” I say, and for the first time, I realize I mean it. The thought lands solid in my chest, not like the old fear still crouching in the corners of my head, waiting to spring.
Samson barrels back toward us at full speed, mud flying off his paws.
“Don’t you dare—” I start, but he launches at me like I’m the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
Christina shrieks when I grab at her for balance, and we both go down in the dirt, arms and legs tangled, dog slobber everywhere.
“Abort! Abort!” she yells, laughing so hard she can’t get up while Samson barks like this is the best game he’s ever played.
By the time we wrangle him off, we’re a mess. Muddy, breathless, and laughing until my stomach hurts.
Christina flops back on the bench, hair sticking to her cheeks. “Okay. New plan. Shopping, then dinner, then a movie.”
I blink at her, wiping dirt off my sleeve. “I’ve never been to the movies.”
“And we’re fixing this tonight,” she declares. “You can’t give the boys all the firsts, Fin. Some belong to me as your bestie.”
I grin despite myself. “Fine.”
“Fine,” she echoes, linking her arm through mine again as we call Samson over.
For the first time since the guys left, the emptiness in my chest doesn’t feel so heavy.