22. Lorant
22
LORANT
A s I sat on the rail, the moonlight spiked down on me, but I barely felt its touch.
Because I knew wildfire was coming the moment she left her suite. Not from the soft sounds of her shoes on the deck below, though that came later when she climbed the steps. No, this went deeper than sound, like a tether pulling at my awareness of her presence.
I welcomed it, not with the calm stillness, no, the harshness I used with the world, but with a crackling intensity that heightened all my senses. My pulse flailed; a beast gone wild.
It was worse this time. The tightness in my chest flared hot, and my grip on the rail hardened until the wood creaked beneath my fingers. I could feel her approach, her energy radiating outward to seep into me.
She paused at the top of the stairs .
Turn away. Go back to your suite. Avoid me and let yourself fall into Merrick’s arms. He craves you already.
But she didn’t go back to her suite to wait for the king. Her determined footsteps sounded across the wooden deck, each one yanking on the thread of feeling I’d rather burn than admit was there.
I clenched my jaw, but the gesture did nothing to release the need growing inside me. How ironic. I could master the elements, manipulate air, turn water solid, and yet, here I was, easily torn apart by one insignificant woman.
Not an insignificant woman. Her .
Reyla stopped beside me, resting her hands on the rail. She stared toward the open sea, saying nothing. I didn't speak either, because what could I say? What did I want to say? There was . . . too much.
And not nearly enough.
Farris sat beside her, his small body a gray shadow in the moonlight, his ears twitching as he took in the night through the gap in the rail.
The soft rush of waves against the hull was the only sound between us for a long time, yet it didn’t make the quiet more bearable. If anything, it grated on my nerves, sliding beneath my skin. Poking me.
From the way Merrick gushed and the high color in his face, I knew things were going well for them. I was glad for him. How could I be anything less? I wanted this for him. Even for her.
But the need churning inside me . . .
I should hate her.
No. Not hate, but I should keep her at arm’s length like I did everyone else. Building walls was what allowed me to survive, to live for the moment I was destined for from the time I drew in my first breath.
I slid off the rail to stand beside her, trying not to look at her, but my will to resist shredded much too easily. Moonlight glinted off her fiery hair. By the fates, why did the light have to catch it in ways that made it shimmer like flames dancing in the darkness?
I couldn’t stop my gaze from traveling over her frame. Why bother pretending I could? I memorized every line and curve of her, the way her simple tunic and pants barely contained her lithe body. And those damn eyes, wide rings of warmth mixed with a cool determination that made my insides clench whenever our gazes met.
Earlier, Merrick's voice had brimmed with an excitement that clawed at my guts. My possessiveness grew stronger with each of his words. It roared to the surface as she stood beside me now, and I welcomed the jealousy and let it simmer, because this feeling was better than drowning in weakness.
“Why are you here, Reyla?” The words came out sharper than I’d intended. Honestly, I’d aimed for the sting. But the silence between us gnawed at me, grating at the jagged edges of whatever I wasn’t willing to name, not even to myself.
She shrugged, not meeting my gaze, keeping hers fixed on the dark water, the moonlight casting slivers of silver across the surface. “I needed fresh air. It's stuffy inside my cabin.”
“It's pure opulence,” I sneered. “Were you expecting something fancier?”
“I was a dragon trainer. I thought I was an orphan, nothing else,” she said with a matching fury. “In case you're not aware, fortress life isn’t one of luxury. We had clothing. Enough food to keep starvation at bay. Each other. But we trained ferocious beasts and let me tell you, they're not sweet little nyxin like Farris.”
“I'm well aware of how dragons behave.” After all, they were once . . .
I lost the thought as soon as it swam through my mind.
Reyla huffed.“And when we weren't training them, we rode them, swooping down on the villages below to battle with fierce creatures attacking the vulnerable. We died, Lore, and too often.” Her voice cracked. “So many died.” Her chin lifted, and her jaw turned rock solid. “We loved each other too much to lose even one. So, no, I didn't expect anything fancy, though it would be odd to stuff the future queen of your court into a tiny cabin. I told you. I wanted fresh air.”
To dispel the kiss I knew— knew —she'd shared with Merrick?
“Fresh air. Is that all this is?” I chuckled coldly, the sound bitter even to my own ears. I leaned forward, bracing my forearms on the rail. “Well, you’ve got it now. Take a deep breath. Fill those pretty lungs of yours with it. Then you can scurry back to your suite like a good girl.” Like she’d done last night.
There was no missing the stiffening of her spine, the tension in her grip on the rail. I liked seeing it more than I should. The spark of fire I’d sensed in her from the moment she stepped aboard this ship, the one that had drawn me to her whether I liked it or not, flickered in her now, barely contained.
And the fates help me, but I couldn't resist fanning it. As long as she remained beside me . . . As long as she didn't run . . .
When we’d stood on the deck in front of that frilly, flower-beleaguered arch in front of the captain, she'd said I do to me.
Me .
Even if I'd signed Merrick's name on the papers.
“Good girl? Is that what you think I am?” she said.
I hoped so because a good girl would soon flee from me.
She glanced my way, her gaze a quick stab. “You’re an ass. We've established that already.” Her voice held an edge that hinted at both frustration and . . . something darker running beneath the surface. “I came up here to get away for a bit. If that bothers you, feel free to let me know. Or better yet, shut your mouth and keep scowling at the sea. Or leave. You don’t own this spot on the deck.”
I smirked at her, shifting my weight to fully face her. “What is it between us, Reyla? Why do you keep coming to me?” Perfectly honed arrogance flowed through my voice, keeping it steady despite the twisting feeling settling deep in my gut.
“Friendship?”
I snorted. “We'll never be friends, Wildfire.”
“Don't call me that,” she said with a gouge of her fingertip on my exposed forearm.
Even that simple touch lit me aflame.
“Face the truth,” I drawled. “You’re not running away from me because you don’t want to. Just like I’m not letting you go because I can’t.”
A muscle tightened in her jaw, and a flash of something unreadable flitted across her features before she quickly shuttered them with that wall she was quite good at building between us. Her mouth curved into a taunt, but her tone lacked what she intended. “I’m married to Merrick. You need to accept that. Whatever this is between us . . . Realize like I do that it’s nothing.”
It took effort, but I laughed, keeping it as cold and distant as the wind whipping across the sails. “You’re right. It's nothing. Who’s going to care either way when we reach the shore tomorrow? We'll travel to Evergorne, and there, you'll belong to him.” My voice softened even as the bite of jealousy clawed harder this time, adding a brittleness to my words. “Go back to your cabin and forget about me. I'm sure you'll find a way.”
She turned toward me with her chin tipped and her eyes flashing embers. “I don’t need another storm in my life, Lore, especially not with you. You leave. I'm your queen.” Oh, so haughty. “I command you to go below deck this instant.”
Beneath her words, doubt whispered. Regret, maybe, as well. A small crack that carried more weight than anything else.
I wanted to drag my nail along that line to see how far I could rip it open.
“So prissy,” I said. “Perfect for Evergorne.”
“What does that mean?”
“That tone you’ve perfected already. It’s queenly. It tells me you’re ready for what awaits you at court.”
“What should I expect, exactly?”
“When we arrive, you’ll be the queen consort, but it won’t matter. Yes, you'll be crowned. Yes, the entire court will bow deeply. But you're new. Vulnerable.” Much too vulnerable. This woman felt everything, and they'd pounce on that and use it against her. “They'll tease their elaborate games like always, only now, you’ll be the centerpiece of each play. They’ll bite at you from every angle, looking for ragged areas in your resolve, weaknesses they can sink their claws into and exploit.” I paused, watching the slight shift in her posture. “It’s a court born of secrets, Reyla, and those secrets are hungry.”
“Then teach me how to fight them.”
A challenge right there.
“Tonight?” I asked with a sneer. “I won’t live long enough to teach you all you need to know.”
“Will you disappear once we reach the castle?”
“My duty, my purpose, remains strong.” In that, if nothing else.
“We could find time for the lessons I need.”
“I believe those . . . lessons need to come from your husband, my queen .”
“He’s a wonderful man. I see that already.”
Jealousy lashed through me, but I did my best to stifle it before it took control. She needed to care for him. Love him, actually.
As for me?
I didn’t know what I needed from this woman, but I was on a track with no way off, and perhaps, like Merrick, I needed to hold on and let it happen.
Fuck it.
Fuck her .
We said nothing for too long a time before the words climbed up my throat. “You didn't come here solely for fresh air.” My eyes stayed on the sea, but my lungs refused to move air .
“No,” she said simply.
Her voice, soft and low, hit me with the same force as a blade, slicing away at the control I clung to. It wasn’t in the words, but in the way her voice trembled, how it betrayed something I understood too well. Yearning paired with regret.
“I should remain in my cabin,” she said starkly. “I’ve kissed him. More than once! And . . .”
I still couldn’t breathe.
“I liked it.” Her voice hollowed out. “I guess I should like it since that’s my role, right?”
In many ways, yes.
Reyla wasn’t pretending. She wasn’t wearing the mask too many others did. And maybe that was what made this all the more dangerous. She was real, and it was that realness that was threatening to tear down my walls.
She was right in front of me. Not leaving like she knew she should. Not scurrying back to her cabin to lie in bed and dream about Merrick.
Maybe . . .
I shouldn’t take advantage.
Fuck it all. For the rest of this wretched night, I wanted her to dream about me.
“What do you really want from me, Lore?” So much emotion in her voice. And she still didn’t leave. “Tell me.”
I wanted peace in a world consumed with hunger for power. I wanted to see the king live past his thirtieth birthday.
But more than anything else, I wanted her .
That realization, that sick, deep-rooted truth, stabbed through me .
A glance around showed we were alone except for the nyxin who sniffed at the ropes, seeking mice.
I took her hand and tugged her into the shadows at the back of the cabin wall, where I lifted her off her feet and pressed her against that rough surface. Then I leaned in close enough to suck in her heady scent. Drown myself in its wonder.
“Tell me to stop,” I rasped across her neck. “ Tell me .”
She shook her head.
“Eyes on me, Wildfire,” I growled, too far gone now to pull back. “Use your words and use them now. Or else.”
Her breathing hitched as I brushed my thumb across her lower lip, soft and trembling beneath my touch. I felt the crack in her resolve widen, exposing the same vulnerability floundering within me. Fates curse us both, but any semblance of control I had shattered.
I closed the sliver of distance separating us and growled when her legs went around me.
My lips found hers in a rough, desperate kiss that only heightened the howling storm in my chest.
I'd fought in more battles than I wanted to count. I’d navigated courts ripe with treachery. I’d seen men damn themselves for less than what I stole from this woman. But I was willing, eager even, to face oblivion if it meant tasting her this one time.
Her mouth met mine with the same fever, fiery and unyielding. Not hesitant. Not one bit. She didn’t just accept what I was giving. No, she claimed it. She wanted this as much as I did. The depth of that realization hit me harder than any punch, and I kissed her with more heat, slanting my mouth across hers, making her give me everything she’d buried deep inside .
Her lips softened, yet her kiss was anything but gentle. It was a tidal wave, surging toward shore, as if she was determined to drown herself in me as much as I was in her.
A groan escaped my throat as her hands found my chest, her fingers curling around the fabric of my tunic. She tugged me closer, and I tightened my grip on her ass, pulling her hard against me until there was no space between us.
Let her feel how much I craved her. Let her realize what we were doing and pull away.
Her fingers latched onto my shoulders, and she clung.
I threaded my fingers into her hair and fisted it at the nape of her neck, holding her to me as if I could keep her there forever. It was selfish, but it was vulnerable and true, and I didn’t care anymore.
Her taste . . . fates, it was intoxicating. Her tongue slipped between my lips, and I met it with my own. Each slow, deliberate stroke of our tongues sent heat coursing through me. I had to fight to keep whatever semblance of restraint I had left from crumbling entirely.
My hand slid from her waist, down the curve of her side, my palm running over her hip. I reached back up to cup her breast, feeling her gasp against my mouth before she pressed harder into my touch. I ran my thumb over her nipple, drawing a moan from her that sent fire blasting through my veins.
We were lost, both of us. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not Merrick. Not whatever sense of duty I clung to. Not the rising chaos that was waiting for us at Evergorne.
Just her.
Just this.