34. Reyla
34
REYLA
I t was all I could do to make my body move as we left the throne room. My legs shook from spent passion, and my brain spun. I didn’t want to think about what this meant in relation to my past. For this one time, I wanted to savor the bliss I’d found with Merrick without letting guilt or a feeling of betrayal ruin it.
Would it be so horrible for me to find joy with someone new?
Out in the hall, Merrick stopped, turning to face me.
What looked like a full battalion of guards stood on either side of the enormous doors leading to the throne room. Three men in long dark robes waited at the end of the hallway, their stern expressions focused on Merrick.
Had they all heard me scream? Please tell me they hadn’t. Heat fired my face, and it must look scalded. But I wouldn’t take back what happened. My bones hummed, and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to curl up somewhere and take a nap or drag Merrick to my bedroom and finish what we’d started.
“I’d like to spend the rest of the day with you.” Regret tinged Merrick’s words. His glance took in the three men fidgeting at the end of the hall. “My advisors are impatiently waiting to speak with me. I . . .” He glanced down at his pants, and his crooked grin rose. A flick of his finger and he wore identical, clean pants, a handy trick I wished I could do for myself. “I need to speak with them. I put them off yesterday and today, they will not be denied.”
“You need to eat lunch, don’t you?”
“I’ll have the cooks send something to the room, and we’ll eat while we talk.” He stroked my hair. “I’m sorry. I want to talk with you and share everything I can. Honestly, I want to be with you all the time but . . .”
But he was a king. It would be wrong of me to demand every moment of his day.
“It’s alright. I’ll grab something quick and walk in the gardens or something.” I wasn’t sure why I lied. Why not just tell him I was going to the library to snoop into his family history? He’d essentially suggested I help him already.
My irritation with him had ridden away with my orgasm, and maybe it was a bad thing that I’d allowed him to distract me. But there was no need to pester him now. Not while he was edging away from me and many hovered around us, acting like they weren’t listening when they probably were.
I could talk with him later, after I’d done some research of my own.
He held my face and kissed me, and the heat spiraling through me even from this simple touch both stunned and dismayed me. Where was the woman who’d thought she’d love only one man for a lifetime? Where was the grief she’d drowned in after he was murdered?
Her heart was finding a new home in the Evergorne King.
I wasn’t sure what to think about that, so I chose not to think about it at all. I’d wallowed in grief for a long time, and . . . I was tired of the tight feeling in my throat, of wanting to curl into a ball and cry, of the gut-wrenching agony I’d lived with since losing Kinart. This wasn’t ignoring those feelings; they’d never go away. I didn’t want them to, because that would mean pushing him aside.
This felt more like finding room in my heart for someone who could balance the pain with new joy, and that was alright. If I didn’t find a way to live, I might as well join Kinart in the funeral pyre.
The smile I gave Merrick came easier than I’d hoped. Sadness swirled through me, but I couldn’t deny the spark of excitement I felt at the thought of stepping forward with this man by my side. “I’ll see you later today, then?”
“My meetings may go until after dark.” He gripped my shoulders. “I wish I could be with you instead.” The longing in his voice told me he meant it.
“I won’t see you again today, then? We could walk in the gardens tonight. There must be a parlor where we could sit and talk.”
He stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “I wish I could. I’ll see you tomorrow, though?”
Because I didn’t want to cling, I nodded .
His posture loosened, and he lifted his hand. “Surren?”
One of the red and silver dressed men marched over to stand beside us, giving us both a deep bow. “Yes, my king?”
“I’m assigning you and a few select staff to my lovely queen.” His attention fell on three others. “I want you to escort her wherever she wishes to go and ensure she’s safe at all times.”
Surren nodded, his gaze scanning the three who’d stepped forward behind him. “The queen’s detail is in full force. We are honored.”
All four of them bowed in my direction.
Merrick’s gaze sought mine. “It was remiss of me not to assign a guard yesterday, and I apologize for that.”
“I’m fine.”
His jaw tightened. “I won’t allow anyone to harm you.”
One of the waiting advisors cleared his throat. Merrick scowled and a grumble rose up his throat.
I stroked his arm. “Go take care of your business. I’ll find something to do by myself.”
“Keep your guard with you at all times, please.” With one last, lingering look at me, Merrick strode down the long hall, joining the advisors. They walked around the corner, disappearing from view.
I ate lunch in my suite with my new guards standing at attention, two in the hall on either side of my door, the others inside the sitting room. Did they ever get tired of standing stiffly in place? I wouldn’t ask them. Back at the fortress, our guards remained on the top of the wall, though they watched for movement in the valley below. An attack never came from the sky.
But that was my past, and my new life was here where attacks could come at me from all angles.
While Farris snoozed on the rug by my feet, my ladies puttered around, straightening ornamental objects that didn’t need touching and making sure my afternoon gown was ready for me to don. Afternoon gown? I couldn’t imagine why I needed to change my clothing again, though I did need to tug on new undergarments. My pulse throbbed at the memory of Merrick kneeling in front of me, his face buried between my thighs. It would be easy to lounge on the sofa and let dreams carry me away.
Instead, I rose and walked into the bedroom with Farris padding behind, shutting the door in Moira’s face. She didn’t say a thing. She wouldn’t. Neither would the others. I was their queen, and my every whim needed to be respected.
Unused to having seven people around me at all times, I wanted to be alone if only for a short time.
Farris jumped up onto the bed while I removed the sword and scabbard from my spine. While no one would protest me wearing it, the odds of me needing to pull and use it here were practically zero. Before I could draw it, one of my guards would handle whatever threat lurched my way.
I’d always been better with short blades, and I’d keep them handy instead.
I placed the sword inside the closet, stroking the handle before shutting the door .
After donning a new undergarment, I dropped onto the bed and lay on my back, staring at the lush silver and green fabric artfully draped between the bedposts and smoothing down the sides. Lore’s touch inside my bedroom. Why in the world would Merrick allow such a thing? Except, they were friends, and Merrick would never suspect a friend of poaching.
Farris slept nearby, lightly snoring.
I fiddled with the bracelet Merrick had given me, sliding it down my arm to reveal the infernal mark that wouldn’t go away, before shoving the band back up to hide it.
It wasn’t a fated mate mark.
It wasn’t.
Because, if it was, I was in deep trouble.
I dozed and woke with late-day sunshine slanting across the sky and something pressing into my spine. I hitched my arm around to yank my sword from its scabbard only to remember I’d already removed it. Rolling to the side, I scowled at Ember’s Shadow I hadn’t left on the bed.
Sitting, I tugged it onto my lap.
“What are you going to tell me today?” I whispered.
Farris’s tail thumped on the bedding, but he didn’t open his eyes. He tucked his nose deeper into the bush of his tail and released a long sigh.
I flipped open the book, giving the fates a chance to decide if there was something I needed to see. The book split in the middle, to something scrolling across the page as if being written by hand at this very moment. My fingertip traced down the page as I struggled to decipher the handwriting, and I read it softly aloud .
In shadows reach where secrets lie,
A golden ring the true heart must spy.
With the cusp of shifting night,
Seek the path where the dark meets light.
Ancient doors with puzzles guard,
Within Evergorne’s walls, echoes marred.
With trust and flame, the way reveal,
Through hidden truths, the hearts you'll steal.
Unite the strengths of earth and air,
To reveal the prize that's hidden there.
As I read, the writing disappeared. Good thing I had a solid memory.
After pawing through the pages but finding nothing but blankness, I flopped on the bed again and scowled at the fabric overhead.
“What does that mean?” I repeated the poem in my mind a few times, locking it inside my brain.
“Moira?” I finally called out.
She bustled into the room. “Ah, my queen. You’re awake! I bet you had a lovely nap.”
“Yes, something like that.”
“Would you like to dress in your afternoon gown or in something finer you can wear to dinner?”
“Merrick can’t join me. ”
“I meant if you choose to dine with the queen mother and her ladies.”
Without Merrick beside me? Not a chance. Not until I was forced into it.
“Earlier, I mentioned that I’d like to visit the library,” I said.
Her hand stilled on the draperies she was smoothing back from one of the windows. “The library, you say?”
“Yes. I’d like to see what books it has to offer.”
“There are many. Some as old as the castle.” Her voice lowered, and a frown filled her face. “Others from even before that.”
“Ones that discuss Evergorne history?” I hadn’t missed the poem mentioning this court. Something was guiding me, teasing me with knots I couldn’t yet unravel. The fates? “Someone told me all the prior Evergorne kings died on their thirtieth birthday.”
Her fingers frozen on the drapes, Moira stared forward at nothing.
Farris sat up on the bed, his intent gaze on me.
“Were they murdered?” I asked Moira, stroking his spine while he wiggled with pleasure.
Her breath caught. “Murder?” Spinning, she strode over to stand nearby. “You must’ve had a nightmare, my queen. You poor thing. I’ll ask the castle healer for a sleeping draught you can take tonight to prevent such a horrifying thing from happening again.”
“I don’t want anything like that. I asked if all the prior Evergorne kings were murdered on their thirtieth birthdays. If it wasn’t an accident, they must’ve been stabbed or poisoned or . . .”
There were too many ways to kill a king. The realization gouged through me. Merrick would soon turn thirty.
Moira blinked a few times, her gaze unfocused, before her eyes lifted to meet mine. “You didn’t say. Would you like to change into an afternoon gown or one finer and more suitable for dinner, my queen?”
Alright, so she didn’t want to talk about this.
Or she couldn’t .
What could that mean?
I’d quiz Calista. Maybe Faelith or Surren would give me a straight answer. “How old is Merrick?”
“Twenty-nine, my queen,” Calista said from the open doorway. Her gaze shot to Moira. “Daughter, I believe you’re needed in the kitchens.”
“The kitchens, you say?” Moira’s hands fluttered at her sides. “Then I must go there immediately.” She dipped me a curtsy. “With your leave, of course, my queen.”
I flicked my hand in her direction, and she scurried from the room.
Calista went to the closet and started sorting through gowns. Farris watched her, his gaze shifting to me before spiking back at her.
“I plan to dine alone in my suite tonight,” I said. “I’m going to the library first.”
“Why the library, my queen?” she asked in a breezy tone, holding up a pale green gown .
“I love books.” That should be enough reason for now. “When does Merrick turn thirty?”
Her gaze met mine, and while shadows swirled in the pale blue depths, her face remained smooth. “The king will celebrate his thirtieth birthday in a little over six weeks’ time.”
If all the Evergorne kings had died on their thirtieth birthday, then . . . I needed to unravel Evergorne’s secrets as soon as possible.
I slid off the bed and tucked my feet into my shoes. “Let’s leave for the library now.”
Calista tucked her head forward. “Of course, my queen. Shall we don the green gown first? It’s simply divine.”
“The one I’m wearing will do.”
Her breathing stuttered. “It’s wrinkled, my queen. Surely—”
“I doubt anyone will care. Besides, who will I see inside the library?”
Farris hopped off the bed and yawned, following me into the sitting area with Calista tutting behind us.
Faelith sprang up from where she was sitting on one of the high back tufted chairs and dangled the nyxin’s leash in the air. “Shall I take this fine fellow to the gardens for a stroll and a bit of play?”
“Would you?” I should walk him myself, but I wanted to see if I could discover anything in the library. I’d always enjoyed libraries, which was how I’d found Ember’s Shadow . When we visited the fae manor, we were strictly warned to stay together, but I loved exploring. Was it my fault that, after finding a bathing area to attend to my needs, I’d been unable to resist wandering into the library ?
So many books. I couldn’t fathom seeing all of them in one place. The fortress library had a nice collection, but I’d read all the interesting books before I turned fifteen. But at the fae manor . . . I’d strolled around, marveling at the stacks after stacks packed with leatherbound goodness, dragging my fingertip across their spines.
One had tingled when I touched it, and I tugged Ember’s Shadow off the shelf. A quick peek told me it might be interesting, and I’d tucked it beneath my gown and hurried back to join the others.
That book had made a difference in my life ever since, and it was still playing games here at Evergorne. I was too determined to wait for it to reveal one tantalizing clue after another. I wanted to gorge myself on information, especially if it included what was happening with the Evergorne kings.
A fate-driven incident I couldn’t control was not going to steal my husband from me.
Faelith left the suite with Farris trotting behind her, promising to return him after their walk. As the door closed, excitement washed over me. Calista, still wearing a frown, stood to my right, her arms crossed on her chest.
“The library it is,” I said, breaking the silence.
“Very well, my queen.” The twitch of her lips told me she didn't like this, but that she wasn't prepared to argue with me about it.
With a pert nod, she rushed forward to open the door for me, and I stepped out into the hall.
It was time to do some snooping.